Wild About the Wrangler (16 page)

“Of course she is. Who else?”

“You.”

“What?”

“I know you don't want to talk about Sophie, and I don't blame you. It's a depressing subject. And you probably don't want to admit this, either, but she hurt you when she walked out.”

His chest tightened. “It wasn't pleasant, but like I told Anastasia, I never think about her. It's not as if I still love her or anything.”

“I believe you. It's hard to keep loving somebody who doesn't know how to love you back. She was damaged, Mac.”

“Okay! So maybe that's true. But I was stupid enough not to see that. Or blinded by lust. When I'm attracted to somebody sexually, that sometimes takes over and I miss other parts of her personality. That's a failing.”

“That's testosterone. We've all been there. You're not the first guy to convince himself that a hot time in the sack equals true love.”

“I know, but I don't want to make that mistake with Anastasia and she really gets me—” He stopped abruptly. “I probably shouldn't talk like this. You're about to be related to her.”

“Hey, I'm well aware of your obsession. We almost ended up getting soaked today because you were daydreaming about her. But you think having sex with her is going to mess her up emotionally, right?

“Right.”

“But what if she's not worried? What if she isn't going to let you mess her up? Because that's what she told me.”

“She'd be foolish to take a chance that it might happen. It's not worth the risk.”

“How about you? Are you willing to take a risk?”

His chest tightened another notch. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“I think you do. She's getting to you.”

He met Vince's gaze. “Not to the point where it's a problem.”

“So says you. I'm highly qualified to recognize the signs because I just went through this. I watched you dancing with her. She's getting to you, and you're scared to death that she'll walk away.”

“Of course she will! She's going places.” He wished breathing hadn't become so damn difficult. “She has a bright future. Someday we'll all be able to say we knew her when.”

“That's not what I mean and you know it. But I won't belabor the point. Are you coming back inside?”

“I don't think it's a good idea.”

“Probably not. Give her a chance to cool down before you start groveling.”

“Groveling? I plan to apologize, but I don't think I need to—”

“If you'd seen the gleam in her eye when she picked up your hat and asked for a bowl of salsa, you might rethink your position on that.”

“She's really mad at me, isn't she?”

“She is, but you could take that as a good sign. My guess is she's upset because she's still into you. Fortunately, she'll be at Ed's in the morning because she's motivated to get good enough for the trail ride. You'll have the perfect opportunity to grovel.”

“I'll have to think about that.”

“I'm just saying that if you play your cards right, this could work out for you, after all.”

“Are you telling me I should have an affair with your future sister-in-law? Is that what I'm hearing?”

“Absolutely not. I would never suggest such a thing. But I'll leave you with this question. Are you a man or a mouse?”

A
nastasia went to bed mad and woke up mad. At least she told herself that was the situation. Being mad allowed her to skip the cute mug and the extra coffee. She was through making gestures of friendship or any other type of gesture toward Macario Foster.

Anger accelerated her routine so much that she had time to eat her P B and J and drink her coffee before she walked over to the stable. She started to put her hair in a ponytail and then remembered she couldn't do that because she had a hat. Quickly braiding it the way she used to when she was nine, she crammed the borrowed hat on her head and left the house.

The pigtails appealed to her quirky sense of humor. He'd wanted to treat her like a child, so she'd play the part and look like one. No way was she going to wear her hair down the way he liked it. She brought her phone and earbuds, though, because although he was a jerk, he had good ideas.

He had some other good things about him, too. She grudgingly admitted that as she walked into the barn and watched him loading hay into the feeders. For some reason he was alone this morning. Maybe Ed had other stuff to do and so Mac was helping out. He was that sort of person.

Once again they were alone in the barn. She wasn't going to turn that into a romantic opportunity after last night's conversation. Even so, there was something about a man in a well-worn Stetson and a denim jacket earnestly doing his job.

Mac was one of the good guys, which made it hard to stay mad at him. He thought he was doing the right thing, even though he was taking blame where he shouldn't and treating her as if she didn't know her own mind. Also—this was superficial but she noticed—his jeans fit him like a glove, a fact she'd recorded in more than one sketch.

She'd been awake enough this morning to leave her messenger bag at home. Hauling it over here was a silly habit when she never took time to sketch anything. But if she had it now, she'd want to draw Mac the way he looked as he walked down the aisle toward her.

He moved with such grace. There were times she'd wished for a video camera to record that ease of movement, but she wasn't a videographer and never intended to be. Instead she'd freeze that loose stride in a sketch, suggesting it with the subtle tightening of the fabric encasing one thigh while the other remained loose. It would be tricky, but worth the effort.

Yesterday he'd smiled at her. Today he did not. He was probably remembering their last discussion. She'd expected to spend the night dreaming about their heated interchange, but after dancing until eleven, she'd conked out and couldn't remember a single dream.

“You're early.”

“Am I?” She could be. Come to think of it, she hadn't paid much attention to the clock as she'd gathered up the phone and earbuds before leaving the house.

“Only by a few minutes. I'm glad you're here, though. I have something to say.” His dark gaze was resolute.

“Did you practice it? You look as if you practiced it.”

The corners of his mouth twitched as if he wanted to laugh but wouldn't let himself. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I did.”

“Then by all means, let's hear it.” She folded her arms and waited.

“Why the pigtails?”

“Is that part of your speech?”

“No, but I've never seen you in pigtails. I just wondered.”

“They're practical and they make a statement. Double duty.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I figured it was something like that. And I get it. I was treating you like a kid last night.”

“Well, not
all
the time.” Apparently she had a small urge to flirt, despite everything.

His determined expression changed subtly. His eyes became a shade darker as if he'd just recalled the adults-only part of their evening together. Glancing away, he cleared his throat. “In any case, my attitude left a lot to be desired.”

“Boy, howdy, did it ever.” She couldn't help grinning. “I can't speak for you, but I desired so much more on so many levels.”

“I didn't mean it like that.”

“Horizontal, vertical, perpendic—”

“I can see you're fully awake.”

“I'm sorry. Am I ruining your speech?”

“Pretty much. Maybe I should just say I'm sorry I treated you like a child and leave it at that.”

“No, no! I like the idea that you practiced a speech to give me when I showed up at this ungodly hour. Please go on.”

“By the way, why are you early? And where's your thermos and Spider-Man lunchbox?”

“I ate before I came over here.”

“I'll be damned. You're adjusting.”

“I seem to be. Now please give me the speech you practiced. I really want to hear it.”

He eyed her as if he'd prefer to forget the whole thing.

“Please.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “My response to you last night implied that I don't think you're capable of making your own decisions, running your own life, and accepting the consequences of your actions.”

“You did imply that.”

“But it's actually the opposite of what I think about you.”

“It is?” That startled her. She'd expected an excuse based on the same premise—something along the lines of how he was older, he'd been around more, and he knew better.

“I think you're extremely capable.”

“Except on the back of a horse.”

He waved that away. “You'll have that down in no time.” He took a step closer. “Vince said a few things last night that got me to thinking. And I realized that you're not only capable, Anastasia. You're brave as a lion.”

Her throat tightened. “Thank you.”

“The coward is me.”

Too stunned to speak, she just looked at him. She tried to remember if any man had ever admitted such a thing to her. Nope. That put Mac in a whole new category.

“You're beautiful and talented, and deep in my heart I have to ask why you'd be interested in an ordinary guy like me.”

She had so many answers for that. “Because—”

“That's okay. I wasn't asking you to stroke my ego.”

“But—”

“Seriously, I don't want you to answer the question. I'm just explaining why I've been such an asshole about everything. Sophie was . . . She had a great body and I was into great bodies at that stage in my life.” He hesitated. “I guess I still am, come to think of it.”

She held back a smile. He was being adorably serious and she didn't want him to think she found that amusing.

“Anyway, subconsciously I probably knew that Sophie and I had nothing in common besides sex, and the relationship was doomed from the get-go.”

Her stomach suddenly felt hollow. “Do you think that's all we have in common?”

“No. At least I hope not. But . . . the chemistry's strong.”

“Yes. I still think there's more than just sex there, though. We can talk, for one thing.”

He looked into her eyes. “Or we used to. It's not as easy now. And more is at stake. I'm working for your sister. My best friend is about to become your brother-in-law. If we become lovers and it doesn't work out, then it'll be awkward for everybody.”

She took a shaky breath. “I know all that. But it's not the main issue, is it?”

“No, not really. They'll do what they have to do. If I become a liability, they'll fire me. Vince won't want to, but his loyalty belongs to Georgie and Wild Horse Canyon Adventures, as it should. I'm expendable.”

“I disagree. You've become a lynchpin of the operation. I'm just the little sister who draws things, and I could do that anywhere. If push comes to shove, you should stay and I should leave.”

“No. You love it here.”

“So do you. You have a house. I don't. In some ways, you're more rooted here than I am.”

He smiled and shook his head. “Are you hearing this conversation? We haven't even decided whether to have an affair and we're already dividing up the assets. Doesn't that tell you that it's too risky?”

“It tells me that we're two responsible people who know that things don't happen in a vacuum.” She searched his expression. “But we haven't reached the bottom of this barrel of issues. I think I know what's down there, though. Or rather, who.”

“Yeah, so do I.” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced away.

She didn't blame him for wanting to abandon the subject. He'd put a lot of energy into convincing himself that he'd solved the problem created by Sophie. He'd sworn off marriage by declaring he wasn't good at it. That way he'd never again have to risk being emotionally vulnerable to a woman.

So he'd made do with shallow affairs that he probably ended rather than allowing another woman to dump him. But that wouldn't work with her. Their affair wouldn't be shallow, and if he ended it, he'd risk incurring the wrath of Georgie and Vince. Travis, too, come to think of it.

She presented a dilemma that he didn't know how to handle. Of the two of them, she was likely more resilient than he was. She couldn't imagine being the one to walk away if they became involved, but was she ready to promise she wouldn't? Not really. Not yet, anyway.

Maybe instead of him toying with her heart, she'd be toying with his. That put a new spin on things. What right did she have to insist he get involved with her, knowing what he was risking? No right at all.

He met her gaze and tension radiated from him. “Anastasia, I—”

“You know what? We should probably give the subject a rest.”

Relief flooded his expression. “Thank you.”

“I brought my phone and my earbuds. What do you say we test out your theory about music helping me ride a trot?”

“Good plan.”

“I'll get the lead rope and bring ol' Jasper out to the hitching post.”

“Are you okay with doing that by yourself? I need to check on Skeeter. The horses got new shoes yesterday and he seems to be favoring his right front hoof.”

“I can do it.” Her stomach did one little flip, but that was so much better than the day before, when it had been performing an entire gymnastics routine at the thought of taking Jasper out of his stall by herself.

When she approached his stall with the lead rope, he made a funny little neighing sound.

“I heard that!” Mac called out from the far end of the barn. “He's saying good morning to you.”

She was charmed. “Good morning to you, too, Jasper. Did you have a good night's sleep?” She couldn't resist a question just to get him to nod. Unfastening the stall door, she lowered her voice. “Am I in over my head with Mac?”

Jasper nodded again.

“Thought so.” She stepped into the stall and clipped the lead rope to the gelding's halter. “I'm going to concentrate on learning to ride you this morning and stop thinking about that gorgeous cowboy. If I'm not careful, I'm liable to create a real mess.”

Jasper gazed at her with his large brown eyes.

“I'll bet you've seen your share of crazy humans doing dumb things.” She walked him out of the stall. “I don't need to be adding to the confusion around here. We have a wedding coming up and a film crew will be here the weekend after that. I'm going to cool my jets.”

Jasper walked quietly along. Once he blew air through his nose, but she was used to that now. “You're an excellent listener, Jasper. That's a good quality in a friend, and that's what I think we are now, friends.”

She considered herself Mac's friend, too, and a friend wouldn't put an unnecessary burden on him or place him in a difficult position. He might be incredible to look at and even better to kiss, but if she caused him anxiety, that was bad.

With no clouds in the sky this morning, the sunrise was a different kind of beautiful, a deep glow of peach that gradually paled until it was the color of a strawberry shake. She and Jasper stood for a moment to admire it before she led him over to the hitching post and looped the lead rope around it. “I'll be right back.” She left him there and went to get the plastic tote full of grooming supplies.

Mac was already in the tack room reaching for it. He glanced over his shoulder. “It wasn't the new shoes bothering Skeeter.” Grabbing the tote from a shelf, he turned around. “He'd picked up a stone. I got it out and now he's . . .” He stood there looking at her as a smile tugged at his mouth.

“What?”

“Those pigtails. They make you look cuter than a border collie pup.”

“I think you just called me a dog.”

“No, I didn't. I compared you to a border collie pup, and if you'd ever seen one, you'd know it's a compliment.”

“I'm going to Google it and find out.” She pulled out her phone and in a few seconds she'd found several pictures of black-and-white puppies with floppy ears. “Awww.”

“Told you.” He came around behind her and peered over her shoulder. “They're great dogs. Really smart and easily bored so you have to give them plenty to do, and . . . damn, you smell good.”

She stood very still, her heart beating fast. His breath tickled the back of her neck. All she had to do was turn around and they'd be in each other's arms. “See, this is the problem.”

“I know.” He wasn't moving, either. “I thought I could just look at pictures on your phone, no big deal.”

“Here's an idea. Carry the tote outside. I'll be along in a minute.”

“All right.” He left.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Why did this have to be so complicated? She could partially solve the issue if she discontinued her riding lessons.

But thinking of that option filled her with sadness. She was making rapid progress and he was a great instructor who intuitively seemed to know how to work with her. In another few days she'd be ready to head out to see the Ghost. After all this, she wanted Mac to be with her when that happened.