Wild Chase (33 page)

Biting at his bottom lip and shaking his head, Jesse barks, “YOU SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME WHO SHE WAS! I never would have touched her if I had known she was Chase—
your
Chase. You are such an idiot for not going back to her, for even leaving her in the first place.”

“You know I stayed because I owed it to you guys to get us somewhere better than my damn garage and countless bars! Kennedy deserved more. Adam deserved more. You and your mother deserved more than that shit, and you know it, Jesse! We were all struggling and I couldn’t sit back and just watch. I made a choice. I gave up a cushy office job… and the girl of my dreams, but I did it for reasons that I thought were right at the time. I busted my ass to get us here… and to do it, I gave up…” he says, almost breathless by the end of it.

“You didn’t have to do it all, Avery! We were all perfectly happy just drinking beer and playing together on the weekends. No one asked you to play superman and turn us into rock stars, all right, so don’t go trying to play Daddy to us all now,” Jesse scoffs.

Gaping at his band mate, Avery throws his hands up.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Jess? Your mom couldn’t afford the rent and car payments anymore and you both were struggling between four different jobs just to survive. You were about to pawn off your fucking bass just to make rent! I couldn’t stand by and watch you and her struggle anymore. I watched it my whole life, Jesse. I might have been a kid but I wasn’t blind. I had to do right by all of you; besides, I had nothing to offer her! She was eighteen years old with her whole life ahead of her. I couldn’t offer her a what-if. It wasn’t good enough! We were all at the bottom of a pit with nowhere to go. I did what I thought was right, then and now,” he states, his voice straining and cracking under the weight of the truth.

“And was it right to lead on Olivia the way you did?” Jesse says bitingly.

Avery closes his eyes and lets out a long breath.

“Was. The way I was leading her on. I ended it today. But no, what I did to Olivia was wrong and that’s another mistake I’ll have to live with for the rest of my life. I never loved her the way I love Chase, and believe me, I tried. Her father threatened to drop us if he thought I was just using his daughter. I thought maybe I could learn to love her. I’m sorry; I just couldn’t fake it anymore. Especially after seeing Chase again.”

The dark haired bassist stands still, breathing raggedly as he stares at his best friend for a few silent moments. Running a hand down his face, he closes his eyes and shakes his head.

“We all knew you weren’t in love with Olivia. I should have known it was something else keeping you with her. Dammit, Avery, why do always have to do that? Huh? Play the superhero card? Not a single one of us expects you to carry us through life you know. All you had to do was fucking say something. I’m your best friend, for god’s sake! And Olivia was a raging bitch. She’s the reason behind our record being tossed out twice. Did you know that? Your psycho ex-girlfriend just confessed to fucking with our careers. Granted, she says it was to get back at me for some ridiculous bullshit, but she was using you all along, too. You went through all of that for nothing, Ave. You could have saved yourself a ton of self-loathing if you’d just opened your damn mouth sooner.”

Reaching an arm out, Jesse lets it fall when no more words come out.

Trying to process the fact that he actually stayed with that insane girl for two years. Avery lets out another sigh through his nose. He cradles his jaw as he gazes back at his childhood friend.

“I’m sorry, Jess. About everything. I never meant to hurt you. You’re my brother, and I should have been honest about everything. I just didn’t think… I didn’t mean to lie to you guys. When she unloaded four years’ worth of could-have-been’s and told me that she loved me, it just clicked that she was worth the risk all along. You guys are my family, but Chase is my reason for breathing; you don’t walk away from that twice.”

Jesse shakes his head and sits down on the nearest couch, burying his face in his hands.

“Dammit, Avery. I was falling for her,” he confesses, barely above a whisper.

I let go of the pillow I’ve been clutching when I hear a light rapping at my bedroom door. I sit up and wipe my face, making sure that there are no more tears as I turn the knob. Avery stands there, tilting his head sideways at me with a very small smile.

“Hey,” he says softly.

I step aside, “Hey,” I say gently. He steps into my room and I shut the door behind him.

He stops a few paces in and looks around. Suddenly, his smile is slightly bigger as he turns to me.

“Now this is definitely more like you,” he states, motioning at the bedroom. I can’t help but smile back at him and nod.
Yeah, this is definitely more me
, I think to myself, remembering the white walls that used to surround me.

Avery sighs as he sits down on my bed, pushing his hair back to reveal a purple mark materializing just below his eye. I rush over, gently taking his face into my hand, and tilt his head to the side. He winces, confirming my suspicions. I frown, but he doesn’t say anything, so neither do I.

The silent exchange only makes my guilt grow.

“I had no idea that Olivia would come over here and do what she did,” he says finally after a few moments.

I exhale slowly and sit down next to him.

“She’s crazy. There’s no way you could have known what she was thinking. I’m not sure she even knew what she was doing; it was a mess,” I say, slowly finding his hand and squeezing it tightly.

He turns to me with a grim face, “I’m sorry, Chase.”

“You don’t need to be sorry about her. She’s gone, and good riddance. I could have choked her. I feel awful though, Jesse didn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve any of it. I should have never let myself lead him on. I knew exactly how I felt about you, I knew it would end up causing a mess and I did it anyway. God, I am such a,” but Avery puts a hand over my mouth to stop my rambling.

“Shh. I meant that I’m sorry to you. I didn’t just screw over my best friend, I lied to everyone. I made mistake after mistake and just kept rolling with it. You got just as caught up in this as they did, and you’re the last person I would ever want to hurt.”

I look up into his eyes and I can see them begin to fill with tears. My chest tightens as my own start to burn. As if to break my heart, a tear rolls down his beautiful, bruised cheek.

I stifle a sob as he tightens his grip on my hand, his other one gently pulling me in closer by my neck.

“I tried so hard to control everything, and all I did was lie to myself and make things worse. I’ve loved you since the moment I watched you on that stage, Chase. I didn’t understand it, and I didn’t make the right choices. I should have told you every single chance I had exactly how I felt about you. You should have known that I couldn’t sleep without seeing your face, or go a day without wanting to kiss you. God, I could hear your voice everywhere. You never left me. Maybe if I had just been honest with myself then I wouldn’t have caused all of this,” he whispers, stroking my damp cheek with his thumb as another tear spills down his face.

I place my hand over his and turn my face to kiss his palm before leaning my cheek back into his touch.

“I played my part, too, Avery. I won’t let you carry the burden on your own. A part of me knew exactly how I felt about you, but I just couldn’t say it. Not while you were with Olivia. I’m sorry I wasn’t honest, either,” I say, and then add, “Jesse is your best friend, I know he will forgive you, and so will the other guys.”

He nods slightly. I lean in and place a tender kiss against his forehead.

We sit like that for a while, just holding each other and letting our tears fall; comforting each other in the only way we know how, not letting the other go no matter what. A sudden calm takes over me that I haven’t felt in years. I’m finally back where I belong. The ride getting here was lonely, and it wasn’t pretty, and though we have a lot to repent for, nothing can take away how it feels to be back in his arms.

Back home.

I wipe my face, breathing in a peaceful breath, and place his hand over my heart, clasping it there with both of mine. I’m not eighteen anymore and I just watched the love of my life pour his heart out. It’s time I do the same. My lips slip into a tiny smile as I look at his face.

Avery looks into my eyes and his lips curve up ever so slightly too.

“I never told you either, but I fell in love with you the moment you held me beside that water fountain. You weren’t the only one lying to yourself. That old, white bedroom in Texas was never my home. This decorated room here, this isn’t my home either.”

I lean in slowly and press an adoring kiss to his lips.

Pulling back a couple inches, my eyes flutter open, staring right into those incredible gray eyes.

“You are my home, Avery. You always have been.”

Avery kisses, stealing every ounce of air from my lungs, ruining me in a way that only he can. We take our time, savoring the moment we have both been waiting so long for. Slowly and tenderly, our lips erase the chaos surrounding how we got here, our time apart becoming a distant memory with each revering touch. Each caress is a mark on our hearts that we will never forget as we lose ourselves in the most intense kiss—one for the history books.

Afterward, we sit back on my bed and I curl up against him. He pulls me in as close as he can. I rest my head against his chest and listen to the gentle beating of his heart.

I think we both know that tomorrow will bring a whole other book of issues—like confused band mates, tabloid stories and lies, a strained friendship, the introduction of the new Vengeful Honor, and more awkward moments than we care to imagine; but tonight is ours.

Tonight, we finally get to be that girl and that boy that met four years ago.

Right here, there are no more secrets and no more hurt feelings. Right now, there are no life changing decisions to be made and no more hearts to be broken.

Just a boy and a girl who never stopped loving each other.

I tap my fingertips against his chest, playing along to the rhythm of his heart as he runs his fingers through my hair; even through the exhaustion, the butterflies don’t seem to rest as I start to drift off to sleep.

Four years of trying to forget him; four years of trying to convince myself that I didn’t love him. And all I can think about as I feel him kiss the top of my head as I drift off to sleep is that I would wait a million more years if it meant I could lay here just like this for the rest of my days.

“Where is she?” I mutter to myself as I scan the area for her, trying to catch my breath as I begin to dodge the stage crew as they are breaking down the equipment from the show.

Perspiration starts to roll down the side of my neck and I stop to wipe it away. Tonight’s show was insane. We performed at a benefit concert that Vengeful Honor has headlined once before— one that I completely forgot about with everything that had gone on last week.

It hardly seems possible that it was just seven damn days ago that a bomb went off and smashed our little world to pieces—because of this guy right here. I want to say that things are back to normal, but I’d be lying—and I’m not doing any of that shit anymore.

Ever.

Kennedy and Adam were the most forgiving, although Adam still seems lost by the whole thing. I told him I’d make him a coloring book of it someday.

Jess on the other hand… our vibes on stage tonight say it all. He’s closed himself off and I don’t blame him at all. Since he’s barely spoke a word to anyone of us, I’d say that’s not about to change any time soon.

That’s not even taking into consideration the news story that Olivia just sold to about three different tabloids about all of the drama.

Just the thought of her infiltrates my brain and turns my blood to ice. I unclench my fists and count to ten, letting out a long, deep breath and all the bullshit with it.

I turn around and scan the stage again, and as someone pushes Adam’s drum kit back, I finally get a view of my girl.