Wild Embrace (16 page)

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Authors: Nalini Singh

BOOK: Wild Embrace
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“I'm stubborn, Felix.” Her voice held the edge of a growl. “Tell me what I did to offend you.”

He knew he was tangling with a stronger predator, his wolf clawing at him to back off, but he couldn't. Not today. “I want to go for a walk. Do I need to ask your permission?”

Flinching, she unfolded her arms. “Fine.” She stalked past him, back toward the party. “Do what you want.”

Fuck.
He stared after her, knowing he should let her go. “Dezi.” If she didn't stop, he couldn't make her. That was the thing. He couldn't ever make her do anything she didn't want to do, would always have to trust that she'd never break his faith if they . . .

She stopped, turned on her heel. “Yes?”

Shoulders tight at the edgy response, he looked at the ground, back at her. “You can come with, if you want.”

A glare, but she fell in beside him again, and they walked in silence all the way to the stream. Sunset was fading into evening by the time they arrived to take a seat on a fallen log beside the water; Felix's vision had adapted automatically to the fading light and he knew hers would've done the same.

Hand fisting and unfisting by his side, he finally blurted it out. “Are you going home with him?”

“Who?” She angled her body slightly toward him. “Barker?” It was an incredulous question.

Felix stared out at the trees on the other side of the stream, his skin flushing from the force of her gaze. “Why do you sound like that? He's a strong dominant. The females in my pack find him very attractive.”

“We trained together,” Desiree said dryly. “I've put him flat on his back in a fight multiple times—that doesn't make me want to jump his bones.”

He was the one who flinched this time. Because should it ever come to a physical fight between the two of them, Desiree would eviscerate him. He didn't have the killer instinct of a dominant, didn't want it.

Groaning, she leaned her head against his shoulder. “Why do I always say the wrong things around you?”

It startled him, the uncertainty in her tone. Chancing a glance at her, the weight of her head against his shoulder something that gave him pleasure, he said, “I don't know what to say to you, either.”

“That's not true.” Her braids moved against him as she shook her head. “We have perfectly great conversations when other people are around.”

She was right. He now knew that she loved climbing, that her mom was overprotective and made her check in after a night shift even though she'd moved out years ago, and that, same as him, she had a younger sister she adored. “I like talking to you,” he admitted.

It was worth the admission of vulnerability to see her lips curve in
that
smile, the dazzling one she hadn't given him for a week. “Ditto.” A frown and she shifted to straddle the fallen trunk so she was facing his profile. “What if we're wrong, Felix?”

He hated losing her touch, even if it had only been through his shirt. “What?”

“Us.” The single word fell between them, bringing silence in its wake. “We're both just assuming we can't make it—what if we could?”

Felix forced himself to breathe. “Your cat—”

“Wants to bite you, lick you, claw you a little.” Her voice dropped. “Just enough for it to feel good.”

His body pounded, his blood hot. Digging his nails into the palm of his hand, he made himself say it. “Skin privileges aren't enough.”

“They're a start.” Shifting closer, she still didn't touch him. “Don't you think if you're getting grumpy about me being near another man, you should reassess your friends-only rule?”

He swallowed, considered how he'd feel if she did go home with another man. His wolf raged, clawing and slashing inside his mind. And he knew he was about to make what could well be the biggest mistake of his life. “Okay,” he said, even as another part of him screamed that he was being a stupid goddamned idiot a second time around.

Only this time, it was worse. He'd been a pup when Carisma tore him up. He was a full-grown man now, his emotions mature. If he did this with Desiree and it all went wrong, then he wasn't sure he'd have it in him to ever again take a risk on a woman.

Chapter 4

Desiree froze, not
sure she'd heard Felix right. “Okay?” She shifted another inch closer to him. “Baby, you have to be crystal clear. I won't touch you otherwise.” She couldn't—
wouldn't
—risk even the whisper of coercion. “You hold the reins here.”

His breath hitched, one of his hands locked around the wrist of the other where he sat with his arms braced on his knees. “Not just friends,” he said, quiet but resolute. “I want skin privileges.”

“Intimate?” She pushed because she had to be sure.

A nod.

Shuddering, she shifted close enough that the front of her body pressed against the side of his. “You have no idea how hard it's been to keep my distance this past week,” she whispered, wrenching back her instinct to take, to brand; first she had to coax him to her. “I dream of you.” She raised one hand to gently trace the line of his jaw, felt heat burn under his skin.

Not all submissives were shy, but her submissive was. Desiree had never thought she'd find that hot, but oh, she did. She wanted to seduce him until he smiled that gorgeous smile at her, the one that melted her knees and stole her breath, wanted to coax him until he stopped being so stiff and wary and turned to her in total trust.

That, however, would take time. She was asking his wolf to trust
a predator with far bigger teeth, asking him to fight his primal instinct to get the hell away. Forcing her leopard into patience, she continued to stroke the line of his jaw, loving being able to touch him. His skin was rough with stubble, the abrasive texture delicious.

Caress by gentle caress, she coaxed him, her body a wall around his own but one that didn't trap. When he did finally relax, turning his face a fraction into her caresses, she felt like purring. Instead, she petted him some more, saw his hand ease its grip on his other wrist, saw the blood rush back into his abused skin. Unable to totally resist temptation, she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his jaw.

The masculine heat of him burned into her, his physical strength gloriously apparent in the flex of his body as he turned enough that it was an invitation. Heart slamming against her ribs, she cupped the side of his face and drew him into a slow, sweet kiss. He tasted so good, felt good, smelled good. She wanted to devour her gorgeous Felix piece by piece.

Coax, be gentle, seduce,
she reminded herself.
Slow, slow, slow.

His arm came around her at last and she was startled to feel his hand close gently over her nape. It was a possessive hold she'd have expected from a dominant, but then again, she'd never dated a submissive.

Leopard unworried by it because it knew it could escape the tie at any time, it brushed against the inside of Desiree's skin, intent on sinning blissfully with her wolf. He tasted of a lick of beer, but underneath the bitterness of hops was a taste that was pure, healthy male. Pure Felix. She tried to shift closer, was stopped by the way they were seated, his upper body twisted to meet her kiss.

Placing her hand on his throat, she—

He wasn't there any longer, having jerked away to the other side of the trunk. Reeling, she tried to think what she'd done, but her mind was too scrambled, her breasts swollen and aching. She shifted
off the trunk to go to the stream, kneel down, and throw some cold water on her face. The shock of it made her cat bristle, snapped her mind awake. “I touched your throat.”

Felix, his own breathing not exactly even, said, “It's a sensitive area.”

Desiree wanted to slap herself. That was a sensitive area in leopard culture, too, but doubly so in wolf. She went to apologize, found her leopard against it. Closing her mouth, she tried to unravel the animal's thinking. “Want to try again?” she asked, facing Felix.

His eyes widened before a slow smile dawned on his lips. “Not turned off yet?”

Desiree realized she truly wasn't. It was fun seducing him—her leopard really, really liked playing with Felix. “Not even close.” Prowling closer in slow movements that didn't threaten, she knelt in front of him, her hands on his knees. “You'll have to bend closer.” He was several inches taller than her, and seated on the trunk as he was, it put him even higher.

Lips still holding the edge of a smile, he dipped his head toward her. This time, she kept her hands on his knees as she seduced him with her mouth. His own was firm, mobile, delicious. When she bit down a little to test how he'd react, he shuddered.

Okay, then, she thought with an inward grin, her wolf wasn't against biting.

Pricking him gently with her claws through his jeans, she licked over the sensual hurt . . . and he put a careful hand on the back of her neck again, sliding beneath her braids. It was asking for permission but it was also possessive. She liked it. Purring in her throat, she let him know she didn't take it as a threat and his hand curved firmly around her nape, skin to skin.

His breath ragged, he said, “I can feel your purr.”

“Imagine what it'll be like when we're both naked.”

Red on his cheeks. It made her want to pounce on him. God, he was
adorable
. In a hotly sexy way, all big shoulders and gentle hands. She couldn't resist kissing him some more, the feel of his muscles going taut under her lightly stroking fingers seducing her in turn. She'd always thought she liked it hard and fast and a little rough, with a partner who fought her for control, but there was
definitely
nothing wrong with coaxing a wolf to play with her. Not at all.

Breasts aching, she shifted a little farther between his legs . . . and immediately felt his thrumming awareness. Careful, she warned herself, careful, careful. Staying otherwise motionless, she used her mouth to pet him until some of the renewed tension leached out of his body. Then, and much as she wanted to take this all the way, claim full sexual skin privileges, she eased back.

Those skin privileges would take time and intense trust on Felix's part.

In bed, he'd be more vulnerable than he'd ever before been, reliant on her word that she wouldn't use her dominance to force compliance. It was something she'd never before considered, and it made her realize just how much courage it took to be a submissive in a predatory changeling pack, how much heart.

Nuzzling the side of his face as he stroked his hand over her nape, she said, “Want to shift and go running together?”

•   •   •

Felix's
wolf adored running with Desiree. He was bigger than her as a wolf, but she was so sleek and fast that when they raced, it was an even competition. He even beat her a few times, and she pretended to sulk. It made his wolf bare its canines in a laugh, but only when she wasn't looking—the animal wasn't yet sure she wouldn't take the sight as a challenge. A physical fight between them could have only one ending.

He might be bigger, might even be stronger, but he wasn't a predator. Not in that way. Desiree was built to protect those she called her own, built to fight claw and tooth, built with the ruthless ability to take down anyone in her path. Without her ferocity and that of the other dominants, her pack would be easy prey for their enemies.

The two of them ran across the mountains of the Sierra Nevada and he showed her places she hadn't known existed, for this was wolf land, Felix's backyard. When the moon came up, they sat on an outlook and watched it spotlight the world. He was sorry when they had to return because it was time for Desiree to do her security rotation, but as they shifted back into human form and dressed with their backs to one another in an unspoken courtesy, he was happy. And terrified.

Whatever he'd felt as a naive eighteen-year-old, it had been a pale shadow of the emotion now growing inside him. He'd been a boy then. Young and fragile hearted and eager as a puppy. With maturity had come knowledge about himself, as well as an increasing depth of feeling. He no longer bounded like a puppy, had learned to shield himself against hurt, but the way Desiree touched him, the way she treated him . . . it made the puppy want to come out of hiding. Made him want to rub his cheek against her, let her nuzzle at his throat, trust her.

Shivering at the idea of her lush, persuasive mouth on his throat, he'd buttoned his buff-colored shirt halfway when she prowled around to face him, her walk lazily feline. “Let me,” she said and took over the task. “You are so built.”

He blushed, as he seemed to be doing permanently around her. “What I do, the work, it's physical.”

She petted her hands over his chest after finishing with the buttons. “Oh, I know. I watch your butt when you bend over to haul those big seedling pots around.”

Skin heating even further, Felix dared narrow his eyes, though he could only hold hers for a split second. “Stop teasing me.”

A husky chuckle. “But it's so much fun.” Petting hands on his chest again. “I love how you blush. Makes me want to bite you.”

His cock grew hard between his legs once more. “I think you need to get bitten,” he muttered, his wolf peeking out from between its paws to see if he'd offended her.

Desiree threw back her head and laughed, the sound wildfire around his senses. “Dare you,” she said afterward, green eyes sparkling.

Felix almost did it, almost trusted her to purr rather than strike out at him, but it was too soon. His wolf froze and so did the man. Sliding her hand into his, Desiree squeezed. “Offer's open. Anytime you want.”

•   •   •

Felix
couldn't stop thinking of Desiree's words, her voice, her scent as he got to work the next morning. She'd kept his hand in hers as they walked back to the others, making her claim on him clear. As a result, he'd been on the receiving end of more than a few winks and wolf whistles since then. It was all good-natured and he managed to hold his own, shooting back a few one-liners himself. That is, until Hawke appeared and angled his head toward the trees in a silent order.

Rising at once, Felix walked to join his alpha in the privacy of the forest. “Is something wrong?”

Hair of silver-gold glittering in the sunlight lancing through the canopy, Hawke said, “I heard Desiree made a move on you.”

Pulse thumping, Felix nodded.

“Are you fine with that?” It was a blunt question. “I know the more dominant leopard females can come on strong—with interpack
dating still new, they don't always read our cues well. If you found it difficult to say no to her, tell me now.”

Felix flushed. “No, it was . . . I wanted it, want her.”

Hawke reached out to grip the side of his face and jaw. “Look at me.”

Unable to refuse a direct order, Felix obeyed his alpha, his wolf sitting stock-still inside him as it stared into the pale blue eyes of the most dangerous predator in the entire region. Hawke could move like lightning in either form, his body a muscled and dangerous machine.

“You really okay?”

“Yes.”

Hawke released his grip. “In that case,” he said as Felix broke the eye contact in shuddering relief, “have fun and try not to get scratched too hard.” Amused words.

Felix felt his lips curve at the memory of the claws that had pricked him through his jeans. He'd liked it, liked that even though he was submissive to her dominant, she didn't see him as too weak to play with the way she wanted to play with a male. “You're a good alpha, Hawke,” he said as they walked back, conscious the other man had made specific time in his day to check up on a packmate he'd worried might be in over his head.

Hawke paused, then wrapped an arm around his neck in an affectionate contact between two wolves. “Come on, you might as well put me to work for a half hour while I'm down here.”

That was another thing that made Hawke such a great alpha—he didn't ever denigrate the work of others in his pack. Felix was nowhere near the power structure, but he was the horticultural expert and, in this arena, Hawke always gave his ideas weight. He'd asked Felix to sit in on the strategy meeting for this section of their territory, had requested he arrive with a plan for replanting. That
plan had been discussed in detail, with the alpha and his lieutenants questioning Felix's decisions and giving him the go-ahead only once he'd satisfied them he knew exactly what he was doing.

Same as they'd do with any other operation that involved the safety of the pack.

No special treatment. No condescension.

Giving Hawke a shovel, he said, “You might want to dig near the juveniles. They turned up to do extra shifts voluntarily. I suspect it's because they want to flirt away from the maternal females, but still.”

Surprisingly, Hawke scowled when Felix had expected an amused and affectionate grin. “I don't blame them.” The alpha's scowl deepened. “Would you believe Nell told me off for kissing Sienna in the corridor?”

Felix couldn't fight his own grin. “Way I heard it, you were doing more than kissing. Wasn't there a half-unbuttoned shirt involved?”

Hawke's bad-tempered growl reverberated through Felix's bones. “I can't wait to have ammunition against you. I hope Dezi pounces on you in public.”

The idea made Felix's entire body go hot. The idea that Dezi might one day pounce on him for more than sex, that she might claim him not only for a night but for forever, it threatened to stagger, to bring him to his knees.

Too soon, warned his wolf, too soon.
Pull back.

Felix tried, but he knew it was a losing battle. This was why he hadn't wanted to get involved with her in the first place—she drew him too strongly, made him want too much. If her leopard decided he wasn't enough, if she walked away . . . it would hurt. Bad.

•   •   •

“You
and the cute gardener, huh?”

Desiree grinned at Mercy's sly words as the sentinel climbed up
to sit on the little porch off Desiree's aerie, where Desiree was having a late lunch. The evening before had been her final night shift on this rotation, which meant she now had her nights free to seduce her
very
cute horticultural expert. “Word travels fast.”

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