Wilde Forever (Wilde Women Book 1) (30 page)

A few minutes later she was standing slack-jawed in the center of the remodeled bathroom when he returned.

“Oh Jax,” she gushed. “This is going to be amazing!” Before she realized what she was doing, Brynn threw herself into his arms and wrapped him in a tight hug. Smiling broadly into his surprised expression she uttered a heartfelt, “Thank you.”

He didn’t seem to know how to take the compliment so he kind of shrugged and shuffled his feet like a big kid. “It’s just a bathroom, Brynn.”

“Good Lord, are you kidding? Closets, more storage,
and
a shower? Every girl’s secret dream!”

Laughing, he hugged her back. “You’re easily pleased, woman!”

“Care to prove that point with my feet in your lap?”

“You’re on!” he barked with gleeful ferocity but instead of allowing her to walk past him, he suddenly picked her up and quite literally tossed her over his shoulder as she shrieked with surprise. The added ass swat, the second in just a few minutes, brought back Rhi’s teasing Butt Whacker remark.

When they got to the den, Jax dumped her onto the sofa then stood back and leered at her because the action caused her dress to ride up her thighs exposing almost all of her bare legs. Smirking like an idiot, he playfully tried to rearrange her dress while also copping a feel of her panties. She swatted at his hand and cried, “Unhand me you brute!” like an outraged virgin.

“Eh, you fucking love it,” he joked. “Get your ass comfortable and I’ll grab your tea. Then after I get you good and relaxed, we can negotiate the cock sucking you promised.”

Brynn howled with laughter as Jax headed to the kitchen calling after him, “Grab my purse, will you? I think I heard my phone go off.”

He returned less than a minute later, holding her phone with the oddest expression on his face. “What in the hell is this?” he asked as he tossed the phone into her lap.

Curious as to what got his shorts in a knot so quickly she looked down and almost vapor locked when she saw that the photo on her home screen had been changed to a picture of her in the naughty skintight dress she’d worn from Rhi’s closet. Oh crap. Not good. She was going to murder her sister.

Caught off guard she stumbled all over the place with her answer. “Oh. Uh. That’s one of Rhiann’s designer outfits. I was, uh … just trying it on.”

“Did you wear that in public, Brynn?” Jax asked with deadly calm in his voice.

“Um. Yes?”

His face lost most of its color. “You’re fucking kidding me right?”

Brynn sat up quickly and desperately searched for the right words. “Look, we were going out to a club and Rhi has all these fabulous clothes from her job so we got dressed up. It really wasn’t a big deal.”

“Are there any more pictures like that one?”

Unease slithered along her spine. How the fuck did she know?
Shit.
She hadn’t even been aware of this picture. When she hesitated, he told her pointedly to open her photos up and see.

If she’d been smarter maybe she would have tried to deflect his attention away from her questionable wardrobe choice but being totally without game when it came to these matters, she rather foolishly did as he commanded and brought up her photo file. What met her eyes was more damning than anything her imagination conjured up.

Brynn’s face must have given her away because Jax’s hand shot out and he growled, “Let me see.”

“I can explain,” she muttered uneasily as he snatched the damn phone from her hand.

The silence in the room was ear-splitting it was so loud. After swiping his finger across the screen several times he stopped, blanched, and then pinned her to the spot with a fierce look.

“Am I correct in assuming that you didn’t have any underwear on?”

“What?” Holy crap. This wasn’t good.

“Brynn. Answer me. Did you wear that dress in public without panties on?”

She glanced at the damning photo on the screen and wanted to die. Snapped at exactly the wrong moment as she was reaching into the top of Rhi’s closet, standing in those damn high heels, her butt cheeks were fully exposed.
Uh oh.

Brynn didn’t know what to say. She
had
gone commando but only because the dress was so freaking tight, panty lines would have made the damn thing even worse.

All of a sudden, Jax pivoted on a booted heel and stomped off. She heard the door open, then slam shut followed by the sound of his truck starting up.

“Oh my God,” she groaned. “What have I done?”

Jax had been driving aimlessly for about an hour before he came back to his senses. The moment he realized that Brynn had been sashaying around New York City in a dress any porn star would have been happy to wear without any goddamn panties on, he’d almost lost his shit. Even the suggestion that other men had been around her when she was so exposed wrecked him. But not because he was mad at her. He was unglued because he should have been there with her, keeping an eye on the situation and making sure she was okay.

Goddammit. Anything could have happened. When he saw that picture and realized what it represented, the jolt of protective possession that gripped him propelled his feet toward the door before he lost his damn mind and did or said something he shouldn’t. He already knew Brynn had a piss poor grasp on her own safety—something he definitely should have taken into account when she announced she was heading off into the city.

It was perfectly natural that she’d want to party with her sister and knowing her the way he did, their adventures had probably been pretty innocent. He certainly didn’t blame her for acting like a twenty-eight-year-old female out to have a good time with her sibling. What was eating him up was the unexpected surge of overprotectiveness he was feeling. She was his goddammit, but by letting her loose in the city with no protection, he’d dropped the ball in a big way.

Pulling off the road into a convenience store gas station, Jax parked in an out of the way corner of the lot and shut off the truck. His thoughts were wandering far too much for him to be behind the wheel of a five thousand pound moving object. He couldn’t concentrate on the road when his mind was hurling accusations that were crammed full of ‘what if’ scenarios. The sort of shit he knew triggered his anxiety.

Unfortunately, knowing that and being able to keep all that ugly shit at bay were two different things, something he’d learned from the intensive counseling and therapy he’d undergone to ease him through his post-war issues. Going there in his mind couldn’t be helped—not because he was losing control, but because the way he felt about Brynn had opened up a whole new fuck ton of possibilities he’d never dealt with before.

He shut his eyes and tried to breathe his way out of the anxiety building deep in his core but all that did was fire up a bunch of all-too-vivid scenes from his imagination of Brynn in a nightclub. Lights flashing. Music booming. Laughing, dancing, drinking. Then the darkness started gathering. He saw nameless, faceless men leering at her, whispering dirty words and having ugly thoughts. His hands clenched at his sides while he ground his teeth in anger.

Jax knew that in Brynn’s mind, she had all her bases covered. She hadn’t been alone, imagining that two women together were somehow safer than being by herself. She was the type who imagined that just by saying she had control over the situation she could avoid any problems. But Jax knew better. Knew that there was evil in this world that didn’t give a crap about her imagined defenses. He’d seen too damn much to be that naïve and that was what was killing him.

Sweat started pouring off him when a bonfire of horrific images crowded his thoughts. Brynn being groped by unseen hands on the dance floor. An odorless, tasteless drug dropped in her drink. Being cornered in the dark hallway while walking from the ladies’ room and dragged outside into a dirty alleyway. Her cries for help as evil assaulted her body and terrorized her mind. Left beaten and bloody on the filthy pavement as laughing men kicked her away and went off to find another victim.

Jax knew all about that sort of cruel, monstrous side to life but yet he hadn’t protected her. He’d seen firsthand the type of sick depravity that was possible in this world. Been witness to bodies with their heads removed, seen the aftermath of sending kids strapped with explosives into a busy marketplace, and heard the wailing cries of women shrouded in black screaming for help to heaven and a god who didn’t listen. This was a core issue for him. Even though nothing had happened, he’d failed Brynn. That was why he ran away.

She was the light shining in the shadows of his soul. For the first time ever he felt an honest connection to another human being besides his family and instead of putting her needs and safety above everything else, he’d been incredibly stupid. He was in love with her and as impossible and improbable as that sounded, it was the God’s honest truth. Brynn Wilde had changed his life with her slightly uptight, take-no-shit approach. He’d shown her a glimpse into the dark places inside him and yet she was still there. Why the hell was that?

He was no catch by any means. Yeah, he had an embarrassingly healthy bank account but nothing about his lifestyle or the way he conducted himself suggested he was anything other than a blue collar kind of working guy who made a living through hard work and sweat. Even though from their first intimate moment he’d taken all she had to offer and then some, she hadn’t pushed him away. Didn’t make him feel like a brute, a beast. In fact, the more he revealed about his true self, the less she tried to keep up a wall between them. She kept on giving, he kept on taking, and when it counted, he’d stuck his head up his ass and let her out of his sight. What kind of man did that?

Maybe pursuing a relationship with Brynn wasn’t what was best for her. Not if he couldn’t look himself in the eye when he knew damn well he’d let her down.
Fuck.
Maybe he actually was so damaged that thinking he was worthy of a woman like her was the real fool’s errand. He had a lot of thinking to do.

Brynn was sure she had worn a path from the door, across the porch, and down to the lawn by how many times she’d paced back and forth along that route. Jax had been gone for far too long. Where the hell was he? Worried that he wasn’t coming back, she was frantic with regret and beating herself up for having been so fucking stupid.

She didn’t blame him for being furious with her. Seeing her night on the town with Rhi through his eyes, Brynn knew how totally insane and risky their behavior must have been. Having a bit of fun was one thing, but she already knew how he felt about her loosey-goosey attitude toward her own safety. Truth was, those things just never really occurred to her, but tempting fate by flirting with a potentially dangerous situation had been just plain dumb. Every woman liked to think she could take care of herself but…it was the ‘but’ that should have stopped her.

Nighttime had fallen. The shadows made by moonlight shining through the trees, which a few nights ago seemed romantic and beautiful, looked dark and menacing. Brynn’s heart was thumping wildly and her breathing was shallow and almost painful. Jackson Merrill had done more than seduce her body, he’d slipped behind her carefully constructed emotional firewalls and set up camp close to her heart. The thought scared her as much as, if not more than, the idea of his anger. She didn’t want to need him like she did, but it was a little too late to try and deny what she was feeling.

Tears flooded her eyes.
Goddammit.
Her life felt like it was beginning to spin out of control. Rhiann was acting weird no matter how hard she tried to cover that fact up. Charlie was off who knows where doing God only knew what. Her parents were apparently at odds over the manipulative nonsense Nana was brewing. By her own doing, she was overworked and under the gun, twenty-four seven. There was a remodel project happening in a house she quite possibly had no right to and the only man she had ever felt was her equal, someone who infuriated and excited her in the same breath, was rejecting her because of something she’d done.

It was all too much but the only thing she could care about at the moment was the man and none of that other stuff. Twisting her fingers in anxiety as she paced, Brynn sent a silent prayer heavenward. A plea to bring Jax back and give her a chance to explain, to make things right, and to hopefully repair the damage her foolishness had wrought.