With Abandon: With or Without, Book 3 (3 page)

“No, no, no,” Sterling interrupted again. “That isn’t right. He’s gay. Period. End. Of. Story. He should have a guy for a mate.”

A horn honked in the distance and Logan let out a long, dramatic sigh. “That doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t work that way. We don’t get to choose. And believe me, I’m not exactly thrilled with that either. I swear…if you two jinx me and I end up with a male mate, I’m going to— Well, never mind, the point is you can’t choose your mate. No one can.”

“Of course not, but you wouldn’t have a mate who didn’t suit you.” Sterling sounded outraged.

Matt nodded his agreement with Sterling and turned toward the bed, putting his back against the floor-to-ceiling window. His suitcases sat on the floor by the elaborate iron footboard, and his bag lay on top of the blue comforter. Should he unpack? Would Aubrey want him to stay after Matt told him about Tara?

There was a rustling, some cussing and Sterling asked, “Matt?”

“I wasn’t done talking,” Logan shouted. “Give that back.”

There was more rustling. “Piss off.” Sterling’s voice held a hint of amusement. “Matt?”

“Yeah, I’m here. What’s up, Sterling?” Matt plodded to the bed, shoved his bag aside and sat down, gazing out the window again.

“Is there any way you could be mistaken?”

“Sterling, you aren’t helping,” Logan groused in the background.

Turning back around, Matt lay on the mattress, staring at the pristine white ceiling and recessed lights. “I don’t know. My sense of smell has always been pretty good. But my reaction to her is on-again, off-again. Is that normal? I mean, my dad doesn’t walk around with his eyes shifted all the time. Remi and Jake don’t either.” Come to think on it, Matt’s eyes hadn’t actually shifted. Matt got up and paced to the window again. He couldn’t sit still.

“Yeah, the more you’re around them the easier it is to control your body. Man, this sucks. It just doesn’t seem right.” Sterling sounded sad. “Even when Remi tried to convince himself he wasn’t gay, the fates, or whatever, knew otherwise. They gave him Jake. And there’s me and I got Rhys. And—”

“And Chay got Keaton,” Logan stated in his
I’m always right
tone. “You can’t choose. Now give me the damned phone back.”

Matt grinned despite the situation. His younger brother was so overtly dominant it was ridiculous. Matt half-expected him to beat on his chest and grunt instead of talking. God help Logan’s mate when he found one. It was surprising Logan hadn’t ripped the phone from Sterling’s hand already. He must be driving.

Matt pulled the phone away from his ear and checked the time.
Noon.
He’d forgotten to change to Eastern Time. Matt changed it and put the phone back to his ear. This move was proving to be an adjustment in more ways than one. He wasn’t just going to have to adjust to living in Atlanta and going to school. He was going to have to adjust to having a female mate, because Logan was right. Destiny may have given Jake to Remi and Rhys to Sterling. One could even argue that Keaton got Chay, but there was Chay. Chay wasn’t gay and he’d ended up with Keaton.

“Hey, bro? You okay?” Logan’s voice softened.

“Yeah, I’m good. I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else.” Chay was content. Keaton may not be his preferred gender, but he loved Keaton and Chay was truly happy. Matt crossed the room and flopped down on the bed again. “Don’t tell anyone about this. Tell Sterling to keep quiet too. I don’t want anyone to know yet.”

For several seconds only the sound of wind rushed over the phone speaker—they must have the top down in Logan’s car—then Logan asked, “What’s it worth to you?”

“Logan! I swear I’ll kill you.”

Logan cackled, and it was downright evil.

He might’ve laughed too, but his brother’s mirth was like having the rug jerked out from under him. Matt hadn’t had a prayer of beating Logan up since he turned fifteen. “I mean it, Logan. I’ll tell Dad about you sneaking out last year to meet that girl in Sandoval County.”

“All right, you win. I won’t tell.” Logan sounded amused rather than threatened. Which probably meant he’d had no plans on telling Matt’s secret in the first place.

A soft, floral scent drifted into the room and a knock came from behind him. Pushing up on the mattress to his elbows, Matt turned to find Tara standing in the doorway.

“Bree is on his way up now. I’m going to head out so I can get in the elevator when he gets here. Maybe I can get out without him realizing I stole his Falcons cap again.” She adjusted the cap, pulling it lower over her forehead. “I just wanted to say bye.”

“Holy shit,” Logan interrupted. “Is that her? She has a sexy voice.”

Matt’s stomach plummeted. She was leaving? “Hold please.” As he stood, Matt pulled the phone away and covered it with his hand. He made his way around the bed to Tara.

She hugged him and kissed his cheek. “I’ll call later to check on you. Maybe we can get together and do something before you go to school on Monday. I think Bree took off work tomorrow to help you get settled in, but maybe we can go do something Saturday?”

Yeah, if I’m still here.
Matt forced a smile and hugged her back. “I’d like that.” He was reluctant to let her go, which was odd, but the space would do him good. He needed time to think.

“Okay, I’ll let you finish your conversation. Aubrey should be here in a few.” She waved and strolled out the door.

Matt pulled the phone to his ear. “I should go.”

The front door of the condo closed.

“Don’t do anything yet,” Logan said. “I have money put away for college. We can use that to get you an apartment over there if need be.”

“No way. I’m not taking it. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll come home or maybe look into another student loan.”

Logan sighed, sounding put out. “Just don’t do anything yet. Try and get a feel for Aubrey before you say anything.”

“I’m not. I’m going to sleep on it and get my bearings.”

“Good. Call me before you spill the beans to anyone, and let me know what’s what.”

The front door clicked open.

“I will. I’m gonna tell Tara before I tell—” The alluring woodsy scent he’d detected off and on all day sucker-punched him. Matt’s eyes shifted, his canines exploded through his gums and the breath whooshed from his lungs. His cock hardened and his head spun.

“Matt?” an unfamiliar masculine voice called. “I’m— Oh shit.” The smell of arousal carried through the open door of the guest bedroom.

Matt stumbled to the door, his brain trying to process what had just happened.

“Matthew?” Logan asked hesitantly.

A man in an expensive-looking business suit, his tie hanging loose around his neck, his jacket and a laptop case over his right arm stood in the living room. He held keys in his left hand. They dropped to the floor as his lupine eyes met Matt’s.

“Matt, talk to me,” Logan persisted. “What’s wrong?”

It snapped Matt out of his daze somewhat. “I’ll have to call you back, bro.” He hit
end
on his phone. It slipped right out of his numb fingers, clattering onto the hard wood. “Aubrey?”

The man nodded, seemingly as shell-shocked as Matt. “And your mate, apparently.”

Chapter Three

Disconcerting as it was, it would seem Aubrey’s body was no longer his. Instinct had taken over as soon as he’d stepped into his condo and gotten a good whiff of Matt. Aubrey’s eyes had shifted, his canines dropped and his damn prick was hard as a rock. The one thing he never wanted to happen had just happened. He’d found his mate. He took a deep breath and tried to compose himself. The breath didn’t help, it only overwhelmed his senses more. His ab muscles tensed, making it hard to breathe. His insides hurt, his stomach flip-flopped and his whole body broke out in a fine sweat. He’d connected with Matt too fast, but he’d ignored the warning sign.

“Hi, um, I’m mate—” Matt gulped air and his eyes widened so big Aubrey feared hyperventilation was imminent. His face grew blotchy, and even in black and white the blush was obvious. “I mean Matt.” Slapping a hand to the side of his forehead, he dropped his gaze. “I guess you figured that out already, huh? I mean, I doubt you come home to strange men in your place all the time. Not that I’m strange or anything… You
did
invite me but…never mind.” He shrugged and turned toward the guestroom. “I’ll just shut up and get my things and—”

“Wait.” Aubrey’s chest tightened painfully, overwhelmed with despair. His body didn’t care what his mind wanted or didn’t want. He tossed his jacket and laptop on the couch in his hurry to get to Matt. Grabbing Matt’s arm, he swung him around. “You cain’t go.”
Good God.
Not only did he sound desperate, but the Southern accent from hell that he worked hard to contain had put in an appearance. Swallowing the knot in his throat, Aubrey released Matt. It’d be better for all involved if Matt left and they both just pretended this hadn’t happened, but his conscience and sense of duty wouldn’t let him. “I offered you a place to stay while you go to school and that stands. I don’t want you to leave unless you really want to, but first we need to talk.”

Matt nodded. “Okay. Yeah. We probably should, huh?” As if in a trance, he walked to the couch and took a seat. A zombie couldn’t have done it better. He stared off into space for a few seconds before looking up at Aubrey.

Aubrey stood transfixed. He hadn’t registered Matt’s looks due to the shock of their bond, but now a whole other kind of shock hit him. Matt had short wavy black hair combed back off his forehead with a side part. His skin was tan, and he had the expected Native American high cheekbones. Not a single freckle or blemish marked his smooth complexion now that the blush was gone. He had thick arched brows and a long straight nose. Not too long though—it fit the rest of his features.

His eyes were lighter than the dark brown expected from a man with an Apache heritage, but Aubrey couldn’t determine the exact color with his own eyes shifted. He blinked, but it didn’t help. Instead his gaze landed on Matt’s mouth. Good God, his mouth was amazing. Aubrey’s cock jerked at the sight. The pull of arousal intensified and he began to ache with need. Matt had the most beautiful mouth he’d ever seen, a perfect cupid’s bow. They were a man’s lips though, nice and thick. It didn’t take much imagination for Aubrey to picture those lips swollen from use. He shook his head to clear it. “I need a drank.” He turned toward the bar. “You wont—ahem,
want
one?”
Damn nerves.

“Um, I’m not old enough…”

Right. He would turn twenty in a couple of months. A little over ten years separated them. Technically, in werewolf culture, Aubrey was now responsible for Matt. No one in their right mind would challenge Aubrey’s guardianship of the younger wolf, not even Matt’s parents.

“You can have a drink if you want one, because you aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.” Aubrey stepped behind the mahogany-and-granite wet bar and pulled a single malt glass out of the cabinet. He grabbed the Glenlivet 1972 off the shelf behind the bar and poured himself a splash, studied it for a second and poured more. Setting the bottle down with a thud, he tossed back his drink, or tried to. The rim of the glass hit his canines with a clink, but somehow the alcohol ended up mostly in his mouth. Only a few dribbles spilled on his shirt.

Watching from the couch, Matt winced. “Stupid teeth.” The tips of his own canines peeked out from beneath his top lip.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Aubrey let the scotch slide down his throat, savoring the burn. “Ahh.” His teeth shrank back to normal, and when he opened his eyes he saw pink. Matt wore a pink shirt?
Gay.
Aubrey nearly groaned at himself. Keaton had told Aubrey he was pretty sure Matt was gay when he’d asked if Aubrey would watch after Matt. It hadn’t mattered to Aubrey then and it didn’t now. Except it sort of did…

Denying Matt made Aubrey even more of a jerk. A male mate would be no big deal to Matt. But maybe Matt didn’t want a mate at all because he certainly didn’t look like it was no big deal.

Retrieving another glass, Aubrey splashed a couple fingers of whisky into it. Holding it out, he sloshed the scotch a little in invitation. “Here. This helps.”

Cocking his head just a tad, Matt furrowed his brow, shrugged and stood. “Okay.”

Aubrey poured himself some more. Matt was taller than him by a couple of inches, around Tara’s height.
He’s just your type, ole man.
Like he didn’t have enough problems without adding his sexual preferences into the mix. Matt was quite simply beautiful…and young and male and—
Shit
. There went his eyes again. He supposed it was an improvement though, because his teeth remained human.

Taking the glass, Matt sat on the barstool opposite Aubrey. He swirled the drink and frowned. A small shiver racked his lithe body. Matt’s heart rate galloped ninety to nothing, and the smell of unease overpowered the scent of both of their arousal.

Aubrey tensed. “Go ahead, Matt. It’ll relax you.” Bowing his head, he rubbed his temples and waited for Matt to take a drink.

Matt swigged the glass back and choked. His face turned blotchy again.

Aubrey winced. The urge to do something was strong, but he knew there was nothing he could do. Watching Matt’s distress made his eyes go back to normal though.

When finally the coughing died down, Matt took a deep breath. He had tears in his eyes, but they were human and his teeth were no longer visible below his lip. “Man. What is that stuff?”

“Good ole scotch whisky. Cures what ails you,” Aubrey poured himself some more. He grabbed Matt’s glass. “Maybe you should switch to water or something.”

Matt frowned. Rather than seeming fierce, he looked like an annoyed puppy. It was cute and brought to mind Keaton’s dog, Pita, tugging on someone’s pant leg. “No. Give me some more. I’m not a complete puss.”

Chuckling, Aubrey added some liquor to Matt’s glass. “Try sipping this time.” He snagged a barstool and brought it behind the bar so he could sit facing Matt. He propped his arms on the bar and watched the glimmers of sunlight filtering in through the spaces between the closed vertical blinds. The silence stretched for several moments as Aubrey lifted his glass and sniffed the deep, crisp smell of alcohol. After taking a sip he set the glass down.

“I thought Tara was my mate.” Matt frowned at his scotch and swished it side to side. He glanced up at Aubrey, making eye contact. Matt’s eyes were a deep blue, the color of a night sky in the country.

“Boy, did you get screwed.”

Matt shrugged one shoulder. “I was afraid to tell you. I thought you’d hate me.”

“I wouldn’t have hated you.” The tightness in Aubrey’s chest eased but his conscience cringed. He didn’t want to hurt Matt. “I’m just sorry you got gypped. The truth sucks, huh?” Matt and Tee would look great together. Black-haired Barbie and Ken.

“Nah. Not really. Tara would’ve made a whole other set of problems.” Matt took a sip and gave Aubrey a goofy little lopsided grin. It was endearing as hell. “And not just because you’re engaged to her.”

He should just lie and tell Matt the reason there could never be anything between them was because of a commitment to Tara. Matt would probably be relieved, and he’d never have to learn that Aubrey was gay. He nodded, but what came out of his mouth was, “Tee, isn’t my fiancée.”

“What?”

“Tara is my best friend, but there’s nothing and never has been anything between us. Everyone just assumes, and we’ve never felt the need to correct the assumption.”

“Well, there is still the fact that she’s a girl.” Matt wrinkled his nose. “That would’ve been weird.”

“Keaton said he thought you were gay.”

Matt tilted his head. “He did?”

“He wasn’t sure, but given our past he thought it best to mention it.”

“Your past?”

“It’s a long story, but Keaton thinks I tried to beat him up because he’s gay.”

Matt’s eyes widened. “Oh no. I forgot about that.” He slapped a hand over his mouth and wilted. “I didn’t think my being gay would even come up, and Chay said that you’d gotten over it and—”

“It’s not true, Matt. I don’t know what you heard, but I didn’t beat my brother up for being gay. For crying out loud I ripped another wolf’s throat out for him. Does that sound like something a person would do if they hated someone?”

“Um…no. You killed someone?” Matt asked with avid interest.

“I had no choice. He shot Chay and wouldn’t have stopped until Chay and Keaton were both dead.”

“Oh. I’m glad. I like Keaton and Chay. That was very brave of you.”

It hadn’t been bravado, it had been terror. “I guess.”

Looking down, Matt bit his bottom lip. He ran his finger around and around the rim of his glass. Finally, he picked it up, finished it off and met Aubrey’s gaze. “Where does that leave us?”

Aubrey hated himself for what he had to say, but he couldn’t give Matt false hope. He tossed back the rest of his drink, hoping it would lend him strength. “I don’t know, but I want you to stay.” He wanted to lick that full bottom lip Matt had held between his teeth too. “Other than that…” He shrugged. “I can’t afford a mate in my life, Matt, but I’d love to have another friend.”

A phone rang, startling Aubrey out of scrutinizing his socked feet. He glanced up and around from his position on the floor. The phone rang again. Odd, the sound came from floor level, not up high. Extracting his shoulders from the front of the couch he’d been using as a backrest, he peeked under the coffee table. Where the hell was that ringing coming from? It sounded like an old dial telephone with real bells. His home phone made more of an electronic ring sound and his cell played, “You Ain’t Just Whistlin’ Dixie
”.

“I got it,” Matt said from his sprawl on the couch but made no move to get up. Instead he turned his head, which slid off the cushions, nearly taking the rest of him with it.

Obviously, Matt wasn’t used to alcohol. Maybe he should’ve been cut off after the third one. Oh well, it wouldn’t last long with werewolf metabolism being what it was. “What is it and where is it?”

The bells stopped only to start up again a minute later.

Aubrey pushed Matt’s dark head back onto the cushions, unable to resist giving him a quick scratch behind the ear. Matt wouldn’t remember it anyway.

Matt’s shoulders ended up next to his ears, and his right foot kicked a couple of times. “Ooh ooh ooh…”

The lupine reaction was just too cute but not conducive to getting answers. Pulling his hand away, Aubrey turned his attention to the floor between the couch and the bar. “Matt, is that your phone?”

“Yep.” Matt lifted his head off the sofa and slapped around his waistline in a halfhearted search before letting his head fall back down. “No clue where it is though.”

It wasn’t anywhere in the vicinity of the couch, TV or coffee table. “Okay, this shouldn’t be that hard. We’re wolves, for crying out loud. Pinpointing sounds isn’t difficult.” Aubrey heaved himself up from the floor.

The phone stopped.

“Drunk wolves.” Matt giggled. The sweet, innocent melody echoed through the apartment. Was Matt always this uninhibited or was it the booze?

Aubrey shook his head. “I’m not drunk.” He never let himself get so wasted that he was careless anymore. At one time he’d been a party animal, trying to drown his problems, but that was years ago. He envied Matt the ability not to care, not to have to keep his guard up. Aubrey would give just about anything to have some of that innocence back.

The ringing started up again.

Aubrey wrenched his brain out of la-la land and followed the sound to the phone in the middle of the floor between the couch and the front door. Now he remembered. Matt had dropped it when they’d first seen each other some three hours earlier.

Swooping down and retrieving the cell as it rang for a third time, he hit the call button before whoever it was hung up or the call went to voice mail. “Hello?”

“Who’s this?” The voice was a little surprised, gruff—like whoever it was didn’t appreciate Aubrey answering Matt’s phone—and male.

Aubrey ground his teeth together and his right eye twitched. Who the hell was this and why was he calling Matt’s phone and acting all possessive? If Aubrey had been in wolf form, his hackles would’ve risen. “Aubrey Reynolds. Who’s this?”

“Oh hey.” The caller’s tone lightened immediately. “This is Logan. Can I talk to my brother?”

Ah, Logan. Aubrey relaxed marginally. Which one was he? Aubrey needed to learn which of Matt’s brothers were which. That was something he should know about his mate even if they weren’t really mated. But he had the next several months to figure that out.