Wild About the Wrangler (15 page)

“I keep telling myself to keep my distance, but that's not working out.”

“Are you upset?”

“Definitely. You've turned me upside down and sideways. I feel like I'm on the Tilt-A-Wheel at the carnival.”

She had a disturbing thought. “Please don't cancel the lessons.” She needed them for many reasons.

“I won't do that. Maybe it's ego, but I feel as if I'm the one person who can help you.”

“You are.”

“But the more we're together, the more I want you. We shouldn't be dancing this way but here we are.”

She wound both arms around his neck and leaned back to look into his eyes. “I can't speak for you, but I like it.”

“I like it too much.” He settled both hands at the small of her back. “But it's safer than being together in the barn. I'm not about to kiss you with the whole town of Bickford watching.”

“But you want to?”

“Oh, yeah.” His gaze drifted down to her mouth. “I want to.”

Her pulse rate had been in the red zone but now the needle was over the line. “How do you know they're watching? Maybe you could kiss me and nobody would notice.”

“Considering how I'd like to kiss you, they'd notice all right.”

“And how would that be?”

“You're flirting with me.” He smiled. “In fact, you've been flirting ever since I walked in here tonight. What's that all about? What's changed?”

“My attitude. I know you're worried about Georgie's reaction, but I just talked to her and she wouldn't make trouble for you.”

“Unless I break your heart. Then she'll come down on me like a blacksmith's anvil. She sent a message to that effect through Vince today.”

“You can't break my heart if I won't let you. You can't interfere with my work if I don't let you. I'm the one in charge of my reactions. I finally figured that out. So the only thing standing between us is whatever blockade you throw up.”

“I see.” He pulled her in a little tighter. “Not going to make it easy on me, are you?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.” He released her and gently unhooked her arms from around his neck. “Then come with me.”

For one wild moment she thought he was about to take her upstairs to one of the hotel rooms. Instead he grasped her hand and ran interference through the crowd before ushering her through the door that opened onto the street. After the heat of the dance floor, the cold air made her gasp. “Mac, you left your hat in—”

“I'll get it later. Come over here.” He led her around the end of the building into the shadows. “We have something to discuss and we need privacy.”

“All right.” A slight breeze made her shiver.

“But first I have to do this.” He drew her into his arms.

So like dancing, and so not. Heart racing, she nestled against him. “I think I'm going to like this part.”

“I hope so, because I'm going crazy, and if I don't kiss you, I'll go completely insane.”

“Can't have that.” She lifted her mouth to his and he met her halfway. Heaven.

E
ver since Mac had noticed Anastasia watching him from across the saloon, the urge to drag her into his arms and kiss the living daylights out of her had simmered like a hot bed of coals. Kissing her ignited the flames. Her mouth welcomed him, teased and taunted him with what he could have if only he'd let go. He was damn close.

Yesterday morning he'd only cradled her face in his hands while he'd delved deep and sampled the lush taste of her. But after molding his body against hers for that slow dance, he had to have more.

Her plump breasts yielded as he pulled her in tight. His fevered brain pictured the rich promise of her hips and thighs as he stroked downward. Shoving his hands in the back pockets of her jeans, he cupped the sweetest little ass to ever grace a saddle.

She moaned as he pulled her against his rapidly stiffening cock. Clutching his shoulders, she arched against him, inviting him to take what he so desperately wanted. The muted sound of the band playing another two-step filtered through the wall of the saloon. He wondered if she liked making love to music. He wanted to find out.

As the red haze of lust saturated his brain, he imagined pushing her deeper into the shadows and bracing her against the side of the weathered building. He could take her hard and fast. The music and crowd noise would drown out their cries. No one would ever know.

The heat of that vision nearly made him come. Shaking with the effort to control the urgent demands of his body, he slowly released her and stepped back. He could barely breathe and his heart was pounding like the hooves of a runaway.

Vince had told him to carry condoms. He'd deliberately left them at home tonight. But in his aroused state, he seriously considered going there with her now. He could say
Come home with me
and she'd do it.

She was breathing as hard as he was, and her kiss . . . My God, the woman was a volcano ready to blow. The noise from the saloon might not be enough to drown out their cries, after all. If he did take her home, they might break the bed.

“Mac.” She took a step toward him.

“Hang on.” He ran a trembling hand through his hair. “I haven't recovered.”

“Do you need to? Can't we just—”

“No. We have to talk.”

“Oh. Is this about the blockade?”

“Yes, ma'am, it is.”

She sighed. “I had a feeling. Lay it on me, cowboy.”

He let out a strangled laugh. “You have no idea how much I'd love to do that very thing.”

“You think not? I was on the receiving end of that kiss and I was fully aware of . . . other indications. If I had my sketchbook, I could draw an accurate representation of what was going on with your—”

“Never mind.” She had a smart mouth in more ways than one. “You need to know something about me. I'm divorced.”

It took her a split second to respond. “
That's
the blockade?”

“Yes.”

“Then I don't get it. Is your ex a psycho who'll murder any woman who tries to take her place?”

“No.”

“Are there kids involved?”

“No.”

“How long were you married to this person?”

“Less than a year.”

“Less than a
year
?” She blew out a breath. “So you made a mistake and married the wrong person. No big deal. Happens all the time. At least the two of you figured it out early on, before you had kids and things got complicated.”

He could let her believe that sanitized version and his image would remain untarnished. He'd really enjoyed being the object of her admiration and lust. Giving that up wouldn't be fun, but honesty made him tell her the rest of it.

“The thing is, we didn't come to the decision together. She left me after less than a year because I wasn't making her happy. She said I was lousy at relationships and didn't understand her at all.”

Anastasia met that with silence, which he took to mean his shiny image now had raw egg all over it. He'd expected that to happen, but he still didn't have to like it. This moment had to come, though.

He scrubbed his hands through his hair again. Usually during moments like this he fooled with his hat, but he'd left it inside. “Anyway, now that you know the story, you'll probably want to go on back inside and enjoy your evening. I'm thinking of heading home.” The hat was for special occasions so he didn't need it immediately. He could pick it up tomorrow.

But instead of walking away, she kept standing there gazing at him. “Did you love her?”

“Does it matter?”

“It always matters.”

“I sure thought I did. But it's possible I don't understand love, either.”

“Do you still love her?”

He knew the answer to that one. “No. If I did I'd think of her a lot and want her back. I don't. But I sure learned my lesson about marriage. I'm not cut out for it. I mean, if she was sick of me in less than a year, what does that say about my skill as a husband?”

Anastasia stepped closer. “So you got married, spent a few months together, and then she got fed up and walked out. Is that what you're telling me?”

“Pretty sad, huh?”

“Pretty confusing! Did she complain about your behavior but you refused to change?”

“Well, no. I thought we were rocking along okay.”

“Did she suggest the two of you go to counseling?”

“I asked her about that and she said it was no use. I didn't understand her and I wasn't going to. When I asked her what she meant, she said that if I really loved her I'd know what she meant. She wouldn't have to explain anything.”

“Oh, Mac.” She moved right in on him and cupped his face in both hands.

“Look, I didn't tell you so I could get your sympathy.” He shouldn't put his arms around her again, but he did, anyway.

“Too late. You have it. And I want to strangle that stupid girl.”

“You want to strangle Sophie?”

“If that's her name, yes, I do. Did she think you were supposed to be some sort of mind reader? She's the one with the problem, not you.”

He smiled. “Now you sound like Vince.”

“And Vince is right! Who else have you talked to about this Sophie person?”

“Nobody, not even my folks, although my mom tried. I was embarrassed that I married somebody who left me so quick. I mean, who wants to talk about that? I gave Sophie all the wedding presents and decided it was an episode best forgotten.”

“Except you haven't forgotten it.” She wound her arms around his neck and tilted her face up to his. “That
episode
is what's keeping you from getting involved with me.”

“Which it should. That's why I'm telling you all this, so you'll understand there's no future with a guy like me.”

“No future? A guy like you? What does that mean?”

“Just that. I'm a dead-end street.”

“As opposed to what? A main thoroughfare that leads to the altar?”

“Eventually, yes.” She was within kissing range again, but he tamped down the urge to take advantage of that. They should get this issue resolved, and kissing wouldn't help.

“Where the hell did you get that ridiculous idea?”

“From Vince.”

“Now I feel like strangling Vince. Did he say that in so many words?”

“Not exactly. But he said you believed in the fantasy, the knight on a white horse and all that. And from what I've seen, he's got it right. You're a dreamer, which is one of the things that makes you such a great artist.”

“I'll admit I'm a dreamer, but my dreams are a lot more X-rated than my dear brother-in-law-to-be thinks. Sure, I wouldn't mind ending up with a guy who loves me more than life itself. Who wouldn't want that? But—”

“See what I mean? You crave the happily-ever-after, just like he said.”

“Yeah,
eventually.
But I don't plan to lock myself in an ivory tower until that prince rides up on a white horse to rescue me and pledge his undying love. I'm an artist. I need to sow some wild oats.” She wiggled against him. “Want to help me?”

He groaned. She was making this far more difficult than he'd thought she would. “Vince knows my history. He's worried about a matchup between you and me.”

“Vince needs to mind his own business. And for the record, Georgie thinks I can handle you just fine.”

“I'm not sure Georgie knows all the details of my divorce. And maybe she's giving me the benefit of the doubt. But the fact is that I broke Sophie's heart, and I didn't even realize I was doing it.”

“Because she has the communication skills of a fence post, that's why. Or maybe she thrives on drama. Who knows? But she sounds whacked.”

“Well, you're not. You're incredible, and if I messed you up somehow I'd never forgive myself. That's the bottom line. So the best thing to do is call a halt before that happens.”

Her eyes narrowed. “I think you actually believe that bullshit.”

“Well
you
should believe it. For your own good.”

“I see.” Her jaw tightened and her voice had an edge to it that hadn't been there before. “So you think you know what's good for me?”

He could tell she was getting mad, but he couldn't back down now. “In this case, yes.”

Angry spots of color bloomed on her cheeks. “And if I tell you that I'm plenty strong enough to have a hot, juicy affair with you and not end up an emotional wreck, you won't believe me?”

He sensed a trap. Whichever way he answered was liable to get him in even more trouble. Besides that, her description of a
hot, juicy affair
was interfering with his ability to think clearly. “I'm not sure.”

She backed out of his arms. “Well, let me give you my bottom line, Mac Foster. I'm tougher than you think.” She poked him in the chest with her finger. “Ironically, you're the one who helped me see that.” She poked him again. “So if you choose to view me as some fragile flower that you could unknowingly crush under the heel of your boot, that's your loss, buster!”

With that she whirled away and stomped back around the building. He heard the swell of music as she opened the door, and then it was muted again when she closed it.

Somehow in the process of trying to do the right thing, he'd managed to insult her. She was upset with him, but not for the reasons he'd expected. His revelation was supposed to destroy her illusions about him. Instead she'd taken his comments all wrong, as if he'd implied that she was too weak to deal with the likes of him.

Well, hadn't he implied that? She'd been clear about her intentions. She wanted him. And how had he responded? He'd rejected her on the grounds that it was for her own good.

He massaged the back of his neck as he considered what to do. In essence, he'd achieved his goal. She wasn't likely to make advances to him now that she considered him a patronizing jerk who didn't respect her as an adult capable of making her own decisions.

So if he really believed he was bad for her, and deep down he still felt that way, then he should do nothing. He'd taken care of the problem. The riding lessons wouldn't be much fun anymore, but she'd show up because she needed his expertise.

Maybe being her instructor had made him think he had the right to make other decisions for her, too. If so, shame on him. He'd never appreciated people telling him what he should and shouldn't do. Anastasia was no different.

He considered going back in there so he could at least apologize, but that didn't seem like a good idea, either. Too crowded and too noisy to make a decent job of it. As he stood there debating, he heard the music swell up again as if somebody was coming out. Maybe it was her.

His heart pumping, he hurried around to the front of the building. He didn't know what he'd say, but somehow he'd make her understand that he was sorry.

Instead of Anastasia, Vince came out carrying Mac's hat. “I thought you might still be hanging around stewing in your juice.”

“Did she send you out here with my hat so I wouldn't have a reason to come back in?”

“No, she did not. I brought it out here to eliminate the possibility she'd turn it into a chip-and-dip bowl.” He handed over the hat.

“Thanks. It's my good hat.”

“I know that. But more significantly, she knows that, which was why it was in jeopardy.”

“What's she doing now? Besides threatening my hat, I mean.”

“Dancing with whoever's available, mostly Travis.”

Jealousy churned in his gut.

“I can also report that she's not happy with either of us.”

“I screwed it up.” He put on the hat and tugged the brim down. He didn't feel like making eye contact at the moment. “I made it sound like she doesn't know what's good for her.”

“Oh, boy.”

“Yeah, I know. Not smooth. But she was coming on strong and so I decided to tell her about the divorce and the reason for it. I thought that would scare her off.”

“When she took me over in a corner for my private tongue-lashing, she mentioned that you thought the divorce was your fault when it clearly was not. For the record, I agree with her on that point.”

“The fact remains that the marriage was a disaster. I didn't know what I was doing then, and I'm not convinced I have a clue now. She doesn't need to get mixed up with me. You told me she believes in the fantasy, but I don't anymore.”

“Oh, yeah, she said you mentioned my comment on that subject. I was guilty of making some assumptions, but she's set me straight. I'm no longer allowed to say such things about her.”

“Sorry. I didn't intend to get you in trouble, too.”

“That's okay. No permanent damage done.” Vince took a deep breath and let it out. “Look, are you positive that Anastasia is the person you're worried about?”