Wishing for Someday Soon (18 page)

Max was already at his desk when we entered the room. He had his body angled toward my desk and I sensed an ambush. I couldn’t help drinking in the sight of him as I approached Mr. Graves.

“Katelyn, are you feeling better?” Mr. Graves asked concerned.

“I’m getting there,” I said in a near whisper since my voice kept going in and out annoyingly.

“You sound awful,” he said, still looking concerned.

“I think this is the tail end of it,” I said, trying to sound hopeful. “Anyway, I was wondering if I can move my desk over near Bethany, if you don’t mind.”

His face lit up at my words. “That would be excellent. I think she could use a friend.”

I nodded my head, agreeing with him.

“Clint and Shawn, do me a favor and move Katelyn’s desk over here,” he said, pointing to the empty spot on the other side of Bethany.

I noticed he didn’t ask Max to help move my desk, judging by the glowering expression on his face, I could see why. I averted my eyes and tried to tune out the whispering I could hear throughout the room. I had drawn the line, and I could feel the shift in the room. I looked at Rebecca to see if she was gloating over Max being free again, but was surprised that she was studying me with what looked like puzzlement and sympathy.

Bethany continued to chatter away once I was settled and acted possessive of me when anyone passed our desks. I nodded my head at the appropriate parts of the conversation and blamed my sore throat for my uncommunicative responses.

I ate lunch with Bethany and Matt that day and for the rest of November. Eventually, the whispers about me stopped, and several of the other students I hadn’t had a chance to get to know before became friendlier. Bethany remained possessive of me and would often interrupt conversations if she thought they might lead to other friendships. I didn’t resent her attitude since she had unknowingly helped me out.

As winter approached, the days grew shorter and colder. I knew our days in Four Corners were numbered judging by Lucinda’s clamorous complaining. Part of me was actually anxious for the move to happen so I wouldn’t have to see Max each and every day. Still, the other side of me was filled with deep despair at the thought of never seeing him again. Being in a small school had become both the blessing and curse I thought it would be. It was torture being around Max in every class because I wanted so badly to run to his arms and feel the gentle beating of his heart against me. In the beginning he would stare at me across the room for hours on end. I learned to discipline myself to focus on anywhere but where he sat, and eventually he stopped looking all together. I mourned the loss of his glances more than I could have imagined, throwing myself wholeheartedly into my schoolwork. I had asked Mr. Hanson if Courtney could tutor me in math once I broke it off with Max. She wasn’t quite as strong as Max at the problems, but she also didn’t distract me like he used to. She and I gradually became friends through the tutoring sessions since Bethany wasn’t around. It was more of a superficial friendship on my part since I once again had my walls erected to protect my personal life. I appreciated her easygoing nature though, and wished that I could have gotten to know her better.

As December approached, Kevin became ecstatic when Jim and Lucinda began to get into the holidays like never before. We even arrived home from school one mid-December day to see our very first Christmas tree standing in the corner of the trailer, surrounded by presents.

“What’s this?” I asked, completely floored.

“Jim’s been getting a lot of extra bonuses at work, so we figured we’d have fun this year. Why, do you have a problem with that?” she asked, sounding annoyed.

“No, it’s just we never have before,” I said, not bothering to point out all the Christmases and birthdays we had gone without.

“Well, obviously if I could have, I would have,” Lucinda said, clearly aggravated with me.

“I know, Mom, I think it’s great,” I replied, trying to appease her.

“I just don’t know about you sometimes, Katelyn. You can be such a bitch.”

“I know, Mom, I’m sorry,” I said truthfully. I knew Lucinda hated to have her faults pointed out to her.

I headed to my room before the issue escalated, kicking myself the entire time for saying anything in the first place. I could still hear her grumbling about my selfishness as I closed my bedroom door.

The next day we arrived home to see that the presents had multiplied from the day before. Of course, most of them were for Lucinda, but I was pleased to see that Kevin had his fair share too. My pile was the smallest, but that was to be expected since I had picked a fight the day before. Kevin was over the moon when he saw his gifts and would spend hours each afternoon just staring at the pile.

The pile of Christmas presents continued to grow with each passing day as if Lucinda was trying to prove something. As excited as I was at the thought of having our first ever normal Christmas, I began to worry about where all the extra money was coming from. Lucinda didn’t work, and I knew that Jim wasn’t making very much money as a day laborer. Of course, questioning Lucinda would mean opening up a can of worms I just didn’t want to deal with.

The week before Christmas break was supposed to start, Kevin and I came home to a distraught Lucinda.

“What happened?” I asked, closing the door behind us as Lucinda sobbed on the couch.

“Jim-m-m is in-n-n jai-l-l,” she said in between her hiccupping sobs.

“Kevin, go to your room,” I said.

“Why?” I asked Lucinda once I heard Kevin’s door close.

“Because-e-e he-e-e was stealing-g-g copper wiring from his job.”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked incredulously.

“Don’t you judge him,” Lucinda said as her sobs cutoff abruptly.

“Don’t judge him?” I asked, feeling the anger rise inside me. “What was he thinking? How are we going to pay the bills if he’s in jail?” I added, pointing out the obvious.

“He wanted to give your selfish ass a nice Christmas,” she said, rising to her feet.

“Bullshit, he was just being greedy!” I said, completely disgusted at the situation.

“What did you say, you little shit?” Lucinda snarled, enraged with all grief gone from her face. She struck me in the chest before I could defend myself. I dropped to my knees with the wind knocked out of me. Her next blow was with the coffee cup that had been sitting empty on the table. She swung back and hit me across the side of my head, making the room spin out of control as blinding pain gripped my skull. I curled up in a ball, trying to protect myself from her rage that burned out of control, showering me with one blow after another. When her hands began to fall feebly, she resorted to kicking me as her anger reached a climax. Time lost all meaning as I let my mind float away, becoming numb to the beating I was taking. I willed myself to find my happy place, which had changed over the years to suit my age. For a long time it centered on Kevin and me being free from this madness, but recently it had changed to include Max. His image was never hard for me to remember and I allowed myself to sink into his arms as the trailer and Lucinda faded away.

I woke sometime later, unaware of how much time had passed. A deathly pale Kevin was holding my hand, crying silently when I finally opened my eyes.

“Where’s Lucinda?” I asked groggily.

“She left a while ago. I was so scared, I couldn’t wake you up,” he said.

“You couldn’t?” I asked, sitting up. My stomach dropped at my movements. I lurched to my feet and rushed to the bathroom as my stomach released its contents. I rested my head weakly against the side of the sink. I groaned as a sharp stabbing pain shot through from the top of my head and traveled down my body. I reached up to touch the sensitive spot with my fingertips and was dismayed when they came back sticky with blood.

“Kevin, can you hand me a wet rag?” I asked, trying to keep my tone even so I wouldn’t alarm him.

He nodded his head and grabbed the washcloth from the shower. He kept his eyes firmly on me as he anxiously wet the rag.

He handed it to me still dripping wet, but I didn’t complain.

“Kevin, I think I have a concussion,” I said after I washed the blood away as much as I could.

“What does that mean?” he asked frightened.

“It means my head is sick.”

“Do you need to go to the hospital?”

 
“I don’t think so, but I have a very important job for you.”

“What is it?” He asked, standing up taller.

“I need you to make sure I don’t fall asleep again. Do you think you can do that?”

 
“Why?”

“I’m not sure exactly, but I know from watching TV shows they always talk about how you shouldn’t fall asleep.”

“Is it bad that you already fell asleep?” Kevin asked worriedly.

“I don’t think so, bud. Why don’t we go to my room and we can read some more of ‘Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.’”

“Does your head hurt too much to read?”

“I was going to let you read to me. You’re reading skills put mine to shame anyway,” I added, making him flush at my praise.

“Yeah, right.”

“I’m serious. If I was half the reader you are when I was nine, I’d be a genius.”

“You think so?” He asked as we settled in on my bed.

“Of course I do, champ, you’re one smart guy.”

“I don’t feel all that smart sometimes in class.”

“That’s not your fault, bud. It’s because we’ve moved so much and missed so much school. If we never moved you’d be running circles around the other kids with your grades.”

“Katelyn, I wish it was someday soon now.”

“Me too,” I said, saddened at how defeated he sounded.

“Someday soon, it will be just us,” he said, opening up his book where we had previously left off. “Well, Max too, if you want,” he added, mentioning Max for the first time in weeks.

I could tell by the look he shot me he had been giving this a great deal of thought. I was amazed that even at nine he had a firm grasp of what was going on.

“I think that ship has sailed,” I said, trying to make a joke of it.

“Nah, I saw the way he looked at you. He loves you.”

“Very funny, we hardly knew each other. How would you know about that anyway?”

“Did you love him?”

I debated avoiding his question before I finally answered it honestly. “I think it was too early for love, but I liked him more than anyone else I’ve ever known.”

“Even me?” Kevin asked seriously.

“No, bud, I could never like anyone more than you,” I answered, reassuring him.

“More than Mom?” he persisted.

“Yeah, more than Mom. Come on, stop stalling and read,” I said before the conversation went any deeper. It was one thing for me to feel nothing for Lucinda, but I didn’t want to influence Kevin in that way. It was up to him how he wanted to feel.

Taking my hint, Kevin began to read. I was amazed at how much his fluency had increased since our move here and only had to help him occasionally with the harder words.

“Mom’s like Harry’s aunt and uncle,” Kevin said as we took a break to munch on some sandwiches he had made for our dinner.

“Nah, at least she doesn’t make us sleep in a broom closet.”

“Yeah, but she does treat us badly,” he said after swallowing a bite of his sandwich.

“That’s true. Hmm, maybe our letters to Hogwarts will arrive any day now,” I teased.

“That would rock,” Kevin said before going into a whole tirade about how cool it would be to live in the castle and be able to eat good food all the time.

We read through the night and Kevin was my hero as he made sure to shake me awake each time my eyes drifted closed. Lucinda strolled in sometime after midnight, but neither Kevin nor I made a move to leave my room. By six a.m. I finally felt it was safe for me to fall asleep, so Kevin and I fell into an exhausted slumber and slept through the entire day. We both woke at dinnertime, and I made us both something easy since my head was still pounding like a drum. Once our bellies were full, we both headed back to bed and slept through the rest of the night.

Sunday morning Lucinda was awake when I stumbled out to the living room to get myself something to drink. I saw her take in my appearance, pausing at my head which had dried blood caked throughout the strands of hair where the wound had bled while I slept. She didn’t acknowledge me other than her stare, and I followed suit. I was used to the silent treatment. If Lucinda lashed out at me because she was mad at someone else, she was usually remorseful the next day. If she lashed out at me because I had defied her, she would spend several days afterwards giving me the silent treatment until I apologized.