Winsor, Kathleen (51 page)

Amber
stared at him in terror. She took a step or two backward, intending to turn and
run if he made the slightest move. Slowly he started toward her. And like a
frightened animal she whirled, but he was quicker; before she knew what was
happening he had grabbed her arm and jerked her back again. She screamed, but
he clapped one hand over her mouth and gave her head a vicious shake.

"Shut
up, you lousy little coward! I'm not going to hurt you!" He was straining
every nerve and muscle, exhausted by jealousy and sleeplessness, to hold his
fury in leash. Amber's eyes looked up at him, big and glittering with fear, but
the grasp he had on her was so tight she could not have moved if she had tried.
"I want you to live—I want you to live long enough to know how I've felt—I
want you to live and wish you were dead because he is—" Suddenly he let
her go.

Relieved,
Amber shook herself a little. She had scarcely realized what he was saying but
now, as he started out, she looked up suddenly. "Where are you
going?" All at once she understood what he had meant. "Rex! You're
not going to fight him!"

"I'm
going to fight him, and kill him."

Confident
that her own life was no longer in danger, Amber gave him a scowl of
contemptuous disgust. "You're crazy, Rex Morgan, if you do! He's a better
swordsman than you are—"

He
slammed his hat onto his head, picked up his cloak and went swiftly out of the
room. At the door he knocked into Nan and Tansy and Jeremiah just coming in
with their arms full of boxes, but he brushed on by without a word of apology.

Nan
caught her balance and her blue eyes widened as she turned to watch him running
down the stairs. "Where's he going in such a rage, mam?" She looked
back anxiously at Amber. "He's not going to fight Lord Carlton!"

"He's
a fool if he does!" muttered Amber, and turned away.

But
Nan whirled about, and started down the stairs after him, crying, "Captain
Morgan! Captain Morgan! Come back here!"

An
hour later Bruce came to her rooms.

He
walked in swiftly when Nan opened the door, and there was a dark scowl on his
face that did not clear when Amber came running out of the bedroom in her
dressing-gown. Her
eager expectant smile disappeared as she saw his angry expression.

"Why,
Bruce! What is it? What's happened?"

He
crossed to her and gave her a folded sheet of paper on which the seal had been
broken. "Look at this! It was just brought to me at Almsbury House!"

She
took it and began to read:

"Sir:
You have done me an injury which one gentleman may not accept from another. I
will see you tomorrow morning at five in Marrowbone Fields, where Tyburn Brook
meets the road. Have your sword in your hand. Or I shall be at your service at
the earliest time you shall appoint.

"Your
servant, sir,

"Captain
Rex Morgan."

The
handwriting was scratchy and the pen had splattered several times, streaking
the page with black ink.

In
his rage, Rex had ignored half the formal appointments for a duel, for it was
customary to let the challenged name the time and the place and the weapon. Nor
had he said anything of seconds, either one or two of which were usually
selected by each man, according to the French style of fighting imported into
England and already responsible for many unnecessary deaths.

Amber
looked up at him, giving back the note, "Well?"

"Well!
Is that all you have to say! for the love of God, Amber, what's the matter with
you! You know that he'll lose his rank and have to go into exile— He might
never come back again! If you don't care what happens to him you should at
least have the sense to consider your own future. Get hold of him tonight and
tell him there's no reason for this ridiculous meeting!"

Amber
was astonished, and then offended, for he obviously did not consider her
sufficient cause for a duel. Her pride hurt, she wanted to hurt him, and now a
mocking smile curled the corners of her mouth.

"You
surprise me, Lord Carlton," she said softly.

Bruce
looked at her, his eyes narrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

She
gave a little shrug. "I wouldn't expect to find you troubled about a
meeting with swords. I should think a privateer could defend himself as well as
any other man."

Nan
gasped, one hand going to her mouth as though to stop the words her mistress
had just spoken. But Bruce's face had a sort of angry contempt on it.

"I'm
not afraid to meet him and you damned well know it! But I don't care to fight a
man without a better reason than this!"

"If
you mean me, Lord Carlton, Rex thinks I'm reason enough!"

"Tell
him you've already had a son by me and see what he thinks about it then!"

"He
knows it—and he still wants to fight you! Anyway, I don't know where he's gone!
If you don't want to fight, you'll have to make your own excuses!"

She
turned away from him, but as she did so she caught a glimpse of his face
staring at her with an expression that was almost frightening, and without
another word he wheeled and left the room, his long riding-cape swirling about
him.

"Oh,
mam!" cried Nan despairingly. "Now what 've you done!"

"I
don't care! He needn't expect me to beg him off!"

"But
it wasn't because he's afraid, mam! You know that!"

Irritably
Amber gave a kick at a low stool and went back into the bedroom, slamming the
door hard to ease her feelings. For a few minutes she paced back and forth,
angry with Bruce and Rex and herself and all the world. A pox confound all men!
she told herself furiously, and flung off her dressing-gown to get into bed,
even though she knew she would not be able to sleep.

When
Nan came in an hour or so later Amber was still awake and tossing restlessly,
but the anger was beginning to wear off and worry was taking its place. The
prospect of the duel did not trouble her, for in spite of the fact that duels
were forbidden by law they took place every day and hot-tempered young men
fought over the flimsiest pretexts: a quick thoughtless word, bad luck at the
gaming-table, the giving or taking of the wall as they passed on the streets, a
difference of opinion over religion or wine or a woman. Every gentleman learned
to handle his sword almost as soon as he learned to walk, and he knew that the
art was acquired to be used.

She
was not afraid of having them fight. She was, in fact, flattered and almost
pleased—or would have been had Bruce been less frankly insulting—for a duel was
not often fatal and was usually stopped at the first drawing of blood. But she
was afraid now of what would happen to her when it was over.

Suppose
Rex would not forgive her this time? Suppose he did have to leave the country
and never came back again? Then what would become of her? She had no illusions
left about a woman's place in Restoration London—she knew that she had been
lucky to find a man like Rex Morgan who had loved her. For love was not in fashion
any more, and without it a man had no obligations, a woman no rights. She
realized all at once that she had been a fool to take such a chance— Of course
he was sure to know— Her lame story about Aunt Sarah falling sick! And yet, how
else could she have done it? She was forced now to admit to herself that there
was only one way she could have avoided this—she should never have left London
with Bruce. She had wanted too much, she had been too greedy— and this was what
she got for it.

What
was the matter with me? she asked herself furiously. I
had Rex—and I
had Bruce, too—now what have I got! But swiftly her anger reverted to Bruce.
Damn him! He's never been anything but trouble to me!

As
she heard Nan tiptoeing about in the dark, she spoke to her.

"Light
a candle if you want, Nan. I can't sleep."

Nan
went back to the other room, returned with a wax candle, and lighted three or
four others in wall-sconces while Amber sat with one arm across her knees and
her hand clenched in her hair.

"Lord,
Nan! What'll I do?"

Nan.
who was beginning to undress, heaved a sigh. "To tell you truly, mam, I
don't know. It's the devil's own mess we're in."

Both
of them look worried and disconsolate. At last Nan blew out the candles and got
into bed and they lay side by side, talking; neither one of them was able to
sleep for a long while. Finally Nan fell asleep but Amber continued to toss and
turn from one side to the other and she heard the bell-man go by, calling out
each hour as it passed: one, two, three.

I'm
not going to just lie here, she thought, and let my life be ruined! And when
she heard, "God give you good morrow, my masters! Past three o'clock and a
fair morning!" she flung back the covers and got out of bed, turning to
shake Nan.

"Nan!
Wake up! Get up! I'm going to Marrowbone Fields!"

"Good
Lord, mam! I thought the house was afire—"

Amber
dressed quickly but carefully, as though she was aware that this would be a
dramatic moment in her life and wanted to look ready for it. She painted her
face and stuck on a couple of patches, combed out her hair and let it fall in
deep loose waves down over her shoulders. She wore a scarlet velvet suit, the
coat of which was cut exactly like a man's. It fitted her snugly and the
neck-line opened in a low V, and there were elaborate scrolls of gold braid
decorating the deep cuffs and borders of the coat and skirt. The brim of her
low-crowned Cavalier's riding-hat billowed with scarlet ostrich plumes and she
had a pair of red-velvet boots lined with miniver. She had had a tailor make this
suit and expected to set a new fashion, but she had not worn it before.

While
Jeremiah went to hire four riding-horses Amber drank some hot coffee which
Tansy had just made and, well laced with brandy, it tasted good to her for
once. It was after four when Jeremiah returned and they set out for Marrowbone
Fields, Amber and Nan, with Tempest and Jeremiah. It was just beginning to grow
light but a heavy mist was falling which blurred the outlines of houses and
trees and made it impossible to see more than a few feet ahead; Amber was
annoyed, for the dampness would probably spoil her gown.

She
soon forgot her appearance, however, and the closer they came the more her
anxiety mounted.

It
took them no longer than twenty minutes to reach the
place in the
road where Tyburn Brook ran under a little stone bridge—and looking off toward
the east they could dimly see a party of men and several horses, half obscured
by a spacious group of Lombardy poplars. Amber immediately turned her horse and
started toward them. Presently she could distinguish Bruce and Rex, Almsbury,
Colonel Dillon whom she knew slightly, and two others who were apparently the
surgeons. But only Bruce and Rex had removed their outer coats to show that no
armour had been worn.

At
the sound of horses' hoofs pounding across the field they all turned; it was
not uncommon for a party to be sent to stop such meetings. But as Amber pulled
on her reins and they saw who it was Bruce looked quickly away—though not
before she had seen the angry annoyance on his face. Rex, however, stood and
stared at her.

"Oh,
Rex, darling!" she cried, stopping only a few feet from him and holding
out her hand. "Thank God I got here in time! You mustn't fight this
duel—you mustn't Rex! Please, darling, for my sake!" Her eyes turned
swiftly to the corners and she saw Bruce look across at her; his expression was
sombre and a cynical half-smile touched one side of his mouth. Sick with fury
she wanted to hurt him, any way she could. "There's no reason for you to
fight, Rex! Why, I don't care any more for him than the man in the moon!"
There! she thought savagely, and flung him a vindictive glance; he met it with
cold contempt, impervious as stone.

But
as her eyes shifted across to Bruce and back again she missed altogether the
look on Rex's face, and when she looked down at him it had gone. The wild
unreasoning rage of despair had disappeared. Now he was quiet, self-possessed,
and seemed cool. In her preoccupation with her own worries Amber did not
realize that his seeming calm was a deadly determination and that his own
tension quivered like the thin blade in his hand. Misunderstanding, she still
thought that she could make him do what she wanted.

"You
shouldn't have come out here, Amber," he said. "A duelling-ground is
no place for a woman. Go on back." He turned away and walked toward the
rest of the group.

"Rex!"
she cried, really alarmed now, and as Jeremiah came to help her dismount she
got down as quickly as she could and ran after him, grabbing him by the arm.
"Rex! I don't want you to fight! I don't want you to, d'you hear me?"

He
neither looked at her nor answered, but jerked his arm free and went on. Amber
would not have stopped even then, but suddenly Almsbury caught hold of her.
"Come back here. You'll be in the way up there."

"But
I can't let them fight! I won't—"