Winter Interlude (36 page)

First Judith and now
Kate
.
What quirk of nature made him ignore those women he’d dated over the years and desire
the only
two he could never
have
?
Was it because they were unattainable
?
Was that the draw?

To harbor a craving for what
James had
only added to his misery
, especially when
the
desire for more than friendship with
Kate
was
a hundred times stronger than what he felt for Judith
.
Even w
orse, he could never reveal
his feelings because he doubted he could deal with seeing the truth in
Kate
’s
eyes
.
Being considered just friends with
Judith
was a cakewalk compared to t
aking
second place
in
Kate
’s life behind James
.

Paul took another large sip, hoping to dull the yearning
.

If only one of them could be happy, he was glad it wa
s her.

~

K
ate
sighed
, content to
watch Paul cook
.

The object of her silent perusal finished dumping four hot
dogs into the steaming pan, then turned around and winked
.
“Wait until you taste these
.
You’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven.”

She laughed,
trying to ignore that
grin that
never failed to steal
her breath
.
S
he certainly didn’t want to think about the way his crinkling, blue eyes tugged on heartstrings that were near their breaking point
.
“I’m sure it will be delicious
.
Besides, it’s hard to ruin hot
dogs.
”

She could stand here for hours,
she realized,
as the same
sense of well-being
that
encompassed her
last night while
sharing space with him
returned full force
.
S
he seldom felt
this comfortable
around James
and the realization
distu
rbed her more than a little,
reinforc
ing
her
decision
to break things off
.
T
here
were so many
difference
s
in
the brothers’ actions
—
one in particular
.
Last night,
Paul had
clearly
appreciate
d
her
meal
, throwing out compliments right and left
.
James
had
always
taken
her cooking
for granted
, in fact almost
expected
it
without ever
compliment
ing
her
on a job well done
.
Of course, s
he enjoyed cooking and didn’t do it for the
praise
,
but
to
have her efforts recognized
was more than a nice surprise
.
A
courtesy
that
Paul extended and James didn’t
.
Just like offering to cook
.
In eight years, James had never once offered.

O
ne thing led to another,
and
she found herself making other comparisons
.
Why did Paul seem so much more perceptive of her feelings than James
?
James wasn’t rude by any means, was always generous and giving
.
But he was clueless about
the
things she found important.

She could be herself around Paul and he acted as if he enjoyed her that way
.
She never felt totally
at ease with James
.
How sad to realize that by continually trying
to get him to commit
,
she’d molded herself into
what
she thought
he
needed instead of who she was
.
The
realization
stopped her cold
.
How in the hell had she deceived herself for so long
?

Thank God, she’d finally figure
d
it out
.
With a little help from a friend
.
She smiled at Paul’s back as he pulled buns out of the package
.

“
I guess it’s time to set the table
.
”
She stowed
her
thoughts away
and hurri
ed
to do the chore
.

“
All ready,” he said a few minutes later, walking past her
with
two platters
.
He
set them down
.
“While my skill is nowhere near your level,
I hope
you enjoy my one
and only
cooking talent
.”

“
I can’t wait to dig in
.
”
She f
ollow
ed
him
and pulled
out a chair
to sit
.
“
Hot dogs
are my idea of a feast and they
look delicious.
”

“Oh
,
wait
.
I almost forgot
.”
He jumped up
,
rushed to the kitchen
, then
brought back a full glass of wine and
bowed
.
“For one beautiful lady,” he said, holding it out.

The hand tracing the con
d
ensation on her water glass stilled and her wary gaze moved to his
eyes
.
When nothing but sincerity shone in those blue depths,
her eyes watered
.
It just wasn’t
fair, she thought, blinking back
tears as she took
the glass
.
“
Q
uit being so nice
.
It’s better if I hate you.”

He sat back down without answering
.
In
her peripheral vision
,
she noticed
him
pick
ing
up his wineglass
.
I
nstead of
taking a drink
,
he
hesitated, holding
the glass
inches from his mouth
.

“Do you honestly believe after all we’ve been through, that either of us can hate the other?”
His voice was hushed
, drawing her gaze
.

H
is
intense
stare
held hers
.
F
or endless seconds
she couldn’t
look
away
.
Finally, she did
, more
confused than ever
.
It was as if she could see all the way to his soul
.
A
s beautiful as it was, it was also lonely
, which didn’t make sense
.
He couldn’t
feel
alone
.
Not when he had Judith
.

Shaking the
unsettling notion
, she re
focused on the hot
dog
.
Yet,
s
he couldn’t dismiss as easily the sense of connection that touched everything inside her
being
.

She
too
k a bite, chewed
,
and eventually swallowed even as
dissatisfaction over her failed relationship
slammed into her
from every angle
.
Now she
was positive
she and James were never meant to be
.