Wishing on a Rodeo Moon (Women of Character) (7 page)

Jake
moved with her to the side of the pool. Before Tye could protest, he put his
hands on her hips and lifted her as if she weighed nothing. He climbed easily
from the pool and pulled a chaise longue toward her. Tye sat on it, her wet
clothes weighing her down. She began to shiver, trying not to dwell on the
kiss, but it consumed her thoughts. The heat, the fire inside should have
warmed her, but she shivered again.

Tye
pulled a towel around her shoulders and huddled into its dry warmth. She looked
down, alarm clutching at her. "My leg," she said quickly. "I
don't know what affect water will have on it. For what it cost, I can't afford
to have it ruined."

Jake
seemed to hesitate. "Take it off," he finally said, as if it were the
most natural thing in the world.

Outraged
Tye jerked her head up to meet his eyes. "What?"

Jake’s
expression bordered on exasperation. "It's not like I asked you to strip
naked and dance."

Tye felt
heat flood into her face. A smart retort leaped to her lips, but she bit it
back.

"Wise
girl," Jake said easily. "Don’t argue. Take it off so we can dry
it out. Maybe the water won't hurt it."

Calming
herself, Tye realized he was suggesting the smartest thing to do at that
moment. Yet she knew she couldn’t remove the prosthesis with him standing
there. She couldn’t bear for anyone to see the ugliness of her scarred
stump. She felt paralyzed by her own indecision.

"I-I…"

"Relax,"
he said, moving closer. "Let me take a look."

Tye drew
a deep, shaky breath. Inconsequentially, she noticed the growing puddle his wet
pants made on the stone. The jeans clung to him. She tried not to look at the
zipper area of the fabric, but her eyes were drawn there nonetheless. She
snapped her gaze back up.

"Do
you want to take up where we left off in the pool?" Jake asked huskily. Tye
blinked hard, expecting to see him grinning. He looked dead serious.

"No,"
she said shortly. "I’ve got to get this leg dry."

Squatting
in front of her, Jake pulled her left boot off, tipped it upside down and let
the water run out.

Tye
stared at the boot. "My new boots," she wailed, abruptly overcome by
impending tears. Why should a pair of wet boots cause such upset?

"They'll
dry," Jake said reassuringly.

Tye
tried to stand, but Jake pushed her gently back on the chair and proceeded to
roll up her wet right pant leg. "What do you think you're doing?" she
demanded.

While
she watched in horror, Jake eased the boot off the artificial leg and tipped it
upside down. Tye stared at the metal components of the prosthesis, then at the
top of Jake’s head as he knelt before her.

"I’m
helping," Jake said shortly. "Don't be so defensive. I'm only going
to unhook the leg and see if we can dry it out."

"What?
Unhook it?" Tye did stand up then. "You darned well are not, Jake
Miller! I can do that myself." Panic struck. Tye knew he must not see her
stump. No one had seen it except the nurses and doctors in the hospital and
rehabilitation. Even her family hadn’t seen it.

Jake,
still kneeling, caught her by the arm. Dread escalated as Tye looked down into
light blue eyes framed by water-spiked black lashes. Fear rioted through her,
then desire tried to curl around her insides. Fear won. Frantically, she licked
her lips, but words didn't come. Inconsequentially, she noticed the black hair
on his chest still dripped with water.

"If
it bothers you, I won't look," he said calmly. "You can cover it with
a towel. I used to help my mother with my dad."

Slowly,
Tye sat, her fingers gripping the armrests as Jake finished rolling up her pant
leg. Why did his fingers feel so hot against her water-cooled flesh? She looked
at the metal limb exposed so starkly between them. She felt like she was living
through a scene out of a science fiction movie, and she was the monster.

True to
his promise, Jake kept his eyes on her face, no doubt seeing the apprehension
that raged, the coward inside that couldn't bear for him to see her leg. If he
saw her residual limb, Tye knew he would be repelled. How could he not be? She
remembered her first reaction to seeing the stump. She didn't think she could bear
to see disgust in his eyes. She didn't care that he had helped with his father.
This was her body, her scars. Her body no longer felt whole. And besides, Jake
used to know her as a whole woman. Quickly, she dropped the towel over her
thigh.

Tye held
her breath as a deep hurt echoed through her. She didn't know why it would
bother her to see a reaction of disgust from Jake, she just knew she couldn't
chance it.

In the
next moment he stood and walked across the pool area, her prosthesis in his
hand. He picked up the towel he had earlier discarded and carefully dried the
artificial limb.

Wide-eyed,
Tye watched him. Jake acted as if he were drying off a plate, or a pan, she
thought hysterically. He had her leg in his hands, for God’s sake!

"I
can do that," she managed to protest, surreptitiously tugging down the
rolled-up jean to cover the atrophied stump.

Jake
moved closer, but not close enough for her to reach the leg. "Believe it
or not, there's no ulterior motive in my helping you. It's help, plain and simple,
so stop looking for something that isn't there. We're supposed to be friends,
right? My dad had both his legs amputated."

"I-I
know that, of course I know that. It’s just that I could have done it
myself," Tye said quickly. Needing something to do with her hands, she
pushed her wet hair behind her ears, then pulled it forward again.

"I
know you can do it yourself," he said impatiently. "I also know you
could've gotten out of the pool by yourself. Nobody's saying you can't do
anything and everything on your own. It’s just that there’s nothing
wrong with accepting a helping hand."

"Help
isn't going to do me any good when I'm alone," she retorted bitterly.
"If I start depending on people, pretty soon I won't be able to do
anything."

Jake
gave a short laugh.

Incredulous,
Tye jerked her head up. "Are you laughing at me?"

"Yes,"
he said, shaking his head with amusement. "I can’t imagine you not
being able to fend for yourself. You’re the most independent woman I
know. It’s laughable."

"Now
you’re saying I’m a joke?" Tye demanded, unable to keep the
hurt from her voice.

"Tye,
come on, get over it. You know that’s not what I’m implying. You
have never been helpless in your life. Your grit and determination will never
allow you to be helpless. You’ll always be able to climb out of any pit
― that’s the way you are. It’s what I admire about you. If
you cool off a minute and think about it, you’ll know I’m speaking
the truth."

If Jake
wanted to strike her speechless, he’d done so.

"Anyway,"
he demanded, "who says you have to be alone?"

Tye
narrowed her eyes, anger bursting inside as her temper took over. "I do,
dammit! Who wants to look at this leg every day? I certainly don't. It makes me
sick."

"Your
anger is understandable, but you’ve got to accept the leg is gone and
nothing’s going to change that."

"You
can talk till you're blue in the face, Jake Miller, but you haven't got a clue
what it's like to go your own way and one day it's all gone. To wake up and
discover your mother gave them the okay to hack off a leg."

"Your
mother would never okay that unless it was absolutely, medically
necessary."

Jake’s
voice sounded cold. So cold Tye shivered with self disgust.

She put
her head down, misery a tangible pain inside. "Oh God! I know you’re
right. I-I was unconscious for three days. Mama had to make the decision."

She
darted Jake a glance. His face looked white, maybe with anger and disgust, but
he didn’t say anything.

"Everything
went down the tubes. My life, my career. Everything." The damning tears
ran down her cheeks. Tye wiped ineffectively at them with her wet shirtsleeve.
She felt embarrassed, ashamed by her outburst, hardly able to believe the
resentment she had been harboring.

"I
do know what it’s like," Jake said into the silence that followed
her outburst. His voice was stark and he sounded fed up with her.

Tye
looked at him. "I’m sorry, Jake. I’m insensitive. Of course
you do. You gave up everything to take care of your family. Everything was
pulled out from under you." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Even
I abandoned you."

"Drop
it, it’s in the past."

Tye
wanted to say more, but the dark look on Jake’s face stopped her. She
drew a shaky breath instead. "You’re right, it’s the past, old
history." She tossed her hair back, feeling a shiver work its way across
her shoulders. "Everything was fine until you started using amateur
psychology on me."

Jake put
the towel and limb under his arm and squatted beside Tye. "You weren't
doing fine. You were pretending and running scared. We all do it from time to
time. You're so afraid of being vulnerable, you step away from anything even
remotely related to help. But you can't be strong every minute." His palm
reached out to cradle her jaw. For a moment Tye let herself go weak and lean
into that touch. Right now she did not want to be strong. She wanted to be
enfolded in Jake’s arms. She wanted him to kiss her again, but longer and
deeper. Tye pulled herself back from temptation with difficulty.

"You're
damn fool crazy," she retorted. His words made sense but Tye didn't want
to admit it. She was afraid it would give him some kind of power over her. She
wasn’t that same young girl who had adored him.

"Am
I, Tye? When you arrived yesterday the first thing on your mind was bolting. I
know I remind you of the accident, and that's got to be damned hard, hard
enough that it pulls at your gut, but maybe in a way it'll help the healing
process."

Tye bit
the inside of her cheek and didn't answer. Jake had pretty much hit the nail on
the head. She could never let him know about the acute, wrenching
disappointment she had felt. It caused a strange mixture of emotions learning
that the man whose image she had clung to had in actual fact been a real,
fallible human. A man who hadn’t believed in her enough to continue loving
a mixed-up teenager.
Why, Jake,
she cried
inside,
why didn’t you come after me all those
years ago
? Tye held her breath, afraid for a moment she had said the
words aloud.

"Tye,
I'm sorry you got hurt. Sorry if it bothers you that I was there that day. At
some point you'll have to come to terms with your life, and all that it can be.
Not what it used to be." Jake stood up, an almost stern expression on his
face. "Despite what's happened, your life isn't over. You must realize
that."

"I
know that! I'm going to get better, then I'm going back to my old life,"
she said defiantly, crossing her arms.

Jake
lifted a brow. "You don't have to convince me. You always had more
determination than two people. I'm sure you’ll do it if that's what you
want."

"Of
course it is." Tye clenched her jaw, her eyes fixed on the water.
"Rodeo is my life."

"What
if what you're wishing for might not be what you want in the end?"

Tye
snapped her gaze up to meet Jake's. "Rodeo is what I've always wanted.
There's never been any doubt." Except for the brief period she had thought
she wanted kids and Jake as a husband. Tye dismissed that memory. It had been
long ago. Instead, she focused on her daddy’s words.
Tylie girl, you can have the world at your feet.

She
needed to win, and win big. Somehow, the thought didn’t soothe her.

"You're
a survivor, Tye, but there's no rule book that says survivors have to go it
alone."

"What
are you suggesting ― that I shack up with you?" she asked
sarcastically. "That would be convenient. We could share the electric
bill, the newspaper and toothpaste, wedded life ad nauseam." Even as she
spoke, Tye felt a sick, twisting ache inside. She wanted to stop the terrible
words, but they spilled from her lips, a wealth of bitterness she’d kept
stored.

"Wow,
you’ve got a real active imagination."

Carefully,
Jake placed the now-dry prosthesis beside her.

"Believe
me, I’m not about to go down that road with you again."

"Well,
the whole institution of marriage is boring," Tye said rudely, trying to
pretend his words hadn’t stung. She felt as if she was being torn up
inside, but the words just kept coming. "I'm not cut out for sitting still
or putting down roots."

"Maybe.
Maybe not. I guess if you say it enough times you’ll take it as
gospel."

"What
makes you so smart? I don’t see anyone around here sharing your life. You
haven’t done anything about getting married or having kids."

Jake
went still, then he dipped his head in acknowledgment he turned and began to
walk away. "Point well taken."

Ashamed
of herself, Tye wondered for a moment if she had hurt him. With shaking
fingers, she reached for the leg, then muttered an almost desperate,
"Damn."

Jake
looked at her over his shoulder. She couldn't read the expression on his face,
but it seemed to be somewhere between indifference and mild curiosity.

"Need
something?" he drawled.

Taking a
deep breath, Tye realized she could hop all the way to her door or she could
ask for Jake’s help. She wasn't sure which bothered her more.

"Yes.
It's my socks ― the special socks for my leg. They're all wet. I need
some dry ones."

"Where
are they?"

"They’re
in the bathroom on a towel on the counter. They should be dry. I'll need two
pairs."

"I'll
be right back." Jake pushed his wet jeans down and stepped out of them.
Tye watched them fall to the deck, wondering if they would be ruined by the
chlorinated water. Underneath he wore dark blue swimming shorts. Tye stared at
the muscular length of his legs, his perfect legs, then hurriedly turned her
head away. She felt as if she was on fire.