Wild and Wanton (21 page)

‘The beginning?' Lindsay puzzled. ‘Propo—
oh
!'

He nodded.

Her heartbeat took on a most peculiar rhythm. Without saying a word, but doing a lot of swallowing to dissolve the tightness in her throat, she got up and crossed to where he was. She knelt on the floor and slid between
his
legs, resting her arms on his sturdy thighs.

His hand came out to tangle her hair, welcoming her. ‘The wrong one's kneeling,' he said gruffly.

‘A proposal? You were going to propose to me?' she said, getting her voice back.

‘Mmmm. I don't know why you sound so surprised.'

‘You don't? After the way you went off me like you did?'

‘Went off you? And just when was that supposed to be?'

‘The moment I blurted something out about marriage the other night, I knew I'd written my own exit lines, or I thought I had,' she said, a note of wonder entering her voice.

‘You jumped the gun,' Nick said firmly, if not very convincingly.

‘Come off it,' she scoffed gently. ‘Marriage was the last thing you had in mind. I was, or thought I was, just another conquest to you.'

‘I'm sure I would have come round to thinking about marriage,' Nick insisted in a low growl.

‘Okay,' she laughed. ‘I'll believe you.'

‘Will you also believe that I haven't had as many conquests as I've been credited with?'

Somberly she said, ‘I imagine that my brother accounted for a few of them.'

‘I'm sorrier than I can ever say that you had to know what Phil was up to.'

‘Me too. I sickened you when I took Phil's
side.
You thought I should have believed you.'

‘Yes, for a moment. That was very self-righteous of me. But . . . sickened me, you said? Do you mind telling me how you arrived at that conclusion?'

‘I do mind. It's painful. Do I have to?'

‘Yes, you do.'

She dropped her chin onto his knee. ‘I disappointed you. You said so. You thought I should have taken your word as the truth. I let you down by not having faith in you. I shouldn't have had to think about it; I should have
known
! You were so disgusted with me that you couldn't bring yourself to make love to me. And I couldn't blame you.'

‘Lindsay, look at me.'

She brought her chin up with painful slowness. ‘Is that what you really thought?'

‘What else could I think?'

‘You could have thought the truth. You didn't disgust me.'

‘But it was on your face. I saw it.'

He shook his head. ‘No, Lindsay. I've never thought you were anything but a woman of sheer delight. There's nothing about you that doesn't please me. The disgust you saw was leveled at myself. Did I really say that you disappointed me?'

‘Yes, quite definitely,' Lindsay affirmed.

‘I'll have to take your word for it. I must have spoken without thinking. What I should have said was that I was disappointed in
myself.
Except that that's too mild a word to cover how I felt, how I still feel. Are you going to make me tell you, or are you going to be very kind and let me off? I don't come out of this too well.'

‘Be fair! You wouldn't let
me
off. But in any case, you can't leave it there. You've got to tell me.'

‘That's what I was afraid of. It's a complete mix-up. To begin with I was jealous. Then I was ashamed of my jealousy and lack of understanding. That was followed by the self disgust I've just spoken of for my overbearing conceit in thinking that I, a comparative stranger, should have taken precedence over the brother you'd known and loved all your life. Of course your first loyalty had to be to Phil's memory. I should have admired you for it, not been jealous of it. But that's only the tip of the iceberg. Your words about having to earn the good things in life struck home. I wanted you, and I thought that was good enough reason to reach out and take you. Not just your body. I wanted the essence of you, your goodness and sweetness and unquestionable devotion and loyalty, without doing anything to earn them. It came to me that I was guilty of all the things I'd accused your brother of, because his crime had also been reaching out and taking what he wanted.'

‘And
that's
why you left?' Lindsay gasped in joy.

‘That's
why. I don't know how I managed it, or how you manage it, for that matter,' Nick choked out.

‘Manage what?'

‘Light a fire in me that I can't handle. I can't handle talking about it with you so near and desirable.'

She'd been sitting on the backs of her legs; now she strained forward, reaching high enough to brush close to him in a way that made her breasts a magnet for his fingers. As the tips of them glanced over the hard peaks pressing against the bodice of her dress, he said roughly, ‘There's more. Don't you want to hear it?'

‘Not particularly. I reckon I've heard all I want to know.' She was so happy that she felt light-headed—and mischievous. ‘Talking's overrated. I know something better we could be doing,' she said, her fingers taking a walk of their own.

Nick groaned and grabbed hold of her hand. ‘You can stop those . . . those . . .' He was searching for the right words, and brought out in triumph, ‘wild and wanton tricks. And hear me out. I made up my mind to prove to you that I don't want the fleeting pleasure you dismissed in such derogatory terms. Sure, I wanted to make love to you, not just that night, but every night for the rest of my life and any other time that I get the chance. I wanted—
want
—the lasting happiness you
spoke
of. You're the best and most worthwhile thing that's ever happened to me, and I knew that I had to start doing something to deserve you. It wasn't something I could bully you into; I had to earn your devotion and eternal love. I'm not going to rush you. That's why I'm not making any business appointments and why I'm canceling the existing ones. I want to give all my time to you in an all-out bid to get you. I'm going to woo you with flowers and all the other romantic trimmings that a woman sets store by.' His voice thickened. ‘I love you so much!'

Lindsay's throat was tight. ‘Nick, darling, you proved that when you came hurtling to my rescue. You could come weighed down with flowers and chocolates and gifts galore, but you wouldn't look as good to me as you did when I saw your face through that windshield.'

‘You mean you're not going to make me prove myself?'

She pressed herself closer to him, delighting in his arousal and the awesome sense of power that flooded through her. Her eyes danced up to his face, eager to soak up every facet of his expression.

‘Don't go getting any wrong ideas.
You bet
I'm going to make you prove yourself! You said you walked out on me for a different reason than the one I thought. You say you still fancy me.'

‘I do,' Nick declared fervently.

Enjoying
herself, warming to the theme, Lindsay then asked, ‘And do you desire me to distraction?'

‘Oh, yes!'

‘And do you want to make wild, passionate love to me?'

‘Yes, yes, yes, you wanton, adorable, delightful, delicious woman!'

He had her drift.

‘So what are you waiting for? Prove it!' she demanded.

‘My pleasure!' he said, his laughter drowning hers as he swept her into his arms.