Wicked Lovers 07 Ours to Love (20 page)

“Absolutely.” Logan gave her a kind smile.

She shuffled down the hall, grabbed a few things out of her bedroom, and disappeared
into the bathroom across the hall. The second he heard the water running, Xander closed
his eyes. He could imagine London naked and dripping, the water sliding over her pale
skin as she dipped her head back and drenched herself, her hands caressing her flesh.

“You’ve got it bad,” Logan observed.

Xander sighed. Why lie? “Yep. But so does Javier.”

“Do you really think you could share London with him?”

“
I
could . . . probably, especially if that’s what London needs. The question is, could
he? He’s never been good at sharing, especially S.I. Industries. It’s our damn birthright,
and I’m lucky if I get to attend the Christmas party every year.”

“I know.” Logan hesitated, then sent him a considering stare. “But I remember you
telling me that when you and Javier were little kids, you shared a bedroom. You were
close then. Remember that?”

He did. They’d often pretended to fall asleep then stayed up past their bedtime to
drag out all their Hot Wheels and dump trucks to play into the wee hours. The nannies
had been so surprised that both boys had been happy to nap well past kindergarten.
Once their father discovered they’d been using their rest time to play, he’d separated
them immediately. He’d chastised Javier severely about responsibility and proper behavior.
His brother had already been a serious ten-year-old. After that, he’d become downright
severe. Their relationship had never rebounded.

“Of course. What about it?”

“You once said that was the happiest time of your life.”

Javier had cared about him then. They’d been on the same side, brothers united in
sharing a passion and keeping a secret.

And Xander saw immediately where Logan was going with this logic.

“It was. I . . . have no idea how Javier feels. I mean, he wants her. He might even
need her. It’s possible that, in her, he’s finally found a reason to give a shit again
and keep living.”

“I’m not seeing a downside to this.”

Giving voice to his greatest fear scared the crap out of him, but he pressed on. Logan
was a good sounding board, and Xander sensed that he was running out of time before
things started happening with London and his brother. Whatever was brewing between
the two of them would only simmer for so long. If he wanted to be a part of it all,
he was going to have to forge his path. “The biggest one is, if London loves him and
can’t fall for me . . .”

“You’ll be out in the cold, and it’s going to hurt.”

He frowned and studied his coffee. “Yeah.”

“But if you do nothing, she’ll probably choose Javier. He’s got more baggage, sure.
But in a lot of ways, he’s safer. She’s afraid of you.”

“Afraid?” That bowled him over. “I’d never hurt her!”

“Not like that.” Logan rolled his eyes. “Think, man. She looks at you like something
beautiful she can’t afford. She absolutely wants you, but I think your considerable
experience scares her, especially since she doesn’t have any herself. It’s got to
be daunting.”

She’d said as much. Xander hadn’t really listened. He’d never really considered it
from that perspective. In truth, he was nervous, too. A virgin was new for him, and
caring about her was even more unusual. Fucking to fuck . . . he could do that all
night—and had. But finding some way to use his body and his touch to tell London that
she was different to him? Without alienating his brother? Tall fucking order.

But it was his only shot.

“Good points. But I think I’ve got some ideas now. Would you forgive me if I asked
you to be a good friend and fuck off for a while? Javier is going to skip PT this
morning.”

Logan laughed. “No sweat. Tara would thank you, too. She said she had her first bout
of morning sickness yesterday, and she was sleeping when I left. I’m sure she’d be
happy to have me back. I’ll just . . . check on you later.”

“Thanks. For everything. I needed this.” Xander took the last swig of his coffee.

With a slap on his shoulder, Logan grabbed his empty mug and set it in the sink. “Good
luck, man. Seriously. I like the way you are with her. Usually, most people think
you’re a douche before they get to know you, but she mellows you.”

“Wow, don’t hold back for me.” He rolled his eyes as he walked Logan to the door.

“We’re too close for that shit. I’ll always give it to you straight. I expect you
to do the same.”

Xander nodded. “You’re right. And you didn’t ask for my advice, but I’m giving it
to you anyway. Come home. Being a SEAL is great when you’re young and unmarried. It’s
like wanting to be an astronaut or a race car driver when you’re a kid. But when you
grow up, you see the downside.”

“Yeah. The world can be a dangerous place, and I sometimes hate how much Tara worries.
She doesn’t tell me. To my face, she smiles and hugs me tight and says that she can’t
wait until I get home. But once when I was leaving for a mission, I stood against
the door after she’d closed it behind me and heard her sob her heart out. It killed
me, and it will be twice as hard once our family has grown.”

“Sounds like you’ve made up your mind.”

“I think so. Like you, I’m concerned about my brother. Hunter recently reentered civilian
life. He’s doing pretty well with it. But I can tell he’s still . . . adjusting.”
He sighed. “He’ll be all right, but I think his transition—and mine—will be smoother
if we do it together.”

Xander related. He and Javier would be wrapped around a woman, not a patriotic duty.
But he wouldn’t turn his back on his brother again, no matter what.

He and Logan parted with a promise to get together for a beer soon. Xander shut the
door and drew in a deep breath.

Time to change everything about his life.

When he left the foyer, he found London in the kitchen with damp hair, wearing a loose
pink T-shirt and a pair of denim capri pants. The instant he entered the room, he
smelled London in the air, so distinctly feminine. Her scent, the thought of sharing
space with her, it all made him so fucking hard.

She fixed some toast and fruit, then placed it all on a tray, along with another cup
of coffee and a tall glass of water. On the edge of the tray, she settled the file
folder with all the information from Maynard. She frowned, quickly jogged back to
the bedroom, then emerged with a bag from the drugstore. She rummaged inside and withdrew
two ibuprofen from a new bottle and a pair of glasses.

Xander frowned. “Breakfast?”

“He’s got to be hungry. He didn’t eat much of his dinner. I figured I’d feed him and
maybe he’d be less grumpy about the decision we made.”

“And all the other stuff?”

She sighed. “Yesterday when Mr. Navarro arrived, Javier told me to leave the office.
Something about the meeting seemed awfully tense to me and had disaster written all
over it. There was nowhere to eat my sack lunch, so I went to the drugstore and bought
him some ibuprofen for his inevitable hangover. He’s also having trouble reading the
documents in his office and he won’t get his eyes checked, so I bought him a pair
of readers to see if that will help.”

A slow smile spread across Xander’s face. She was totally smitten with his brother
and was already thinking ahead for ways to make Javier’s life easier. Little did she
know he had some ideas of his own.

He still just had one hang-up.

Approaching her softly, he cupped her shoulders and brought her against his body.
“You’re so kind,
belleza
. Besides being beautiful, you’re thoughtful. And wonderful. Are you trying to make
us both fall in love with you?”

She gasped as if he’d accused her of something terrible or as if the idea shocked
her. “No. Really, I just . . . He needs a friend.”

“But you like him as more than a friend.” Xander didn’t ask. It wasn’t a question.

“No.” Her words lacked conviction. She flushed and looked away. “I don’t know what
to say.”

“You’re interested in Javier. I can see it.” When she would have pulled away, he held
tighter. “But you’re not the kind of girl to have let me eat that sweet pussy if you
didn’t like me, too.”

“Xander!” She swatted his shoulder, her face turning a deep rosy red.

He laughed deeply. “Am I wrong?”

“That’s really . . . indelicate.”

Probably so, and he didn’t care at all. He took her by the shoulders again and trapped
her against the counter, caging her in his arms. Leaning into her body, he let her
feel exactly how hard she made him. Her body softened against him immediately. Her
nipples beaded. But she looked torn.

Xander lifted a hand between them and cupped her breast, slowly thumbing her nipple
until she closed her eyes and moaned. Triumph spiked. She wasn’t in love with him
yet, but he would work with desire.

“But true,
belleza
. You look beautiful in your desire. I’m thrilled that you want me.”

She hunched her shoulders and turned her face away from him, clearly ashamed. “What
is wrong with me?”

“Absolutely nothing. Go give my brother his breakfast in bed. I’ll be in shortly.”

London blinked at him in confusion. But as if she’d been given a reprieve, she snatched
up the tray and scurried to the master bedroom.

Whistling, Xander made his way out to his car to grab a few essentials. Then he hopped
in the shower and cleaned up, wrapping a towel around his waist and grabbing a couple
of condoms from his wallet. Finally, he headed across the house to find the two most
important people in his life.

***

LONDON
balanced the tray in her shaking hands and eased the door to Javier’s bedroom open
with her hip. Her thoughts were still boomeranging in her head after her run-in with
Xander in the kitchen. He knew she had feelings for them both. God, she’d barely been
able to face that fact, much less try to decide what she should do. If she was smart,
she’d step away from the situation. She needed the job, so she’d have to keep things
strictly business with Javier. But she would have to stop seeing Xander altogether.
She should probably drop off this tray, pack up her things, call Luc to come get her,
and resume her normal life.

But her normal life wasn’t making her happy. It wasn’t actually living or growing.
Nor could she just abandon the Santiago brothers. They were both hurting, both needing
help that she could give. Without her to referee, it was possible their relationship
would just disintegrate into more arguments. Their pride stood like a concrete wall
between them. If she left, how would she make them see that they could be so positive
in healing one another?

Spotting her, Javier sat up in bed with a smile. He’d showered, too, then lounged
in bed, wearing a black T-shirt and gray sweats. “I would have come to the kitchen.”

She set the tray over his lap, then eased down on the edge of the bed beside him.
“I know. But I wanted to talk to you first. Eat.”

Javier smiled as if it amused him to see her so bossy, but he dug into the fruit.
It was good to see him smile and eat, look somewhat carefree after yesterday. It was
good to see him doing something besides working himself into the ground and self-destructing.

“You look nervous. What have you done?”

Though he teased her, London couldn’t help but wince. “Don’t be angry, but—”

“When you start like that, I’m almost certain to be.”

London sighed. God, she was flubbing this. “Xander helped me last night with the projects
you gave me. I know that wasn’t what you wanted—”

“And then he helped you out of your clothes and onto your back?”

Her jaw dropped. “No!”

She and Xander had remained on task last night . . . no matter how many times she’d
looked across the little kitchen table and thought about how gorgeous he was, how
desirable she felt around him, and how incredible it was to have his undivided charm
directed at her. More than once, she wondered what would happen if they stopped working
and started kissing . . .

“Really?”

“Really,” she shot back. “Xander helped me with Maynard and assessing the situation
with the log-ins. We’ve got a plan of attack, and I think he helped me make very smart
choices. I’ll tell you about them when you’re feeling less sarcastic.” She stood and
glared down at him. “He was a perfect gentleman. Frankly, sir, my personal life is
none of your concern. You’re my boss, not my father.”

She whirled toward the door. Sometimes Javier was so stubborn, she wanted to scream.

“Stop!” Javier snapped.

London halted entirely. She didn’t mean to actually follow his orders, but that one
syllable shot straight into her brain—then right down to her sex. She heard him set
the tray on the nightstand and closed her eyes. Her clit began a slow throb.

What was it about these two men that just made everything inside her want to surrender
to them both? Why couldn’t she just pick one? Xander, maybe, so she didn’t jeopardize
her job. But then . . . how was she supposed to stop thinking about Javier? He needed
someone to care about him, and she didn’t seem to know how to do that without wanting
him, too. She couldn’t resist Xander, either. She liked his sense of play, his sexiness,
the way he made her feel beautiful, special.

Her head was still racing when she pivoted to face her boss, chin jutting angrily.
“What?”

Javier raised a brow at her tone. London swallowed. Clearly, he didn’t like her anger.
Well, too bad. Though his sharp gaze and his slow, graceful prowl from the bed made
her nervous, she stood her ground. It didn’t take him long to stand tall and tower
over her. Her heart beat furiously. Her chest burned with anxiety. And that damn throbbing
in her clit picked up speed.

“Careful, little one.”

“I’m trying to tell you the truth. I’m sorry if you don’t want to hear it. Xander
helped me accomplish something last night I’m not sure I could have done myself. If
you’d like to fire me for doing what I thought was best, then I’ll accept that. But
I think I’ve done everything I can to show you that I’m sincere in wanting what’s
best for you. And the business,” she added hastily.