Witch Fall (27 page)

Regrets are like a parasite living inside you. You have to find a way to stop feeding them or they eat you alive. ~Jolin

Lilette sat beside the window in Sash’s house, watching the chesli flowers curl shut and the moths flutter away, watching the night die in the morning light. She felt as if a part of her had died with it. Her hand rested on the book she’d found. She hadn’t looked at it again—she couldn’t bear to.

Han sat in silence across from her. Someone else might have said he was sorry and tried to console her with words or gestures. Han just stayed close, sharing Lilette’s grief with her.

When morning finally came, she tucked the book back into her tunic and stood.

“Where are you going?” Han asked.

She strode toward the door. “To find answers.”

Doranna had finally gone to sleep upstairs, and Lilette had no desire to wake her. She stepped into the weak morning light. Han came up behind her and checked his sword before strapping his baldric over his chest.

Together they walked up the path. People gave them strange looks as they passed. Lilette hadn’t bothered to change her clothes or wash her face. Her eyes were probably smeared with kohl, and her hair had fallen from its bun to lay in messy waves around her shoulders. With his armor and his impassive face, Han looked the part of the warrior.

The pavilion was empty, so they strode to Merlay’s tree. Lilette didn’t knock, she just thrust open the door. A wastrel with a smudge of flour on her nose hurried into the front room but stuttered to a halt when she saw Lilette and Han.

“I will see her. Now,” Lilette demanded, her voice shaking.

Just as the wastrel began telling them to leave, Jolin stepped into view. Lilette wasn’t surprised to see her. She blinked sleep from her eyes. “Lilette, Han, what are you—”

Lilette held out the book she’d found—the one Jolin had written. “How many of us have you betrayed?”

Jolin’s face went deathly pale. “Bani, go away.”

The wastrel disappeared back the way she’d come. Jolin dropped her gaze and started up the winding stairs, Lilette and Han silently following. At the second floor, she knocked on the door. “Lilette is with me. She knows.”

Several seconds later, Merlay walked out wearing a dressing gown. Lilette took a vicious pleasure in her matted hair and bloodshot eyes. She held up the book. “You’ve found a way to hide your songs from the others. And you attacked Harshen last night.”

Merlay didn’t deny it as Lilette had expected. The Head of Light just sighed, her shoulders sagging as if the load she carried was too heavy to bear. “Bani,” she called down the stairs, “please bring us some tea.”

She asked Lilette and Han to follow her and strode to another room, a library. She crossed the room to step onto a balcony surrounded by flowers. A branch bridge connected the balcony to the listening tree. Merlay stared out over the city as the morning light glinted off the tops of the trees and shone on the distant sea. “I’m sorry,” she said to Lilette. “It was a very long night last night. I’m very tired.”

“Don’t lie to me,” Lilette said. “You attacked Harshen—I felt it.”

Merlay sighed. “I did.”

It took everything Lilette had to control her rage. “You killed my sister?”

Merlay turned to face them, tears streaking down her face. “The emperor did. He killed all of them.”

Lilette staggered back, and Han said,  “No. Chen is many things, but he isn’t a murderer.”

Merlay looked at him. “Our spies confirmed it. They were all killed yesterday evening, just after the chesli harvest began.”

Suddenly, Lilette found it very hard to remain standing. She slumped into a chair. She’d been feasting in the pavilion, trying to climb into the nearest man’s lap, while her sister had her head cut from her body? How had Lilette not felt it? How had she not known that a part of her had died?

Han hadn’t moved from his place by the door. “What did you do?”

Merlay looked away, as if she couldn’t bear the sight of Lilette in pain. “We shook the city to its knees.”

“And Chen?” Lilette choked out.

Merlay glanced at her. “Our spies have searched what remains of the palace. I think it’s safe to say you are a widow now.”

“Chen wouldn’t do this,” Han repeated, but this time without conviction.

Lilette buried her face in her hands. “I watched him kill his wife.”

She felt Han’s gaze on her. “He saved her the humiliation of a public execution,” he said. “Gave her the chance to be buried by her father instead of sold for curses.”

Lilette shook her head. They were brothers. Even if Chen was guilty, Han would naturally stand up for him, believe the best of him. She refused to dwell on the fact that Han’s brother had killed her sister.

Jolin finally spoke up from behind them. Lilette had almost forgotten she was there. “You see why I had to help them?”

Lilette refused to look at Jolin.“You’ve never used that barrier before?” Lilette asked.

“It’s called the veil. They couldn’t,” Jolin said. “They didn’t even know about my research into barriers until a few months ago.”

Lilette directed her words at Merlay. “Why keep their deaths a secret? Why not tell everyone—why not tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want to ruin the celebration. Because we wanted to respond without the burden of public debate. Because I couldn’t bear to spoil your first chesli harvest.”

Lilette sagged. When she’d seen the book in Jolin’s handwriting, when she’d realized what the witches were doing, she’d assumed they were secretly cursing Harshen. She’d been wrong. “That veil—it’s offensive. Evil even.”

“I designed it that way,” Jolin spoke up, “to repel anyone who happened to stumble upon it.”

“Surely you knew I could sense it,” Lilette said to Merlay.

“I was informed of your . . . condition . . . by the guardians. I didn’t think you’d have the awareness to realize what was going on.”

“That’s another thing,” Han growled. “What that man did to her—”

Merlay cut him a look. “Believe me, he will be severely punished.”

Lilette stared at the harbor, ships coming and going as if the world wasn’t falling apart. “Why not make the counterattack public?”

“That’s . . . complicated.” Merlay said.

Lilette glared at her. “I think I can handle it.”

“Because if the world begins to view witches as weapons, they’ll start using us as such. From greedy rulers down to jaded farmers, they’ll know they can capture one of us and torture her until we do their bidding. How can we stop it? We risk becoming slaves to the very people we rule.”

“That’s why you did it,” Lilette said. “Because Chen was using his captives to sing a counter-curse. You couldn’t let the world know that. Couldn’t let them know that with their own group of witches, they don’t need you—that you couldn’t stop them.”

If she hadn’t been drugging herself, she would have realized all of this from the beginning. Perhaps she couldn’t have changed anything, but perhaps she could have. Now she would never know.

Lilette closed her eyes as she imagined her sister’s terrible death. “What did Chen do to them?”

Merlay’s head dropped. “Our spies have indicated that Sash and the others turned on Chen. Most of them died in the aftermath, and some killed themselves when they realized they couldn’t escape. There were only two left—we don’t know who. He had them beheaded.”

Han was staring out the window in the direction of Harshen, his face troubled. But he didn’t argue.

Merlay moved to sit behind her desk. “Jolin, Han, if you will wait outside, I need to speak with Lilette alone.”

After they had gone, Merlay studied Lilette over her steepled fingers. “We now find ourselves dealing with a conquered nation, a ruined city, and a downtrodden people.”

Lilette could well imagine the devastation. She’d seen Rinnish destroyed before.

“I don’t have the time or the inclination to mince words,” Merlay went on. “Harshen is in need of a new ruler. I’d like that ruler to be you.”

Lilette gaped at her. “Women don’t rule in Harshen. They don’t have any power at all.”

“Well, perhaps it’s time you changed that. If the Harshens want rain, if they want their seeds to sprout, they will do what I tell them to.”

Lilette’s insides seemed to sink into a puddle around her feet. “You want Harshen at your mercy.”

“They are already at our mercy,” Merlay huffed. “You would be a good candidate. You’re already their empress, and they consider you one of them. But you are also one of us.”

Lilette fisted her hands at her sides. “All I’ve ever wanted was for my sister to be safe. Beyond that, I wanted to be a keeper—the best of them.” And she just couldn’t give up on that dream.

Merlay inclined her head. “We can send you a tutor. Nassa has been begging for the job. And you’ll have the opportunity to really change things for the better. How can you refuse?”

Lilette rubbed her temples to try to stop the headache forming behind her eyes. “If anyone should rule Harshen, it should be Han. He’s the best man I know.”

Merlay’s gaze shifted to the window, which overlooked the Heads’ garden, the circle, and beyond that, the city itself. “He doesn’t have the ties to the keepers that you do. But . . . it would strengthen your claim as empress to have one of the emperor’s sons as your consort.”

Lilette’s heart fluttered in her chest. “I’m not sure Han would agree.”

Merlay chuckled. “He risked his life, betrayed his country and his brother for you—a man doesn’t do that unless he’s hopelessly in love.

“He never betrayed his country.” She tried to think past the shock of Merlay’s proposal. “If I agree, Harshen would be free of the keepers?”

“If they stay in line, yes.”

“What do you mean, stay in line? Harshen will never be a puppet nation. They are too scattered and too stubborn.”

Merlay lifted her brows. “As long as they pose no threat to Kalari and pay Vorlay for the loss of their armada, they’ll be free.”

From what Merlay was telling her, in the end Lilette would have everything she’d ever wanted. “I’ll do it.”

Merlay pushed up from her chair and headed toward the door. “Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a lot to do before we announce this at the chesli harvest. Why don’t you take one of the guest rooms downstairs? It’ll be easier if you’re close, and you look like you’ve had less sleep than I have.”

Lilette followed her into the hall. Jolin and Han were nowhere to be seen. “No. I’ll stay at my sister’s home. Besides, I won’t be able to sleep.”

Merlay went into her room, which was filled with tasteful furnishings and muted colors. She opened a side drawer beside her bed and took out a bottle with familiar-looking sprigs of herbs inside.

Lilette met the other woman’s gaze. “A sleeping tincture?”

Merlay nodded and Lilette took the bottle wordlessly. Her head was pounding, and it took every remaining bit of her strength to keep her emotions at bay. She descended the stairs just as the wastrel went up with a tray of tea and scones. Her face fell when she saw Lilette.

“I’m sorry it took so long. Would you like breakfast with your tea?”

Lilette mouth watered, but she now believed Bethel and would never eat anything she hadn’t seen prepared. “No. Thank you.”

Jolin was waiting for her in the receiving room, her expression pensive. “Lilette, I’m sorry.”

Lilette couldn’t respond at first. “I’ll see you tonight.” She left the tree, shutting the door behind her. Once outside, she glanced around to make sure no one was watching and tossed
the tincture into the foliage.

Did she ever forgive me? ~Jolin

Lilette smoothed her silk robe. It was gorgeous, with images of the sinuous, five-clawed dragon in black and gold. Doranna set a headdress inlaid with gems and turquoise on her head, strands of clinking pearls dangling past her ears.

She already wore the ruby brooch and the dragon ring. Wearing a copy of Laosh’s ring made her cringe, but Merlay had insisted. 

It had taken nearly every Harshen craftsman Merlay could scrounge up to create this ensemble. And they all had orders for more. Dozens of robes, a smaller headdress, slippers, even little things like pots of kohl and scrolls for Lilette’s mandates.

“You must look the part,” Merlay had said when she inspected Lilette earlier. “They have to feel you’re above them if they’re ever to follow you.”

Lilette hadn’t liked that, but she hadn’t bothered arguing.

Doranna touched her arm, startling Lilette. “You’re ready.” Doranna opened the door to Merlay’s library, and they stepped inside.

Outside, night had fallen. The chesli flowers on the balcony were open, and moths and other night insects flocked from one to the next. A trail of glowing pollen drifted from their wings and lent an otherworldly glow to the inner city.

Lilette slipped forward, keeping out of sight behind the chesli flowers. On the balcony on the opposite side of the woven-branch bridge was the listening tree. All four Heads were there—Jolin with them.

At the sight, Lilette’s stomach twisted in knots. “I don’t feel ready.” She wished Han was beside her, but no one had seen him all day. Merlay had dispatched dozens of guardians to search for him, but so far they hadn’t found him.

Lilette knew how capable Han was. How strong. But she still worried. Something wasn’t right—she knew it deep in her bones.

Her gaze shifted to take in her surroundings. From this vantage point, she could see everything from the Heads’ pavilion down to the city surrounded by an ethereal glow that ended at the liquid darkness of the ocean.

Despite the breathtaking view, Lilette’s eyes kept being drawn to the wastrels, cloths in their hands to gather the pollen. It didn’t seem fair that they had to work from the inner city to the outer until the flowers closed off at dawn, then snatch a few hours of sleep before being up to prepare the feasts.

There had to be a better way. A more fair way. An idea began to take shape in her mind. “Doranna, can you gather as many wastrels as possible under this balcony?”

The wastrel raised a single brow. “Why?”

“Just trust me.”

Doranna took a deep breath and headed to the door. She swung it open, and Lilette heard footsteps. A moment later, Han was ushered in by three native-born Harshens, all of them carrying silk robes and other finery to match Lilette’s.

Han’s gaze flew to her face, to the robes and headdress. He froze, his face expressionless. Doranna gave Lilette a nod and stepped out of sight.

Lilette’s heart raced. Han still didn’t know. What if he refused to marry her? She took a steadying breath and looked at the Harshens. “Leave them and go.”

One of them bowed nearly in half. “Empress, the announcements will start any moment.”

She forced a patient expression on her face. “I know. Thank you.”

At least he didn’t miss the dismissal in her tone. They departed without a word, leaving her alone with Han.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Where were you?”

“I went looking for Pescal.”

“Looking for him?”

“He escaped the guardians. No one told you?”

“No.”

Han’s mouth tightened. “I’ve been searching for him all day, but it’s like he disappeared. No one has seen him and no one knows where he might have gone, which probably means someone is sheltering him.” Han paused. “Something’s not right here, Lilette.”

She shivered. “I know.”

At the other balcony, Merlay had begun her introductions. Lilette was running out of time. “They’ve made me empress.”

“You never stopped being the empress,” Han replied.

She couldn’t look at him. She took a step deeper into the room. “Han . . . I’m leaving. As soon as the ships are prepared.”

He moved to stand before her. “I thought you wanted to be here more than anything.”

She picked one of the gleaming flowers and twirled it between her fingers. “It doesn’t matter what I want. It never has.”

His brows arched. “It matters to me.”

She finally turned to face him. “Are you in love with me?”
Because I’m in love with you.
She didn’t say it. She wanted his answer first.

His breath caught in his throat. “Lilette . . .”

Just to make sure he knew exactly what choosing her meant, she stepped forward and pressed her lips against his. He returned her kiss, breathing her in as if she intoxicated him. She liked that, liked the barely contained restraint she could taste on him. What would he ever do if that restraint were gone? She shuddered deliciously at the thought.

She broke away from him and savored the smell of him in her nostrils, the taste of him on her tongue. “I need you, Han. I always have.”

He pressed his forehead against hers, as if finally surrendering. “Where you go, I go.” She heard the promise in his words.

A smile spread across her face. “Where you go, I go.” It felt like a bargain had been struck between them. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, their bodies and hearts entwining as he kissed her, lighting a smoldering coal deep inside her chest.

In the background, she was vaguely aware of Jolin launching into her speech about her pendant, Merlay announcing the first apprentice ever promoted to a full keeper in order to become Head of Plants. The crowd cheered wildly.

It was almost Lilette’s turn. Breathless, she broke away from Han. “There’s more.” She let out a slow breath. “I . . . well, they want me to take you as my consort.”

Shock crossed his face. Lilette forced herself not to look away, to wait as the disbelief melted away into something else.

“We have one other announcement to make,” Merlay cried out over the sounds of the crowd.

Creators’ mercy, I took too long.
“I have to go. It’s my turn.” She backed away from him onto the center of the balcony.

“A new leader has been chosen for Harshen,” Merlay continued. “This leader has strong connections to us as well as to this errant land. May I present Empress Lilette.” She threw out her arm in Lilette’s direction.

Thousands of eyes fell on Lilette, their scrutiny burning through her. She threw her shoulders back and kept her expression blank. Now it was her turn to amaze them. She opened her mouth and called for a wind to come through the trees. She gathered pollen from the flowers, curling it into a cocoon, much as the witches did when they sent messages with the wind. A glowing gust twisted through the trees, dancing among the crowd until all conversation ceased. She directed it toward the few dozen wastrels Doranna had gathered at the base of the tree.

When Lilette judged it close enough, she abruptly stopped singing. The wastrels held their jars to the sky as pollen drifted down, dusting their skin like glowing freckles. It fell across Lilette as well, sticking to the tiny hairs of her arms and making her gleam.

Below her, the wastrels’ faces glowed with happiness and pollen. The sight brought a lightness to Lilette’s heart. Other wastrels were came to dust the pollen into their overflowing jars. “Now,” Lilette said with a smile, “perhaps you can enjoy the celebration with the others.”

The wastrels cheered, and many in the crowd joined in. But Lilette noticed a woman staring at her with something close to contempt in her eyes. And she was not the only one. Then the multitude parted to reveal the Harshen man and woman who had dressed Lilette the evening she met Pescal. The man and woman were kowtowing in respect. There was another disturbance in the crowd as more native-born Harshens bowed to Lilette. The keepers murmured among themselves.

“She has already been accepted by those Harshens among us!” Merlay shouted. The other Heads clapped. That seemed to be all the direction the crowd needed to break into applause. Merlay caught Lilette’s gaze before looking pointedly behind her. Lilette turned to find Han wearing the tunic that had been laid out for him.

“Han?” she said, her voice trembling. He caught her face in his hands and kissed her.

Merlay cried out, “And it appears she will have a Harshen prince as her consort to strengthen her claim!”

The people roared in approval. Lilette gripped Han’s wrists and pulled back. “Is all this for them?” She tipped her head toward the crowd. “For Harshen? Or is it for us?” she finished in a whisper.

Han rested his forehead against hers. “All three.”

She searched his gaze. “You’re sure?”

“Since that day in the cherry tree.”

He kissed her again. Lilette couldn’t hear the crowd anymore. Couldn’t feel the night air. There was only Han, his gentle kisses as soft as the moth wings that brushed against her pollen-dusted skin.