William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (414 page)

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Authors: William Shakespeare

Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare

BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition

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Have more than thou showest,
Speak less than thou knowest,
Lend less than thou owest,
Ride more than thou goest,
Learn more than thou trowest,
Set less than thou throwest,
Leave thy drink and thy whore,
And keep in-a-door,
And thou shalt have more
Than two tens to a score.

LEAR This is nothing, fool.

FOOL Then, like the breath of an unfee’d lawyer, you gave me nothing for’t. Can you make no use of nothing, uncle?

LEAR Why no, boy. Nothing can be made out of nothing.

FOOL (to Kent) Prithee, tell him so much the rent of his land comes to. He will not believe a fool. 130

LEAR A bitter fool.

FOOL Dost know the difference, my boy, between a bitter fool and a sweet fool?

LEAR No, lad. Teach me.

FOOL ⌈
sings
⌉

That lord that counselled thee To give away thy land,
Come, place him here by me;
Do thou for him stand.
The sweet and bitter fool
Will presently appear,
The one in motley here,
The other found out there.

LEAR Dost thou call me fool, boy?

FOOL All thy other titles thou hast given away. That thou wast born with.

KENT (to Lear) This is not altogether fool, my lord.

FOOL No, faith; lords and great men will not let me. If I had a monopoly out, they would have part on’t, and ladies too, they will not let me have all the fool to myself—they’ll be snatching. Give me an egg, nuncle, and I’ll give thee two crowns.

LEAR What two crowns shall they be?

FOOL Why, after I have cut the egg in the middle and eat up the meat, the two crowns of the egg. When thou clovest thy crown i‘th’ middle and gavest away both parts, thou borest thy ass o’th’ back o’er the dirt. Thou hadst little wit in thy bald crown when thou gavest thy golden one away. If I speak like myself in this, let him be whipped that first finds it so.

⌈
Sings
⌉

Fools had ne’er less wit in a year,
For wise men are grown foppish.
They know not how their wits do wear,
Their manners are so apish.

LEAR When were you wont to be so full of songs, sirrah?

FOOL I have used it, nuncle, ever since thou madest thy daughters thy mother; for when thou gavest them the rod and puttest down thine own breeches,

⌈
Sings
⌉

Then they for sudden joy did weep, And I for sorrow sung,
That such a king should play bo-peep
And go the fools among.

Prithee, nuncle, keep a schoolmaster that can teach thy fool to lie. I would fain learn to lie.

LEAR An you lie, we’ll have you whipped.

FOOL I marvel what kin thou and thy daughters are. They’ll have me whipped for speaking true, thou wilt have me whipped for lying, and sometime I am whipped for holding my peace. I had rather be any kind of thing than a fool; and yet I would not be thee, nuncle. Thou hast pared thy wit o’ both sides and left nothing in the middle.

Enter Gonoril

Here comes one of the parings.

LEAR

How now, daughter, what makes that frontlet on?
Methinks you are too much o’ late i’th’ frown.

FOOL Thou wast a pretty fellow when thou hadst no need to care for her frown. Now thou art an O without a figure. I am better than thou art, now. I am a fool; thou art nothing. ⌈
To Gonoril
⌉ Yes, forsooth, I will hold my tongue; so your face bids me, though you say nothing.

⌈
Sings
⌉

Mum, mum. He that keeps neither crust nor crumb,
Weary of all, shall want some.

That’s a shelled peascod.

GONORIL (
to Lear
)

Not only, sir, this your all-licensed fool,
But other of your insolent retinue
Do hourly carp and quarrel, breaking forth
In rank and not-to-be-endured riots.
Sir, I had thought by making this well known unto
you
To have found a safe redress, but now grow fearful,
By what yourself too late have spoke and done,
That you protect this course, and put it on
By your allowance; which if you should, the fault
Would not scape censure, nor the redress sleep
Which in the tender of a wholesome weal
Might in their working do you that offence,
That else were shame, that then necessity
Must call discreet proceedings.

FOOL (
to Lear
) For, you trow, nuncle,

⌈
Sings
⌉

The hedge-sparrow fed the cuckoo so long
That it had it head bit off by it young;

so out went the candle, and we were left darkling.

LEAR (
to Gonoril
) Are you our daughter?

GONORIL

Come, sir, I would you would make use of that good
wisdom
Whereof I know you are fraught, and put away
These dispositions that of late transform you
From what you rightly are.

FOOL May not an ass know when the cart draws the horse? ⌈
Sings
⌉ ‘Whoop, jug, I love thee!’

LEAR

Doth any here know me? Why, this is not Lear.
Doth Lear walk thus, speak thus? Where are his eyes?
Either his notion weakens, or his discernings
Are lethargied. Sleeping or waking, ha?
Sure, ’tis not so.
Who is it that can tell me who I am?
Lear’s shadow? I would learn that, for by the marks
Of sovereignty, knowledge, and reason
I should be false persuaded I had daughters.

FOOL Which they will make an obedient father.

LEAR (
to Gonoril
)

Your name, fair gentlewoman?

GONORIL Come, sir,

This admiration is much of the savour
Of other your new pranks. I do beseech you
Understand my purposes aright,
As you are old and reverend, should be wise.
Here do you keep a hundred knights and squires,
Men so disordered, so debauched and bold
That this our court, infected with their manners,
Shows like a riotous inn, epicurism
And lust make more like to a tavern, or brothel,
Than a great palace. The shame itself doth speak
For instant remedy. Be thou desired,
By her that else will take the thing she begs,
A little to disquantity your train,
And the remainder that shall still depend
To be such men as may besort your age,
That know themselves and you.

LEAR Darkness and devils!

Saddle my horses, call my train together!—

⌈
Exit one or more
⌉

Degenerate bastard, I’ll not trouble thee.
Yet have I left a daughter.

GONORIL

You strike my people, and your disordered rabble
Make servants of their betters.

Enter the Duke of Albany

LEAR

We that too late repent‘s—O sir, are you come?
Is it your will that we—prepare my horses.

⌈
Exit one or more
⌉

Ingratitude, thou marble-hearted fiend,
More hideous when thou show’st thee in a child
Than the sea-monster—(
to Gonoril
) detested kite, thou
liest.
My train are men of choice and rarest parts,
That all particulars of duty know,
And in the most exact regard support
The worships of their name. O most small fault,
How ugly didst thou in Cordelia show,
That, like an engine, wrenched my frame of nature
From the fixed place, drew from my heart all love,
And added to the gall! O Lear, Lear!
Beat at this gate that let thy folly in
And thy dear judgement out.—Go, go, my people!

ALBANY

My lord, I am guiltless as I am ignorant.

LEAR

It may be so, my lord. Hark, nature, hear:
Dear goddess, suspend thy purpose if
Thou didst intend to make this creature fruitful.
Into her womb convey sterility.
Dry up in her the organs of increase,
And from her derogate body never spring
A babe to honour her. If she must teem,
Create her child of spleen, that it may live
And be a thwart disnatured torment to her.
Let it stamp wrinkles in her brow of youth,
With cadent tears fret channels in her cheeks,
Turn all her mother’s pains and benefits
To laughter and contempt, that she may feel—
That she may feel
How sharper than a serpent’s tooth it is
To have a thankless child.—Go, go, my people!

Exeunt Lear,
⌈
Kent, Fool
,
and servants
⌉

ALBANY

Now, gods that we adore, whereof comes this?

GONORIL

Never afflict yourself to know the cause,
But let his disposition have that scope
That dotage gives it.

Enter King Lear
⌈
and his Fool
⌉

LEAR

What, fifty of my followers at a clap?
Within a fortnight?

ALBANY What is the matter, sir?

LEAR

I’ll tell thee. (
To Gonoril
) Life and death! I am
ashamed
That thou hast power to shake my manhood thus,
That these hot tears, that break from me perforce
And should make thee—worst blasts and fogs upon
thee!
Untented woundings of a father’s curse
Pierce every sense about thee! Old fond eyes,
Beweep this cause again I’ll pluck you out
And cast you, with the waters that you make,
To temper clay. Yea,
Is’t come to this? Yet have I left a daughter
Whom, I am sure, is kind and comfortable.
When she shall hear this of thee, with her nails
She’ll flay thy wolvish visage. Thou shalt find
That I’ll resume the shape which thou dost think
I have cast off for ever; thou shalt, I warrant thee.

Exit

GONORIL Do you mark that, my lord?

ALBANY

I cannot be so partial, Gonoril,
To the great love I bear you—

GONORIL Come, sir, no more.—

You, more knave than fool, after your master!

FOOL Nuncle Lear, nuncle Lear, tarry, and take the fool with thee.

A fox when one has caught her,
And such a daughter,
Should sure to the slaughter,
If my cap would buy a halter.
So, the fool follows after.

Exit

GONORIL What, Oswald, ho!

Enter Oswald

OSWALD Here, madam.

GONORIL

What, have you writ this letter to my sister?

OSWALD Yes, madam.

GONORIL

Take you some company, and away to horse.
Inform her full of my particular fears,
And thereto add such reasons of your own
As may compact it more. Get you gone,
And after, your retinue.

Exit Oswald

Now, my lord,
This milky gentleness and course of yours,
Though I dislike not, yet under pardon
You’re much more ataxed for want of wisdom
Than praised for harmful mildness.

ALBANY

How far your eyes may pierce I cannot tell.
Striving to better aught, we mar what’s well.

GONORIL Nay, then—

ALBANY Well, well, the event.
Exeunt

Sc. 5
Enter King Lear, the Earl of Kent disguised, and Lear’s Fool

LEAR ⌈
to Kent
⌉ Go you before to Gloucester with these letters. Acquaint my daughter no further with anything you know than comes from her demand out of the letter. If your diligence be not speedy, I shall be there before you.

KENT I will not sleep, my lord, till I have delivered your letter.

Exit

FOOL If a man’s brains were in his heels, were’t not in danger of kibes?

LEAR Ay, boy.

FOOL Then, I prithee, be merry: thy wit shall ne’er go slipshod.

LEAR Ha, ha, ha!

FOOL Shalt see thy other daughter will use thee kindly, for though she’s as like this as a crab is like an apple, yet I con what I can tell.

LEAR Why, what canst thou tell, my boy?

FOOL Why, to keep his eyes on either side ’s nose, that what a man cannot smell out, a may spy into.

LEAR I did her wrong.

FOOL Canst tell how an oyster makes his shell?