Wilder, Winona - Loving Tyler [Coming Out 3] (Siren Publishing Everlasting Classic ManLove) (13 page)

Maybe country living wouldn’t be as bad as he imagined. Being at one with nature, living by his own rules—it was a tempting prospect. They settled into a trot as they neared their destination. The distant fields were a stunning yellow, almost unnatural in their brilliance. These were the kinds of miracles he never got the joy of experiencing at home in the concrete jungle.

“Whoa…”
Tyler
pulled his horse to a stop and leapt down onto two booted feet. “This seems like a nice spot.” He brushed back his waves of brown hair from his face and reached up to help Marcus down. His eyes seemed to glow green as they reflected the bright white cloud cover.

“So peaceful.”

“I’m all yours until we head back into town.” He dropped down to his back and positioned his arms behind his head. “I’ll admit I’m a bit frightened about what you want to talk about.”

“Why?”

“I have a feeling you’re gonna try and convince me to move back to the city with you.”

What he wanted to talk to
Tyler
about was the distance he kept between them, however subtle. The way he’d dismissed him originally, as if Marcus was disposable, was done for a reason. Had he been hurt in a past relationship? He wanted to assure
Tyler
he had no plans on hurting him, that he was in this for the long haul. His own parents had been married forever, and he had the same sense of commitment hardwired into him.

They were about to take a huge leap forward, so he had to feel secure in his decision. To be certain
Tyler
wasn’t being fickle when it came to their relationship.

“Not necessarily. The country’s kind of growing on me.” He sat down beside
Tyler
and hugged his knees. The air was sweet, the wind creating a wave through the distant barley fields.

“So you’ll stay with me this time? I can’t imagine you traveling the circuit. Cheap motels, no air-conditioning, greasy spoons…you’ll be miserable.”

“What are you saying? That’s it? We should go our separate ways before we even start?”

Tyler
tugged him over until he lost balance and fell to his back. “Look at the sky. Ain’t it beautiful? I used to search for shapes in the clouds when I was a kid. They’re never the same, constantly changing and drifting to new locations—”

“Like you?” He turned to look at the cowboy.

“I suppose. It’s not the life I want. I mean, doesn’t every man want it all? Love, sex, security, happiness?”

“I’m offering you that. I’m giving you everything I am, but you need to do the same.”

Tyler
rolled to his side and kissed Marcus on the cheek. “Anything you want, it’s yours.”

“It’s not enough. I want you.” He placed his hand on
Tyler
’s heart. “What’s in here.”

Rather than follow him down the road of happily ever after, the cowboy abruptly got to his feet, dragging both hands through his hair. He looked rattled, ready to lose precious control. “It’s ugly in there, Marcus. Some things are better left alone. Darlin’, I’ve given up smoking, bulls, men, my whole life as I know it…ain’t that enough for you?”

“No.”

“What the fuck do you want? You ask for things I can’t possibly give you.”

Marcus wasn’t going to bow out this time. He liked
Tyler
taking the lead in their relationship, craved it, but it was time to make a stand. Marcus rose to his feet and got nearly chest to chest with the other man. “You’re not the only one giving up things. I was about to make partner at Cavendish! Do you realize how much cash I’d have coming in if that happened? I have a luxury condo, half paid off. Back home I had order, routine, and security. What do I have now? Horseshit and bedbugs?”

“You just told me you wanted me, were willing to give up everything. You sound pretty resentful for a man ready to turn his life around.”

“I’m only resentful because I’m ready to give one-hundred percent, but you’re only offering seventy-five. Is that fair?”

“Well maybe you’d be happier with your piles of money. For God’s sake, if you think money can buy love, more power to you!” He stormed off towards the horses. Marcus followed and spun him around by the shoulder.

“I’m the one ready to give up the money—for you! Doesn’t that mean anything to you, Tyler James?” Marcus grabbed him by the shirt, shaking and tugging, desperate to get through to him. Fear of losing the best thing in his life, and an equal fear of settling down with an emotionally distant man, left him terrified and desperate.

Tyler
laughed with little true humor. “You trying to hurt me, city boy?” He even held out his arms to the side, offering himself as a punching bag, as if there was no way Marcus could hurt him. Without thinking, he pulled back his elbow and gave the cowboy one to remember right in the gut. He coughed and doubled over, grabbing his stomach. Marcus expected him to retaliate, knock him into next month. He feared what
Tyler
was capable of, being the stronger of the two. This time he laughed with full mirth. “You’ve got a good arm, darlin’.”

“You aren’t going to hit me back?” Part of him wanted
Tyler
to fight him, to bring their anger to a pinnacle and see where it took them.

“I’d never hurt you.”
Tyler
cupped his face and kissed him with more passion than he’d ever known. Marcus’s heart was still beating hard, his breathing ragged. With all the adrenaline spiking through his body, mixed with heightened emotion, he was completely susceptible to the erotic advance.

* * * *

His little angel had fire. And it turned him on. He’d always had issues distinguishing genuine emotion from sex, but in this case, he knew he loved Marcus. He couldn’t live without the city boy.

“You’re adorable when you’re angry,” he said.

Marcus smirked. “I’m supposed to be mad at you.”

He leaned against him, seeking comfort and affection. For once in his life
Tyler
was eager to give it. He ran his hands through Marcus’s silky hair. “I want to be honest with you. I’m trying…but it’s not easy.”

Marcus led him by the hand to their spot on the grass. Such a simple act of hand-holding was, in many ways, more powerful than sex.
Tyler
tugged off Marcus’s shirt, and then lay down on the soft ground. “What?”

“Come straddle me. I wanna look at you when we talk.”

He obliged him, lowering over
Tyler
’s middle, sitting partially on the erect cock straining in his jeans. “Okay, talk to me.” It was distracting watching Marcus, the sunlight making his golden skin shine, highlighting the lines of his muscled frame.

This had to happen. He’d keep holding back to protect Marcus only to end up losing him again. “My childhood wasn’t a fairy tale. I accept that. But when I was fifteen I was sent to a new foster home…” He swallowed hard, squeezing Marcus’s thighs. Revealing these details of his life made him feel weak, less of a man. These were the demons in his closet, but they were also a real life nightmare. “They were homophobic. Beyond that. It was more like a raw hatred and they focused all that hate on me—the father and the two sons. Those boys did some wicked things to me, things that I don’t even want your sweet ears to hear.”

“None of that’s your fault.”

“Doesn’t matter. I took off as soon as I turned of age, but they’re determined to ruin me. Those white trash miscreants are jealous of my success. They don’t believe fags belong in the rodeo. The man you saw at my truck when my tires were slashed was one of my foster brothers.”

Marcus’s face blanched. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I was scared. Not for me, but for you. If they know how much I love you, I don’t doubt they’d hurt you just to bring me more pain.”

“You should have told me. We’re a team, and we’ll get through this together. Have you told the police about them?”

“This ain’t the city. There’s an unwritten rule on the prairies to take care of yourself, to handle your own business. Only lily-livered men would run to the cops. It’s the same reason I never did tears or told the authorities when I was a teen, under their rule. Cowboys aren’t supposed to cry. If anything, they made a man of me.”

Marcus shook his head. “No, that’s not making you a man. That’s sick.” He tenderly rubbed his stomach. “Does it hurt?”

“I’m fine. I welcome
your
punishment.”
Tyler
smiled.

“I never want to hurt you. I want to help.”

Marcus leaned over, pressing his body flat against his. He kissed his neck, sweet individual kisses. “There’s nothing you can do, sweet thing. Just let me take care of you.”

Chapter Twelve

“I feel like a fish out of water.”
Tyler
gazed out the passenger side window as they drove through the gridlock traffic. They’d gotten a lot accomplished in the two days since arriving in the city. After the
Smithfield
rodeo closed up, Marcus took
Tyler
with him to settle his affairs. His condo was now officially on the market for sale, not that he’d ever had a soft spot for the place. He’d also stopped in to Cavendish and talked with his boss about his future with the company. Although he half expected to lose his job, he was offered a position as a part-time recruiter. Since him and
Tyler
would be visiting different rodeos around the neighboring states, there would be plenty of opportunities for him to sign up new talent for Cavendish.

There was one thing he did require—roots. He’d give up the notion if it meant losing
Tyler
, but he had the feeling the cowboy needed them just as much as him. Maybe more. Marcus wanted to be everything
Tyler
never had. He wanted to offer him unconditional love, acceptance, and understanding for as long as he had breath.

“Where will go? The next event isn’t for two weeks.”

“Wherever you want. You know I’m using to traveling.”

Marcus merged into the left-hand lane. He wanted to stop by his cousin Franco’s apartment to leave him a set of keys for emergencies until his condo sold. “I’m not. Don’t you ever crave settling down in one place?”

“Doesn’t make sense when you work the circuit.”

“But you’re not single anymore, and not getting any younger. Besides, come November, you have no events until late spring.”

Tyler
kept quiet for the remainder of the drive. Marcus pulled into the visitor’s parking at Franco’s apartment complex and got out.

“You want me to come up or wait here?”

He leaned into the open driver’s side window and glared at his cowboy. “Of course I want you to come with me. I’m not ashamed of you.” Far from it.
Tyler
was God’s gift to men from his strong jaw and fuck-me eyes, to those broad shoulders and tailored waist. He could also rock denim like no other. Marcus was proud to have him as a significant other, even though he wasn’t quite ready to reveal his sexuality to his parents, and probably never would be. He wasn’t naïve enough to believe he could change the world just because he’d finally learned to accept himself.

Tyler
rolled out his big body as he stood, stretching out all those delicious muscles. Before they could walk to the entrance,
Tyler
held him back. Leaning against the car, he held him loosely on the hips. “About what you said earlier, I do want to settle down. I can just imagine having out own little piece of paradise. It’s just…complicated.”

Marcus sighed, knowing just how complicated their lives would be, but still willing to risk it all for the love of
Tyler
. “We’ll talk about it tonight.”

They took the elevator up to the twelfth floor. His heart began to pump harder the closer they got. He watched the floors light up on the control panel bringing them closer to their destination. Of all his relatives, Franco seemed the most likely to accept his alternative lifestyle. He wasn’t into the old ways of the Vinetti family but embraced modern conveniences and partied like the best of them. Although they’d been close growing up, they’d lost that connection over the years. Marcus blamed himself. He was so busy with his career and blinded by his introverted ways and secrets.
Tyler
was changing all that.