Wild Card (44 page)

Maybe passing them to the Confederation had just avoided responsibility for killing them. I wasn’t happy with that either.

He was watching me closely. Time to get on the front foot.

“What I came down here for was to find out a bit more about you. How a Were ends up solo, and with such an interesting marque.”

He grinned. “Yeah, I understand it’s something special, isn’t it?” Something shimmered in his marque, quickly hidden. I couldn’t put my finger on what made his marque so unusual. The scent was lighter than the Denver pack, but that wasn’t it. The telergic part, the eukori, didn’t give me an image like Alex, or Felix for that matter. Gray’s was like his name, gray. It was closed, as if it hid something. I wondered what his wolf looked like.

“And talking of unusual,” he jabbed his fork at me. “Can’t recall ever coming across an Athanate-Were-Adept before.”

The casual way he said it hit me. The Were and Athanate knew I was a hybrid, but only Adepts had been able to see that I had a claim to be Adept as well. And here he was, talking as if it were only slightly out of the ordinary.

“I don’t think that’s relevant at the moment,” I said.

He tilted his head. “Yeah, maybe not. On either side. We need to concentrate on the Matlal Athanate and the rogue.”

“For now.” I was not letting him off the hook, but he had a point.

He finished his brunch and pushed the plate aside.

“What about the Athanate we find?” he asked. “You going to kill them all?”

“That’s Bian’s decision.”

“That’s avoiding responsibility.”

It stung. I hadn’t been happy with this at all, but who the hell was he to point it out to me? Anger sparked like a faulty engine. The strongbox creaked and I shuddered as I pushed it closed. I couldn’t afford to lose it here.

His dark eyes were on me, and I felt they missed nothing of my inner struggle, but his face stayed expressionless.

“What if there are one or two who’re trying to get away from Basilikos? Is it just easier to kill them all?” He wasn’t going to put this aside.

“It’s not a matter of being easy.”

Images of Larry surfaced. He’d been part of House Romero and compelled to work with Matlal. And he’d saved my life at the cost of his own. How would I have felt if he’d been grouped together with the rest of them?

“So you’d contemplate judging it on an individual basis?”

“Yes. No! I can’t make that decision. I have to defer to Altau.” I couldn’t afford to piss off Bian the way I’d managed with Naryn.

“Defer to Bian?” Gray asked.

“Yes. Look,” I said, “you’re a bounty hunter, why are you concerned with this?”

He ignored that. “What would you and Bian judge to deserve death?”

“If they’ve gone rogue,” I said. “If they’re actively working against Altau. Harming innocent bystanders. Feeding on their toru.”

“Or marai,” he said quietly. “True Basilikos make no distinction between the toru they keep as Blood slaves, and the marai, the rest of the population.”

I acknowledged the point. “Why are you so concerned?” I asked him again.

“Because I’m not a bounty hunter in the way Verano is. I find paranormals, I even kill them sometimes, but I don’t enjoy it. For those I don’t kill, I care what happens to them afterwards. Like you do.”

The waitress came and refilled our coffee.

Did he know something about Larry? I hadn’t told anyone, had I?

“Tell me,” he said.

I wanted to. I wanted someone else to know what Larry had done and how he’d died. To stand witness with me. To share the weight of the memory.

What the hell?

I dug my heels in. I’d explain it to Diana, along with everything else. Not to the first apparently sympathetic ear that came along.

I cleared my throat. “Which leaves us the rogue.”

He raised his eyebrows. He’d been expecting me to talk. “Which leaves us with the rogue,” he echoed.

There was something about the way he said the word rogue. “You have something to say about that too?”

“Not a werewolf. Or not just a werewolf.” He ran a hand over his face. “I can feel him out there, and whatever he is doesn’t feel like any other Were I’ve come across.”

I leaned over the table.

“Not just a werewolf, eh? Who does that make me think of? Tell me, Mr. Gray, what are you and exactly how are you doing your searches?”

“You’ll tell me what you were thinking of when we spoke about Basilikos Athanate. I’ll tell you how I work. We’ll both keep each other’s secret.”

His voice was flat, uninflected. He hadn’t asked a question, he’d simply stated the terms.

Why should I trust him? My gut said I already did. Why? Was he messing with my head?

My cell buzzed. Altau’s switchboard.

 Naryn. At the worst possible moment.

“I gotta take this outside,” I said. “Don’t go.”

I walked out.

“Yes?”

“It’s me, not Naryn chasing you.”

“Hi, Bian. That’s a relief. Sort of.”

She laughed.

“It must be your lucky day, but only today. Skylur’s still in LA, but the exchange of prisoners with Basilikos had to go ahead, so Naryn’s in New York and he won’t be back until tomorrow. He wants you here at 4 p.m.”

“This is lucky?”

“He gets more time to calm down, and Skylur might be back.”

“Okay, lucky. Have you got time for me to check a few things with you?”

There were noises in the background that got cut off as Bian closed a door.

“Go ahead.”

“Athanate in Denver: All the Houses that were here for the Assembly have gone, and all Altau are out at Haven?”

“Yes to both.”

“Then in Denver itself, there’s me, David and Pia, and possibly some Matlal Athanate.”

“As far as I know. What’s up?”

“Y’know, Adepts say they can sense Athanate?”

“Yeah, but not the likes of little chicks like you and me.”

“Skylur, Diana, maybe Naryn?”

“Yeah. All three.”

“None of the Matlal Athanate are close to that, are they? Alice Emerson would have told you if they were, and you wouldn’t have me chasing them.”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Gray’s implying he can sense the rogue. He’s not getting it mixed up with some major league Athanate, so I’ve got to assume there’s something to it. What the freaking hell is he? And what is he sensing?”

There was a silence from the other end.

“I don’t know, Round-eye. As far as the Dakota House is concerned, he’s a Were. I’ll ask Alice if there’s some Adept ritual he could have picked up that would help him sense marques remotely. Alice can’t pick them out at any great distance, or we’d use that somehow. Hold on.” I could hear her speak to someone else in Athanate. She seemed as busy as ever—of course with Naryn and Skylur gone, she’d be running the show at Haven. “Sorry, I should have done a bit more checking before taking him on. Is there a specific problem?”

“I don’t know. Not on the rogue maybe. On the Matlal Athanate, he’s saying that we should take them as individual cases, and maybe not kill all of them.”

“I understand the point, Amber, but we don’t have the resources.”

I didn’t like that. It didn’t seem right. But this wasn’t the time to lose friends at Haven. I kept quiet.

“Gotta go. Talk later,” she said.

“Bye.”

Back in the café, the table was empty. There was a slip of paper under my coffee mug with ‘talk tomorrow’ scrawled on it.

“Your boyfriend’s gone,” the waitress said sympathetically. “Did pay the bill though. Puts you way ahead of me, hon.”

“Hello?” Mary answered her cell cautiously. I was still using different cells to call people. I had no idea what resources the Nagas and the Matlal Athanate might have, but I didn’t want any chance of them chasing me down through my cell calls.

“Mary, hi, it’s Amber. I have a question.”

“Only one?” she said and laughed. “Go on.”

“When we met at the Café Vienne, a couple of weeks ago, you remember you spoke about sensing other users of the energy in Denver. You said it was like people on a trampoline, you can feel big users.”

“Yeah, yeah. Not a very good image, but it’ll do.”

“You can tell the difference between types?”

“Between Adepts and others. Where are you going with this?”

“Can you still feel the other types in Denver?”

“Yes, from time to time. Less than when we spoke.”

“What if they’re outside of Denver?”

“I only sense up to five miles or so. Why?”

“Mary, there are no major league Athanate in Denver at the moment. If you’re sensing something now, you know it’s not Adept and we know it’s not Athanate. Where does that leave us?”

Her voice was slow and thoughtful. “A Were who’s got beyond just using the energy intuitively.” She paused. “Is this anything to do with the person who broke into your car?”

“Yes.”

“What’s going on, Amber?”

All the paranormal communities were trying to hide their secrets from each other. I was sick of it and beyond being tactful.

“There’s a rogue Were in Denver. Been here a while. The Were are trying to tell me it isn’t Were. Athanate say it can’t be Athanate. I’m sure you’ll tell me it can’t be an Adept. All I have is a growing body count, and a guy who says he’s a Were
and
that he can sense the rogue.”

“Oh.”

I could almost hear the wheels turning.

“We’ll need to talk about this, Mary. I gotta ask this guy a few more questions first. When I can find him again.”

I ended the call. I had to go. I was late again.

Chapter 45

Doc Noble was waiting outside Alex’s house for our first session.

I’d refused a list of other places. I didn’t want to go to his office. That felt a little too much like I was admitting I was crazy. And I really didn’t want anyone else in Manassah. I couldn’t say why I got such a reaction from the thought. I was happy for Bian to visit, and Tullah, and Olivia. I hadn’t had much of a problem with Ricky. I just didn’t want any more of the Denver pack there.

What did that say about me and the pack?

He’d been insistent on meeting, even with everything else going on. If it were purely down to keeping me sane while the hunt went on, maybe I’d have refused. But the rogue was a Were. I needed to understand the Were to make sure no clue slipped by me.

And on the pack side, maybe I’d get more insight into why I was such a problem for them—not just the issue with Felix and being alpha, but the territoriality and everything that went with it.

Doc was pacing in front of the door and talking on his cell. A frown creased his forehead, but he was talking calmly and firmly. A telephone consultation, maybe. He waved me on and held up his free hand with fingers outstretched. Five minutes I guessed. Or some Trekky greeting I hadn’t caught up on.

I went in and made coffee. Mistake. When he bustled in, he practically tore it from my hands.

“No; it’s a stimulant.”

“But it’s one of my major food groups.”

“Heat it up afterwards,” he said.

I felt the wolf growl inside me. Noble felt it too, and it made him pause.

“Sorry,” I muttered and pushed it all back down.

He recovered and took the cup back to the kitchen. I turned on my heel and went to the living room.

We sat in recliners opposite each other. There was a sofa, but I wasn’t going to lie down and he didn’t insist. He did get me to tilt mine back while he sat upright, scribbling in his notebook.

“This is a session purely to form a basis for progressing,” he said. “I don’t want to get into anything stressful or private, but I don’t know what might constitute that for you, so please keep directing me. I will ask only general questions about how you feel about being Athanate and Were. In turn, ask me questions about the pack or what it means to be a Were and I will answer as fully as I can. I shall not attempt to hypnotize you, but I will from time to time suggest relaxation. Maybe we should start there. Tell me the things you have done to relax.”

I cringed and we were away. Once I had persuaded him I was relaxed, I was allowed to ask a question. Just as he was trying to get me to open up, I was trying it with him, so the first one had to be something he was expecting. And it was vital to me.

“So how do you control changing to wolf?”        

“The first few times, you’ll find it frightening. Like the wolf is clawing to get out. The wolf is scared as well, so you emerge into wolf form in an excited state. This is where having the pack around you helps. You will sense them—”

“Like the Call?”

“Exactly. The Call will calm you, bring you into the pack gently. Then, when you’re accustomed to changing, and don’t need the pack so much, you’ll find a little mental routine that works for you. Many of the pack close their eyes and imagine their wolves running. Then they imagine flying behind them, closer and closer. They describe it as similar to a water slide, a falling sensation, then the sharp level out and suddenly shooting forward, into the wolf.”

“That’s it?”

“Unless you fight against the change. Then, it’s back to the wolf tearing its way out.”

“And what about getting back to human?”

“Again, the first few times you may panic and it’s as if the human is tearing itself out of the wolf. You’ll get over this. The common little mental trick a lot of the pack use is to imagine standing and stretching up. It becomes that easy.”

“What if the pack aren’t around to help when you change? You must have had that experience.”

I could hear him stir uncomfortably in his chair and there was a pause before he answered. “Personally, I had a black-out, probably brought on by the stress and fear. You will at least know what is happening, so that may not apply.”

“Okay, so make sure I’m away from people if I get into that situation.”

“Hmm.”

“Does anyone ever become locked in the wolf? Go wild?”

“Yes. I speculate that it is voluntary. That they simply do not wish to return. But it would be a little difficult to get answers at that stage.”

I snorted. “Any from the Denver pack?”

“Not to my knowledge.”