Wild Embrace (26 page)

“Love's a hard beast to slay,” Garnet murmured, her eyes on the holes in the walls. “Athena came to me a month ago, wanted to make sure Russ was all right.” A faint, sad smile. “Two people can't live together for a decade and forget each other in a heartbeat.”

Kenji wondered if he'd have been strong enough to walk away from Garnet had they already been a couple. The answer was a visceral
hell, no
. He'd have been selfish, held on to her with bleeding and broken fingers if need be . . . and he'd have watched her slowly realize what it meant to be with him.

It would've killed him.

“Kitchen's the only place left,” Garnet said on the heels of the silent sucker punch of his thoughts.

Not trusting himself to speak, he followed her to the small kitchen in back of the apartment. It was spic-and-span. Neatly set out on the counter was the lonely tableau they'd noted in their first sweep: one cup, one plate, a pair of utensils.

“Sad,” Kenji murmured.

Garnet's mouth was bracketed by white lines on either side as she shook her head. “He could've chosen to eat with packmates at any time.”

Kenji wanted to rub those lines away with his thumb, tell her this wasn't her fault. “Yeah.” The only time Kenji ate on his own was when he was so exhausted he just wanted to bolt down a meal and crash—or during the rare times when he felt like being alone. Otherwise, he ate in one of the communal break rooms. That was every packmate's right, paid for by SnowDancer's various business profits and investments.

The pack had made that decision in the aftermath of the Territorial Wars, at a time when the wild game had long since migrated to areas without war. SnowDancer had survived the wars with enough members to remain a pack, but it had also absorbed members from
other more devastated groups. Those people had become pack under a searing mountain sky, and together, they'd created a charter that held to this day.

Part of that charter was that no pack member would ever go hungry in pack lands.

Too many of the survivors had known hunger.

However, ask any wolf and that wolf would tell you it wasn't only about the food, but about togetherness, about being a pack. Kenji's bonds with his packmates had been sealed into stone over years of meals taken together, hundreds of times when he'd casually taken charge of making sure a small pup ate properly or the occasional time when he'd laughingly participated in a food fight.

Couples and families usually had more meals on their own than single wolves, but even then, the balance was weighted toward being with pack, using the time to catch up and connect. As a child, Kenji had eaten with Garnet's family more than once and he hadn't been the only nonfamily member at the table.

“I guess Russ either liked eating alone,” Kenji said, “or wanted to wallow in self-pity.” He shrugged, feeling more than a twinge of sympathy for his dead packmate. “He'd been dumped, then seen his ex hook up with a younger man—big hit for anyone.” The male ego could be a fragile thing. “And from what you've said, I don't think he'd have seen it coming.”

“You're right.” Garnet walked around the kitchen, checking cabinets and drawers once again. “He'd probably have made it out given enough time.”

Kenji saw the tension bunch across her shoulders, but he wasn't prepared for her to turn around and slam her hands down on the counter as her claws sliced out, perforating her gloves. “No one had to die!”

His wolf rose up into an alert position inside him, hackles raised.
Not because of her growled statement. Because of the distress hidden beneath her anger—and because she was still growling low and deep, her eyes having gone pure wolf. Placing his hand on one deceptively delicate-appearing shoulder, he made his tone hard. “Throttle it.” It was an order. “Your denmates need you calm and in control.”

Baring her teeth at him, she said, “Get your hand off me,” in a voice that was more wolf than woman.

He heard the unspoken coda:
Don't you dare give me orders in my own den.

Kenji decided to dice with his life.

Because what most people didn't realize was that Garnet was actually more feral than Kenji. She ran her den with aplomb, gave off the image of being totally civilized . . . but she wasn't. Piss her off enough and the wolf was right there, ready to rip off your head. Or punch you in the face. Of course, that wolf only appeared with those she considered equals.

Raising an eyebrow, he leaned in close enough that he could count every one of her golden eyelashes. “Make me.”

He didn't even try to avoid it when she shoved off his hold with a clawed hand, leaving four thin scrapes on the skin of his wrist. “Feel better?” His heart pounded at the scent of blood, at the wild physical contact, at the feeling of being marked by the one woman whose brand he'd always wanted to wear.

“Or,” he added with a deliberately wicked smile, “would you like to beat up on me some more?”

“Bite me,” she muttered, but her eyes were less gold and more blue now . . . though the wolf, it was still very much present.

So present that he could almost see her fur bristling.

Kenji wouldn't have
been surprised had Garnet drawn more blood, but she narrowed her eyes at him and said, “Let's go talk to Athena. If anyone knows what led to this, she will.”

After they both stripped off and disposed of the forensic gear they'd been wearing, Kenji stayed back with Eloise while Garnet first took the samples to Lorenzo; the healer was authorized to run most of the necessary biological tests. Anything he couldn't process, he'd keep in a special locked and temperature-controlled storage cabinet.

“She's amazing,” Eloise said softly as Garnet strode away, the younger woman's voice full of shimmering hero worship.

“Yeah.” Leaning against the wall, Kenji held his grazed arm by his side and fought not to go after Garnet, beg for more contact. He'd take another clawing if that was all she'd give him.

And it wasn't because he was a player.

Contrary to general pack opinion, Kenji hadn't exchanged intimate skin privileges with anyone for over a year.

Changelings needed touch to stay stable, but the affectionate cuddles he received from pups, the hugs from friends, had helped paper over, if not fill, the void. His body hurt with a deep sexual ache and his wolf was desperately lonely, but it had started to hurt
being with anyone, too. Because no one else was Garnet. No one else would ever be Garnet.

Neither wolf nor man wanted anyone but her.

Rubbing his fist over his heart again, he tried not to think about how things could've been different, how he could've had the right to call her his own as they grew into their skin and strength side by side, but his brain, it was a runaway train. And it wanted to go straight back to the most painful moment of his life.

For so long, Garnet had just been his friend Steele's tiny kid sister. Smart and funny even when she was butting in and being annoying. She'd also been painfully kind. He'd never forget how she'd hugged him fiercely tight when she'd found him crying as a ten-year-old after his parents had another massive fight—and she'd never told anyone, keeping his hurt to herself.

Then the night of her high school graduation, she'd laughed and hugged him after he gave her a journal for her upcoming trip to France, and his wolf had quivered in shocked understanding inside him: after all that time, he'd finally
seen
her. Seen the strong, highly intelligent, and beautiful woman she'd become. But she'd still been Steele's kid sister, still only eighteen to his twenty.

So he'd gripped his need in a merciless fist and given her the room and the time to spread her wings, find her feet, all the while knowing she was his, the key to his lock. Too fucking bad for him that Fate didn't agree.

Hearing Eloise scuff her shoe on the stone of the den floor, he focused on the young soldier, all determination and ruler-straight spine and lines of strain around the eyes. “Garnet must respect your skills a hell of a lot.”

A wide-eyed look that turned shyly hopeful. “Really?”

Kenji gave a small nod. “Most juniors would've been relieved the instant the alarm went up.” He didn't know this pup well enough to
offer her a touch or a hug, but he could give her the same in words. “Remember that when you are relieved. It's not because she has any concerns about your ability to do the task, but because it's not your time right now.”

Eloise swallowed, blinked. “I just . . . I was freaked, you know?” she admitted in a whisper. “I didn't maintain.” A jagged breath. “I screamed for a second before I stopped myself.”

“That just means you're flesh and blood, with a heart. It's what you did afterward that matters—you summoned help and held the scene. No senior could've done better.”

Eloise's shoulders straightened, a smile lighting up her eyes.

Garnet's boot-clad footsteps sounded at that instant. She appeared around the corner seconds later, her expression grim once more. With her were a male and a female Kenji knew, both dominants far more experienced than Eloise.

“Eloise,” Garnet said, and walked a short distance away with the younger woman, her hand on Eloise's back.

Whatever she said had Eloise nodding before she returned Garnet's hug and left.

Since Kenji and the new guards had exchanged hellos by the time Garnet returned to them, there was no further delay. He fell in beside her, ready to back her up whatever came next.

“You still speak French?” he asked, his mind yet filled with snapshots of how she'd looked when she'd returned from France—so bright and confident and bursting with life. Like Eloise, she'd been hopeful and wide-eyed, but unlike Eloise, she'd already had a core of steel that marked her as a dominant with the strength to become lieutenant.

Only she hadn't been hard. Hot tempered, yes, but never hard, not even when she'd been a teenage girl bloodying the noses of boys
who thought they could dominate her in the hierarchy simply because she was petite. She'd brought Kenji back a braided leather bracelet he still wore, but only when there was no chance she'd see it.

“And that's a relevant question, how?”

“I figure I get a random free question after you mauled me.”

Eyes flicking to his arm, she scowled. “Let me see that.”

It was nothing but a scratch, but he lifted his wrist toward her anyway, let her put her hands on him. “Faker,” she muttered, dropping his arm . . . after a gentle pat over the scratches. “You should know better than to challenge another lieutenant, especially in her territory.”

His skin burned where she'd touched him, licks of fire that warmed the cold places within. “Danger's my middle name, don't you know.”

Garnet's response was a stream of fluent French.

“
Hell
, that's sexy.” He pressed a hand over his heart, his wolf so delighted she was playing with him that it ran around excited as a pup. “You probably said something about spinach, right? Or told me to eat a sock.”

Her lips quirked, that adorable, unlieutenant-like dimple peeking out. “You'll just have to live in suspense, Kenji Danger Tanaka.”

Undone, he said, “Where are we going?” Not that he cared, so long as he was with her.

Her expression turned solemn. “Athena and Shane's place is down this way.”

It took a brisk five-minute walk to reach the apartment.

Kenji frowned. “Did they request these rooms?”

“Yes.” Garnet's shoulder brushed his arm as she paused. “You're thinking they were trying to avoid conflict.”

“Yeah.” Heart pounding at the physical sign that maybe she wasn't
so generally pissed at him any longer, he dared tug on a curling tendril that had escaped the hair stick, giving her the skin privileges she needed to find her center. “Doesn't fit with Shane going after Russ.”

“Nothing fits in this goddamn mess,” Garnet muttered before closing the final distance to the apartment door and raising her hand to knock—but not until she'd glanced over at him, said, “Thanks for putting your body in the line of fire.”

“Anytime, Garnet.” Whatever she needed, he'd do, he'd
be
.

•   •   •

It
was Athena's friend Julie, black haired and with skin the shade of dark autumn leaves, her features lovely and elegant, who opened the door.

Garnet stepped through with her head clear and her wolf's frustrated anger focused into lieutenant composure. All thanks to a sexy, playful wolf she'd done her best to ignore for seven years. Kenji had always been good at that, at making other people feel better. She hadn't missed the light in Eloise's eyes, had figured out the cause pretty damn quick.

Kenji Tanaka had always had
such
a generous heart.

That appeared unchanged, and it didn't fit at all with how he'd destroyed their friendship with a harsh coldness that bewildered her to this day. He'd
hurt
her and he hadn't seemed to care. He hadn't said sorry for standing her up, hadn't even wished her a belated happy birthday. Instead, he'd ignored her, as if they'd never been friends.

Back then, she'd been so angry that she'd taken his actions at face value, especially given his increasingly wild behavior in the months and years immediately following. Kenji had come very close to going totally off the rails with his partying and dangerous stunts, had been placed on probation when it came to his status in the pack.
It was one hell of a serious disciplinary measure for a wolf everyone had thought would make lieutenant.

Not seeming to care about that, either, he'd carried on with his recklessness—until the day he'd jumped off the top of the highest accessible waterfall in den territory.

Garnet had seen the jump by sheer chance, had felt her scream lock in her throat, her entire body going ice-cold.
No,
she'd thought,
no!
She'd frantically searched the churned-up water for his body, but he hadn't broken his neck that day, just a few ribs.

Garnet had intended to tear him a new one for that stupid stunt, but Hawke had hauled him off into the trees while he was still wet and injured, their alpha's grip on Kenji's nape unforgiving. They hadn't reappeared for hours; and whatever had happened that day, Kenji had stopped the flat-out crazy behavior. But he hadn't picked up the violin he'd abandoned—and he hadn't halted his odyssey through the female population of SnowDancer.

Garnet's wolf flexed its claws inside her, but even that wolf, primal and proud, was wondering if maybe in her anger and hurt, she'd missed something vital all those years ago. But that mystery would have to wait, no matter how it tore at her. Today, she had to focus on Russ and Shane.

“Jem! Oh, Jem, tell me it's not true!” Athena rushed into her arms as soon as Garnet entered the living area. Her perfume was as delicate and floral as her sundress, her hair a mass of wild mahogany curls around a striking Botticelli face.

Beside Garnet, Kenji held Julie close, lending his strength to a packmate who needed it.

It took several minutes for Athena to be in any condition to talk. Sitting down with her while Kenji wandered into the kitchenette to talk to Julie as she made some coffee, Garnet took the older
woman's hand. It trembled. “Why did Shane go over to Russ's, Athena?”

Athena's normally creamy skin was blotchy and devoid of its usual glow when she answered, her hazel-green eyes huge in a face that seemed all jagged bone. “Russ, he called.” A hiccuping breath, her voice as soft as always. “He said he wanted to clear the air, have a quiet drink with Shane.”

“That doesn't sound like Russ.” He'd held on to his grudges like pups hang on to their favorite toys.

“Actually, I could see him making that call.” A smile curved Athena's lips but it was a terrible mockery formed of sadness. “Russ likes . . . liked, things in neat boxes. Me and Shane, we were a loose end.” She looked down at the carpet, but Garnet had the feeling she was seeing the man who'd been an integral part of her life for a decade. “So he'd shake hands with Shane and that would be it. The box would be closed and he could carry on.”

Smile fading, Athena looked up to meet Garnet's gaze. “I was happy for him, thought he was finally moving on from our relationship.” Her voice broke on the last word. “I d-didn't h-hate him. I wanted g-good things for him.”

Garnet allowed her packmate to regain her composure before saying, “He called this morning?”

“No, last night. He wanted Shane to go over then.” The blood vessels in her swollen eyes spidery red lines against the white, Athena accepted the mug of coffee Julie handed over, giving her friend a shaky smile of thanks as the shorter woman sat down on her other side.

Taking her own coffee from Kenji as he leaned against the side of the sofa, Garnet waited.

“But Shane was just leaving for a night shift,” Athena continued. “So Russ suggested that maybe Shane could drop by in the
morning for a few minutes instead.” She gave a tight smile. “Russ always hated having to redo his schedule—he liked things as he liked them.”

Taking a deep breath of the coffee aroma, she swallowed, her nose stuffy when she spoke again. “Shane didn't want to go, but I said he should, that it'd make things so much easier if we didn't have to avoid Russ in the den.” Another breath, this one jerky. “I
sent
him.” Her hands tightened on the coffee mug, her voice rising in pitch.

Athena's pain made Garnet's heart hurt, but she had to be a lieutenant today, not just a sympathetic packmate. “How was Shane this morning before he left?” she asked before Athena could give in to hysteria.

Athena jerked almost to attention at Garnet's blade of a tone, instinct trumping the dark spiral of her thoughts. “I didn't see him,” she whispered. “I was giving an art class in the nursery and I left early to set up. But I know he wouldn't have had a knife.” Her big, guileless eyes pleaded with Garnet. “He's not that kind of a man.”

Kenji stirred, his scent brushing over Garnet in a caress that felt disconcertingly intimate. “Do you know if there's a blade missing from his collection?”

“I haven't looked.” Athena set down her coffee mug before her trembling spilled the hot liquid over the sides. “I didn't want to look. I
know
Shane didn't go there with the intention of hurting Russ.”

“May we look?” Garnet put her own mug on the same low table.

Rubbing away her tears with her knuckles, Athena hesitated, suddenly appearing far smaller than her five feet, nine inches of height. “I don't want to do anything to hurt Shane.”

The truth was that as head of the den, Garnet could go ahead without Athena's permission, but the other woman was already fragile, didn't need to be forced into a choice that made her feel as
if she was betraying the man she loved. Better if Athena understood that she was helping her lover as much as she could.