LEAR No.
FOOL Nor I neither; but I can tell why a snail has a house.
LEAR Why?
FOOL Why, to put his head in, not to give it away to his daughter and leave his horns without a case.
LEAR
I will forget my nature. So kind a father!
Be my horses ready?
FOOL Thy asses are gone about them. The reason why the seven stars are no more than seven is a pretty reason.
LEAR Because they are not eight.
FOOL Yes. Thou wouldst make a good fool.
LEAR
To take’t again perforce—monster ingratitude!
FOOL If thou wert my fool, nuncle, I’d have thee beaten for being old before thy time.
LEAR How’s that?
FOOL Thou shouldst not have been old before thou hadst been wise.
LEAR
O, let me not be mad, sweet heaven!
I would not be mad.
Keep me in temper. I would not be mad.
Are the horses ready?
SERVANT Ready, my lord.
LEAR (
to Fool
) Come, boy.
Exeunt Lear and Servant
FOOL
She that is maid now, and laughs at my departure,
Shall not be a maid long, except things be cut shorter.
Exit
Sc. 6
Enter Edmund the bastard, and Curan, meeting
EDMUND Save thee, Curan.
CURAN And you, sir. I have been with your father, and given him notice that the Duke of Cornwall and his duchess will be here with him tonight.
EDMUND How comes that?
CURAN Nay, I know not. You have heard of the news abroad?—I mean the whispered ones, for there are yet but ear-bussing arguments.
EDMUND Not. I pray you, what are they?
CURAN Have you heard of no likely wars towards twixt the two Dukes of Cornwall and Albany?
EDMUND Not a word.
CURAN You may then in time. Fare you well, sir.
Exit
EDMUND
The Duke be here tonight! The better, best.
This weaves itself perforce into my business.
⌈
Enter Edgar at a window above
⌉
My father hath set guard to take my brother,
And I have one thing of a queasy question
Which must ask briefness. Wit and fortune help!—
Brother, a word. Descend, brother, I say.
My father watches. O, fly this place.
Intelligence is given where you are hid.
You have now the good advantage of the night.
Have you not spoken ‘gainst the Duke of Cornwall
aught?
He’s coming hither now, in the night, i’th’ haste,
And Regan with him. Have you nothing said
Upon his party against the Duke of Albany?
Advise you—
EDGAR I am sure on’t, not a word.
EDMUND
I hear my father coming. Pardon me.
In cunning I must draw my sword upon you.
Seem to defend yourself. Now, quit you well.
(
Calling
) Yield, come before my father. Light here,
here!
(
To Edgar
) Fly, brother, fly! (
Calling
) Torches, torches!
(
To Edgar
) So, farewell.
Exit Edgar
Some blood drawn on me would beget opinion
Of my more fierce endeavour.
I have seen
Drunkards do more than this in sport. (
Calling
) Father,
father!
Stop, stop! Ho, help!
Enter the Duke of Gloucester
⌈
and others
⌉
GLOUCESTER Now, Edmund, where is the villain?
EDMUND
Here stood he in the dark, his sharp sword out,
Warbling of wicked charms, conjuring the moon
To stand ’s auspicious mistress.
GLOUCESTER But where is he?
EDMUND
Look, sir, I bleed.
GLOUCESTER Where is the villain, Edmund?
EDMUND
Fled this way, sir, when by no means he could—
GLOUCESTER
Pursue him, go after.
Exeunt others
EDMUND
Persuade me to the murder of your lordship,
But that I told him the revengive gods
’Gainst parricides did all their thunders bend,
Spoke with how manifold and strong a bond
The child was bound to the father. Sir, in fine,
Seeing how loathly opposite I stood
To his unnatural purpose, with fell motion,
With his prepared sword he charges home
My unprovided body, lanced mine arm;
But when he saw my best alarumed spirits
Bold in the quarrel’s rights, roused to the encounter,
Or whether ghasted by the noise I made
Or ⌈ ⌉ I know not,
But suddenly he fled.
GLOUCESTER Let him fly far,
Not in this land shall he remain uncaught,
And found, dispatch. The noble Duke my master,
My worthy arch and patron, comes tonight.
By his authority I will proclaim it
That he which finds him shall deserve our thanks,
Bringing the murderous caitiff to the stake;
He that conceals him, death.
EDMUND
When I dissuaded him from his intent
And found him pitched to do it, with curst speech
I threatened to discover him. He replied,
‘Thou unpossessing bastard, dost thou think
If I would stand against thee, could the reposure
Of any trust, virtue, or worth in thee
Make thy words faithed? No, what I should deny—
As this I would, ay, though thou didst produce
My very character—I’d turn it all
To thy suggestion, plot, and damned pretence,
And thou must make a dullard of the world
If they not thought the profits of my death
Were very pregnant and potential spurs
To make thee seek it.’
GLOUCESTER Strong and fastened villain!
Would he deny his letter? I never got him.
Hark, the Duke’s trumpets. I know not why he comes.
All ports I’ll bar. The villain shall not scape.
The Duke must grant me that; besides, his picture
I will send far and near, that all the kingdom
May have note of him—and of my land,
Loyal and natural boy, I’ll work the means
To make thee capable.
Enter the Duke
of
Cornwall and Regan
CORNWALL
How now, my noble friend? Since I came hither,
Which I can call but now, I have heard strange news.
REGAN
If it be true, all vengeance comes too short
Which can pursue the offender. How dost, my lord?
GLOUCESTER
Madam, my old heart is cracked, is cracked.
REGAN
What, did my father’s godson seek your life?
He whom my father named, your Edgar?
GLOUCESTER
Ay, lady, lady; shame would have it hid.
REGAN
Was he not companion with the riotous knights
That tend upon my father?
GLOUCESTER
I know not, madam. ’Tis too bad, too bad.
EDMUND Yes, madam, he was.
REGAN
No marvel, then, though he were ill affected.
’Tis they have put him on the old man’s death,
To have the spoil and waste of his revenues.
I have this present evening from my sister
Been well informed of them, and with such cautions
That if they come to sojourn at my house
I’ll not be there.
CORNWALL Nor I, assure thee, Regan.
Edmund, I heard that you have shown your father
A childlike office.
EDMUND ’Twas my duty, sir.
GLOUCESTER (
to Cornwall
)
He did betray his practice, and received
This hurt you see striving to apprehend him.
CORNWALL
Is he pursued?
GLOUCESTER Ay, my good lord.
CORNWALL
If he be taken, he shall never more
Be feared of doing harm. Make your own purpose
How in my strength you please. For you, Edmund,
Whose virtue and obedience doth this instant
So much commend itself, you shall be ours.
Natures of such deep trust we shall much need.
You we first seize on.
EDMUND I shall serve you truly,
However else.
GLOUCESTER (
to Cornwall
) For him I thank your grace.
CORNWALL
You know not why we came to visit you—
REGAN
This out-of-season threat’ning dark-eyed night-
Occasions, noble Gloucester, of some poise,
Wherein we must have use of your advice.
Our father he hath writ, so hath our sister,
Of differences which I least thought it fit
To answer from our home. The several messengers
From hence attend dispatch. Our good old friend,
Lay comforts to your bosom, and bestow
Your needful counsel to our business,
Which craves the instant use.
GLOUCESTER I serve you, madam.
Your graces are right welcome.
Exeunt
Sc. 7
Enter the Earl of Kent, disguised, at one door, and Oswald the steward, at another door
OSWALD Good even to thee, friend. Art of the house?
KENT Ay.
OSWALD Where may we set our horses?
KENT I’th’ mire.
OSWALD Prithee, if thou love me, tell me.
KENT I love thee not.
OSWALD Why then, I care not for thee.
KENT If I had thee in Lipsbury pinfold I would make thee care for me.
OSWALD Why dost thou use me thus? I know thee not.
KENT Fellow, I know thee.
OSWALD What dost thou know me for?
KENT A knave, a rascal, an eater of broken meats, a base, proud, shallow, beggarly, three-suited, hundred-pound, filthy worsted-stocking knave; a lily-livered, action-taking knave; a whoreson, glass-gazing, superfinical rogue; one-trunk-inheriting slave; one that wouldst be a bawd in way of good service, and art nothing but the composition of a knave, beggar, coward, pander, and the son and heir of a mongrel bitch, whom I will beat into clamorous whining if thou deny the least syllable of the addition.
OSWALD What a monstrous fellow art thou, thus to rail on one that’s neither known of thee nor knows thee!
KENT What a brazen-faced varlet art thou, to deny thou knowest me! Is it two days ago since I beat thee and tripped up thy heels before the King? Draw, you rogue; for though it be night, the moon shines.
I’ll make a sop of the moonshine o’ you. Draw, you whoreson, cullionly barber-monger, draw!
OSWALD Away. I have nothing to do with thee.
KENT Draw, you rascal. You bring letters against the King, and take Vanity the puppet’s part against the royalty of her father. Draw, you rogue, or I’ll so carbonado your shanks—draw, you rascal, come your ways!
OSWALD Help, ho, murder, help!
KENT Strike, you slave! Stand, rogue! Stand, you neat slave, strike!
OSWALD Help, ho, murder, help!
Enter Edmund the bastard with his rapier drawn,
⌈
then
⌉
the Duke of Gloucester,
⌈
then
⌉
the Duke of Cornwall and Regan the Duchess
EDMUND ⌈
parting them
⌉ How now, what’s the matter?
KENT With you, goodman boy. An you please come, I’ll flesh you. Come on, young master.
GLOUCESTER Weapons? Arms? What’s the matter here?
CORNWALL Keep peace, upon your lives. He dies that strikes again. What’s the matter?
REGAN The messengers from our sister and the King.
CORNWALL (
to Kent and Oswald
) What’s your difference? Speak.