Willow Grove Abbey (44 page)

“Don’t be absurd.
I am flawed, just like every other human. Nevertheless, your reasoning is beyond the pale. Yes, I do believe in the Ten Commandments. You do not need to be a religious fanatic to believe in a simple blueprint for living. Do you believe in nothing?”

“I believe in love. I believe in being positive and thinking positively. I
do not allow negative thoughts to enter into my life. Negativity causes sadness and illness. I keep my body in harmony. I concentrate upon what is good in my life…and my relationship with your father is good.”

“Love isn’t destructive, Edwina. Love is kind.
There is nothing kind about what you and Papa are doing and have done. You are hurting people. You may not believe in negativity, but you’re causing other people to feel terrible pain and that is negative.”

“What about your anger? Is that kind and loving,” she shot back.

“Edwina, there is such a thing as ‘righteous anger.’ If there has ever been a time for righteous anger it is here and now.”

“Who are Nigel and I
hurting? Your mother? She deserves to be hurt. She’s an evil person.”

“I know you believe that, and I know better than anyone that
Mummy can and has caused a lot of pain. Nevertheless, that does not mean that she is evil. I used to think as you do, but I do not any longer, because I have grown up, and apparently, you have not. I understand her immensely better, and know with certainty that she suffers from a personality disorder. And, even if it were true that she really is evil, that doesn’t give you license to pass judgment upon her, nor to impose your own sentence upon her.”

“You’re speaking drivel,
Sophia. I’m afraid our points of view differ greatly, and I really don’t want to continue discussing this.” She turned and resumed her packing, shaking her head, as though she could not fathom that a fool like me was trying to convince her of anything
. I wanted to slap her silly.

“Edwina, I want the answer to one, final question,” I continued.

Edwina gave an exasperated sigh. “What question?” she asked

“I want the truth about Kippy. Is he
Papa’s son?”

“Do you honestly think I’d tell you if he were?” she replied, with a catlike s
mile.

“I’d hope you’d be that decent, yes.”

“You can wonder about Kippy’s paternity until Hell freezes over,” Edwina said, between clenched teeth.

“You told
me a long while ago, on the telephone, when you were still in Paris, that you were certain that Kippy was Dieters child. Was that a lie too?”

“I guess you won’t ever know, will you,” she snickered.

Tears began to roll down my cheeks, and I brushed them aside in anger and frustration. “What on Earth did I ever do to deserve this from you, Edwina? What became of our friendship? Our loyalty to one another?”

“Oh stop being so dra
matic and stop feeling sorry for yourself. No one has done anything to you. You have your precious Spence, Isabella and all off the money anyone could ever want. You do not have any idea what it is like to be on the outside looking in. Well, I do. And I don’t ever intend to be in that position again.”

“Edwina!
You have never been on the outside looking in! You have wonderful parents. Had a happy upbringing. You have never wanted for anything. Your father is highly successful. This is idiotic talk.”

“Oh yes,
he’s successful. However, not nobility. You think it never mattered that I couldn’t be presented at Court. That I was not good enough to bow to the King. You think it didn’t matter that I watched your life in this ages’ old mansion and never compared it to my own home…That I did not look on with longing when I saw the way your family lives. The cars, hotels, gourmet restaurants, servants, chauffeurs, and on and on and on. You’re so spoiled rotten that you have no idea that there are others who’d give anything to live as you do.”

“So it’s about
money and status, is it?” I said, astounded

“Yes, quite
. . . well… yes, and no. I do care about Nigel, and I am not giving him up. I need him. Nevertheless, I love everything about him, and that includes his title and his wealth. Moreover, if that makes me crass, then so be it. My son will never know what it is like not to be part of that revered class that you so take for granted. My son will have what I did not. I’ll marry your father, and Kippy will have a title.”

“Then you’re saying that Kippy
is
Papa’s son.”

“I’
m not saying anything. That is a private matter, and you will never know. Nevertheless, it has no importance.

“Well,
Miss Edwina, you’re showing your ignorance of English Law. Whether Papa adopts Kippy or not, Kippy will never have a Title. Unless one is married to the titled individual at the time of the child’s birth, then he cannot inherit the title, or any title. You are forgetting one other small detail. I have two brothers. Even if Kippy is Papa’s son, there are two elder sons who take precedent, and you were not married at the time of Kippy’s birth. Have you never heard of the Law of Primogeniture? It clears states all of what I’ve just said.”

“
Yes, certainly I’ve heard of it. However, I do not think that either of your brothers has any desire to live at
Willow Grove Abbey.
Furthermore, you are the one who mentioned the
Married Women’s Property Act.
Actually, that act more appropriately could apply to me. If Nigel ends up marrying me, and eventually I am widowed, I would have widow’s rights. I would own all of the property, and could make my own decisions about whom it would be left to.”

She had clearly researched all of her options carefully.
“You’ve completely lost your mind, Edwina. On the other hand, perhaps I just never knew you. You have certainly planned this out rather well, haven’t you? The only thing you didn’t count on was the fact that Papa will not be leaving Mummy. Thus, your fantasy marriage will never take place. Please finish your packing and leave this house. I cannot stand the sight of you for one more moment. I consider your positive thoughts to be utter nonsense, for I do not believe there is a chance in Hell that my father will marry you. Goodbye, Edwina. I don’t expect we’ll see each another again in this life.” I turned and left the room before I had a chance to listen to any more foolishness from her. She was certainly no longer my ‘shining girl’. I felt weak and sick to my stomach. I had not slept for more than twenty-four hours, and had scarcely eaten. Moreover, I had undergone profound shock after shock, including taking a bad fall. The world seemed to be coming down upon my head. However, I knew that I could not let down. Not yet. I had to see Edwina off the property, and had to see Papa. I wondered if I could muster the strength needed, but there was no choice.

I continued to
my own room and splashed cool water on my face .I was shaking from head to toe. What had happened was unfathomable. I had no idea where it would all end. Oh God, how I wanted Spence! I needed his calm reason, and strong, reassuring presence, but, of course, that was out of the question. I tried to think what he would say to me if he were there. I knew he would try to make me understand that I could not control everything that happened, and that the fault was not mine, for I
was
feeling guilty. I
had
known of the affair, and had not told Mummy. However, I still could not see what good could have come of such a confession. I had so hoped that the entire, ghastly fling would simply play itself out, but obviously, it had not, and it appeared that Edwina was adamant about getting what she wanted. Her single-minded obsession frightened me. I ran a comb through my hair, dabbed on some lip rouge, and went back to my mother’s rooms. Nan was sitting by the bed, a cold cloth on Mummy’s head, trying to calm her. When I entered the room, Mummy sat up and started shrieking.

“Is that slut gone fro
m this house? Did you get her out of here? Sophia, I’m telling you right now, I shall kill her if she doesn’t leave here at once.”

“
Mummy, please, please calm down. Edwina is packing. I should not think she‘d be much longer. I am going to leave to go to hospital to talk with Papa. I want you to stay here and allow Nan to care for you until I return. I promise you that Edwina will be gone from this house, and will never return.”

“I bla
me you for this, Sophia. I blame you for taking up with such a creature. You brought her into this house…Into our family, and our lives. You should have had better judgement in your choice of friends. You knew she wasn’t our kind,” she screamed, accusingly.

“Oh Lord,
Mummy. Do not start on that. I did not have a crystal ball. There‘s no way I could have known such a thing would happen. You yourself have always been extremely fond of Edwina. You know that. There’s no blame to be cast here, other than the obvious.”

“What do you
mean, ‘the obvious?”

“The bla
me should lie squarely on Papa and Edwina’s shoulders. Do not leave Papa out of this. It takes two people to commit adultery.”

“
Men are weak. They are fools. She did things to tempt him. I do not excuse him. I shall never forgive him…But, this wouldn’t have happened if Edwina hadn’t set her cap for him, and if it hadn’t been so easy for her to insinuate herself into this family.”

“I’
m not going to argue this with you, Mummy. What is done, is done. The question now is what we are to do about it. Do you even care if Papa wants a divorce? Do you intend to divorce him? You would, of course, have grounds.”

“Divorce! I shall never divorce hi
m. If you think I would set him free to marry that little trollop then you are daft. He’ll be made to pay for what he’s done to me, I can promise you that, but he’ll not be given a divorce.”

“All right,
Mummy. I am going to leave now. Try to rest. I shall ring you from hospital after I have seen Papa. I turned to Nan and smiled, reassuringly. “Nan, thank you for being so caring. Everything is going to work out. Stay with Mummy, and help her to keep calm. I’ll be back as quickly as possible.”

Nan s
miled back at me and nodded her head. “The Countess and me will be fine, Miss Sophia. You take care of yer duties, and me and her Ladyship will be fine.” I kissed Mummy on the cheek, and patted Nan’s arm. Then, with a deep sigh, I turned and left the room, dreading what I knew lay ahead.

As I descended the stairway
,
I saw the Rolls Royce, with Joseph driving, and Edwina, Helen and Kippy in the backseat, pulling out of the circular drive. I breathed a sigh of relief that they had gone. I had no idea where they would go . . . Perhaps to her parents . . . Perhaps back to the leased house in London. It was February 11, 1941, and Edwina was gone from our lives. I did not care where she had gone, as long as it was far away from
Willow Grove Abbey
. I picked up the keys to my little auto and proceeded to the garages. In a matter of minutes, I was on the road leading to Bristol and hospital. As I drove, I went over in my mind exactly what I wished to ascertain from a talk with Papa.

Did he want to keep his
marriage intact? Did he want to marry Edwina? (A hideous thought). Was Kippy his son? Just what did he intend to do?

I felt tre
mendous anger toward him for the muddled mess he’d created, and yet I also felt sorrow. There was no question that Mummy was telling the truth when she said he would pay for what he had done. There was not the slightest chance that Mummy could ever be made to see that she had contributed to all of this horror. If only Papa had been honest with her about his growing discontent in their marriage. If only he hadn’t let her think that her intolerable behavior was all right. Perhaps if they‘d faced their problems openly and honestly, none of this would have happened. There was a lesson in it for me. I made a silent promise to myself that Spence and I would always share our deepest feelings with one another, and that honestly would be a cornerstone of our relationship. Hadn’t I already learned that lying, hiding, and keeping secrets was never the correct way to deal with problems? My entire family had been rife with secrets and lies since before I’d been born. I had been criticized many times for being
too honest,
particularly by Papa and Blake, and even by Drew on one occasion, but after I’d lived through the miserable life that lies brought about, growing up in the Somerville family, and after nearly losing Spence forever, I’d made up my mind
never
to indulge in that sort of behavior…Ever. I couldn’t see what problem there was with being honest? If there was nothing to hide…and nothing had been lied about…then how could telling the truth be frowned upon?

Upon arrival at hospital, I
made my way quickly to my father’s room. Before entering, I spoke with a nurse, saying that I had some bad news to break to my father, and asking if she felt it would be safe to do so, or if he needed sedation before I spoke with him. The nurse assured me that he was doing very well, and that she didn’t expect there’d be any difficulty. I opened the door, and found him sitting up in bed, reading the
Times
. The private duty nurse was reading a book in a chair. Papa smiled when he saw me, and put the paper aside. I felt tremendous sadness when I looked at him. It was another of the many times when it seemed that I was the parent and he was the child. He resembled a little boy, dressed in hospital gown, with white socks on his feet and wide, dark eyes looking innocent and vulnerable. “Well, hallo Sophia? What a pleasant site you are this morning. I hope you’ve had some rest,” he said.

“Not really,” I replied. I turned to the nurse, and told her that I needed private ti
me with my father, and that I would summon her when I was about to depart. The nurse laid her book aside, picked up a sweater that was folded over the back of the chair, and quietly exited the room. I turned back to Papa, and pulled up a chair to be closer to him. “Papa, I have some beastly news that I’d give anything not to have to tell you, but I’ve no choice. Do you feel up to hearing upsetting information?”

“Yes,
Sophia. I’m fine. What can be so terrible? Has something happened to Spence? Are Blake and Andrew all right?”

“Yes, yes
…They’re all fine, as far as I know. It’s nothing like that, Papa.”

“Well, Thank God. Then, what could possibly be so upsetting?”

“Mummy’s learned of your affair with Edwina,” I replied.

His eyes grew wider, and then he slapped his hand down on the side of the bed. “Well, that’s it, then,” he said, in a resigned tone.

“What do you mean, ‘That’s it’? Is that all you have to say? Don’t you want to know what happened?”

“Yes, of course, although it really doesn’t
matter very much then, does it?”

I explained about the letter
…How it had found its way back across the Channel and into Mummy’s hands.

“Oh
Bollacks! That’s simply incredible. Quite remarkable, really. I suppose Pamela has gone into a complete tirade.”

“
You might say that, Papa. It’s about as bad as I’ve ever seen. The question is, what do you intend to do now? Edwina has left
Willow Grove Abbey
with Kippy. Mummy literally threatened to kill her.”

“Where has she gone?” he asked.

“I have no Earthly idea, and don’t care,” I nearly shouted. “Edwina is a totally self-absorbed, selfish, horrid person. I hope I never see her again.”

“Oh,
Sophia, no. This is not Edwina’s fault. Sometimes things like this just happen between two people. It doesn’t make Edwina a bad person.”

“
Papa, I’ve spoken with her, at length. She has absolutely no moral grounding. She doesn’t feel even a minuscule amount of regret for the anguish she’s caused. She’s only interested in having what she wants, and what she wants is marriage to you.”

“Well, I know that’s what she wants.” He chewed on the inside of his cheek.

“There’s no possibility of that, whatsoever,” I replied. “Mummy has already stated firmly that she will never, ever agree to a divorce.” Papa did not answer and there was an uncomfortable silence in the room. “You had to know that if Mummy ever found out, the result would be unimaginable furor?”

“I suppose I never thought that far ahead. I was caught up in a stor
m, you know. Just lost in a storm,” he murmured.

“Well, you’re caught up in an even bigger stor
m, now, and I need to know what you intend to do.”

“
Much will depend upon Pamela, of course. In addition, I need to speak with Edwina. Where do you suppose she has gone?” he asked.

“To her parents, perhaps? Or back to London? I do not know,
Papa. What do you need to discuss with her?”

“I’
m concerned about her, of course. I’m concerned about Kippy.”

“Yes. Kippy.
I’m concerned about Kippy, too Papa. Edwina implied that Kippy might be your son. If that is true, I deserve to know. That would make him my half-brother. I need to know the truth.”

“The truth
is that I really don’t know. It is a possibility. Edwina, herself, doesn’t know for certain.”

“How can that be?” I asked, incredulous.

“Ah Sophia, it’s quite simple. Edwina and I had relations one hour after she had seen Dieter off to Berlin. Need I say more?”

“In other words, she was with Dieter the sa
me day, so either of you could have fathered the child.”

“Quite.”

“I am sorry, Papa, but that is disgusting. Edwina is no better than a stray dog in heat. Did she even take a bath between the two of you?”

“
Sophia! I do not ever want to hear you speak that way again. I understand that you are upset, and accept that I have caused great harm. But, there is no need for such talk.”

“Do you
mean that it’s all right to act in a disgusting manner, but not to speak about it honestly?”

“This is getting us nowhere,
Sophia. I have told you the truth. Kippy may or may not be my son. If there is even a remote possibility of that, I cannot and will not abandon Edwina.”

“Aren’t there tests that could prove wheth
er he is or isn’t your son?” I asked.

“None that I’
m aware of, except something called Serological Testing which was begun in the 1930’s.But, it only has a forty percent accuracy, so it’s of little value. There is also blood typing. I already know Kippy’s blood type. It is the same as Edwina’s and mine. Moreover, Dieters for that matter. So, nothing is proven there.” I have checked into all of that.

“I i
magine Edwina has as well,” I said bitterly. I felt my breath coming in small gasps. “Are you intending to give that child your name?” I asked.

“I do not know what I a
m going to do, Sophia. I have not had time to think this through. In any case, it will not affect you in any way.”

“Not affect
me? Are you mad? Of course it affects me! Edwina means for him to have
Willow Grove Abbey
. It means nothing to her that I have two older brothers. It means nothing that
Willow Grove Abbey
has been our home forever. She means to have it all.”

“That’s rubbish. Blake, Andrew and you are
my heirs, and always will be. I can make provisions for Kippy, without your being affected in any way. I assure you, Sophia.
Willow Grove Abbey
will always be your home, if you want it to be. I promise you that. As for your mother, well that is another story. She need not know about Kippy…About the possibility that he is mine. It would only cause her further anguish. I shall take care of any obligations I have without involving Pamela.”

“Are you willing to put that in writing? I asked.

“You mean that you, Andrew and Blake will inherit
Willow Grove Abbey’?”

“Yes. I don’t feel co
mfortable without some proof that you won’t change your mind.”

“Oh
Sophia. That is cruel, and beneath you. I have never cheated you out of anything and never would. You will have to trust me on this.” His words were somewhat reassuring to me, but I would have felt better if he’d agreed to place something into writing. At least he was not saying that he intended to be with Edwina at any cost. At that moment, a nurse tapped upon the door, and entered the room. She held a yellow envelope in her hand.

“Earl So
merville, a wire has been delivered for you,” she said, as she placed it on the table by his bed. Then, she straightened his covers, took his pulse, and departed, smiling. Apparently, the upsetting news had not caused an alarming physical reaction. Papa took the telegram and opened it. He read it through and then passed it to me.

“HAVE TAKEN ROO
MS. STOP. BERKELEY SQUARE HOTEL. STOP. BRISTOL.

CALL SOON AS POSSIBLE. STOP.

EDWINA.”

“Well, then, I guess we know where she’s gotten off to,” I co
mmented. “Not nearly far enough to suit me.”

“
Sophia, I knew she wouldn’t leave the vicinity without speaking to me first. I shall speak with her as soon as the doctors allow me to make a call. I should think I could arrange it today. They’ll bring a telephone to the room.”

“And you’ll say what to her,
Papa?”

“I shall tell her what I told you. That, if Pa
mela will have me, I am going to hold fast, and stay with her. Edwina will be crushed, but, my first allegiance must be to the mother of my children. Sophia, I need your clear and sensible thinking and creative ideas.”

“What do you want
me to do?”

“I want you to try to contact Blake. See if he can procure an e
mergency furlough. Just for a few days. I shall need his help, for I do not think your mother will simply allow me to return to
Willow Grove Abbey
immediately. She is going to need a cooling off period, so to speak. I cannot begin to talk any sense in her present state. I want you to be with her. She is going to need you. But, I am going to need someone to check me out of hospital and stay with me for a bit.”

“Where will you go?”

“There are several options. It depends on whether or not Blake can come. We shall decide upon a destination after I know that. I feel beastly putting my own needs in front of a war, but there you have it. It’s what needs to be done.”

“I’ll try to reach Blake
…Shall send him a wire. I imagine he will ring me up. Nevertheless, is there no one else? Perhaps a friend you could stay with?”

“
Sophia, this is a family matter. I’m not inclined to want to impose this difficulty upon outsiders.”

“Oh no,
Papa, we surely would never want to do that. It could cause irreparable harm to the family image,” I replied, snidely.

“
Sophia…Please. I know you are angry with me, and I do not blame you. I am trying to do what I think is right. I am not abandoning my responsibility to your Mother, and I shall stay and pay the penalty for my behavior. Nevertheless, please understand that in large part I am doing this for you. I know Pamela would lean on you to such an extent that you would never be able to get on with the life you and Spencer are trying to build. That would be unconscionable of me. So, please do not make disparaging remarks to me.”