Wildflower (Colors #4) (24 page)

“It’s
not bullshit
!” I shot, spinning around in the passenger seat to pin him with a glare. “As far as I’m concerned, you got off easy. You should be thanking God Kyle’s dad didn’t decide to press charges. It’s three months of chores on their ranch until you’ve worked off the cost of the replacement parts he’s going to have to buy. That’s fucking
lucky
Ethan. And if you don’t see that, then we’ve got some serious problems.”

Noah, to his credit, managed to stay silent throughout the entire exchange at the station
and
in the car. Even though I could tell, by the white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel and the ticking in his jaw, that he had a very shaky grip on his anger toward my brother.

“But it was Kyle’s idea!” Ethan cried out.

“And if Kyle decided to jump off a cliff, would you follow after him?” At that, I gasped. “Oh God. Now you have me talking in bullshit, clichéd analogies!” I turned back in my seat and began rubbing at my temples. “This night just keeps getting worse and worse,” I mumbled to myself as I worked to stave off my impending headache.

Thankfully, the remainder of the car ride was silent. However, the blessed silence was short lived once the three of us stepped into Grammy’s house.

Just inside the doorway, I turned to face Ethan. “What the hell’s gotten into you, Ethan? This isn’t you. This isn’t my little brother. I want to know what’s happened to bring this on.”

He let out a humorless bark of laughter. “Like you have any idea who I am. What, because you’ve always been here, Low-Low? That’s a fucking joke,” he spit, anger and sarcasm masking something else in his eyes.

“Ethan,” I whispered broken-heartedly at the same time Noah snapped.

In a low, menacing growl, he warned, “You better watch your mouth, boy. And show your sister some fuckin’ respect.”

“Wow,” Ethan continued with his sarcasm. “Hypocrite much?

A deep, furious rumble emanated from Noah’s chest as the two of them stood only inches apart. “Ethan, please,” I started, shoving my way between them both. “Talk to me.”

“Don’t act like you care now!” He took a step back and skewered me with a look so hard it stabbed into my skin and left me bleeding. “You’ve been gone for years! You don’t get to come back here and tell me what I should do or how I should act, like you actually give a shit!”

“I
do
give a shit!” I yelled back.

“Whatever,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “For how long this time? A week? Maybe I’ll luck out and you’ll be here for a month, yeah? Or maybe you guys will break up again and you’ll take off without saying a damn thing. Just like you did the last time!”

I said his name as I reached for him, wanting nothing more in that moment than to wrap my baby brother, my shrimp, up in my arms and hold him until all the hurt went away. “I’m sorry,” I whispered as a tears slid down my cheek. “I’m so, so sorry for leaving you like that.”

Ethan’s top lip curled in a snarl as he moved toward the stairs. “I’m going to bed. I have
chores
to do tomorrow.”

And with that, he left, stomping up the stairs and slamming his door so loud it echoed through the entire house.

“I really screwed up with him,” I spoke to no one in particular.

I felt Noah’s heat at my back before he squeezed me in a tight hug. “He’ll get past this, Harlow. You both will.”

My eyes stayed on the stairs as my heart continued to break. “You sure about that?”

“I’m positive. He’s a good kid and you’re a great sister. He’s just going through a tough time right now. You’ll lead him out.”

His words were meant to be soothing, but I had trouble believing him.

What if Noah was wrong?

What if I’d already hurt Ethan too much to come back from?

What if I managed to screw up his life without even knowing it?

But the one thing that swung around in the back of my mind, poking at the fresh wound in my heart was
what if Ethan never forgave me
?

Ethan had walked out the door the following morning without so much as speaking a word to me. He didn’t get back until dinnertime, covered in dirt from whatever Kyle’s father made him and Kyle do at the ranch that day, and went straight to his bedroom. I’d gone up to try and talk him into coming down to get something to eat, but my knocking and calling went unanswered.

I know he ate something after I’d gone to bed, because the sound of his door creaking open and his heavy footfalls on the wood floors reverberated off the walls in the hallway.

Sunday went very much the same as Saturday. The unfortunate thing about Ethan’s timing was that he’d picked the start of Christmas break to screw up massively, meaning the whole two weeks he was out of school were filled with nothing but chores and grounding. Other than Christmas and New Year’s Day, he was working his fingers to the bone. On those two days, the most I’d gotten was a few minutes of my brother’s company before he finally headed back to the isolation of his bedroom. To say our holidays weren’t all that merry or bright would have been a massive understatement. Each day passed like the one before it. If it hadn’t been for the fact that Chloe and Noah came over for a short while on Christmas day—I made sandwiches that time, not wanting to risk salmonella poisoning—it would have been so easy to forget that it was the holidays.

And so went every day for the next two weeks.

By the time the weekend rolled around two weeks after the wreck, I was a jumbled mess of nerves and concerns. I’d voiced my worries to Noah every chance I got—which wasn’t much, seeing as I made a solid effort to be home whenever my brother was—that Ethan wasn’t coming around.

We called and texted, and there were some days that Noah came over to spend time with me before Ethan got home from the ranch. We would lay in my bed after having sex, wrapped around each other’s naked bodies, and I’d confide in Noah everything that was bothering me until he had to leave before Ethan got home. That was one thing we agreed on after how my brother had acted that night. We weren’t trying to hide our relationship from Ethan, but we were both making a strong effort to take his feelings into consideration, working slowly to ease him into the realization that Noah and I were something more than just friends.

He tried to be supportive. He tried to be my shoulder to lean on. But he just kept saying the same thing.

He’s a teenage boy.

He’ll get over it.

Just give him time.

But with each passing day and no spoken words, I grew more and more disheartened.

Another thing that was plaguing me was my relationship with Noah. It wasn’t that things were going bad. It was quite the opposite, as a matter of fact; things were great. Comfortable, fun, secure. And because of all of that, I was scared to death, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Noah made sure to tell me he loved me, but I never felt pressure from him to say it back. It was the fact that I hadn’t that sat so heavily on my mind. I just couldn’t bring myself to say those three little words.

Even though I knew, down to my soul, that I felt it as well.

And to make matters worse, I had seemed to have come down with a nasty bug that didn’t want to let go.

It was two Saturdays after Ethan’s little stunt, and it was the first time that weekend I’d felt able to get out of the house.

“Oh, sweetie,” Chloe cooed as I walked into Sinful Sweets. “You look like hell warmed over.”

“Thanks,” I deadpanned as I plopped down on one of the stools across the counter from her. “You’re an asshole.”

She gave me a tinkling giggle and leaned against the counter. “Sorry, but it’s the truth, babe. You still battling that stomach bug?”

“Yes,” I mumbled, resting my elbows on the counter and holding my forehead in my hands. “If I’m not puking I’m sleeping. I swear, it’s like it’s getting worse. I just can’t seem to shake it.”

“Well, working with a bunch of dirty kids will do that to you.”

“You’re telling me,” I grunted. “If I could find out which kid gave me this shit, I’d kick their ass.”

“And you’re a teacher. Shaping the minds of our youth.”

“Think you can stop being a smart ass long enough to make me a coffee?” I asked.

Pushing away from the counter, she grabbed one of the paper cups embossed with the Sinful Sweets logo that were stacked together and headed for the espresso machine. “What are you in the mood for today?”

“Ugh. Just black, please. I’m afraid to put anything in my stomach, but I need a caffeine boost like crazy.”

Chloe filled the cup and set it down in front of me. “Wow. Don’t think I’ve ever seen you take your coffee black. Intravenously, sure. But never black. You want something to eat? I just took a whole batch of cranberry and orange coffee cakes out of the oven a few minutes ago.”

Typically, I would have jumped at the chance for anything out of Chloe’s kitchen. But for some insane reason, that particular food combination had my face scrunching up in distaste. Nowadays, nothing was sounding good.

“No thanks. I think I’ll stick with saltines for a few more days. Hopefully I’m at the end of this virus.”

“Okay, hon. But if you’re not better by mid-week, I think you should see a doctor. This has been going on for more than a week now.”

With a promise to do as I was told, I grabbed my coffee and headed back home, desperately in need of my bed and my comfy flannel pajamas.

Ethan was at the ranch all day and Noah was at the gym, having been banned from my presence until whatever I had cleared up on the off-chance it was contagious. The house was silent and with the cloudy, gray sky that was calling for more snow, it was the perfect setting for a nap.

I’d managed to get changed and was snuggling down into my covers when someone started banging on the front door.

“Son of a bitch,” I muttered. I pulled the covers over my head in the hopes that whoever it was would just go away. The knocking continued, growing louder and louder, leaving me no choice but to acknowledge the asshole that was cutting into my sleepy time.

“I’m coming!” I shouted as I tromped down the stairs. “Swear to God, someone better be dead in a ditch somewhere or I’m kicking your—”

“Surprise!” Navie squealed just as I yanked the door open, ready to lay into someone’s ass.

“Ohmigod!” I squealed back, momentarily forgetting the illness that seemed to be slowly draining the life from my body. “What are you doing here?” We pulled each other into a tight embrace right there on the front porch, swaying side to side as we hopped up and down.

“Well,” she began, pulling back to look at me. “I really missed you so I took a few days to come for a visit. I figured we could talk wedding shit and you could catch me up on everything that’s been going on here! Like why you’re in grownup footy pajamas at two o’clock in the afternoon,” she finished just as her denim colored eyes completed a full body sweep. “Jeez, babe. You look like hell.”

“And you’re looking like someone who wants to shell out the extra money for a hotel,” I snapped, my hands firmly on my hips.

“Seriously,” she continued, oblivious to my attitude. “What’s wrong with you? Are you sick?”

With a roll of my eyes, I pushed the front door open wider and waved her in, telling her, “I think it’s just some sort of virus.”

Navie parked her rolling suitcase right inside the foyer and reached up to palm my forehead, immediately going into mother hen mode. “Have you been running a fever?” she asked as she tilted my head from side to side, looking at me closely. For what, I had no idea.

“Uh…” I stared down at my tiny, strange friend. “No. No fever. Just some nausea and vomiting in the mornings and early afternoons and some serious fatigue. That’s been the worst.”

A tiny snort-laugh bubbled up from her throat. “If I didn’t know you were Celibate Sally, I’d think you were pregnant.”

“Pfft,” I laughed. “That’s not possib… wait…”

Oh no. Oh, God. Oh, shit. Oh no no no no no no!

“Har? Hello?” Navie waved her hands in front of my face. “It was just a joke, babe. You have to have sex in order to…
No
!” she finished with an astonished gasp. “You didn’t! You did! Oh, my God! Did you?”