Wicked: The Original Broadway Script

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Cast of Characters:
Elphaba.................................................. (Witch of the West)
G(a)linda ............................................... (Witch of the North)
Nessarose .........................................…. (Witch of the East)
Fiyero..............................................…... (Scarecrow/ Winkie Prince)
Boq..............................................….….. (Tinman/Munchkin)
Mme. Morrible..................................… (Press Secretary/Head of Shiz)
Wizard............................................…... (Leader of Oz)
Dr. Dillamond........................................ (Elphaba's Professor/Goat)
Frex................................................…… (Witch's Father)
Melena.............................................….. (Witch's Mother)
Shen Shen.........................................…. (Galinda's Friend)
Pfanee..............................................….. (Galinda's Friend)
Chistery.............................................… (Winged Monkey)
Head Guard.......................................… (Ozian Army Member)
Avaric..............................................….. (Fiyero's Servant)
Professer...........................................…. (Dillamond's Replacement)

ACT I
[Scene 1 - No One Mourns The Wicked]
Ozians:
GOOD NEWS, SHE'S DEAD!
THE WITCH OF THE WEST IS DEAD!
THE WICKEDEST WITCH THERE EVER WAS,
THE ENEMY OF ALL OF US HERE IN OZ,
IS DEAD! GOOD NEWS! GOOD NEWS!
Ozian:
Look, it's Glinda!
Glinda floats in on a giant bubble
Glinda:
It's good to see me, isn't it?
(Ozians Agree)
No need to respond that was rhetorical. Fellow Ozians:
LET US BE GLAD,
LET US BE GRATEFUL,
LET US REJOICIFY THAT GOODNESS COULD SUBDUE
THE WICKED WORKINGS OF YOU KNOW WHO!
ISN'T IT NICE TO KNOW
THAT GOOD WILL CONQUER EVIL?
THE TRUTH WE ALL BELIEVE'LL BY AND BY
OUTLIVE A LIE
FOR YOU AND...
Ozian:
Glinda! Exactly how dead is she?
Glinda:
Well, there has been much rumor and speculation... innuendo, outuendo... but let me set the record straight. According to the Time Dragon Clock, the melting occurred at the 13th hour; a direct result of a bucket of water thrown by a female child. Yes, the Wicked Witch of the West is dead!
Ozian:
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
Ozian:
NO ONE CRIES THEY WON'T RETURN!
Ozians:
NO ONE LAYS A LILY ON THEIR GRAVE!
Ozian Man:
THE GOOD MAN SCORNS THE WICKED!
Women:
THROUGH THEIR LIVES OUR CHILDREN LEARN!
Ozians:
WHAT WE MISS WHEN WE MISBEHAVE!
Glinda:
AND GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKEDS' LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED DIE ALONE
IT JUST SHOWS WHEN YOU'RE WICKED
YOU'RE LEFT ONLY
ON YOUR OWN
Ozians:
YES, GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKEDS' LIVES ARE LONELY
GOODNESS KNOWS
THE WICKED CRY ALONE
NOTHING GROWS FOR THE WICKED
THEY REAP ONLY
WHAT THEY'VE SEWN
Ozian:
Glinda, why does wickedness happen?
Glinda:
That's a good question; one that many people find confusifying. Are people born wicked, or do they have wickedness thrust upon them? After all, she had a childhood,; She had a father, who just happed to be the governor of munchlinkland..
Witch's Parents Enter.
Frex:
I'm off to the assembly, dear.
Glinda:
She had a mother, as so many do...
Frex:
HOW I HATE TO GO AND LEAVE YOU LONELY
Melena:
THAT'S ALRIGH IT'S ONLY JUST ONE NIGHT
Frex:
BUT KNOW THAT YOU'RE HERE, IN MY HEART
WHILE I'M OUT OF YOUR SIGHT!
Frex Exits. A Lover Runs Into The Room.
Glinda:
And like all families, they had their secrets.
Lover:
HAVE ANOTHER DRINK, MY DARK EYED BEAUTY,
I'VE GOT ONE MORE NIGHT LEFT HERE IN TOWN,
SO HAVE ANOTHER DRINK OF GREEN ELIXER
AND WE'LL HAVE OURSELVES A LITTLE MIXER
HAVE ANOTHER LITTLE SWALLOW LITTLE LADY,
AND FOLLOW ME DOWN
Glinda:
And of course, from the moment she was born she was... well... different!
Midwife:
AHHH!! It's coming!
Frex:
Now?
Midwife:
The baby's coming!
Frex:
And how!
Midwife:
I SEE A NOSE!
Frex:
I SEE A CURL!
Both:
IT'S A HEALTHY, PERFECT, LOVELY LITTLE...
(They Scream)
Melena:
What is it? What's wrong?
Midwife:
HOW CAN IT BE?
Frex:
WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
Midwife:
IT'S ATTROCIOUS!
Frex:
IT'S OBSCENE!
Both:
LIKE A FROGGY, FERNY CABBAGE,
THE BABY IS UNATURALLY
GREEN!!!
Frex:
Take it away... Take it away!!!!

Glinda:
So you see, it couldn't have been easy!
Munchkins:
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED!
NOW AT LAST, SHE'S DEAD AND GONE!
NOW AT LAST THERE'S JOY THROUGHOUT THE LAND!
AND GOODNESS KNOWS (GOODNESS KNOWS)
WE KNOW WHAT GOODNESS IS (OOOOHHHH)
GOODNESS KNOWS, THE WICKED DIE ALONE (SHE DIED ALONE)
WOE TO THOSE (WOE TO THOSE)
WHO SPURN WHAT GOODNESSES THEY ARE SHOWN!
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED (GOOD NEWS)
NO ONE MOURNS THE WICKED (GOOD NEWS)
NO ONE MOURNS... THE WICKED...
WICKED...
WICKED!!!!!
Glinda:
Well, this has been fun! But as you can imagine I have much to attend to, what with the Wizard's unexpected departure. So, if there are no further questions...
Ozian:
Glinda, is it true you were her friend?
Ozians Gasp
Glinda:
Well, I... you see... um... yes.
Louder Gasps
Glinda:
Well, it depends on what you mean by "friend".
She Motions Her Bubble Downward.
I did know her. That is, our paths did cross... at school. But you must understand, it was a long time ago and we were both very young.

[Scene 2 - Dear Old Shiz]

Scene Fades As Shiz Students Appear. Elphaba Enters With Them.
Students:
O, HALLOWED HALLS AND VINE DRAPED WALLS
THE PROUDLIEST SITE THERE IS.
WHEN GREY AND SEER OUR HAIR HATH TURNED,
WE SHALL STILL REVERE THE LESSONS LEARNED
IN OUR DAYS AT DEAR OLD SHIZ (DEAR OLD SHIZ)
OUR DAYS AT DEAR OLD...
Galinda:
Being Wheeled In On A Big Cart Filled With Luggage.
OOOOOOOOOOLD
All:
SHIZZZZZZZZZZZ (DEAR OLD SHIZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ)
Frex Wheels Nessarose On Stage.
Elphaba:
What?! What are you looking at? Oh, do I have something in my teeth? Okay, let's get this over with. No, I'm not seasick, yes, I've always been green, no, I didn't chew grass as a child.
Frex:
Elphaba!
Elphaba:
Oh, this is my younger sister, Nessarose. As you can see, she is a perfectly normal color.
Frex:
Elphaba, stop making a spectacle of yourself! I'm only sending you here for one reason...
Elphaba:
Yes, I know, to look after Nessarose.
Frex Holds Out A Box.
Frex:
My precious little girl: a parting gift.
Nessarose:
Now, father...
He Pulls Silver Shoes From The Box.
Jeweled shoes!
Frex:
As befits the future governor of Munchkinland. Elphaba, take care of your sister. And try not to talk so much!
He Kisses Nessarose And Exits.
Nessarose:
Elphaba...
Elphaba:
Well what could he have gotten me? I clash with everything!
Mme. Morrible Enters
Morrible:
Welcome, new students! I am Madame Morrible, headmistress here, at Shiz University. And whether you're here to study logic, literature, or linguification, I know I speak for my fellow faculty members when I say we have nothing but the highest hopes for some of you. Now, regarding room assignments...
Elphaba & Galinda Raise Their Hands. She Notices Galinda First.
Yes, is this regarding room assignments?
Galinda:
Oh, Madame, thank you for asking, but I've already been assigned a private suite...
Noticing Her Followers' Disappointment.
But you can all come visit me whenever you want!
Shen Shen:
How good of you!
Pfanee:
You are so good!
Galinda:
No I'm not!
Both:
Yes you are!
Galinda:
Now stop!
Swishes Her Hair.
Morrible:
Do you have a question?
Galinda:
Yes, you see, I am Galinda Upland of the Upperuplands... I've applied to your sorcery seminar, and indeed that is my sole purpose of attending Shiz; to study sorcery with you. Perhaps you recall my essay, "Magic Wands, Need They Have A Point".
Morrible:
Yes... However, I do not teach my seminar every semester, unless, of course, somebody special were to come along.
Galinda:
Well, exactly!
Elphaba:
We have not yet received our room assignments.
Morrible:
Yes, yes, of course! Oh, You must be Miss Nessarose, the governor's daughter. What a tragically beautiful face you have!
Sees Elphaba, snorts
...And you must be.
Elphaba:
I'm the other daughter. Elphaba. I'm beautifully tragic.
Morrible:
Yes, yes, I'm sure you're very bright.
Galinda:
Bright? She's phosphorescent.
Morrible:
I don't seem to have you on my list. Oh, well a slight gulch, but not to fret! We'll find someplace to put you.
Galinda:
Y'know, I don't even think she read my essay.
Shen Shen:
That's so unfair!
Boq:
You should say something!
Galinda:
Should I?
Pfanee:
Do it!
Morrible:
Now, which one of you young ladies would like to volunteer to share with Miss Elphaba?
Galinda:
Madame Morrible...
Morrible:
Thank you dear. Oh, how very good of you!
Galinda:
What?
Morrible:
Miss Elphaba, you may share with Miss Galinda.
Galinda:
Huh?
Morrible:
The governor made his concern for your sister's well being quite clear. So, I thought it would be best if she share my private compartment where I can assist her as needed...
Elphaba:
But Madame, I've always looked after my sister.
Morrible:
Everyone, to your dormitories.
Elphaba:
But Madame...
Elphaba:
Let her go!!!
Nessarose's Wheelchair Is Torn From Morrible's Hands And Begins To Wheel Itself Back To Elphaba.
Morrible:
How did you do that?
Galinda:
How did she do that?
Nessarose:
Elphaba!
Morrible:
You mean this has happened before?
Elphaba:
Uh... Something just comes over me sometimes... I'm sorry, Madame.
Morrible:
What? Never apologize for talent! Talent is a gift! Have you ever considered a career in sorcery?
Elphaba:
Sorcery?
Morrible:
I shall tutor you myself, and take no other students.
Galinda:
What?
All Students But Galinda Exit.
Morrible:
Oh, Miss Elphaba...
MANY YEARS I HAVE WAITED
FOR A GIFT LIKE YOURS TO APPEAR
WHY I PREDICT THE WIZARD COULD MAKE YOU HIS
MAGIC, GRAND VIZIER!
MY DEAR, MY DEAR,
I'LL WRITE AT ONCE TO THE WIZARD
TELL HIM OF YOU IN ADVANCE
WITH A TALENT LIKE YOURS, DEAR, THERE IS
A DEFIN-ISH CHANCE
IF YOU WORK AS YOU SHOULD
YOU'LL BE MAKING GOOD
Galinda:
Madame Morrible...
Morrible:
No, not now dearest.
She Exits.
Glinda:
This will just make me a better person.
She simles.
She Runs Off.

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