Wild Heart- Extended Edition (The Wild Heart Series) (29 page)

“It’s all going to be ok now, Butcher. We are going to go home now.”

She took one last long breath as the blast echoed throughout the room. It was finally over.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

CEARTAIS

Knox’s heart was beating faster and faster with every mile they got closer to the address where Cash said Ani had been kept. They flew down the last dirt road, startling the herd of cows in the pasture as they passed and made the turn onto the long gravel drive. They had already decided they were going to come in guns blazing this time. Neither Hell, fire, nor brimstone would be able to keep him from getting Ani back. As they neared the dilapidated house, he could feel the electricity flowing through him. He could feel her.

He parked his bike as the group made it to the front door without resistance. He looked over at the small garage where the Renegades’ bikes were parked and counted three. One however stood out from its familiarity. It wasn’t a Renegade’s bike it was Butcher’s.

He slowly turned the handle of the door and he made his way in, followed by Rage, Charon, Jameson, and Cash. He passed through the kitchen and made his way down the narrow hallway until it opened up into a living room. He looked down, taking in the trail of blood that crossed the floor. Looking to his left he saw Chief’s silhouette standing in the middle of the room, his gun trained on a mass of bodies in the corner. Knox couldn’t see her face, but he knew that it was Ani.

He didn’t think, he reacted, as he pulled up his pistol and shot Chief in the back of his head. He collapsed when he looked down at Ani’s lifeless body, her face buried in Butcher’s chest. There was blood everywhere, so much blood that he didn’t know who it was coming from. Cash took off toward Ani’s body, kneeling down beside her as he gently placed his hand on her shoulder.

“No! Don’t touch me! Stop it!” her screams pierced the silence of the room, causing Knox to look up in astonishment, watching as she thrashed her arm away from Cash.

He stood and made his way to Cash’s side, not really sure what to do or what to say. He could see the bruises that covered her body and face and could only imagine what she’d been through over the past few days. He could feel her broken spirit, see it written across her face as she looked up at him in a dreamlike state; as though she didn’t really believe he was standing there. His heart broke, shattering into tiny pieces as she looked up at him in despair.

He wanted to touch her, to hold her, but he didn’t. He looked down and saw the gunshot wound in Butcher’s chest and the petite hand that was wrapped around his. She’d been with him when he died and Knox knew that Butcher had taken that bullet trying to save her.

“Ani,” his voice was low and cautious as he reached his hand out for her. “Baby, it’s ok. We’re here. It’s ok.” He went to touch her, but hesitated when her eyes glared toward his hand.

“You left me. You didn’t want me!” Her eyes were alight with a fury of emotions as she looked at him. “He said you didn’t want me!” His heart ripped further as she screamed at him.

“Ani, that’s not true. That would never be true,” he said desperately in an attempt to get her to believe him.

“You need to get her out of here. I’ll call in Carla and have her help me fix the crime scene,” Cash said, looking around the room and shuttering at the chaos that had gone on.

“Ani, we have to go.” Knox placed his hand down lightly on her arm, feeling relieved when she didn’t fight him. “Baby, we need to go.” But when he tried to help her up away from Butcher she resisted. Pushing against him in an effort to sit back down by Butcher’s side. It ripped the remaining pieces of his soul apart, watching her struggle to get away from his touch. To get away from his love. He let her fight, kicking and screaming as he pulled her through the living room and into the hallway.

She clawed at his face, tearing into his skin as she tried to get away until her body gave out. The flood of sadness crept into his heart as the sobs shook throughout her body. All he could do was hold her, to let her know that no matter what, he’d spend the rest of his days putting the pieces of her heart back together. He would hold her so tightly that soon, all of her broken pieces would work themselves back together.

She stilled as they made their way out toward Knox’s bike. He took off his leather cut and wrapped it around her, trying to cover the blood that covered her body and clothes. She gripped tight to his chest as he mounted his bike. He held her in his lap the entire way to the cabin. Rage and Jameson had fallen off behind him as they turned onto the gravel drive and they now stood on guard outside the house.

He rushed her up the stairs and toward their bathroom, she gently sobbed as he reached in and turned on the shower. He pulled his leather cut from her but left the rest of her clothes on. He stepped into the shower as the warm water cascaded down around them. He didn’t leave her side, he sat there on the floor of the shower, existing with her as she cried into his chest. The water running from her body was stained red from the blood that washed from her. He could feel her shaking and he wrapped his arms around her tighter, worrying at first that she’d resist until she grabbed for him, pulling him tighter to her.

“I thought you’d left me,” she whimpered.

“I would never leave you. I will never leave you. Didn’t know what to think when Doc said you’d been taken. Wasn’t sure if you were alive, dead, hurt. I didn’t know what they were willing to do to get to us.” The tears were now flowing from his eyes as well as the relief that she was back with him welled within his heart. “Christ, Ani, you are my soul. I can’t live without my soul. Your life is now my life; when you hurt, I hurt. When you’re happy, I’m happy. You’re hurting right now, baby, and I promise you that it’s tearing me up inside. I don’t ever want you to hurt like this again.”

She didn’t look up at him as she spoke, “He hurt me Knox. He did things to me…”

She didn’t have to finish the sentence, he had an idea of what had happened and it sent a frost over him. He wanted revenge so bad he could taste it. He might have ended Chief’s life, but he’d erase every last one of them from the face of the Earth for hurting her. “Ani, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I wasn’t there for you. I promise that for the rest of my life, I will do everything I can to make up for it if you’d let me. I will never let anything bad ever happen to you again.”

“Please don’t ever leave me,” Ani gently shook as the tears continued to fall down her face.

“I won’t.” He gently reached down and lifted her face to him, “Aiyana, I promise you that I will never leave you.” His heart ached for her as he took in the bruises and cuts on her swollen face. No matter how long it took, he’d make this right again.

He sat on the floor of the shower with her as she softly cried, purging the fear and hurt from her body. He knew there wasn’t anything else he could do for her at that moment except be there, holding her as she cried and making her feel safe. It was going to take time for her to feel comfortable again, around him or anyone. He gently stroked her hair as the steam of the shower engulfed them, silently promising to himself and to her that he’d serve his own justice for what they’d done to her. No matter what it might take.

ANI

Ani stood at the edge of the dresser, her body ached in a way she’d never experienced. Every move, every step she took reminded her of what had happened. She knew that even after the physical damage healed, the emotional damage would take a long time to recover from. She closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath as she slipped into a clean pair of jeans. Knox had held her for what felt like hours on the bottom of the shower and though she knew he meant everything he’d said, she worried it was too little too late. Everything in her body had wanted him to touch her, to hold her, but every time she’d closed her eyes she’d imagined it was Chief’s hands and not Knox’s. She buttoned her pants and made her way to the edge of the bed as the door opened.

“Babe, you finished getting dressed?” Knox opened it slightly, giving her enough privacy to not make her feel uncomfortable.

“Yeah.” She could feel the depression building inside of her. She’d never felt this way before; she didn’t want to be around anyone, didn’t want to speak to anyone.

“Aye, talked to Cash and he said we need to get you down to the hospital to make sure you’re ok. Said he talked to the doctors and they’re aware of the situation.” He looked over at her from the door frame.

“You told him?” her voice was stressed as she spoke. She didn’t want the entire world knowing what had happened to her. Especially not Cash.

“No. But he saw the bruises. He just wants to make sure you’re ok, baby.” Knox took a few large steps and knelt in front of her, reaching up to grab her hands, but hesitating.

She wanted to touch him, to feel him, but it was too much and she turned away from him. She could see the desperation and hurt in his eyes and it ate away at her, but she figured it was for the best. Maybe if she pushed him away hard enough he would find a girl who was worth his time. She was tainted now, stained with another human being’s blood on her hands. She’d taken a life and no matter how badly he had hurt her, it was not ok to hurt other people. She fought the battle raging inside of her as she stood from the bed and walked around him toward the door.

She could hear his heavy footsteps behind her as she made her way out toward Repo’s truck. She didn’t look at anyone while she climbed in and shut the door. She peered over at Knox who stood at the edge of the porch. His face was long as he made his way to his motorcycle to follow him. In the back of her head, she prayed he was strong enough to fight for her, because she knew she was about to ignite a war between them.

As she made her way into Murphy Medical Center she felt as though everyone’s eyes were on her. As if they all knew the dirty secret she held behind her sullen face. She made her way toward the suite that Cash had instructed her to go to, finding a smiling nurse who was waiting for her arrival. She smiled weakly at Knox as she made her way into the examination room. Her stomach twisted and turned with each touch of the doctor. She ran every test imaginable and swabbed every square inch of Ani’s skin before she concluded her examination.

“Ok, Ani, I think we are all done here. I have a prescription here for you, some antibiotics and some pain killers. Make sure you take these with food as they can make your stomach a little queasy.” As the doctor continued to talk, Ani’s thoughts drifted off. She didn’t focus on the humming of the doctor’s voice as the visions of the woods and the serenity of the trees floated into her head. It was her solace, her safety from the ravages of the world that spun around her. She nodded in agreement as the woman finished speaking, taking the small pieces of paper from her and heading toward the door.

She felt empty, like she was only the shell of her exterior now. She breezed past Knox and Repo as she made her way to the hospital exit. She was practically sprinting as she came out of the automatic doors and took off into the parking lot. She didn’t want to be here anymore, she didn’t want to be around people. The only way she knew how to cope with pain was to hide, to box herself away from everyone so that no one else got hurt; including herself. She screamed as a hand grabbed her arm in an effort to slow her. She turned to see Knox’s ghost white face, startled at her panic.

“Aiyana, where are you going?” he whispered out as if not wanting to know the answer.

“Away from here. Away from everyone. I don’t want to be around anyone. I don’t want to be touched.” She could feel the anger and resentment building inside of her gut and she latched onto that as she threw the first punch. “I don’t want you to touch me. Every time you touch me all I can see is his face.”

“Ani,” his voice was hurt as he searched for the words to say to her. “I’m not goin’ anywhere. You can scream, shout, make as big of a scene as you want, but I’m not leavin’ you. I am gonna fight through this with you.”

She glared up at him, her eyes piercing down to his soul. She knew she had to push, she needed to take this as far as she could to get it out of her system and she prayed that he would be able to handle it. She knew she was going to say things to purposefully hurt him because she wanted him to feel the hurt and pain that had now replaced her loving spirit.

“I don’t want you to fight for me, Knox. I’m fucking strong enough to take care of myself. I want you to feel the same hurt that I feel. The same gut wrenching feeling that sinks into my stomach when I think about what happened. You keep saying you’re not gonna go anywhere, but let’s not kid ourselves. I can’t stand for you to touch me because every time you do, I feel him. I feel his hands on me. I feel him inside of me. I can’t stand to look at you because every time I closed my eyes, you were all I thought about.” She could see the blow of her words had hit him directly in the gut. His mouth hung open as she calculated each word she was saying.

“I hate you, Knox. I hate you and I love you and I don’t know what to do with that. I want to touch you and hit you. I want you to leave me the fuck alone, but never leave me at all!” She grabbed at the sides of her head as she fell to the ground. “I hate what he did to me. I hate that it holds power over me and I don’t know how to make it go away.”

She watched as he swayed, taking in the words that came screaming out of her mouth. She knew she had done it. She’d pushed him enough that he would turn and walk away from her. No one wants a woman who’s been tainted by an agony that she can never purge from her system. She waited as he stood over her, waited for him to turn and leave her on the ground. She closed her burning eyes as she heard his footsteps away from her. This was it, this was the end and she would regret every minute of it for the rest of her life. It was to her surprise when she heard him return to her, wrapping a jacket around her arms as he sat down onto the dirty parking lot pavement next to her.

“Ani, I’ve never really told you this. Never said it out loud. I was too much of a coward to, I’ve said it in my head a million times, but never like I should have. Ani, I love you. I love you so much it hurts and I couldn’t think of anything that could hurt worse than not having you in my life.” He leaned back onto his hands, looking up at the star speckled sky. “If you need to scream, you scream, baby. If you want to hate me, it’s ok. I’m not goin’ anywhere.” His eyes made their way back down to her, she could feel the warmth of his gaze spreading across her body.