William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (343 page)
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Authors: William Shakespeare
Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare
BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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ULYSSES
This challenge that the gallant Hector sends,
However it is spread in general name,
Relates in purpose only to Achilles.
However it is spread in general name,
Relates in purpose only to Achilles.
NESTOR
The purpose is perspicuous, even as substance
Whose grossness little characters sum up.
And, in the publication, make no strain
But that Achilles, were his brain as barren
As banks of Libya—though, Apollo knows,
’Tis dry enough—will with great speed of judgement,
Ay with celerity, find Hector’s purpose
Pointing on him.
Whose grossness little characters sum up.
And, in the publication, make no strain
But that Achilles, were his brain as barren
As banks of Libya—though, Apollo knows,
’Tis dry enough—will with great speed of judgement,
Ay with celerity, find Hector’s purpose
Pointing on him.
ULYSSES
And wake him to the answer, think you?
NESTOR
Yes, ‘tis most meet. Who may you else oppose,
That can from Hector bring his honour off,
If not Achilles? Though’t be a sportful combat,
Yet in this trial much opinion dwells,
For here the Trojans taste our dear’st repute
With their fin‘st palate. And trust to me, Ulysses,
Our imputation shall be oddly poised
In this wild action: for the success,
Although particular, shall give a scantling
Of good or bad unto the general—
And in such indices, although small pricks
To their subsequent volumes, there is seen
The baby figure of the giant mass
Of things to come at large. It is supposed
He that meets Hector issues from our choice,
And choice, being mutual act of all our souls,
Makes merit her election, and doth boil,
As ’twere, from forth us all a man distilled
Out of our virtues—who miscarrying,
What heart from hence receives the conqu‘ring part
To steel a strong opinion to themselves?
Which entertained, limbs are e’en his instruments,
In no less working than are swords and bows
Directive by the limbs.
That can from Hector bring his honour off,
If not Achilles? Though’t be a sportful combat,
Yet in this trial much opinion dwells,
For here the Trojans taste our dear’st repute
With their fin‘st palate. And trust to me, Ulysses,
Our imputation shall be oddly poised
In this wild action: for the success,
Although particular, shall give a scantling
Of good or bad unto the general—
And in such indices, although small pricks
To their subsequent volumes, there is seen
The baby figure of the giant mass
Of things to come at large. It is supposed
He that meets Hector issues from our choice,
And choice, being mutual act of all our souls,
Makes merit her election, and doth boil,
As ’twere, from forth us all a man distilled
Out of our virtues—who miscarrying,
What heart from hence receives the conqu‘ring part
To steel a strong opinion to themselves?
Which entertained, limbs are e’en his instruments,
In no less working than are swords and bows
Directive by the limbs.
ULYSSES Give pardon to my speech:
Therefore ’tis meet Achilles meet not Hector.
Let us like merchants show our foulest wares
And think perchance they’ll sell. If not,
The lustre of the better yet to show
Shall show the better. Do not consent
That ever Hector and Achilles meet,
For both our honour and our shame in this
Are dogged with two strange followers.
Let us like merchants show our foulest wares
And think perchance they’ll sell. If not,
The lustre of the better yet to show
Shall show the better. Do not consent
That ever Hector and Achilles meet,
For both our honour and our shame in this
Are dogged with two strange followers.
NESTOR
I see them not with my old eyes. What are they?
ULYSSES
What glory our Achilles shares from Hector,
Were he not proud we all should wear with him.
But he already is too insolent,
And we were better parch in Afric sun
Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,
Should he scape Hector fair. If he were foiled,
Why then we did our main opinion crush
In taint of our best man. No, make a lott’ry,
And by device let blockish Ajax draw
The sort to fight with Hector. Among ourselves
Give him allowance as the worthier man—
For that will physic the great Myrmidon,
Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall
His crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends.
If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off,
We’ll dress him up in voices; if he fail,
Yet go we under our opinion still
That we have better men. But hit or miss,
Our project’s life this shape of sense assumes:
Ajax employed plucks down Achilles’ plumes.
Were he not proud we all should wear with him.
But he already is too insolent,
And we were better parch in Afric sun
Than in the pride and salt scorn of his eyes,
Should he scape Hector fair. If he were foiled,
Why then we did our main opinion crush
In taint of our best man. No, make a lott’ry,
And by device let blockish Ajax draw
The sort to fight with Hector. Among ourselves
Give him allowance as the worthier man—
For that will physic the great Myrmidon,
Who broils in loud applause, and make him fall
His crest, that prouder than blue Iris bends.
If the dull brainless Ajax come safe off,
We’ll dress him up in voices; if he fail,
Yet go we under our opinion still
That we have better men. But hit or miss,
Our project’s life this shape of sense assumes:
Ajax employed plucks down Achilles’ plumes.
NESTOR
Now, Ulysses, I begin to relish thy advice,
And I will give a taste of it forthwith
To Agamemnon. Go we to him straight.
Two curs shall tame each other; pride alone
Must tarre the mastiffs on, as ’twere their bone.
And I will give a taste of it forthwith
To Agamemnon. Go we to him straight.
Two curs shall tame each other; pride alone
Must tarre the mastiffs on, as ’twere their bone.
Exeunt
Enter Ajax and Thersites
AJAX Thersites.
THERSITES Agamemnon—how if he had boils, full, all over, generally?
AJAX Thersites.
THERSITES And those boils did run? Say so, did not the General run then? Were not that a botchy core?
AJAX Dog.
THERSITES Then there would come some matter from him.
I see none now.
AJAX Thou bitch-wolf’s son, canst thou not hear? Feel then.
He strikes Thersites
THERSITES The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!
AJAX Speak then, thou unsifted leaven, speak! I will beat thee into handsomeness.
THERSITES I shall sooner rail thee into wit and holiness. But I think thy horse will sooner con an oration than thou learn a prayer without book.
⌈
Ajax strikes him
⌉
Thou canst strike, canst thou? A red murrain o’ thy jade’s tricks.
AJAX Toad’s stool!
⌈
He strikes Thersites
⌉
Learn me the proclamation.
THERSITES Dost thou think I have no sense, thou strikest me thus?
AJAX The proclamation.
THERSITES Thou art proclaimed a fool, I think.
AJAX Do not, porcupine, do not. My fingers itch.
THERSITES I would thou didst itch from head to foot. An I had the scratching of thee, I would make thee the loathsomest scab in Greece.
AJAX I say, the proclamation.
THERSITES Thou grumblest and railest every hour on Achilles, and thou art as full of envy at his greatness as Cerberus is at Proserpina’s beauty, ay, that thou barkest at him.
AJAX Mistress Thersites.
THERSITES Thou shouldst strike him.
AJAX Cobloaf.
THERSITES He would pun thee into shivers with his fist, as a sailor breaks a biscuit.
AJAX You whoreson cur.
⌈
He strikes Thersites
⌉
THERSITES Do! Do!
AJAX Thou stool for a witch.
⌈
He strikes Thersites
⌉
THERSITES Ay, do, do! Thou sodden-witted lord, thou hast in thy skull no more brain than I have in mine elbows. An asnico may tutor thee. Thou scurvy valiant ass, thou art here but to thrash Trojans, and thou art bought and sold among those of any wit like a barbarian slave. If thou use to beat me, I will begin at thy heel and tell what thou art by inches, thou thing of no bowels, thou.
AJAX You dog.
THERSITES You scurvy lord.
AJAX You cur.
⌈
He strikes Thersites
⌉
THERSITES Mars his idiot! Do, rudeness! Do, camel, do, do!
Enter Achilles and Patroclus
ACHILLES
Why, how now, Ajax? Wherefore do ye thus?
How now, Thersites? What’s the matter, man?
How now, Thersites? What’s the matter, man?
THERSITES You see him there? Do you?
ACHILLES Ay. What’s the matter?
THERSITES Nay, look upon him.
ACHILLES So I do. What’s the matter?
THERSITES Nay, but regard him well.
ACHILLES ‘Well’? Why, I do so.
THERSITES But yet you look not well upon him. For whosomever you take him to be, he is Ajax.
ACHILLES I know that, fool.
THERSITES Ay, but ‘that fool’ knows not himself.
AJAX Therefore I beat thee.
THERSITES Lo, lo, lo, lo, what modicums of wit he utters.
His evasions have ears thus long. I have bobbed his brain more than he has beat my bones. I will buy nine sparrows for a penny, and his pia mater is not worth the ninth part of a sparrow. This lord, Achilles—Ajax, who wears his wit in his belly and his guts in his head—I’ll tell you what I say of him.
ACHILLES What?
THERSITES I say, this Ajax—
⌈
Ajax threatens to strike him
⌉
ACHILLES Nay, good Ajax.
THERSITES Has not so much wit—
⌈
Ajax threatens to strike him
⌉
ACHILLES (
to Ajax
) Nay, I must hold you.
to Ajax
) Nay, I must hold you.
THERSITES As will stop the eye of Helen’s needle, for whom he comes to fight.
ACHILLES Peace, fool.
THERSITES I would have peace and quietness, but the fool will not. He, there, that he, look you there.
AJAX O thou damned cur I shall—
ACHILLES (
to Ajax
) Will you set your wit to a fool’s?
to Ajax
) Will you set your wit to a fool’s?
THERSITES No, I warrant you, for a fool’s will shame it.
PATROCLUS Good words, Thersites.
ACHILLES (
to Ajax
) What’s the quarrel?
to Ajax
) What’s the quarrel?
AJAX I bade the vile owl go learn me the tenor of the proclamation, and he rails upon me.
THERSITES I serve thee not.
AJAX Well, go to, go to.
THERSITES I serve here voluntary.
ACHILLES Your last service was sufferance. ‘Twas not voluntary: no man is beaten voluntary. Ajax was here the voluntary, and you as under an impress.
THERSITES E’en so. A great deal of your wit, too, lies in your sinews, or else there be liars. Hector shall have a great catch an a knock out either of your brains. A were as good crack a fusty nut with no kernel.
ACHILLES What, with me too, Thersites?
THERSITES There’s Ulysses and old Nestor, whose wit was mouldy ere your grandsires had nails on their toes, yoke you like draught oxen and make you plough up the war.
ACHILLES What? What?
THERSITES Yes, good sooth. To Achilles! To, Ajax, to—
AJAX I shall cut out your tongue.
THERSITES ’Tis no matter. I shall speak as much wit as thou afterwards.
PATROCLUS No more words, Thersites, peace.
THERSITES I will hold my peace when Achilles’ brach bids me, shall I?
ACHILLES There’s for you, Patroclus.
THERSITES I will see you hanged like clodpolls ere I come any more to your tents. I will keep where there is wit stirring, and leave the faction of fools.
Exit
PATROCLUS A good riddance.
ACHILLES (
to Ajax
)
to Ajax
)
Marry, this, sir, is proclaimed through all our host:
That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun,
Will with a trumpet ‘twixt our tents and Troy
Tomorrow morning call some knight to arms
That hath a stomach, and such a one that dare
Maintain—I know not what. ’Tis trash. Farewell.
That Hector, by the fifth hour of the sun,
Will with a trumpet ‘twixt our tents and Troy
Tomorrow morning call some knight to arms
That hath a stomach, and such a one that dare
Maintain—I know not what. ’Tis trash. Farewell.
AJAX Farewell. Who shall answer him?
ACHILLES
I know not. ‘Tis put to lott’ry. Otherwise,
He knew his man. ⌈
Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus
⌉
He knew his man. ⌈
Exeunt Achilles and Patroclus
⌉
AJAX O, meaning you? I will go learn more of it.
⌈
Exit
⌉
2.2 ⌈Exit
⌉
Sennet
.⌉
Enter King Priam, Hector, Troilus, Paris, and Helenus
PRIAM
After so many hours, lives, speeches spent,
Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks:
‘Deliver Helen, and all damage else—
As honour, loss of time, travail, expense,
Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is consumed
In hot digestion of this cormorant war—
Shall be struck off.’ Hector, what say you to’t?
Thus once again says Nestor from the Greeks:
‘Deliver Helen, and all damage else—
As honour, loss of time, travail, expense,
Wounds, friends, and what else dear that is consumed
In hot digestion of this cormorant war—
Shall be struck off.’ Hector, what say you to’t?
HECTOR
Though no man lesser fears the Greeks than I,
As far as toucheth my particular, yet, dread Priam,
There is no lady of more softer bowels,
More spongy to suck in the sense of fear,
More ready to cry out, ‘Who knows what follows?’
Than Hector is. The wound of peace is surety,
Surety secure; but modest doubt is called
The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches
To th’ bottom of the worst. Let Helen go.
Since the first sword was drawn about this question,
Every tithe-soul, ’mongst many thousand dimes,
Hath been as dear as Helen—I mean, of ours.
If we have lost so many tenths of ours
To guard a thing not ours—nor worth to us,
Had it our name, the value of one ten—
What merit’s in that reason which denies
The yielding of her up?
As far as toucheth my particular, yet, dread Priam,
There is no lady of more softer bowels,
More spongy to suck in the sense of fear,
More ready to cry out, ‘Who knows what follows?’
Than Hector is. The wound of peace is surety,
Surety secure; but modest doubt is called
The beacon of the wise, the tent that searches
To th’ bottom of the worst. Let Helen go.
Since the first sword was drawn about this question,
Every tithe-soul, ’mongst many thousand dimes,
Hath been as dear as Helen—I mean, of ours.
If we have lost so many tenths of ours
To guard a thing not ours—nor worth to us,
Had it our name, the value of one ten—
What merit’s in that reason which denies
The yielding of her up?
TROILUS
Fie, fie, my brother!
Weigh you the worth and honour of a king
So great as our dread father in a scale
Of common ounces? Will you with counters sum
The past-proportion of his infinite,
And buckle in a waist most fathomless
With spans and inches so diminutive
As fears and reasons? Fie, for godly shame!
Weigh you the worth and honour of a king
So great as our dread father in a scale
Of common ounces? Will you with counters sum
The past-proportion of his infinite,
And buckle in a waist most fathomless
With spans and inches so diminutive
As fears and reasons? Fie, for godly shame!
HELENUS
No marvel though you bite so sharp at reasons,
You are so empty of them. Should not our father
Bear the great sway of his affairs with reason
Because your speech hath none that tells him so?
You are so empty of them. Should not our father
Bear the great sway of his affairs with reason
Because your speech hath none that tells him so?
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