With Abandon: With or Without, Book 3 (4 page)

Sprawled on the couch, Matt wiggled his fingers in front of his face. What was he doing?

Aubrey suppressed a chuckle. “Yeah, just a sec.” Taking the phone away from his ear, Aubrey headed toward Matt. “It’s Logan.”

Matt blinked up at him and flopped his hand out, palm up.

Aubrey gave him the phone and Matt put it upside down to his ear. “’Lo?”

“Matthew?” The concern in Logan’s voice came through loud and clear.

No doubt Matt heard his brother, but Aubrey took the phone and turned it the right way.

“What?” Matt scrunched up his brow and gave Aubrey a heart-stopping grin. “Thank you.”

Sitting on the arm of the couch over Matt’s head, Aubrey smiled down at his mate. “You’re welcome.” It would be easy to bend down and kiss him. What would he kiss like? Would he throw himself into the kiss? Or would he be shy and reserved, willing to follow Aubrey’s lead?

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Logan demanded.

Nodding, Matt kept his eyes on Aubrey. “Yup.”

Before he realized what he was doing, Aubrey brushed a lock of black hair off Matt’s forehead. His soft skin was such a striking color. Not many people had as smooth a complexion as Matt. He was amazing, and Aubrey’s fingers itched to touch him everywhere. Keeping his hands to himself was going to be harder than hell.

“Why didn’t you call me back? And why do you sound weird?” The younger Mahihkan—Matt was the firstborn—sounded more like an older brother.

“Had a few drinks. It’s all good.” Matt nodded again, dislodging the phone from his ear.

“Give the phone back to Aubrey.”

“’Kay.” He held the phone out and wiggled it at Aubrey.

Frowning, Aubrey took the phone. “Hello?”

“What’re your plans?”

“I beg your pardon?” Aubrey clenched his teeth again.

“Matt doesn’t drink.”

That much was obvious. Matt fiddled with something near Aubrey’s leg, grabbing it with his thumb and forefinger.

“I want to know he’s not going to end up dead in an alley.” Logan paused for a few seconds. “Let me be more specific. If something happens to Matthew—”

Aubrey squelched down a warning growl, fighting the surge of adrenaline. He couldn’t tell Logan to butt out. Officially, Aubrey wasn’t in the position to say what Matt could and couldn’t do without acknowledging to the world that Matt was his mate. He wanted to beat his head against a wall and maybe Logan’s too. He was going to have to control the possessive tendencies toward Matt. Matt’s brother was only looking out for him. Aubrey would be the same way if it were Keaton. Of course, Keaton would get all pissed and give Aubrey hell for it, but still… “Your brother is fine. He’s not going anywhere. I’m taking care of him.”

The leg of Aubrey’s gray slacks pulled tight and puckered over his knee.
What the hell?

Matt held a string, still attached to Aubrey’s suit pants, in front of his face. His eyes crossed as he stared at it and continued pulling.

“If you are trying to undress me, there are easier ways to do it.” Swatting Matt’s hand away, Aubrey chuckled and got up from the arm of the couch.

Giggling, Matt rolled to his stomach, surveying Aubrey like a puppy about to pounce.

“O—kay…” Logan commented, with a trace of humor in his voice. “We should’ve sent him away to college earlier. It’s nice to know he’s cutting loose some.”

Oh shit.
That hadn’t sounded good at all. What if Logan suspected something? An icy tingle plunged down Aubrey’s face and neck. “Sorry, there was a loose string on the knee of my pants that Matt decided to pull.” As a save it was kind of lame.

“Well damn. I hoped he was turning into a real wild child.” Logan snickered. “Seriously…just take care of him, okay? Getting him drunk is a good start, but while you’re at it why don’t you see if you can get him laid too.”

Freezing halfway to the kitchen, Aubrey tightened his hand on the phone. The image of Matt spread out on Aubrey’s big sleigh bed, naked and flushed with arousal, speared into his mind. His cock hardened, his throat went dry and his eyes blurred. “Yeah. Well, I’ll see what I can do.” Aubrey blinked. When he opened his eyes everything was monochrome.

Logan’s laugh taunted him. “Later. Tell Matt I’ll call him tomorrow.”

The line went dead.

Jerking the phone from his ear, Aubrey rubbed his eyelids with his finger and thumb. When he opened them again the rich burgundy of the candle on the kitchen bar and the soothing beige of the backs of the barstools greeted him. Logan was going to be a problem. How close were he and Matt? Would Matt tell his brother that he was Aubrey’s mate? Once upon a time Aubrey might have told Keaton, if things hadn’t changed drastically between them.

A shuffling came from behind Aubrey as he set Matt’s phone on the cold granite countertop. He ignored it and headed to the fridge. As he reached for the handle a fuzzy reflection appeared in the stainless steel, and Matt’s scent teased him. Aubrey yanked the door open. “Let’s get you something to eat to absorb some of that alcohol.”

“I think it’s wearing off because I’m getting a headache.”

Yeah, he would. Aubrey took out the deli ham, roast beef, mustard and Swiss cheese. “In my bathroom, in the medicine cabinet above the sink, there’s aspirin, Motrin, Tylenol and anything else you might want.” He retrieved the lettuce and tomatoes.

“Are you mad at me?” Matt asked.

After setting the stuff for sandwiches on the counter and closing the fridge, Aubrey turned. “No. Not at all. I was just thinking. I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Matt nodded and wobbled a little. “Yeah, I guess it’s not every day you find out you have a mate, huh?”

Aubrey steadied him, relieved at having something to do rather than explain himself. “Whoa. We need to get some food in you.” He marched Matt backwards without letting go of him, kicked a barstool out from under the bar and urged Matt into it. When Matt sat, Aubrey turned to go back to fixing them food, but Matt caught his hand. Glancing down at their entwined hands, Aubrey stared in fascination. Matt’s hands weren’t any bigger than his, but his fingers were longer. His hand was warm, the grip loose, hesitant.

“What were you thinking when I was talking to Logan?” Matt’s head tilted a fraction. “You had this look on your face…”

That you were beautiful. That I wanted you. That it’s going to be hard to keep from touching you.
Aubrey thought all those things, but he didn’t dare admit them. He squeezed Matt’s hand, reluctant to release it. For several seconds they just stayed there staring at each other.

Matt’s scent changed, taking on a muskier, lustful smell. He licked his lips, drawing Aubrey’s attention to them. They were so prettily shaped and pink.

Aubrey leaned forward, and Matt followed suit. His moist, slightly alcoholic breath tickled Aubrey’s chin as Matt closed his eyes. He feathered a caress over Aubrey’s other wrist and slid his fingers down to twine with Aubrey’s. It was like a moment out of time. Aubrey’s body, which had never completely recovered from the image of Matt in his bed, craved stimulation. Everything but Matt ceased to exist. His warm, exotic scent laced with the spicy sent of arousal. His body heat, the thrum of his pulse, were all like a siren’s song.

Their breaths mingled and their lips brushed together. Aubrey tilted his head to deepen the contact.

A sharp trill intruded, breaking the spell. Aubrey jerked back like he’d been shocked by a jolt of electricity. Damn. What had he been thinking?

Blinking, Matt raised his head and turned it, looking for the sound. A blush stained his cheeks while he fidgeted and took a sudden interest in his hands. “Sorry,” he whispered.

Aubrey retrieved the cordless phone from the counter next to the fridge and cleared his throat. The caller ID read:
Stuart, Tanner
. Tanner came from a long line of wolves who had been a part of Aubrey’s pack for generations. Aubrey groaned and clicked
talk
. “Hello?”

“Aubrey? Listen, your dad said we should direct all calls to you, and I have a bit of a situation here.” Tanner sounded amused rather than upset.

“What’s up, Tanner?”

“Well, it’s kind of a long story.”

Of course it was. Nothing with pack was quick. “Go on.” Aubrey glanced back at Matt.

Matt sat at the bar still looking poleaxed.

Tanner cleared his throat. “Me, Jason and Corde went out last night. We had a few drinks, and one thing led to another and we ended up back at Jase’s house.”

Uh-oh. Tanner and his friends were good ole country boys, the kind who had gun racks in their trucks and Copenhagen rings on their jeans. They were simple, easygoing and practical, unless they were drinking.

Aubrey brought the sandwich stuff to the island bar where Matt sat and began fixing them both a sandwich. Where the hell was his dad? Where was Tee’s dad for that matter? Jarred Brandt was the pack Beta. He should be handling this if the Alpha wasn’t available. “And?”

“We had a bit too much to drink and Corde—”

Someone—probably Corde—grumbled in the background, proclaiming the whole ordeal to be “Damned stoopid.”

Aubrey didn’t have a clue what took place, but already he was inclined to agree since alcohol was involved. “What happened?”

“Long story short?”

Matt started helping Aubrey with the food. He put mustard on the bread and above the bread he pantomimed spreading the mustard.

Pointing at the drawer with the knives, Aubrey leaned against the cabinet. “Please.”
The shorter the better.

“Corde peed on Jase’s house, and now Jase is all mad and—”

“What?”

Matt froze at the open knife drawer. He slapped a hand to his mouth. His shoulders shook, but he effectively muffled the laugh.

“He—”

“Peed on Jase’s house. Yes, I heard you. Put him on the phone.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, Aubrey shook his head, unable to decide between laughing and crying.

“Tell him we’re wolves, not dogs,” Matt whispered. His cheeks tinged bright red from holding back his mirth.

Exactly.
Aubrey groaned. “Just shoot me.”

Matt’s shoulders shook harder.

“Umm…hello?” Corde sounded like a repentant child.

“Peeing outside? What are you, six?” Aubrey asked.

The dam broke, figuratively speaking. Matt threw down the knife and ran into the guestroom, slamming the door. Loud belly laughs followed.

Aubrey bit his bottom lip to keep from joining in. “Dude. No. Just no. What were you thinking?”

“Me? Why is Jase acting like such an ass? This is ridiculous. I can’t believe he’s mad. He was as drunk as I was. It’s not like—”

“Like you marked your territory on his house?”

There was silence.

“Well?”

“Shit! I didn’t think of that.”

Tanner laughed in the background almost as loudly as Matt.

Aubrey let the smirk slide into place, fairly confident he could hold back his laughter now. “Go apologize.”

“Yes, sir.” Corde hung up.

Aubrey tossed the phone back onto the counter and picked up on making sandwiches where Matt left off.

The guestroom door cracked open, and Matt peeked out.

His joy was infectious and called to something deep inside Aubrey. “You can come out now.”

“Did he really do that?” Matt perched himself on the barstool and watched the food preparation. “Someone needs to go back to werewolf school. How is it that some wolves are in tune to their natures while others are oblivious?”

“Corde’s a made wolf. He survived an attack up in Montana a few years ago.”

“Yeah? That’s pretty rare. Remi and Sterling are the only made wolves I know.”

Aubrey nodded. Chay’s best friend, Remi, had a hard time learning to be a wolf. “I think it’s different for made wolves.”

“Don’t they have the same urges and instincts? Remi seems to and I know Sterling does.” Matt propped his elbow on the bar and rested his chin in his hand. His face scrunched in thought.

“I think so, but they can ignore it easier. Being a wolf to us is ingrained. We grew up knowing what we are, they didn’t. We accept our instincts and trust in them, they fight them.”

The contradiction of the statement didn’t escape Aubrey. Being a wolf was a proud heritage, yet here he was fighting the innate attraction to his mate.

Chapter Four

Matt woke the next morning to silence.
Weird.
There were no squabbling boys, no slamming doors or a parental unit yelling for everyone to quiet down—which he’d never understood anyway. Shouting did not beget peace—it spawned pointed fingers and a shifting of blame.

Sitting up in bed, he stretched. He could get used to this. He glanced at the door to his private bathroom. No waiting in line, no hoping the water was warm by the time he managed to get a shower, no toothpaste in the sink. With a smile on his face, he lay back down and listened to absolutely nothing.

Actually, now that he concentrated, there was a vague sound of cars. But it was distant enough he figured if he wasn’t a wolf and wasn’t straining to hear, he wouldn’t. In fact, it was so quiet that he doubted Aubrey was even up yet. Maybe he could surprise his mate with some homemade cinnamon rolls. Assuming he could find the ingredients. It didn’t matter. Surely there was
something
in the kitchen he could cook.

Throwing the covers off, he swung his legs out of bed and staggered to the adjoining bathroom. He grinned at himself in the mirror on his way to the toilet, not even caring that he was a goof. The fact that his mate couldn’t be his mate in truth didn’t seem so bad at the moment. The only thing standing in their way was Aubrey’s sexual preference. And Matt was pretty sure with time he could overcome that.

After brushing his teeth and splashing water on his face, he put on some jeans and a T-shirt. He sniffed, expecting his mate’s scent to be close. It wasn’t. Aubrey was definitely still in the apartment, but he wasn’t in the bedroom next door where he should be.

Matt ventured into the living room. He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. Aubrey’s scent was stronger now. It emanated from across the apartment. He followed his nose past the foyer.

Thump, thump, thump.

He jumped and slapped a hand to his chest. Good grief, a person would think he was a cat instead of a wolf. He shook his head at himself. Remaining still for a few moments, he let his pulse slow and waited to see if the knock at the door brought Aubrey out from wherever he was. It didn’t.

The rapping sounded again in a more rapid fashion.

Hurrying to the door, he sniffed. The unfamiliar scent held the blandness of a human male and a sharp essence of…nervousness? Should he open it?

The banging grew more erratic.

He unlocked the deadbolt and opened the door.

“Oh.” A handsome Latino man stood with his fist raised to knock again. His dark eyes widened, and the smell of his unease grew. Even though he was only about 5’ 5”, his features proclaimed him older than Matt. His suit was rumpled, like he’d slept in it, and his tie gaped at his neck. Was he someone Aubrey worked with, or a friend?

“Hello.” Matt smiled, trying to put the man at ease and figure out who he was to Aubrey.

“Hi, is Aubrey here?” Leaning to the side, the man peered past Matt into the apartment. “Tell him it’s Carson. I really need to speak to him.”

Matt was stumped. What should he do? This wasn’t his house, and he had no clue where Aubrey was at the moment. Was he expecting this guy?

Carson’s shoulders slumped and the smell of nervousness kicked up a notch.

“Can I tell him what this is in regards to?”

Carson’s smile was slow to come, but genuine. “It’s a personal matter. I would’ve called, but it’s important, and I thought Aubrey would want to talk face-to-face.”

Matt hesitated for only a second. The man called Aubrey by name and not Mr. Reynolds, so there must be some familiarity, right? Stepping back, he motioned for Carson to come in.

Carson hurried inside and the anxious aroma eased. “Thank you. I hate to interrupt, but it’s important.”

“You didn’t interrupt anything.”

Carson’s brows shot to his hairline. He looked Matt up and down. “Oh.”

“I just got up. Why don’t you have a seat on the couch, and I’ll go see if I can find Aubrey.” After watching the man seat himself on the sofa and study the room, Matt followed Aubrey’s scent to a hallway behind the kitchen. He hadn’t noticed this area yesterday. He’d seen the open bathroom door, but not the hallway beyond the bathroom. There were a couple more rooms too. Wow, the condo was huge.

The first room on the left was a weight room with a good view of downtown Atlanta. Well, that would explain the hard, toned body his mate sported because judging from his brother it didn’t run in the family.

The next door was closed. Matt hesitated, wondering if he should knock. Even though the alluring, spicy scent was behind this door, there was no sign of activity. He frowned. He didn’t want to disturb Aubrey, but he couldn’t help the sense of urgency Carson had instilled in him.

With a little scratch of his fingers, he waited half a second before he pushed the door open. Patience had never been Matt’s particular virtue, and he wanted to unravel the mystery of Carson’s presence. The room was an office. A big office, or maybe it was a library. Two of the walls were lined with bookshelves, even though they were only about half full of books. The third and fourth walls were graced with floor-to-ceiling windows covered with dark vertical blinds. A desk faced the door. A couch and coffee table were perpendicular to the desk and faced the windows.

Aubrey lay sound asleep on the couch, wearing a pair of wire-rimmed glasses. He still wore the clothes he’d been in last night, with a laptop on the table beside him and a cordless phone on his chest.

Matt hurried over and carefully lifted the phone. He set it on the table and glanced down at Aubrey. It was odd, but he managed to look older, more mature, with similar features that made his younger brother look like a teenager.

Gently he rubbed Aubrey’s shoulder. “Aubrey? Aubrey, wake up.”

Aubrey’s long lashes fluttered a few times then he squinted up at Matt. A slow grin spread across his face, and he blinked several more times before opening his eyes half-mast. “Hi.”

“Good morning.” Matt smiled back. “You look good in glasses.”

Aubrey sat up. “Thanks. Can’t read without them. Pretty strange for a wolf, but it runs in the family.” He took the glasses off, set them on the arm of the sofa and rubbed his eyes.

“Not really. Chay says that human eyes are quite a bit different from wolf eyes.” Matt shrugged.

“Yeah, he told me that too. Went into a long drawn-out vet explanation and I zoned.” Yawning, Aubrey stretched his hands over his head. His back popped, and he winced. “What time is it? I had a bout of insomnia last night and came in here to work. I must have fallen asleep.”

“Yeah. I followed your scent.”

Aubrey patted the sofa next to him.

Matt shook his head. “I hated to wake you, but there’s someone here to see you. I didn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t have let him in except he said it was important. He said his name is Carson.”

Aubrey stopped in the middle of rolling his shoulders. His face went blank, and the last remnants of sleep fell away as he met Matt’s gaze. “Carson?”

Uh-oh. “You don’t know a Carson? Did I mess up? I can make him leave. I’m sorry. I—”

“No, it’s okay.” Standing, Aubrey clutched Matt’s arm and squeezed. “You did fine, Matt. I know him. I was just surprised.” Aubrey let go of Matt and stretched some more. As he turned his face toward the open door, his nose twitched. He was a typical wolf, scenting the air. “Did he say why he was here?”

“No. Should I go ask?”

“I’ll talk to him. Come on.” They walked together to the end of the hall, and Aubrey stepped into the bathroom. “Go ahead and tell him I’ll be there in a few minutes.” He closed the door, leaving Matt to wonder if he’d done the right thing. His mate didn’t seem mad, but he didn’t seem like he wanted to speak to Carson either.
Hmmm…

Carson turned to look at Matt as he entered the big open space that consisted of the kitchen, den and dining room.

“Aubrey will be right out.”

Carson nodded. “Thank you.” His gaze traced up and down Matt again.

“You’re welcome.” Matt headed to the kitchen, trying to put Carson out of his mind for now. Should he offer Carson a drink? Would Aubrey want the man staying long enough to finish a drink? Matt decided to wait and take a cue from Aubrey when he arrived.

Matt opened the fridge. Apparently Aubrey didn’t share his brother’s legendary aversion to cooking because the refrigerator was fully stocked. Next, Matt located the pantry. It too was loaded.

He searched through cabinets for the things he needed to make homemade cinnamon rolls. If he could find some yeast…
There. Yes.
All the other ingredients were normal stock kitchen items.

The bathroom door down the hall clicked open, and within a few moments Aubrey appeared.

Despite his pep talk about not caring, Matt found himself watching the living room out of the corner of his eye. Carson stood as Aubrey came into the room.

“Carson?”

“I’m sorry for turning up like this, but I needed to talk to you. I have a problem.” Carson waited for Aubrey to come to the couch before resuming his seat.

Matt pulled the mixer out of the bottom cabinet and plugged it in, trying to pretend like he wasn’t eavesdropping.

“What’s wrong?” Aubrey asked.

Carson lowered his voice to a whisper. “Is it okay to talk in front of him?”

It didn’t take a genius to guess that “him” was Matt. Which piqued Matt’s interest. He opened the refrigerator door in search of eggs. It dawned on him that Aubrey was hesitating. If Aubrey wanted him to leave…

“Yeah. Matt’s cool. What’s going on?”

Matt let out the breath he’d been holding, knowing full well that Aubrey could hear it.

“I did something stupid.” Carson hesitated. “I slept with Boskie.”

“You did what?”

Wincing at Aubrey’s cutting tone, Matt assembled all the other ingredients he’d need for cinnamon rolls. After a few minutes Matt learned that Carson worked for Aubrey in some capacity, and Boskie was a CEO with Reynolds Inc. Carson had tried to break the affair off, and Boskie threatened to fire him. Boskie was apparently married with three children and old enough to be Carson’s father.
Ouch.
Matt didn’t envy Aubrey having to deal with the situation, but it took a load off Matt’s mind. He didn’t know what he’d expected, but the truth of the situation had him feeling more at ease. While letting the bread rise, he cleaned up his mess and pretty much stopped listening to the conversation.

He was putting the pan in the oven when Carson’s voice lowered to a whisper again. “No wonder you didn’t want a blowjob yesterday. I wouldn’t have either if I’d had him waiting at home for me.”

A knot formed in Matt’s stomach, knocking the breath out of him. Aubrey was gay?

Matt met his mate’s startled gaze over the kitchen counter as the pan clattered to the floor.

“Matt?” Aubrey stood, ignoring Carson. Damn it. He should’ve told Matt the truth. He’d hoped Carson wouldn’t give anything away. But Carson obviously put two and two together. Would other people recognize his and Matt’s bond? Jesus, he couldn’t even go there right now. He had to fix things with Matt. Had he really thought it would hurt Matt less if he let Matt believe he was straight?

“Sorry.” Matt’s voice cracked as he turned away. He squatted to pick up the contents from the tray he’d dropped and started rambling. “It slipped out of my hand. Only a few fell on the floor. I’ll cook the rest. Would you two like something to drink? I found oranges. I can make orange juice, or there’s tea. There’s water and Cokes too. Or I can just…” Matt ducked his head much lower than necessary to see the mess on the floor.

Shit, shit, shit.
Aubrey darted around the couch and the kitchen counter. He caught Matt’s hand as he reached for the last dropped cinnamon roll. “Matt?”

Matt looked up, eyes like a deer in headlights. He wore the exact expression he’d had upon discovering Aubrey was his mate, only this time the scent coming off him wasn’t anxiety. It was despair.

Aubrey hated himself at that moment. Nothing had changed, yet everything had. The reasons they couldn’t be together still existed, but he had to make things right. He’d have to find a way he and Matt could continue to be around one another. Matt made him happy, even in the short time he’d been here. Before he’d discovered their connection Aubrey anticipated Matt’s texts…a little too eagerly. He’d gotten so wrapped up in waiting for responses from Matt he’d fallen behind on some of his work. He hadn’t even been able to find himself a new executive assistant after his last one quit the week before because he’d been happily preparing for Matt’s arrival.

“I’m sorry,” Matt whispered as he stood. “I don’t expect— You don’t have to—” His gaze dropped to the floor again, and he turned his back on Aubrey. He put the pan in the oven and went to the pantry.

The hollow ache in his chest strangled Aubrey. He was already used to seeing Matt’s exuberance. After standing, Aubrey did the only thing he could think of at the moment. He went after his mate.

Matt tossed the ruined rolls in the trash.

Aubrey caught his shoulder and made Matt face him. He lifted Matt’s chin, forcing eye contact. “The problem is me, not you. Never forget that. Never.” He slanted his mouth over Matt’s, taking the kiss that he’d wanted to take last night.