Winter Interlude (34 page)

The thoughts got lost when Paul reappeared carrying a briefcase
.
He strode toward her with purpose, placed the case on the coffee table
,
and sat down on the opposite end of the sofa, not three feet away.

Was he nuts
?
“Can’t you work in the other room
?”
Did he not realize her discomfort
?

“You don’t mind
,
do you
?”
He took out what looked to be a business prospectus from the briefcase and then propped his feet on the table
.
“It’s too
lonely in there,” he said
.

Far be it from her to admit
that she minded
when his
tone sounded so forlorn
.
She shook her head, deciding he must
ha
ve forgiven her for the snowball pelting
.
Besides, he
was
damned good company
.
She firmed her resolve to ignore the attraction
.

Pretend he’s James
.

It worked
.
At least for a while
.
Until her mind sifted through the years
.
Her
teeth ground together as
she grasped more consistencies in her relationship that she’d brushed away as insignificant
.
Hindsight really was
twenty-twenty
.
James wasn’t much different back then
from
how
he was
now
.
Just thinking how she’d settled for less for so long got her blood pressure rising
.
What was w
orse, she was able to see her own part in the mix
.
Her response to his
ambivalent
attitude only prolonged this moment
.
Oh God
.
Mrs. P
ike
was dead
-
on with her cow analogy
.
He had free milk, so why
would
he buy the cow
?
Action
s
spoke louder than words, only she hadn’t listened
.
She’d twisted the relationship to work, ignoring his needs as well as her own
.

“Are you okay?”

Paul’s voice
startled her
.

“I’m fine
.”
She
sent
him a guarded look
.
Did he suspect her apprehension toward him, or could he read her mind
?
“Why would you think I wasn’t okay?”

His nod indicated the edge of the sofa, where her hand gripped the arm tighter than an alligator’s jaw
s
h
eld
prey
.

As warmth spread from her neck to her face,
Kate
quickly released her fingers
.
Flexing them, she placed her hand in her lap
.
“I was thinking about James
.”
It was better than admitting some of those thoughts had been about him
.

“Ah yes—James
.
How could I forget about him
?”
He offered an apologetic half
smile and refocused on his reading material
.
“I imagine I’m a lousy substitute for my brother.”

A genuine smile broke free
despite
all the angst residing in her system
.
If only he knew her true thoughts on the subject
—
that she was a lousy substitute for Judith
.
She laughed outright
.
It was better than crying.

“What
?”
His gaze centered back on her face
.
“You think me being a lousy substitute is funny
?”
He shook his head
.
“That hurts my feelings.”

Unsure of whether he was serious or not, she eyed him thoughtfully
.
“It’s not that
.”
She’d take his sensitivity over Jame
s’
lack of attention any day, but no way could she disclose that fact.

His eyebrows quirked, clearly saying,
Then
what
?

“I was just thinking how much fun he and Judith missed by not coming this weekend,” she lied
.
“James is such a workaholic
.
It’s too bad CHP closed the roads.”

He nodded
.
“Yeah, Judith is working long hours too
.
They both missed out
.”
He hesitated a moment then added, “So do you think Jame
s’
workload will ever slow down?”

No, she thought, offering instead, “It has to eventually
.”
She inhaled deeply and threw him a quick smile
.
“If you don’t mind, I prefer not to
dwell on
James or Judith
’s work ethics
.
Hopefully, we can drive back to the city tomorrow and this weekend will go down in the annals
as
a bad weekend and we’ll both move on with our lives.”

“Yeah
.”
With an agitated snap of his wrist,
Paul flipped to the next page
as his posture stiffened
.
“Just a bad weekend all around.”

“I didn’t mean it that way,”
Kate
quickly interjected
.
“
I just meant that my eyes have been opened to what I need to do.”

“
And what’s that?
”

“Break things off with James
.
I can’t move forward until I do.
”

“
Well
,
that should definitely
get
his attention
and give him a good wake-up call
.
You’ll probably get a ring.
”

“I don’t want a ring
.
Not
any longer.”

His brows arched, and t
hose
blues
eyes
under
neath them
were full of skepticism
.

“It’s true
.”
So what if he didn’t believe her
.
It was more
important
that she believe
it.

He eyed her for a long moment, before nodding
.
“G
uess we’re both on the same page, since I’m ready to throw in the towel with Judith
.”

“
What
?”
Her eyes widened in horror
.
“Why in the hell would you give up now
?”
Though she asked the question, she had
more than a
sneaking suspicion that this weird attraction
between them
was the reason
.

“
I’d be stupid not to follow your sage
example.”

“My situation is entirely different
from
yours and you know it
.”
She crossed her arms and glared at him
,
daring him to dispute the fact
.
Heaven
help her
—
she did not want to
be the cause of their breakup
.
“
Judith
just needs
more time to get her business up and running.”

“Maybe
.
”
He shrugged
and refocusing on his work in an obvious dismissal.

I know so
, she thought
,
sighing and
retrieving
her book
ly
ing beside the discarded magazine
.
For the next few hours, the three worst of her life, she pretended to read
…
all the while acting as if the man
working
little more than an arm’s length away didn’t bother her
.

When he finally reached for his briefcase, stuffed his reading material inside and stood, she sent up a prayer of thanks.

“Would you like a glass of wine
?
We’re out of the French stuff, but red goes better with
hot dogs
anyway
.”

“
I’m
a beer and hot
dogs kind of gal,
” she said in an effort to lighten
the
mood
.
“B
ut
I
’ve been known to sacrifice my standards for whatever’s available
.”
So what if
r
ed wine gave her headaches
.
It
would definitely help
calm her frazzled nerves
.
Still, she’d limit herself to one glass now and one at dinner
.
No sense losing her
inhibitions
by overindulging, even though she’d love to drown her misery in something
, headache producing or not
.