Wild Ice (12 page)

By the time they returned to the field behind Teal Manor, JD’s head was spinning. From Lauren’s abundance of knowledge about each bird,
the touch of her hand, her fragrance… It all mingled together and made his head spin.

When the roof of
the mansion came into view he almost felt disappointed. For the first time, he dreaded the thought of going back inside and fading back into the darkness.

* * *

That night JD dream
ed of Lauren. He dreamed he was standing on the back patio and she was out in the field. He’d never seen her like this when he was awake. The floppy hat was gone and her usual playfulness was replaced with something sultry and mysterious. The wetlands were illuminated by a full moon, the water sparkled, and mist clung greedily to the tall cattails.

She walked through the tall grass, her body naked and glorious in the summer moonlight. Tall stalks of swamp grass caressed her
calves and reached out and brushed against her thighs as she slowly walked away from him. Her brown hair hung loose and unbound down the middle of her bare back. The tips of her fingers played over the tops of the grass as she walked, her hips swayed seductively on either side of her heart-shaped bottom.

With each
sensual step she took, JD felt a piece of him fall away. The further she got, the harder it was for him to breathe. Blood pounded in his ears and his whole body shook.

Suddenly, just when he was about to
cry out for her to come back, she stopped and turned. Her profile glowed against the night sky. Her long hair curled over her shoulders and breasts. When she turned around completely to face him, he was rendered breathless by her beauty. The apex of her thighs was shadowed and he lifted his eyes. Inch by inch, his eyes traveled up her body. The slight flair of her hips, where her body nipped in at the waist, the curve of her stomach, her round breasts, erect nipples, the length of her neck, the graceful column of her throat…

When his gaze reached her face, h
er lips curved into a smile. Her lips were pink and plump, her chin proud, her delicate nose slightly upturned. Lauren’s beautiful face stared back at him and then she looked deep into his soul.

JD jolted awake.

* * *

After feeding Mel, JD notched up the incline on his treadmill and ran until his legs burned. What was it about his neighbor that had him so tangled up inside? Yesterday was the nicest day he’d had in the past year, maybe even longer. It had felt like he and Lauren were the only two people on earth, as they weaved their ways across the wetlands, and that didn’t bother him. Whatever this feeling was, it was a helluva lot better than the black pit he’d been buried in for the past year.

After their walk, he’d started noticing the birds’ different noises. What were they called?
Chirps? Calls? Songs? Whatever they were, there sure were a lot of them.

And she’d held his hand!
She’d laced her fingers through his like it was the most natural thing in the world to do. And he’d let her. It felt nice to feel her warm hand in his. Too nice.

And then he had to go and dream about her.

JD cranked up the speed on the treadmill until the motor roared.

Chapter Thirteen

Oh Brother

When JD heard car tires on the gravel driveway, a peek out the front window told him he had a visitor. He thought it might be Cody coming for his obligatory visit, even though he usually called ahead of time, but it wasn’t. JD took one look at the black and gold Pontiac Trans Am and cursed under his breath. Only one person he knew drove a Trans Am and it wasn’t Cody Lambert. It just so happened to be JD’s brother, Kyle.

Even though the car was
30-some-odd years old, Kyle took care of it like it was his baby. He claimed that chicks loved “The Bandit” car, but ninety-nine point nine percent of the chicks he met hadn’t even heard of the classic Burt Reynolds movie.

JD
scrubbed his hand over his face. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with Kyle right now. Probably not ever. Once they’d grown up and discovered they had completely different interests, they grew apart and JD was okay with that. Kyle’s life revolved around music and women and JD’s revolved around hockey. Or it used to anyway.

Their age difference didn’t help matter
s either. The five years that separated them might as well have been forty. It was just enough to prevent them from going to high school together and enough to widen the gap in their already strained relationship.

Kyle had
only come to Teal Manor one other time and the visit had ended in an ugly argument. There was no guarantee this visit wouldn’t end the same way and JD wasn’t looking forward to reliving the experience.

JD
took a deep breath and swung the front door open before Kyle had a chance to knock.

“Hey big brother!”
Kyle exclaimed and extended his arms.

They had the same rock star good looks
, but Kyle had straight black hair where JD’s was more wavy and brown. They shared similar dark blue eyes, long legs and athletic builds.

“
What’s up, Kyle.”

Kyle gave him a hard hug and clapped him on the back.
“You’re so buried up here in the boondocks I almost missed the turnoff.”

“
Too bad you didn’t,” JD mumbled and walked into the kitchen.

Kyle followed, nipping at his heels.
“You don’t answer your phone,” he pointed out.

Let the games begin
, JD grumbled to himself. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and led Kyle out into the backyard. He needed some fresh air if he was going to put up with his brother. Although it was enormous, JD doubted the square footage of the house could contain Kyle’s zest for life and tendency to annoy him.

Even though
he was only five years older, JD felt a hundred years older than his younger brother. He’d lived through tragedy while Kyle tried to make a name for himself in the music industry. It didn’t seem fair. JD knew life wasn’t fair, but still wondered why he’d been dealt such a shitty hand while other people were out their living their lives and pursuing their dreams, completely untouched by tragedy.

Kyle took the beer and drank a
long swig. “Where’s Mel?”

“Uh…out roaming around somewhere.”

JD knew exactly where Mel was. Out frolicking in the wetlands with their neighbor. He had to admit he’d rather be out there with Lauren than here having a conversation with his brother. Kyle had a smug answer for everything and that grinded JD’s gears.

“You
doin’ okay out here?” Kyle asked, surveying the empty field.

“Yeah,” JD lied.

“And yet there isn’t any ice for miles.”

JD didn’t answer and Kyle knew it was a hot button issue with him.
Kyle knew how important hockey was to his older brother. The fact that he’d isolated himself from the sport continued to baffle him, and everyone else he talked to, for that matter. “I know you must miss it.”

“What do you want me to say Kyle?
” JD retorted. “Hockey’s the kind of sport that takes and takes.” He only half believed that, but it sounded like a good point to make.

“It gives, too,” Kyle argued.

JD remembered their parents telling Kyle he should be a lawyer because he argued so much when he was a kid. He didn’t become an attorney, but that didn’t mean he still couldn’t argue the feathers off a crow.

When Kyle looked at him questioningly,
JD remained silent. He didn’t have anything to say that hadn’t been said before. No one understood him. No one knew what he’d been through. Least of all his little brother. The only worries Kyle had were the decisions of which roadie to sleep with first and which song to rip off because he wasn’t talented enough to write his own.

“Why do you always get so bent outta shape when I try to talk to you about hockey?”
Kyle asked, sounding wounded.

“All that time I traveled for the game I could’ve spent with Darla.”

“What? Working a 9-to-5 job?”

JD blew out a frustrated breath. “I don’t know. I just know that I should’ve been there more.”

“You were. You even quit the sport altogether to be with her.”

He had. And it still hadn’t bought him enough time with her.

JD didn’t answer. No matter how he sliced it he couldn’t change the past. All he could do was try to live with the aftermath of it the best he could. The problem was everyone sure seemed to have an opinion on how he chose to deal with it.

“You’ve got to stop
beatin’ yourself up over what happened.”

Maybe if he’d had a normal job or if they’d decided to have kids earlier…

“You did what you could with a fucked up situation.”

It was still a fucked up situation.

“You belong on the ice. Not out here in the freakin’ swamplands.” Kyle gestured to the refuge with his beer.

“Wetlands,” JD corrected. Lauren had told him that.

“Whatever,” Kyle mumbled. “When’s the last time you even put on a pair of skates anyway?”

The last time he played
. Three months before Darla… After that, he’d tossed his gear in the garage and hadn’t looked at it since. Why should he get to do what he loved when Darla got nothing?

JD shook his head. He didn’t trust his voice to answer without faltering.

“Darla loved to watch you play. Hell, we all did.”

JD winced at the sound of her name.
“I’m retired,” he bit out.

“Yeah, but
that’s not set in stone. You can always go back.”

T
hey stood in silence and Kyle leaned on the patio pillar.

What if
JD did go back and he wasn’t any good anymore? What if it just brought back old memories—
painful
memories? He couldn’t put himself through that. But could he really live without it for the rest of his life? Hockey had played such an important role in his life. Could he really turn his back on the sport for good? What had hockey ever done to him—besides provide money, stability, security, a sense of purpose and fun—to make him quit for good? He used to love it. At one point in his life he didn’t think he could love anything else as much as hockey—until Darla came along.

“You have to let her go, man,” Kyle said gently.

Darla was dead weight, a cement brick at the bottom of the lake that JD kept holding on to.
Let go or you will drown
, a voice hissed inside of him.

“You can get
your life back,” Kyle reminded him. “Just because her time was up doesn’t mean yours is too.”

The question was did
JD even want to get his life back? One glance in the direction of the cottage told him the answer wasn’t so cut and dried as it used to be. It sure as hell wasn’t the same as it was last month anyway.

JD had
spent the first two months after Darla’s death begging God to take him, too. He’d go to bed at night praying he wouldn’t wake up in the morning. He would have gladly traded places with her.
Anything
to spare her precious life. And now…well, now not so much.

“You still have a life to live
, JD. What would she think of you living out here just waiting to die?”

“Don’t
ask me what my wife would think,” JD answered angrily. “I don’t need you to come down here and tell me how to live my life.”

“That’s the problem. You’re not
living
life,” Kyle retorted, squaring up his shoulders for an argument. “You used to be a great hockey player and now you’re out here pissing away all your talent. If the situation was the other way around, I don’t think you’d let me throw away
my
talent.”

JD lifted his shoulder in an indifferent shrug. “You’re not that good of a guitar player.”

Kyle shoved him so hard he nearly fell over and they both chuckled. “Really, JD. Come on.”

“What is it you want from me?
” JD asked bitterly, the chuckle gone. “What is it that you’re looking for when you drive all the way out here?”

Kyle looked like the question had thrown
him off guard. He thought about it and then answered carefully. “Honestly? I hope to see you stick a ‘For Sale’ sign on this creepy old house.”

“And what?
Move back to the city? Be the star hockey player that everyone wants me to be?”

Kyle made a sound and thrust his palms up.
“Why not? You were damn good at it.”

The only thing JD was good at anymore was pushing people away and keeping them at arm’s length. If he let them get
too close they might realize that he wanted the same things they did, but was too scared shitless to admit it.

“
Maybe it’s
your
turn to be in the spotlight,” JD said.

“Eh. Being in a band isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Too many egos fighting for that spotlight. Then again I never did understand team sports.”

“T
hen go out on your own. Make your own music without having to answer to anyone else.” Great. Here he was doling out advice to his little brother like he was the Wise and Great One all of a sudden.

“I met an incredible woman,”
Kyle announced, thankfully changing the subject.

JD felt a slight twinge of jealousy. While he had locked himself away from the world, his brother was out living life and enjoying himself like he was supposed to.
There were plenty of women out in the world just waiting to be met. Hell, JD had even met one out here in the middle of nowhere. Lauren. No, JD didn’t want to think about her. She had interfered enough and now she was popping up in his dreams like she belonged there or something.

“You’re a musician. That’s going to happen from time to time
,” JD said harshly.

“I’d like you to meet her. I’ve got a gig at
Lavender Fields on Friday. You can meet her then.”

JD sighed.
“I don’t know…” It came out more of a whine than he’d intended and he felt bad. He’d gone from being the life of the party—they didn’t call him Hollywood just because of his hair—and now he couldn’t even give his brother the courtesy of meeting his girlfriend. Neither “No thanks,” “I’m good” or “That’s okay” was an appropriate response in this situation.

“Come on,
” Kyle prodded. “I keep telling her about my big brother, the famous hockey player, and I think she’s starting to think I made you up.”

Before JD had a chance to make up a
believable excuse, a figure emerged from the tall grass beyond the field. Lauren’s figure. Lauren’s sauntering womanly figure with a big floppy hat on top.

Immediately, she s
potted them on the patio and waved enthusiastically.

When JD waved back, he could almost feel the curios
ity pulsing through Kyle’s veins. JD feared he might have to hold Kyle back from pouncing on her like a crazed Chihuahua. Yep, he definitely wished he had a leash for him.

Kyle lifted his hand in a wave and looked over at JD. The smile on Kyle’s face was almost as big as the silly hat on Lauren’s head.

Mel reached the brothers first and bounded up to Kyle for a vigorous belly rub.

“Hi
,” Lauren greeted as she approached them.

“Well, hello there,” Kyle purred.
The voice he used was smooth and velvety.

It was the same voice he used when there was a microphone in front of him
and JD flinched. Instead of rolling his eyes like he wanted to, JD introduced them. “Lauren, this is my brother Kyle.”

When Kyle leaned forward, JD thought he’d shake her hand
, but instead he actually kissed her between the knuckles. Jerk.

She laughed at the
dramatic gesture and JD was relieved she wasn’t completely skeeved out by his idiot brother.

“It’s great to meet you Kyle
,” she said in that sing-song voice of hers. “I was just coming from the creek. I saw a pair of owls in the birch tree across from the waterfall. I almost missed them because they blend so well with the tree branches.”