Winter In August (18 page)

Marlene turned to me when she knew Colt couldn’t see her and gave me an evil stare. Under different circumstances, I would have flipped her off. Being the lady I was, I controlled the urge and smiled at her. Marlene stood and walked in my direction. I noticed she staggered a bit. Perfect, a drunk psycho making her way over to me.

“You told on me. What a mature move. I see you are the lady of the month. Nice dress. From Colt I assume?” She sneered at me. She must have taken my advice on extensions because her hair was now shorter.

I leaned into her and said, “And you were the lady of a few hours. Dead fish is how Colt described you. Yes, this dress is a gift from him. I love the color, don’t you? He’s starting to know me so well, inside and out.” I smiled and sipped my wine. This bitch was going to step back and fast. I’ve dealt with bitches like her all my life and this one reminded me of Hilary through and through. She opened her mouth ready to say something, but changed her mind and stormed off. She was easy to put in her place and I hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with her anymore that evening.

After the speech, Colt made his way around to people and shook hands, took pictures and met with some children he seemed to know well. I watched him as he changed from a man of power to a man of compassion. He took his time with everyone he met and talked and listened to them.

As the evening wore on, he seemed very caught up in the moment and the people. I was fine at first, but I had had enough of sitting alone and pushing away advances from old balding men. I went to find him and when I spotted him, he was talking to Marlene off in a corner. I didn’t let either of them see me. I kept my distance as I watched the interaction between both of them. Colt was listening as Marlene was running her mouth non- stop. For Christ’s sake. This was a real pain in my ass all the time. My insecurities surfaced, reminding me of why I’d spent years protecting my heart from men that used me. I knew why he brought me. A cold fish was not as fun as a hot Italian. My wall came up and in order to protect myself from being hurt, I became angry. I called for a cab on my cell and walked outside and waited. Within minutes, I was inside the cab, away from all the phony bullshit and on my way home. My phone rang, and I pulled it back out of my purse and noticed it was from Sven.

“How’s your night going?” he asked.

“I’m heading home. It’s a long story and frankly, I’m tired and starved. You know how I don’t like to eat at these things. Where are you?”

“The Avion. You’re right this place sucks. Can I stop over?”

“Please. Grab a pizza on your way. I’m fucking starved and I want to pig out.”

“Got it, honey. Be there in about thirty.”

Once I was inside my home and in my comfort zone, I took the dress off and placed it back in the box. I was going to return the dress to him in the morning. He could launder the dress for the next idiot he coerced into bed. I jumped into the shower and I heard my phone ringing nonstop. There was no question in my mind who was calling me. I didn’t feel like talking to him, but I also knew if I didn’t he would be over. Harper was out, and Sven was due there any minute. Ignoring the call for a while, I dressed in my yoga pants and big sweatshirt and was ready to devour some pizza. My phone rang, and I shut the power off.

Sven arrived with an extra-large New York pizza. The best in the world according to me.

“Hey, Honey. Extra cheese and meatballs. Hope you’re hungry. This is big enough to feed a small third world country.” He kissed me on my cheek and walked into the kitchen.

“I could eat a third world.” I was indulging and didn’t care about my body at the moment.

“So how was Mr. Wonderful?”

“Mr. Wonderful was wonderful most of the night until this Marlene got ahold of him. Do you know Marlene St. James? She owns the art gallery you took me to?

He rolled his eyes. “I know of her, she is a first rate bitch and known to be a little unstable at times. Why?”

“The two of them have something going on, or did. I’m not sure what their deal is. I know it’s unsettling, and I don’t have time to deal with whatever they have going on.” I grabbed a second piece and covered each slice with parmesan cheese and crushed red peppers.

Sven stood and went to my refrigerator to grab a bottle of water for each of us. “I don’t see him going for her. She’s several years older than him too. I think she has been married about four times.”

I told him about the art show, the confrontation in the driveway, and what happened at the fundraiser.

“Honey, you need to settle down. I wanted to tell you this a while ago, but I didn’t think you would want to date Colt, so I let the information go. You kept saying he was not your type so I waited for the crush he has on you to fizzle out. I see he isn’t fizzled yet, and I guess you need to know.”

I set my half eaten piece of pizza on my plate and took a gulp of water. “What now? Jesus Christ, people and their secrets. My dad has a secret lover, my mom is a closeted lesbian, and now Colt has a secret. What the fuck.”

“When his girlfriend used to come in she and I became pretty good friends. Not let’s shop and do lunch friends, but she would talk to me quite a bit.” Sven ate his pizza with a fork and wiping his mouth after each bite.

“Okay, so. Colt cheated on her, he’s bisexual, what?”

“Bisexual, no I could dream. He holds this charity very close to his heart because he was one of those abused kids. Apparently, an uncle was doing inappropriate things to him and when he told his parents, they didn’t believe him and sent him away to boarding schools. The uncle killed himself when Colt was in college and the parents held him responsible. They blamed him for the uncle becoming depressed and refused to accept the fact Colt was telling the truth. Another cousin of Colts came out later and said this uncle did the same things to him, and then the parents took what Colt said seriously. Of course, Colt was a grown man and didn’t want their apology. His girlfriend told me how Colt wanted to help other kids so they don’t go through the same things. This foundation he started was because of his abuse.”

I sat speechlessly. The pizza rose in my throat. I was such a bitch for leaving him.

“What does this Marlene have to do with him?” I wasn’t convinced something wasn’t going on there.

“I have no idea about this Marlene. Did they date?”

“He said he fucked her a couple of times and she was like a dead fish. They seem pretty cozy every time she is around, though. Tonight, he ignored me after his speech, which was fine, and I found him in deep conversation with her.”

“I don’t know what to tell you there. You’re going to have to talk to him about her.”

“I don’t know if this is worth my time, Sven. I’ve been through the other woman scenario and I don’t think I can go down that road again.”

After eating three pieces, I put the rest of the pizza in the refrigerator
. Sven said he needed to get home, and as he was leaving, Colt was at the door.

“Hi Sven, nice seeing you.” Colt shook his hand as Sven was walking out.

“Thanks for the pizza. I’ll see you tomorrow.” I was at the door with my arms crossed.

Sven was behind Colt and mouthed
be nice
to me and walked off.

Colt stood in front of me with his hair a disheveled mess. His shirt was untucked from his pants, his jacket and tie were gone, and his tired eyes locked onto mine in a shared understanding. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.

“Why did you leave me?” he asked, walking to me. My body responded to him differently than any another man. I eased closer to him without realizing.

“You were busy.” I wanted to touch him and kiss his pain away and yet I wanted to punch him too. I kept my arms crossed to keep from reaching for him.

“You mean Marlene? Gabby? Come on.”

Colt walked to me and grabbed my hands.

“Marlene was there tonight because she knows.”

“Knows what, Colt?” I played stupid.

“She knows what happened to me when I was a little boy. She is the only one besides Claire. Sometimes, when I go to these functions, I get a little over emotional, and she was there. I don’t want that anymore. I want to tell you what happened so when I need someone, it’s you.”

“Colt, you don’t have to do this.” He pulled me against him.

I let him hold me close and being in his arms gave me a sense of warmth and protection. I put my arms around him and held him close.

“Can we go sit somewhere or lie in your bed. I would love to feel you next to me. I’ve had a little too much excitement tonight, and I’m exhausted.”

I led him to my bedroom, and Colt stripped to his boxers, and we climbed into my bed together. I nestled into his shoulder and put my head on his chest.

“I’m sorry I left, Colt. I was behaving selfishly, and when I found you with Marlene, my temper took over.”

“You and your Italian temper. I love how fired up you get. It’s okay. We need to talk, though.” His arms held me tight to him.

“Talk to me.”

He looked at me and kissed my head.

“I was one of those boys. I was hurt by a family member for years. The abuser was my uncle. I was seven when he started and didn’t quit till I was old enough to fight him off. My uncle was this big, college football star, manly man no one suspected. He was married to the same woman for twenty-five years and she never knew. Though, I have my doubts. They would come over on the weekends, and I would have to sit through dinner knowing what hell he would put me through when no one was looking. During summer breaks, my parents would go to the Hamptons and my uncle and aunt would be there. I was terrified the entire summer. My summers were filled with his sweaty body on me touching me in places a boy should never be touched.” He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. I didn’t say a word and let him continue. His arms tightened around me drawing me closer.

“I kept the abuse a secret for a long time. He told me he would hurt me if I told anyone and no one would believe me. He was right about that. When I was ten years old I had enough. I made up my mind he would touch me. I fought him off the last time he came after me and fought him as best I could. He was so big, and strong, I didn’t have a chance. Yet, I tried the best I could to fight him and it worked. This scar above my eyes is because of him. I kicked him in the balls and he hauled off and hit me. He was wearing a ring and when he hit me, the ring sliced me open. He made me swear not to tell anyone or the next time he would do something worse to me. I told my parents I got into a fight with someone and I had to get stitches. Regardless, each time from then on I would fight him until he eventually left me alone. One night I mustered the courage to tell my parents. Of course, they sat me down and told me I needed to stop making up something so awful and I was never allowed to bring his abuse on me up again. When I did bring the abuse up again, I was sent off to boarding school. When I graduated from college, the truth finally came out, and so did other stories from many boys, one of them was my cousin. The only difference was, my cousin’s parents believed him and when he spoke up something was done. My uncle was arrested. Police discovered pictures of the boys he hurt. One of the pictures was me. He eventually killed himself once he was released from prison.”

“Colt, I’m so sorry.”

“This scar is a constant reminder of what happened. Sometimes it’s difficult to look in the mirror.”

“Your scar gives you character. I love the scar. I had no idea you got it that way. I should have hung around. I found you with Marlene, and I freaked. I was being a selfish bitch.”

“Marlene is a long story. She has been after me since my girlfriend died. She even proposed twice. She seems to be a little unstable since her fourth husband left her a couple of years back. Trust me; you have nothing to worry about.”

I wrapped my leg around Colt, and he ran his hand up and down my thigh.

“Did your parents ever apologize?” I asked snuggling closer to him.

“Not really. My parents are never wrong. They didn’t apologize but tried in their way to make up for what was done. When I was in college, they bought me a new car, let me move into the West Side apartment, and would send me gifts like trips to Europe. Gifts are how my parents apologize.”

“Do you talk to them?” I wanted to know what was behind this man.

“I see them a couple of times a year. My sister lives near them, so if I want to see her, I usually have to see them. It’s not the warm fuzzy relationship most people have with their parents. I have forgiven them, but I can’t forget them not believing me when I was an innocent boy. That’s why I started this organization. I don’t want other boys not to have someone to talk to. I want the boy who was raped by someone to be able to tell an adult and be heard and taken seriously. I want to save as many boys as I can from going through what I did.”

“Have you ever talked to anyone about this?”

“You mean, therapy? Yes, I have had many years of talking to doctors and psychologists. I have come to terms with happened and starting my organization has helped.”

I snuggled closer to him. “You are a wonderful man, Colt Andrews.”

“Not wonderful, just a man, Gabby. A man with many faults.”

“I know you’re tired but, tell me about, Marlene? What is her hold on you?” He sighed.