With Every Breath (19 page)

“God you're an asshole,” she hissed out between clenched teeth.

And she almost looked like his Eliza. So much so that he felt an unexpected jolt of relief and something else altogether.

Something warm. Something that felt good when he had felt nothing but fucked-up shit for the last week. It made what he had to do next suck. Because they'd already fucked away enough time since he'd tagged her at the shithole house she'd been staying in that was so dilapidated and indefensible that even her arsenal wasn't going to help if any heavy shit went down, and he already knew whatever the fuck Eliza was tangled up in, it was
heavy
.

And it was obvious that she sensed the change in his mood and intention, because she paled and all her anger fled, leaving only a stark hollowness that made his already shitty mood even worse.

He dismissed his men with a single motion and when they left to resume their posts, he turned back to the table to release Eliza. Her cuffed hand was curled so tightly around the leg of the table that the tips of her fingers were white. And when he gently unlocked the clasp and her hand fell away, he caught it, felt it tremble in his grasp and he tightened his hand around hers.

Before he even said anything, she closed her eyes and it made the shadows underneath them more pronounced, which in turn made her look even more vulnerable and he hated it all.

“Eliza—”

He was interrupted by his cell phone ringing and he glanced down, pulling it upward from his pocket just enough to see who the incoming call was from.

Fuck. And hell no. Dane was calling. After Wade had told him to step back and that this was his show. Dane had
made
it his show by making the call to Wade and the rules weren't changing now. He hit the button to decline the call, sending it to voicemail and then shoved it back in his pocket. Then his hold on Eliza's hand that had loosened slightly when he'd been distracted by the call tightened again and he fixed her with the full force of his gaze.

“Eliza, it's time we talked,” he said in a tone that said he meant business.

This time he didn't flinch at the fear or the shadows that immediately leapt in her eyes. He was prepared for them. It didn't make it any easier to witness, though.

His phone went off again, this time indicating a text.

“You have got to be shitting me,” he growled.

Keeping firm hold on her hand, noticing how small it felt in his much larger one, he reached for his phone again, knowing he couldn't afford to ignore any call or text. Or at least ascertain whether he needed to respond.

He yanked the phone up and when he read the text, his blood chilled.

“You have
got
to be shitting me,” he repeated, his pulse accelerating.

Situation critical. Check in ASAP.

That was it. Nothing more, which meant it was detailed and it wasn't good.

With a sigh, he gave Eliza's hand a squeeze and guided it back into the cuff, once more securing her wrist to the table.

“I have to make a call, baby,” he said softly, giving her a gentle look. “When I get back, we talk. Finish eating. I'll have one of my men come in. There's dessert too.”

He caressed the cuffed hand, soothing and ensuring it wasn't causing her any discomfort.

“This won't take long. Then you get me
and
my undivided attention.”

Her startled look told him she hadn't missed the inference in his statement. That she wasn't getting his attention. She was getting him.
And
his undivided attention, which meant two separate things entirely.

TWELVE

“I
thought I made it clear that I call you. You do not call me,” Wade said, his voice enough to lower the outside temperature by another twenty degrees and it was already cold as fuck and drizzling.

He'd stepped out of the house, not wanting to chance Eliza overhearing what was likely to be a very unpleasant conversation with her precious team leader. Or partner. Whatever the fuck they were to one another.

“Tell me you have Eliza,” Dane said curtly. “Don't fuck with me, Wade. Tell me you have her.”

Wade blinked at the chilling fear in the other man's voice. The first time he'd called he'd sounded merely worried. What the hell had happened to upgrade the status to the terror in Dane's tone? Dane sounded as though he was precariously close to losing his shit. Well, join the crowd and get in line because that made two of them.

“Goddamn it, Sterling, there are things you don't know,” Dane snarled. “Now is not the time to have a fucking pissing match. Now tell me if Eliza is with you.”

“Yes. Currently she's handcuffed to the table I just made her sit down at and eat the first meal she's likely had in days, if not weeks.”

“Thank God,” Dane whispered and Wade could practically see the man sagging in relief.

“She's safe. She's covered. Now if that's all you wanted?”

“No the fuck it isn't,” Dane exploded. “Fuck. Fuck! We've got a huge fucking problem.”

Dane went silent as though valiantly trying to pull himself together and Wade frowned at the frenzied, out of control, completely uncharacteristic outburst from DSS's front man. His frown turned to a vicious scowl because there was a hell of a lot he didn't like about this impromptu telephone chat.

Dane was clearly unhinged, worried out of his mind, but it was the last that put Wade on full alert.
We've got a huge fucking problem.
Cold, stark fear vibrated through every single nerve ending until he was battling the very thing Dane Elliot was.

“Since you don't seem inclined to share anything at the moment, perhaps you can start with the cryptic text you sent saying situation critical,” Wade snapped. “I need to know what I'm dealing with here because Eliza isn't exactly being cooperative, so if you have intel, particularly information that keeps her alive, then you need to start fucking talking and do it fast. Eliza's reserves are gone, have been gone for a long time, not that you or anyone else noticed,” he said in a voice full of derision. “She's currently handcuffed to a table because it was the only way I could force her to eat. She's a fucking mess, Dane. Imagine the worst-case scenario of Eliza falling apart and shattering into a million pieces and then multiply that by a hundred and then you'll start getting close to her current state of mind. Now, I have to have a serious come-to-Jesus meeting with her so I know what the hell has her so fucking afraid when she's never had the goddamn sense to be afraid of anything.”

He heard Dane's sudden, vicious intake of air and when he spoke, his words shook and he suddenly sounded a hundred years old.

“She's that scared?” Dane whispered. “You said she fell apart?”

“You have
no
idea,” Wade said coldly. “Now start talking.”

“Jesus, she's on some kind of goddamn suicide mission,” Dane choked out.

And then he outlined in harsh, broken sentences everything in Eliza's letter. Only, Wade wouldn't allow him to paraphrase any of Eliza's words. This was too important. He couldn't take in Dane's biased account so he made Dane read the letter verbatim.

He closed his eyes and swore viciously, sparing none of his anger, fear or torment. When he directed Dane once more, there was no deference in his voice. No acknowledgment that Dane and Eliza's other coworkers had any right to be afraid, to intervene or that they were in any way in control of the situation. Wade was calling the shots.

“You sit on every one of your men, Elliot,” Wade ground out. “You do not send off a bunch of half-cocked, pissed off operatives into this situation. Not when Eliza's life is at stake.”

“She's ours,” Dane said viciously. “Do you honestly believe we're going to sit here and do nothing?”

“She's
mine
,” Wade said in a fierce, pissed off tone. “You need to get that and you need to let it sink in. Right the fuck now.”

“If anything happens to Lizzie, there will be no safe place for you to hide. I'll devote the rest of my life to hunting you down and taking you apart with my bare hands.”

“Nothing is going to happen to Eliza. Second, you're welcome to try and good luck with that.” Wade paused a moment and then quietly added, “If something ever happens to her, it will be pointless for you to hunt me down because I'd take care of the matter myself.”

After a long moment, and just as quietly, Dane responded, “So it's like that.”

“It's exactly like that,” Wade said harshly.

He shook off the simmering emotion to clear his head of unwanted images of something terrible happening to the woman he had handcuffed inside the house.

“You sit on your men and you goddamn sit on yourself for at least twenty-four hours,” Wade said forcefully. “Give me time to get the story from Eliza and to make my play. After those twenty-four hours, you get your team together, make damn sure they know what's at stake and make very certain they have their heads on straight and then you get your asses to Calvary, Oregon, which is where I found her, and start discreetly poking around and see what you can dig up. In the meantime, I'm going to plant a few seeds. Make it clear that Eliza was there and that she left with me and I'm not going to make it hard for me to be found.”

“Jesus,” Dane muttered. “You're using her as fucking bait?”

“No, the fuck I'm not!” Wade bellowed. “I'm making myself the goddamn bait. She's made it clear to you and to me that she isn't worried about herself. She's worried about anyone she's associated with. Whatever the fuck is going on with her, she knows enough about the threat to know that she won't be the target. Which is why she's on this goddamn suicide mission. She's sacrificing herself for everyone who matters to her. Don't you think if she were the target, that if she feared for herself, that she would have the sense to confide that in you so her team could have her back? Come on, Elliot. You've worked with her. You call her your friend. She's not stupid. When has she ever been stupid? She's not afraid for herself. She's fucking terrified that everyone she loves is going to die. I'm setting myself up to be an easy target and to draw this son of a bitch to me. And Eliza will not ever have the opportunity to take anything for me.”

“I get it,” Dane said sharply. “I don't like it, but I get it. We'll check in when we have any intel. I'd appreciate it if you did the same.”

“When I know something, I'll clue you in.”

With that, Wade ended the call and stood there several long seconds, composing himself for the most difficult hurdle yet. Confronting Eliza. Finding out what godawful demons she's lived with for far too long. And why she's never shared them with anyone.

THIRTEEN

QUIETLY
, Wade returned to the table where he'd left Eliza cuffed, to find her staring seemingly a long ways away, her gaze fixed on some distant point. At first, she didn't register his presence, and when she did and brought her gaze level with his, the sadness in her usually vibrant, teasing eyes clutched at his heart.

He thought back to the letter Dane had read to him. Words penned by Eliza. This wasn't a woman on a quest for absolution. She'd already condemned herself and thought herself beyond redemption for whatever sins she carried. Nor was this woman out for revenge. She wasn't angry enough. Not cold enough to be plotting revenge.

He'd seen her in revenge mode, when she'd been so adamant about going after the bastards who'd tortured her and made Ramie, Ari and Gracie's lives hell and taking them down. This was a woman grieving for people she'd already resigned herself to losing, not because they'd die, but because she would.

Which meant she had no illusions about surviving either her attempt to bring justice against someone who'd escaped it or the punishment for killing a man.

Dane coining this a suicide mission was chillingly accurate.

Doing his best not to succumb to the ice invading his veins, making his blood sluggish and slowing his reaction time down, he went to her and bent to one knee so he could unfasten the cuff from her wrist. When she would have pulled her hand away from him, he caught hold of her wrist, turning it so he could inspect her flesh.

Cursing when he saw the faint red marks, he pressed a gentle kiss to the damage he'd done.

“I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to hurt you.”

She yanked back her hand as if he'd scalded her, clutching her wrist to her chest, covering it with her other hand in a protective measure. Shock rounded her eyes as she stared at him, clearly bewildered by the tender gesture.

“Let's go where we have more privacy,” he said, helping her to her feet.

He propelled her toward one of the bedrooms, one that had no windows to the outside and he secured the lock behind them after flipping on the lights. She glanced wildly around as if assessing her escape options and then her shoulders sagged when she realized she had none.

“It's time you told me what's going on, Eliza. I want the whole story. Everything.”

She whirled away from him, but not before he saw the panic blazing in her eyes. She put as much space between them as possible, but the room was small and his size overwhelmed it—and her.

He crossed his arms and folded them over his chest, leaning back against the locked door as if to further drive home the point that she couldn't escape him. Not again. Not ever.

Her teeth dug into her bottom lip and it was all he could do not to go to her and thumb away her lip before she broke the skin.

“Eliza?” he prompted, her continued silence only spreading the apprehensiveness already clinging to him like a stubborn vine.

She shuddered violently and just as quickly shut down, shutting him out. She closed her eyes and turned her back, choosing instead to fix her gaze toward the blank wall she now faced.