Wicked: The Original Broadway Script (2 page)

[Scene 3 - The Wizard & I]

Elphaba:
DID THAT REALLY JUST HAPPEN?
HAVE I ACTUALLY UNDERSTOOD?
THIS WEIRD QUIRK I'VE TRIED TO SURPRESS OR HIDE
IS A TALENT THAT COULD HELP ME MEET THE WIZARD
IF I MAKE GOOD
SO I'LL MAKE GOOD.
WHEN I MEET THE WIZARD,
ONCE I PROVE MY WORTH,
AND THEN I MEET THE WIZARD,
WHAT I'VE WAITED FOR SINCE
SINCE BIRTH!
AND WITH ALL HIS WIZARD WISDOM
BY MY LOOKS HE WON'T BE BLINDED
DO YOU THINK THE WIZARD IS DUMB?
OR LIKE MUNCHKINS SO SMALL-MINDED? NO!
HE'LL SAY TO ME "I SEE WHO YOU TRULY ARE,
A GIRL ON WHOM I CAN RELY"
AND THAT'S HOW WE'LL BEGIN,
THE WIZARD AND I
ONCE I'M WITH THE WIZARD,
MY WHOLE LIFE WILL CHANGE,
'CUZ ONCE YOU'RE WITH THE WIZARD
NO ONE THINKS YOU'RE STRANGE
NO FATHER IS NOT PROUD OF YOU,
NO SISTER ACTS ASHAMED,
AND ALL OF OZ HAS TO LOVE YOU
WHEN BY THE WIZARD YOU'RE ACLAIMED
AND THIS GIFT OR THIS CURSE
THAT I HAVE INSIDE
MAYBE AT LAST I'LL KNOW WHY
WHEN WE ARE HAND IN HAND,
THE WIZARD AND I
AND ONE DAY HE'LL SAY TO ME, "ELPHABA,
A GIRL WHO IS SO SUPERIOR,
SHOULDN'T A GIRL WHO'S SO GOOD INSIDE
HAVE A MATCHING EXTERIOR?
AND SINCE FOLKS HERE TO AN OBSURED DEGREE
SEEM FIXATED ON YOUR VERDEGRIS
WOULD IT BE ALRIGHT BY YOU
IF I DEGREENIFY YOU?"
AND OF COURSE THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT TO ME
"ALRIGHT! WHY NOT?" I'LL REPLY
OH, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE WIZARD AND I
YES, WHAT A PAIR WE'LL BE
THE WIZARD AND...
UNLIMITED, MY FUTURE IS UNLIMITED
AND I'VE JUST HAD A VISION ALMOST LIKE A PROPHECY
I KNOW
IT SOUNDS TRULY CRAZY
AND TRUE, THE VISION'S HAZY
BUT I SWEAR SOME DAY THERE'LL BE
A CELEBRATION THROUGHOUT OZ
THAT'S ALL TO DO
WITH ME!
AND I'LL STAND THERE WITH THE WIZARD
FEELING THINGS I'VE NEVER FELT
AND THOUGH I'D NEVER SHOW IT
I'D BE SO HAPPY I COULD MELT!
AND SO IT WILL BE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
AND I'LL WANT NOTHING ELSE 'TILL I DIE
HELD IN SUCH HIGH ESTEEM!
WHEN PEOPLE SEE ME THEY WILL SCREAM
FOR HALF OF OZ'S FAVORITE TEAM:
THE WIZARD...
AND I!!!!

[Scene 4 - What Is This Feeling?]

Galinda:
Dearest, Darlingest Momsy and Popsicle...
Elphaba:
My dear father...
Both:
THERE'S BEEN SOME CONFUSION OVER ROOMING HERE AT SHIZ
Elphaba:
BUT, OF COURSE, I'LL CARE FOR NESSA...
Galinda:
BUT, OF COURSE, I'LL RISE ABOVE IT...
Both:
FOR I KNOW THAT'S HOW YOU'D WANT ME TO RESPOND
Yes...
THERE'S BEEN SOME CONFUSION FOR YOU SEE MY ROOMATE IS...
Galinda:
UNUSUALLY, AND EXCEEDLINGLY PECULIAR AND ALTOGETHER QUITE IMPOSSIBLE TO DESCRIBE...
Elphaba:
Blonde.
Galinda:
WHAT IS THIS FEELING, SO SUDDEN AND NEW?
Elphaba:
I FELT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU!
Galinda:
MY PULSE IS RUSHING...
Elphaba:
MY HEAD IS REELING...
Galinda:
MY FACE IS FLUSHING...
Both:
WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
FERVID AS A FLAME,
DOES IT HAVE A NAME?
YES...
LOATHING!
UNADULTERATED LOATHING!
Galinda:
FOR YOUR FACE
Elphaba:
YOUR VOICE
Galinda:
YOUR CLOTHING
Both:
LET'S JUST SAY...
I LOATHE IT ALL!
EVERY LITTLE TRAIT HOWEVER SMALL
MAKES MY VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL
WITH SIMPLE, UTTER LOATHING
THERE'S A STRANGE EXHILARTION
IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION
IT'S SO PURE, SO STRONG!
THOUGH, I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST,
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST!
AND I WILL BE LOATHING, LOATHING YOU
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!
Students:
DEAR GALINDA, YOU ARE JUST TOO GOOD!
HOW DO YOU STAND IT, I DON'T THINK I COULD!
SHE'S A TERROR! SHE'S A TARTAR!
WE DON'T MEAN TO SHOW A BIAS,
BUT GALINDA, YOU'RE A MARTAR!
Galinda:
Well...
THESE THINGS ARE SENT TO TRY US!
Students:
POOR GALINDA FORCED TO RESIDE
WITH SOMEONE SO DISGUSTICIFIED
WE JUST WANT TO TELL YOU
WE'RE ALL ON YOUR SIDE!
Students:
WE SHARE YOURE LOATHING, UNALDULTERATED LOATHING...
Both:
WHAT IS THIS FEELING SO SUDDEN AND NEW?
Students:
FOR HER FACE, HER VOICE, HER CLOTHING...
Both:
I FELT THE MOMENT I LAID EYES ON YOU...
Students:
LET'S JUST SAY...
Both:
MY PULSE IS RUSHING, MY HEAD IS REELING...
Students:
WE LOATHE IT ALL!
Both:
OH WHAT IS THIS FEELING?
Students:
EVERY LITTLE TRAIT HOWEVER SMALL...
Both:
DOES IT HAVE A NAME?
Students:
MAKES OUR VERY FLESH BEGIN TO CRAWL...
Both:
YES...
All:
AHHHH!!!
Students:
............LOATHING!
Both:
LOATHING!
Students:
................................................ LOATHING!
Both:
THERE'S A STRANGE EXILHARATION
Students:
....................................... LOATHING!
Both:
IN SUCH TOTAL DETESTATION
Students:
....................................... SO STRONG!
Both:
IT'S SO PURE, IT'S SO STRONG!!!
Both:
THOUGH I DO ADMIT IT CAME ON FAST,
STILL I DO BELIEVE THAT IT CAN LAST,
Students:
................. LOATHING
Both:
AND I WILL BE LOATHING, FOR-FOREVER
Students:
LOATHING................... LOATHING....... LOATHING YOU!
Both:
LOATHING, TRULY, DEEPLY LOATHING YOU!
Students:
............................ LOATHING, UNADULTERATED LOATHING!!!
Both:
MY WHOLE LIFE LONG!!!!
Elphaba:
Boo!
Galinda:
Ahh!
Elphaba:
Hahahaha!

[Scene 5 - Dr. Dillamond's Class]

The Students Are In Desks As Dillamond Arrives.
Dillamond:
Settle down, now! I have read your most recent essays. And I am amazed to report the progress! Although, some of us still tend to favor form over content... Ms. Glinda.
Galinda:
It's GAlinda.
Dillamond:
Excuse me... Glinda.
Galinda:
I really don't see what the problem is. Every other professor seems to be able to pronounce my name.
Elphaba:
Maybe pronouncing your precious name isn't the sole purpose of Doctor Dillamond's life. Maybe he's not like every other professor. Maybe some of us are different.
Galinda:
Oh! It seems the artichoke is steamed.
Dillamond:
Class, class! Miss Elphaba has a point! As you know, I am the sole Animal on the faculty. The token Goat, as it were. But it wasn't always this way. Oh, dear students, how I wish you could have seen it as it once was. Where you could walk down the halls and see an antelope explicating a sonnet, a snow leopard solving an equation, a wildebeast waxing philosophic. Don't you see, dear students, how our dear Oz is becoming less and less...looks at Elphaba... colorful. Now, who can tell me what sent these events into motion?
Elphaba:
Raises hand
. From what I've heard, it all started with the great drought.
Dillamond:
Exactly. Food grew scarce, people grew hungrier and angrier. And the question became "Whom can we blame?" Can anyone tell me what is meant by the term "Scapegoat"?
Elphaba Raises Hand.
Someone besides Miss Elphaba? Ah yes, Miss Glinda...
Galinda:
It's GAlinda... with a GA. I don't see why you can't just teach us history instead of always harping on the past.
Dillamond:
Well, perhaps these questions will enlighten you...
Walks Over To The Chalk Board And Turns It Over. On it is written: ANIMALS SHOULD BE SEEN AND NOT HEARD.
Who is responsible for this? I'm waiting for answer... Very well, that will be all for today... You heard me, class dismissed!!!
All Students Exit Except Elphaba & Nessarose. Dillamond Has His Back Turned To Her.
Elphaba:
You go on ahead, Nessa.
Nessarose Exits.
Elphaba:
Reading The Board Aloud.
"Animals should be seen and not heard..."
Dillamond:
Oh, Miss Elphaba, don't worry about me, go along and enjoy your friends.
Elphaba:
Oh that's alright, I have no friends. Would you like to share my lunch?
Dillamond:
Oh, thank you! How kind.
She Pulls Out A Candy Bar And Unwraps It. He Takes The Paper and Begins To Eat It. He Sees The Board.
Dillamond:
I seem to have lost my appetite.
Elphaba:
You shouldn't let statements like that bother you. I mean, I always do, but you shouldn't.
Dillamond:
Oh Miss Elphaba, if it were only a matter of words on a chalkboard. But the things one hears these days... dreadful things! Miss Elphaba...

[Scene 6 - Something Bad]

Dillamond:
I'VE HEARD OF AN OX, A PROFESSOR FROM QUOX
NO LONG PERMITTED TO TEACH,
WHO HAS LOST ALL POWERS OF SPEECH.
AND AN OWL IN MUNCHKIN ROCK
A VICAR WITH A THRIVING FLOCK
FORBIDDEN TO PREACH
NOW HE ONLY CAN SCREECH!
ONLY RUMORS, BUT STILL, ENOUGH TO GIVE PAUSE
TO ANYONE WITH PAWS
SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING IN OZ
Elphaba:
SOMETHING BAD?
HAPPENING IN OZ?
Dillamond:
UNDER THE SURFACE
BEHIND THE SCENES
SOMETHING BAAAAAH...
Sorry, bad...
Elphaba:
Dr. Dillamond, are you alright? Shall I fetch you a glass of water?
Dillamond:
No, I don't know what came over me.
Elphaba:
So, you're saying that there are animals that have, somehow, forgotten how to speak? But, how is that possible?
Dillamond:
Well, with so much pressure not to...
Morrible Enters.
Morrible:
I heard there was some sort of disturburance in class. Are you alright, Doctor? Oh, Miss Elphaba, you're still here! I thought you would have been on your way to my seminar by now.
Elphaba:
Yes Madame, ordinarily I would be but...
Morrible
: But what? I do hope I have not misplaced my trust in you. Magic is a very demanderating mistress, and if one has ambitions of meeting the Wizard. I'm sure Doctor Dillamond sees my point.
Morrible Exits.
Elphaba:
I'd better go. Doctor Dillamond, if something bad is happening to the Animals then someone has to tell the Wizard. That's why we have a Wizard!
SO NOTHING BAD
Both:
NOTHNG ALL THAT BAD
Dillamond:
NOTHING TRULY BAAAAHHH...
Sorry... Bad.
Elphaba:
IT COULDN'T HAPPEN HERE,
IN OZ...

[Scene 7 - Fiyero]

Fiyero & Avaric Enter.
Avaric:
Here we are, sir! Shiz University!
Fiyero:
What? Already?
Avaric:
Yes, sir.
Fiyero:
What a shame. Well, we'll see you soon, Avaric. Don't worry, I won't last longer at this school than I did at any of the others.
Avaric Exits.
Boq:
Uh, miss Galinda, I know I'm just a munchkin, but munchkins have feelings too, and I've been trying to tell you mine, for you. But sometimes it seems like you don't even know I'm there.
Galinda:
That's not true, Biq.
Boq:
It's Boq.
Galinda:
Biq, do you know who that is? That's Fiyero Tiggular, tha Winkie Prince whose reputation is so scandalacious!
Boq Looks Disgusted. Fiyero Walks Toward Them. Galinda Swishes Her Hair. Fiyero, Noticing Her Strange Behavior, Does The Same.
Galinda:
To Fiyero.
Were you looking for something or someone?
Fiyero:
Uhhh yea... history... class? I don't know... somewhere?
Boq:
History building is way over there my friend...
Galinda:
That class just ended!
Fiyero:
Oh! Perfect timing! So, uh, what does one do for fun around here?
Galinda:
Nothing really... until now...
Boq:
We've been studying!
Fiyero:
Well, I see that once again the responsibility to corrupt my fellow students falls to me. Fortunately, I'm up for the task.