Wishing for Someday Soon (16 page)

I fought back a groan, trying to control my exaggerated breathing.

“You’re killing me,” he said, planting one last kiss on my lips before deftly moving me off his lap.

My senses slowly returned, and I was mortified at how out of control I had allowed the situation to get. I acted like Lucinda would have. I felt color creeping up my cheeks as I thought of how close I had come to letting him do whatever he wanted. Had Lucinda been right in all the years that she had been telling me I was just like her? Was I really no better than she was? Giving up my virginity in the front seat of a vehicle with a guy I had only known a couple weeks would have definitely painted me that way.

“Katelyn, are you okay?” Max asked as I studied my hands, mortified.

I remained silent as I struggled with the inner turmoil boiling through me.

“Katelyn?” he said again, more insistent this time.

“I’ve just never acted like that,” I finally muttered, thankful the interior of the vehicle was too dark for him to see my face clearly.

“Katelyn, neither have I,” he said, taking my hand into his. “I know things got a little intense there, but we can slow things down.”

“I just always said I'd wait,” I said too quietly for him to hear clearly.

“What?” he asked, rubbing the inside of my wrist with the pad of his thumb.

“I said I always planned to wait. I don’t want to turn out like my mom.”

“Katelyn, you're nothing like your mom,” he said forcibly.

I remained silent, knowing he was wrong on this point. Our out of control breathing and fogged up windows were all the proof I needed.

“So, we'll be careful not to let things go so far next time,” Max finally said, trying to ease my mind.

I gave a shaky laugh. “Like never being alone?” I said.

Max barked out a laugh. “Well, that might help for a while,” he said, pulling my hand up so he could kiss the sensitive skin of my wrist.

“Um, just so you know, that so doesn’t help the situation,” I said, giggling breathlessly.

“Slow then, we can do this,” he muttered to himself as he slowly backed the vehicle back up onto the main road.

“Slow,” I repeated, looking at him dubiously.

“Hey, you just wait, I'll become the king of slow,” he said, noting my doubt. “You might want to fix your hair, though,” he added, turning down a graveled driveway.

“Oh no, what did you do?” I complained, looking at the disheveled mess my hair had become. I had been so lost in the moment, I was unaware he had obviously sunk his hands through my hair sometime during his assault on my lips.

“Guess you'll just have to wear it down,” he said winking, implying he had done it purposely.

“You did this on purpose?” I asked.

“I'd rather see you wear your hair without ‘her’ help.”

I sighed, not needing to ask who he was talking about. I felt conflicting emotions over Max’s obvious distaste for Lucinda. His protectiveness over me was unlike anything I had ever experienced from anyone, but his dislike for Lucinda was a little unsettling. For all her faults, she was still my mom, and she and Kevin were the only family I had.

Max came around to open my door as I was running my fingers through my now wavy hair.

“Ugh, it’s a mess,” I complained, studying my reflection in the mirror.

“A mess?” he asked incredulously. “Are you looking at the same thing I am? You look great.”

 
“Are you sure?” I asked, still unsure as I smoothed out my dress.

“Absolutely,” he answered, tucking me in under the crook of his arm so I was firmly anchored to his side.

The party was in full gear by the time we approached the oversized barn where it was being held.

“This is amazing,” I said, taking in the hundreds of orange twinkling lights that had been draped over bales of hay that lined the walkway.

“Yeah, Alicia’s parents love Halloween,” he said, chuckling as he pointed out an old-fashioned looking cemetery off to the side of the barn.

“I guess so,” I said, admiring the endless rows of uniquely carved jack-o-lanterns that bordered the outside of the rustic building.

Max pulled the large door open, and we both stepped into the surprisingly warm building. The inside was decorated just as elaborately as the outside with sconce lighting fixtures on each pillar, holding flickering bulbs made to look like candlelight. Fake cobwebs and spiders covered the rafters, and fog machines created the illusion that we were in some creepy haunted house somewhere.

“This is incredible,” I said, trying to take in all the decorations at once.

He laughed. “Well, it should be. I know my mom and Alicia’s mom have been working on it for months,” he said, talking loudly so I could hear him over the loud music being pumped out of speakers spread throughout the massive space. The music stopped midway through his statement, making everyone suddenly focus on our arrival.

Looking down, I brushed at the skirt of my dress, wondering if I had missed a stain or a tear. Seeing nothing, I looked at Max who shrugged his shoulders, equally puzzled. I patted my hair uncomfortably, wondering if they suspected we had been making out since my hair was now down, although there was no way they could know it was braided originally.

Max grabbed my hand as we approached our friends who slowly began to talk again, recovering from whatever had triggered their silence.

“You look nice,” Rebecca said, coming over to give me a brief hug.

“Thanks,” I said, still feeling uncomfortable.

Rebecca’s greeting seemed to break the ice as a new song started and the chatter once again rose loudly throughout the space.

Max kept my hand firmly wrapped in his, obviously still puzzled over the strange reception we had gotten.

I pushed my unease to the side, deciding to enjoy the luxury of being around Max. Glancing around the space, I saw Max’s mom and another lady I didn’t recognize refilling snacks on a long makeshift table that was resting on two giant wooden barrels. My eyes moved on, taking in the small dance floor that was empty as everyone stood around talking. I had been to a few dances over the years and was used to seeing the dance floors overcrowded as the entire student body bumped and grinded against each other. Since I had no rhythm, I usually avoided the dance floor like the plague, but I allowed Max to pull me to the empty floor when a slow song began to play. He looped his arms around my waist, interlocking his fingers together so I was pulled snugly against his chest.

“Hmm, this is nice,” I muttered as I rested my head against his heart.

“Yeah, I could definitely get used to this,” he said, pulling me more snugly against him.

I sighed with pleasure. Taking things slow would be a chore considering being in his arms felt so right.

“I think I should use the ladies’ room,” I finally said, pulling away reluctantly when the slow song ended and a faster one began.

“Okay, it’s inside the house. Do you want me to walk you in?” he asked as Clint called his name across the room.

“Nah, I got it. You go join your friends.”

I pulled the heavy barn door open, stepping into the chilly night air. I immediately began to shiver, missing the warmth of the space I had just left. Hurrying up the path, I entered the house without bothering to knock. The interior of the house had a classic feel to it and I instantly felt out of place, passing expensive antiques as I hunted for a bathroom. Coming up empty after passing several doorways, I sighed in frustration. I heard voices coming from the back of the house and went searching for help before my bladder got the best of me. I paused outside the large swinging doors as I heard my name mentioned, recognizing Max's mom's voice.

“She seems like a sweetheart,” I heard her say. I smiled at her words, pleased that she seemed to like me.

“And she’s quite pretty,” a voice I didn’t recognize said. “But I almost died when I saw her wearing the same dress Alicia wore last year. We had it specially, made so I know it’s the same one. The poor dear must have gotten it from the thrift store we donated it to when we did that big spring cleaning last year. Thank God all our kids have the couth not to mention it.”

Mortified by her words, I looked down at the dress I was wearing and began to feel sick at the ramifications of what she said. No wonder everyone looked at me like I was a leper when we walked in. They all knew I was wearing a used dress. I couldn’t help wondering if that’s what Clint had wanted to tell Max so badly. I slowly started to back away from the door until their words once again stopped me in my tracks.

“Well, it’s only to be expected. As sweet as Katelyn is, her mother is some piece of work,” Max’s mom continued.

“What do you mean?” the other voice asked, their enjoyment for gossip obvious.

“Well, she tried to buy cigarettes with her food stamp card a couple days ago. When Patty informed her it wasn't allowed, she went ballistic. Patty tried to explain that it was all computerized and that the transaction wouldn’t be approved anyway. She caused such a ruckus that Maxwell, who happened to be there, had to step in. He took her to the side to explain the situation, and if you can believe it, she tried hitting on him.”

“Oh my God, you're not serious?” the other voice said incredulously.

“I kid you not. I guess she thought she would be able to charm the cigarettes out of him.”

“And her daughter is dating your son?” the voice I was slowly beginning to hate asked, making her point clear.

“Well, we had our reservations at first, especially after this incident, but when we tried to talk to Max, he wouldn’t hear any of it. He seems to have an unnatural hate for her mom and told us in no uncertain terms that Katelyn is nothing like her. We’re going to trust his judgment, but this is one time that I’m hoping the apple does fall far from the tree, because if she’s like her mother she could have a hidden motive.”

“You think she would try to trap Max?” The voice asked.

Shaking with rage, I slowly backed away from the door, wanting nothing more than to get out of there. Just like always, Lucinda was ruining everything and taking me with her. I fled the house, not even bothering to confront Max. I couldn’t believe his mom thought I would try to trap him. I had so much more to worry about than trying to trick some guy into getting me pregnant. Her words ran through my head over as I hiked along the road. I would never consider tricking Max, but the possibility of getting pregnant wasn’t as farfetched as it seemed before our heavy make out session in his vehicle earlier. Who knows how far it would have gone if he wouldn’t have stopped?

I walked the long two miles home, feeling like I'd been sucker punched. I had no idea how I had let things get so out of control. This is exactly why I kept my personal life a secret. By the time I neared the entrance of the trailer park, I was shivering uncontrollably. The pain in my heart made the cold seem insignificant. I willingly embraced it, knowing it was a small price to pay for my actions. I was so lost in my self-punishment, I didn’t notice the vehicle until it was almost on top of me.
 

Screeching to a stop, Max jumped out of the vehicle looking frantic.

“Katelyn, what the hell is going on? You leave to go to the bathroom and never come back. Why did you leave?” he asked, grabbing onto my shoulders to halt me. “What happened?” he demanded, taking in my ashen face.

“I can’t see you anymore,” I said, between my chattering teeth.

“What? Why? Did someone say something to you? So what if you’re wearing a slightly-used dress,” he said, struggling to fix the situation.

My heart sunk at his words. So they had filled him in.

“I g-gues-s they c-couldn’t wait-t-t to tell you-u,” I said as the chattering made me shake uncontrollably.

“It was Clint. He was just being an asshole. The others don’t care and neither do I,” he said, trying to pull me into his arms, but I held myself back.

“Katelyn, let’s talk about this in the car, you’re freezing.”

“I’m-m almos-st home,” I stuttered.

“We have to talk about this,” he said, trying to coax me into the vehicle.

No longer resisting, I finally allowed him to lead me to the Navigator, knowing what I needed to do. The situation had gotten out of control and only a clean break would fix it. The warmth of the vehicle was almost painful as it slowly worked its way through my frozen limbs. After several quiet moments, I finally started talking.