Wild Wild Death (6 page)

I hadn’t ordered anything online, so I wasn’t waiting for a delivery, and since there was no return address on the box, I used my detective skil s to narrow the field as to where the package might have come from. The postmark was smudged and unreadable. I shook the box and was rewarded by a dul thud. Something inside, and not something big.

But then, the box was only the size of those rectangular ones that new checks come in.

I am not a big believer in premonitions and weird stuff like that. Sure, I talk to ghosts, but that has more to do with the bad luck of the draw than it does with ESP. Stil , a shiver like the touch of a dead hand crawled up my back.

“Dumb,” I told myself, and ripped the brown paper off the box.

Three cheers for me in the deduction department; it was a box from old checks. I lifted the lid. There was a folded piece of paper inside.

Another chil on the back of my neck.

Another reminder to myself that if I could deal with the dead but not departed, I could certainly handle a letter.

I unfolded the paper and saw the blocks of words, cut out of a newspaper and glued to the page:

If U Want 2 C Dan Callahan alive, follow
instructions exactly

Bring Chester Goodshot Gomez
(the name was written with a Sharpie, but then, I don’t suppose they’re common words in a newspaper)
2 Tres
Piedras, New Mexico. Instructions @ gas station
U have 7 days

It was a joke.

It had to be.

Only I wasn’t laughing.

Especial y when I realized there was something under the tissue paper wadded at the bottom of the box. I plucked it out, and found myself staring at a watch with a silver band.

Yeah, that one. A band engraved with mysterious-looking symbols and studded with teardrop-shaped bits of turquoise.

T

he moment I walked into her office, El a’s face lit up with a grin as bright as the sparkly yel ow beads she was wearing with her orange dress. She was so obviously pleased to see me, I almost felt guilty for being there.

Almost.

I braced myself for what I knew what was coming, and managed one deep breath before she leaped from her chair and wrapped me in a hug that made the air whoosh out of my lungs. When she stepped back to look up and take a gander at me, there were tears in El a’s eyes.

“It’s so good to see you,” she crooned and sniffed. “I was afraid we’d never see you here at Garden View again, that you’d never want to come back. I mean, after the way we treated you.”

“
You
didn’t treat me any way. You were only doing your job. The cemetery had to cut staff. No hard feelings.”

Lie No. 1.

I was stil plenty pissed at Garden View in general and Jim, the cemetery administrator, in particular, not so much because he eliminated my job but because, before he did, he actual y had me doing things like plucking staples out of old memos to save paper and helping to pick up garbage on the grounds of the cemetery.

I mean, real y. If you’re going to fire somebody anyway, it seems more than cruel and unusual to make that same somebody go through al that first.

I bit my tongue and kept my lips clamped shut.

The last thing I was there to do was stir up trouble. Or upset El a.

Pasting on a smile, I untangled myself from her maternal hug and strol ed over to her desk. El a’s office at the cemetery was bigger than the one I used to occupy down the hal , but just barely. Her desk near the window was always picture-perfect, in a Martha Stewart sort of way. Cute china teacup. Cute mouse pad that featured a cute photo of a cute puppy. Cute pictures of her three teenaged girls.

Except today, El a’s office reminded me a lot of my old office.

And not in a good way.

“Don’t pay any attention to the mess!” El a raced over to the guest chairs, unpiled a couple mile-high stacks of papers from them, and plopped them down atop the about-to-topple pile already on her desk.

“Come on, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. I’m so happy to see you here again.” She could have fooled me since there were tears streaming down her cheeks. “This is where you belong, Pepper.”

When I didn’t move fast enough, she patted the seat of the empty chair. “Tel me what’s been happening with you and why you stopped in.”

I sat as instructed, mostly because I knew if I didn’t, she’d bug me forever. In her own, fluffy Jewish-mother sort of way, El a is every bit as persistent as the ghosts who promise to haunt me if I don’t help them.

“I was just driving by,” I said, and yes, it was Lie No. 2, but it’s not like a person can just march into another person’s office, blurt out one huge lie, and get away with it. Lies are delicate creatures, and they need a framework if they’re going to stand. As the world’s only private detective to the dead, I’d long ago come to accept lying as a fact of my life.

Building up to the big lie… that was a skil . One I was getting very good at. “I thought I’d stop in and see how you were doing.”

“Me?” El a dug through her purse and pul ed out a lace-edged handkerchief. She touched it to her already-red nose. “I should be asking you that, Pepper. How are you? Any luck finding another job?”

She was so darned concerned, I didn’t have the heart to tel her I hadn’t exactly gotten up the energy to send out my résumé yet. There was the whole thing with Quinn I’d been dealing with, and the whole bit about how, aside from the lack of money, I wouldn’t mind taking the summer off. Now there was Dan to worry about, too.

I tucked the thought away so my expression didn’t betray me.

“Something wil turn up,” I said, forcing my shrug to look unconcerned. “It always does.”

“You’re so brave.” She pul ed in a breath that escaped her on the end of a sigh. “And so escaped her on the end of a sigh. “And so considerate, asking about me. I’m…” El a glanced at the devastation that had once been her pristine office. “What with doing your job and mine, fil ing in for Jim when he’s busy, picking up some of the slack because Jennine out at the front desk has had her hours cut, and helping out with the groundskeeping work so we don’t have to pay the landscaping crews overtime… I’m afraid I’m getting a little behind and feeling a bit overwhelmed.” Her lower lip wobbled, and El a fanned one hand in front of her face. But then, I could sympathize—the office was stifling.

I glanced at her window, open maybe an inch and a half.

El a fol owed my gaze and chirped in the way she always does when something’s bugging her and she won’t admit it. “Don’t get the wrong idea. The heat in here isn’t a problem. Real y. I’m comfortable. I was actual y cold this morning.”

I pinned her with a look. “It’s got to be at least ninety degrees in here, and let me guess, Jim won’t let anyone turn on the AC because he doesn’t want to pay for the electricity. And he won’t let you open your windows more than that because…”

“Dirt.” El a’s shoulders drooped. “If we open the windows, who knows what wil blow in from the outside, and then the office wil get dirtier and we’l have to pay the cleaning crews more and… wel , enough of that nonsense!” El a popped out of her chair. There were a couple plastic grocery bags on the floor near where I was sitting and she scooted around to the other side of the desk to get at them.

“This is so lucky, you showing up here. I was going to cal you this afternoon and ask if I could stop by your apartment on the way home this evening. To chat. Like old times. I thought maybe I could convince you to stop by for dinner one of these days.

You know, I have been cal ing and inviting you and I’m sure you’re busy. Yes, of course, you’re busy, a young woman like you always has so many things to do. I understand. Of course, I understand.”

I careful y prepared Lie No. 3. “I’m sorry I haven’t been as good as I should be about returning your cal s. There’s something wrong with my cel phone. I get some of your messages, real y, and I keep meaning to cal , but—”

She held up one hand to stop me. “No apologies necessary. You’re a young woman with a busy life, and I’m sure you’re spending time with that nice policeman boyfriend of yours.”

El a was on a rol , so I didn’t bother to correct her.

Nice
had never been one of Quinn’s strong points.

Then again, I don’t think
boyfriend
applied, either. A boyfriend was a man who wanted to share a woman’s life and her dreams and even her goofy Gift if she happened to have one. In al the time I’d known him, the only thing Quinn wanted to share was my bed.

“Wel , who can blame you?” This time when El a fanned her face, I don’t think it had anything to do with the temperature in the office. “What with him being so dreamy and al . And how he almost died a couple months ago! I can see you’d want to spend a lot of time with him. And with looking for a job, of course. I’m sure you’re taking hours and hours every day to pound the pavement and look for work. Oh, Pepper…” She bit her lower lip. “I wish I could do something to help you. Wel … wel …” El a pul ed in a bracing breath. “I have done something. Like I said, I was going to cal you and stop by.” Her shoulders back and both her chins lifted high, El a held out one of the blue plastic grocery bags to me. “I know it’s hard for you living on unemployment so I’ve gone through my closets. You know, to find some things for you to add to your wardrobe.”

It was the wrong time to say, “
Over my dead
body
,” so I forced a smile, plucked the bag out of her hands, and held it close to my chest. If I didn’t look…

if I never opened it… I wouldn’t feel obligated. Or guilty. Or horrified.

Then I could just stop at Goodwil on my way home and—

“It’s not much, I know, but it’s the least I can do for you, Pepper. When I think about you sitting at home with no job and us, here at the cemetery, and how we could use your talents… wel , it just makes me crazy.

That’s why… wel , I know you’re going to love these things.” As fast as I’d taken it from her, El a grabbed the bag back from me and dug around inside it. She came out holding a white peasant blouse embroidered with bright flowers at the neckline and cuffs.

White peasant blouse.

In El a’s size.

“Perfect for summer,” she crooned. “And here’s a nice little sundress that wil look adorable on you. I nice little sundress that wil look adorable on you. I mean, once you nip in the waist just a tad.” El a held up said object for me to admire. It was turquoise and three of me would fit into it. “Some night when that nice policeman wants to take you out and you’re looking to impress him—”

I jumped out of my chair, snatched the sundress out of her hands, and folded it—careful y but quickly.

Before anyone could see. And think that I might actual y…

The thought turned my brain to mush and froze my insides. Before I could succumb, I blurted out,

“That’s so nice of you. But you real y shouldn’t—”

“I know. But I can’t help myself. You’re just like one of my girls, Pepper, and with al you did for Ariel…” Her expression softened into that squishy motherly smile she always has when she thinks about her youngest daughter and how the kid used to be trouble with a capital
T
and is now, thanks to me, an annoying overachiever whose sole goal in life is to become a librarian and be as geeky as her mother. “That’s why I brought along another bag, too.”

I was almost afraid to look, but at least while I did, I could set down the bag of clothes in the corner, where I could then pretend I’d forgotten it.

The second blue grocery bag contained five boxed macaroni and cheese mixes, two jars of spaghetti sauce, a couple boxes of pasta, and one box of hot chocolate mix. Yes, it was summer and hotter than hel . To El a, nothin’ says lovin’ like hot chocolate.

It was ridiculous, but I couldn’t help myself; my throat closed around a lump of emotion. “I couldn’t,” I said, handing the bag back to her and hoping she didn’t hear the catch in my voice. “You and the girls need—”

“Not as much as you do.” That was that, and to prove it, El a crossed her arms over her chest. “The least I can do is help out. After al , I was the one who

—”

Fortunately, the phone on El a’s desk rang so I was spared listening to how guilty she stil felt about having to let me go.

I glanced at the clock on El a’s wal and thanked whatever guardian angel looked out for Gifted PIs.

Right on time!

“What’s that?” El a spoke into the phone. “Can’t he come here to my office? Oh. Sure. Of course. I’l be right there.” She hung up and headed for the door. “Someone out in the lobby needs to see me,”

she said. “And whoever it is, he won’t give a name or come down here. Has to see me out there. I’l be right back.”

And by the time she was, I hoped I’d be done doing what I had to do.

What I was feeling more and more guilty about doing with every jar of spaghetti sauce and every (gulp) turquoise sundress.

What I had to do, anyway.

I told myself not to forget it, and before El a’s door closed behind her, I got to work. Somewhere in the office, I knew El a kept the keys to the mausoleums that were no longer in family hands.