William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition (427 page)

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Authors: William Shakespeare

Tags: #Drama, #Literary Criticism, #Shakespeare

BOOK: William Shakespeare: The Complete Works 2nd Edition
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POET (
presenting a poem to Timon
)
Vouchsafe my labour, and long live your lordship!
TIMON
I thank you. You shall hear from me anon.
Go not away. (To Painter) What have you there, my
friend?
PAINTER
A piece of painting, which I do beseech
Your lordship to accept.
TIMON Painting is welcome.
The painting is almost the natural man;
For since dishonour traffics with man’s nature,
He is but outside; these pencilled figures are
Even such as they give out. I like your work,
And you shall find I like it. Wait attendance
Till you hear further from me.
PAINTER The gods preserve ye!
TIMON
Well fare you, gentleman. Give me your hand.
We must needs dine together.
(To Jeweller)
Sir, your jewel
Hath suffered under praise.
JEWELLER What, my lord, dispraise?
TIMON
A mere satiety of commendations.
If I should pay you for’t as ’tis extolled
It would unclew me quite.
JEWELLER My lord, ’tis rated
As those which sell would give; but you well know
Things of like value differing in the owners
Are prized by their masters. Believe’t, dear lord,
You mend the jewel by the wearing it.
TIMON Well mocked.
MERCHANT
No, my good lord, he speaks the common tongue
Which all men speak with him.
Enter Apemantus
 
TIMON Look who comes here.
Will you be chid?
JEWELLER We will bear, with your lordship.
MERCHANT He’ll spare none.
TIMON
Good morrow to thee, gentle Apemantus.
APEMANTUS
Till I be gentle, stay thou for thy good morrow—
When thou art Timon’s dog, and these knaves honest.
TIMON
Why dost thou call them knaves? Thou know’st them
not.
APEMANTUS Are they not Athenians?
TIMON Yes.
APEMANTUS Then I repent not.
JEWELLER You know me,
Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
Thou know’st I do. I called thee by thy name.
TIMON Thou art proud, Apemantus!
APEMANTUS Of nothing so much as that I am not like Timon.
TIMON Whither art going?
APEMANTUS To knock out an honest Athenian’s brains.
TIMON That’s a deed thou’It die for.
APEMANTUS Right, if doing nothing be death by th’ law.
TIMON
How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS The best for the innocence.
TIMON
Wrought he not well that painted it?
APEMANTUS He wrought better that made the painter, and yet he’s but a filthy piece of work.
PAINTER You’re a dog.
APEMANTUS Thy mother’s of my generation. What’s she, if I be a dog?
TIMON Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS No, I eat not lords.
TIMON An thou shouldst, thou’dst anger ladies.
APEMANTUS O, they eat lords. So they come by great bellies.
TIMON
That’s a lascivious apprehension.
APEMANTUS
So thou apprehend’st it; take it for thy labour.
TIMON
How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.
TIMON
What dost thou think ’tis worth?
APEMANTUS Not worth my thinking.
How now, poet?
POET How now, philosopher?
APEMANTUS Thou liest.
POET Art not one?
APEMANTUS Yes.
POET Then I lie not.
APEMANTUS Art not a poet?
POET Yes.
APEMANTUS Then thou liest. Look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow.
POET That’s not feigned, he is so.
APEMANTUS Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy labour. He that loves to be flattered is worthy o’th’ flatterer. Heavens, that I were a lord!
TIMON What wouldst do then, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS E’en as Apemantus does now: hate a lord with my heart.
TIMON What, thyself?
APEMANTUS Ay.
TIMON Wherefore?
APEMANTUS That I had no augury but to be a lord.-Art not thou a merchant?
MERCHANT Ay, Apemantus.
APEMANTUS
Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not!
MERCHANT If traffic do it, the gods do it.
APEMANTUS
Traffic’s thy god, and thy god confound thee!
Trumpet sounds. Enter a Messenger
 
TIMON What trumpet’s that?
MESSENGER
’Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty horse
All of companionship.
TIMON (
to Servants
)
Pray entertain them. Give them guide to us.
[
Exit one or more Servants
]
 
[
To Jeweller
] You must needs dine with me.
[
To Poet
] Go not you hence
Till I have thanked you. [
To Painter
] When dinner’s done
Show me this piece. [
To all
] I am joyful of your sights.
Enter Alcibiades
with
[
his horsemen
]
Most welcome, sir!
APEMANTUS [
aside
] So, so, there.
Aches contract and starve your supple joints!
That there should be small love ’mongst these sweet
knaves,
And all this courtesy! The strain of man’s bred out
Into baboon and monkey.
ALCIBIADES (to Timon)
Sir, you have saved my longing, and I feed
Most hungrily on your sight.
TIMON Right welcome, sir!
Ere we depart, we’ll share a bounteous time
In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.
Exeunt all but Apemantus
Enter two Lords
 
FIRST LORD
What time o’ day is’t, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS
Time to be honest.
FIRST LORD That time serves still.
APEMANTUS
The most accursed thou, that still omitt’st it.
SECOND LORD
Thou art going to Lord Timon’s feast?
APEMANTUS
Ay, to see meat fill knaves, and wine heat fools.
SECOND LORD Fare thee well, fare thee well.
APEMANTUS
Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.
SECOND LORD Why, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.
FIRST LORD Hang thyself
APEMANTUS No, I will do nothing at thy bidding. Make thy requests to thy friend.
SECOND LORD Away, unpeaceable dog, or I’ll spurn thee hence.
APEMANTUS I will fly, like a dog, the heels o’th’ ass.
Exit
FIRST LORD
He’s opposite to humanity. Come, shall we in,
And taste Lord Timon’s bounty? He outgoes
The very heart of kindness.
SECOND LORD
He pours it out. Plutus the god of gold
Is but his steward; no meed but he repays
Sevenfold above itself; no gift to him
But breeds the giver a return exceeding
All use of quittance.
FIRST LORD The noblest mind he carries
That ever governed man.
SECOND LORD
Long may he live in fortunes! Shall we in?
⌈FIRST LORD⌉ I’ll keep you company. Exeunt
1.2
Hautboys playing loud music. A great banquet served in,

Flavius and Servants attending

; and then enter Timon, Alcibiades, the Senators, the Athenian Lords, and Ventidius which Timon redeemed from prison. Then comes, dropping after all, Apemantus, discontentedly, like himself
 
VENTIDIUS
Most honoured Timon, it hath pleased the gods to
remember
My father’s age and call him to long peace.
He is gone happy, and has left me rich.
Then, as in grateful virtue I am bound
To your free heart, I do return those talents,
Doubled with thanks and service, from whose help
I derived liberty.
TIMON O, by no means,
Honest Ventidius. You mistake my love.
I gave it freely ever, and there’s none
Can truly say he gives if he receives.
If our betters play at that game, we must not dare
To imitate them. Faults that are rich are fair.
VENTIDIUS
A noble spirit!

The Lords stand with ceremony

 
TIMON Nay, my lords,
Ceremony was but devised at first
To set a gloss on faint deeds, hollow welcomes,
Recanting goodness, sorry ere ’tis shown;
But where there is true friendship, there needs none.
Pray sit. More welcome are ye to my fortunes
Than my fortunes to me.

They sit

 
FIRST LORD
My lord, we always have confessed it.
APEMANTUS
Ho, ho, confessed it? Hanged it, have you not?
TIMON
O, Apemantus! You are welcome.
APEMANTUS No,
You shall not make me welcome.
I come to have thee thrust me out of doors.
TIMON
Fie, thou‘rt a churl. Ye’ve got a humour there
Does not become a man; ’tis much to blame.
They say, my lords,
Ira furor brevis est,
But yon man is ever angry.
Go, let him have a table by himself,
For he does neither affect company
Nor is he fit for’t, indeed.
APEMANTUS
Let me stay at thine apperil, Timon.
I come to observe, I give thee warning on’t.
TIMON
I take no heed of thee; thou’rt an Athenian,
Therefore welcome. I myself would have no power:
Prithee, let my meat make thee silent.
APEMANTUS I scorn thy meat. ‘Twould choke me, for I should ne’er flatter thee. O you gods, what a number of men eats Timon, and he sees ‘em not! It grieves me to see so many dip their meat in one man’s blood; and all the madness is, he cheers them up, too. I wonder men dare trust themselves with men. Methinks they should invite them without knives: Good for their meat, and safer for their lives. There’s much example for’t. The fellow that sits next him, now parts bread with him, pledges the breath of him in a divided draught, is the readiest man to kill him. ’T’as been proved. If I were a huge man, I should fear to drink at meals, Lest they should spy my windpipe’s dangerous notes. Great men should drink with harness on their throats.
TIMON (
drinking to a Lord
)
My lord, in heart; and let the health go round.
SECOND LORD
Let it flow this way, my good lord.
APEMANTUS ‘Flow this way’? A brave fellow; he keeps his tides well. Those healths will make thee and thy state look ill, Timon.
Here’s that which is too weak to be a sinner:
Honest water, which ne‘er left man i’th’ mire.
This and my food are equals; there’s no odds.
Feasts are too proud to give thanks to the gods.
Apemantus’ grace
Immortal gods, I crave no pelf.
I pray for no man but myself.
Grant I may never prove so fond
To trust man on his oath or bond,
Or a harlot for her weeping,
Or a dog that seems a-sleeping,
Or a keeper with my freedom,
Or my friends if I should need ’em.
Amen. So fall to’t.
Rich men sin, and I eat root.

He eats

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