Wings of a Dove (66 page)

    "She said she went to Delaney's room and told him she was going away with him. He laughed at her! He said he was drunk, but not drunk enough to saddle himself with a selfish, spiteful bitch just because the woman he wanted didn't love him enough. He said he wouldn't touch Sarah with a ten-foot pole, and if she didn't get out of his room fast, he was going to call the house down on her. She told me he ran her out, actually pushed her out the door and slammed it behind her."

    Bobbie turned to glance at his wife's pale face. "Stupid fool that I was, I felt sorry for her. I loved her, and I wanted to comfort her. I took her in my arms and I rocked her like a baby. I told her that Delaney was a damned fool, that I'd give my right arm to have her. I kissed her, and she kissed me back. I kissed her again and she slid her arms around me. I made love to her, Allie. We were together until almost down. Then all of a sudden she got up and dressed. She looked at me in a strange way and said she never wanted to see me again, that if I came to the farm, she'd have her pa run me off. She said she didn't want me, that she had never wanted me, that the only man she wanted    was Delaney, and if she couldn't have him, she didn't want anybody."

    Bobbie shook his head, incredulous even in retrospect as he faced Allie's silence. "I was furious and hurt, and for a while I was determined never to look at Sarah again. But that didn't last long. I tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't see me, so I gave up. Then one day Sarah showed up on my doorstep. She told me she was going to have my baby. Damned fool that I was, I was actually happy, Allie! I knew it was the only way I was going to get her, so I married her and took her home with me. I never told anybody any of this because I didn't want to humiliate her. I never dreamed she was passing off my son as Delaney’s that she was holding it over your head all these years! I knew Margaret was Delaney's child. I knew there was no way James would have waited until you were so far along before marrying you if he had been the father. I'm sorry, Allie. James didn't want anyone to know Margaret wasn't his, and I never would have mentioned it, except to explain."

    Incredulous at these disclosures, Allie stared at Bobbie's earnest expression. "But how can you be sure Sarah wasn't lying to you? She's good at it. She"

    "Because she was a virgin, Allie. I was the first man for Sarah, damn her, and whether she likes it or not, I'm going to be her only man." Bobbie directed a hard glance into Sarah's glazed green eyes as he spoke in a low, rigidly controlled voice. "Delaney doesn't want her now any more than he ever did. I'm the only one who wants her, God help me. She's my wife, and I'm going to keep her Saturday shopping trips, baby's wet pants, and all."

    Bobbie's expression was severe when he addressed Sarah directly. "I won't tell you to apologize to Allie, Sarah. You wouldn't mean it, and I have a feeling Allie couldn't forgive you anyway."

    Bobbie's face was deeply flushed, and Allie knew his wife's humiliating behavior had taken a heavy toll. Appearing to read her thoughts, Bobbie cast her a bitter smile as he grasped his wife's arm firmly. "Don't worry about me, Allie. I have what I want, even if things aren't exactly the way I want them. Sarah isn't going anywhere. She isn't a complete fool. She knows I'm     all she's got left, and she's too much of a coward to try to make it alone. Isn't that right, Sarah?"

    Sarah pulled free of Bobbie's grip and started toward the doorway. Halting suddenly, her body rigid, she stared at something just beyond Allie's range of vision. Again grasping her arm, Bobbie propelled her into motion and out of the room as Delaney stepped into view.

    His handsome face frozen with anger, Delaney advanced into the room. He stood towering over Allie, his eyes frigid as he spoke. "I never realized how big a fool I was until this moment. I suppose I should be grateful my horse pulled up lame, allowing Sarah to get here ahead of me, but right now all I want is for you to tell me everything I overheard isn't true. Tell me Margaret isn't mine, that you didn't keep my daughter from me all these years so James could raise her as his own! Tell me it isn't true that you hated me so much that you wouldn't even tell me she was mine after James was dead! Tell me you didn't do this to me, Allie. Tell me!"

    "Sarah told me that you and she… She said the child she was carrying was yours, too, and I"

    "And you believed her?" Delaney was incredulous. "You thought I could make love to Sarah after we had been together, that I could soil what we meant to each other out of spite?"

    "She was pregnant, Delaney! I knew she loved you. She had told me a hundred times she'd never be with anyone but you. I knew she meant it."

    "What about what
I
had said? Didn't you believe me, when I told you I loved you, that you were a part of me, that I wanted to take care of you the rest of my life?"

    "You left me!"

    "You were the one who made that choice. You walked away and left
me
."

    "Mother Case was sick. She was dying, Delaney!"

    "So was I, Allie, without you."

    "Oh, Delaney, I didn't think you'd leave. I thought you'd wake up the next morning and decide to wait a little longer. I didn't believe it when that train left and you were on it."

    "When I think what a fool I was… I waited for you to come. I stared at that platform, expecting you to walk around the corner right up until I stepped on that train. Now I know it   was all a damned waste of time! You never believed me. You believed James everything he told you. And all that talk, about the medal and belonging to me, it was nothing but talk to you then, just as it's all talk now."

    "No, Delaney. No!"

    "What is it, then? Don't tell me it's the truth and you love me. Love means trust, doesn't it, Allie? Love means giving yourself to the person you love, being willing to sacrifice everything, even your pride. I was angry when I found that note on the bed, Allie. For a few days I hated you and everything that was yours, and then I started to think. You said if I loved you, I'd let you go, but that was nonsense. I loved you too much to let you go, and I knew my pride was keeping me from coming after you.

    "Then I remembered that pride had made me leave without you that first time I went to Chicago. And I remembered that when I finally admitted my mistake to myself and came back to get you, you were married to James and it was too late."

    "Oh, Delaney, I waited. I believed you would come back until Sarah told me"

    "And you believed her."

    Allie paused, a wealth of misery in her single, anguished word of response. "Yes."

    Delaney stared down into Allie's white face. When he finally spoke, his voice was flat, emotionless. "Well, I suppose there's nothing more to say."

    Reaching into his pocket, Delaney withdrew a familiar medal and chain. Expressionless, he dropped it into her hand. "You might as well keep this. It doesn't mean anything to me."

    As her hand closed around the medal, Delaney turned and walked out of the house. The realization that he was walking out of her life forever held Allie immobile as the sound of his horse's hooves echoed against the hard-packed road and slowly faded into the distance.

    Allie fought the despair that threatened to overwhelm her. So many mistakes, so many misunderstandings, so many deceits that had gone undiscovered until it was too late…

    Opening her hand, Allie looked at the medal Delaney had dropped so coldly into her palm. She stared down at the familiar image of the Lady, a spontaneous whisper rising to her lips.

    "You sent Delaney to me. I always knew you did. So why did I stop believing?"

    The stark, empty silence was filled with aching regrets as Allie slipped the medal over her head and let it drop against her breast. Clenching it in her fist, she turned to the staircase, glancing up toward the second floor where Margaret slept. She had taken the first step when a voice from behind her froze her into immobility.

    "Allie?"

    Unable to turn toward the sound, Allie waited an eternity until Delaney's arms slipped around her from behind, until she heard his deep, earnest voice in her ear.

    "Forgive me, Allie. My damned pride wouldn't let me accept the thought that you could doubt me. I was halfway down the road before I realized I was making the same mistake I had made once before. I love you, Allie. We've lost so much time, and I've lost the first seven years of my daughter's life. I'm not going to lose the rest of it, and I'm not going to lose you, Allie. I told you once that I'd make you forget the pain of the past, and I will. If you can just believe in me again."

    Delaney turned her toward him and Allie saw love, commitment, and myriad other tender emotions reflected in his eyes. Her love for him rose in a great overwhelming swell.

    "Oh, Delaney…"

    Enveloping her in his arms, Delaney buried his face in her hair with whispered words of love that echoed in her heart, and Allie slid her arms around him.

    She was home, at last.

    Conscious of the medal lying against her breast between them, Allie closed her eyes, silent words of thanksgiving forming in her mind with the certainty, again so clear, that this was meant to be.

    Wrapped in each other's arms, Allie and Delaney were oblivious to a sound at the window, a fluttering that accompanied the flight of a small gray dove as it took wing. The bird soared upward into the limitless sky like a brief, whispered prayer, winging, fading, blending evermore.

    Dear Friends,

    WINGS OF A DOVE was a particular pleasure for me to write. Allie and Delaney immediately came alive for me upon reading the story of the first orphan train, and as their story unfolded in my mind, it touched my heart. I hope you feel the same.

    Thank you for your letters in the past, and I hope to hear from you again. I enjoy your comments and your friendship.

    Sincerely,

    Elaine
Barbieri

    P.O. Box 536

    West Milford, NJ 07480

BLAINE
BARBIERI

    The romance of history was bred into Elaine
Barbieri
as a child raised in a historic New Jersey city. She has brought that romance to life as the author of over 26 novels, which have hit major best-seller lists across the country. With over seven million books in print, her novels are published worldwide.

    Ms.
Barbieri
has received many awards for her work, including Storyteller of the Year, Best Saga Awards, and Awards of Excellence from
Romantic Times
Magazine.

    Ms.
Barbieri
lives in West Milford, New Jersey, with her husband and family.