With His Love (For His Pleasure, Book 16) (15 page)

She slid into the booth opposite him and he smiled, sipping what looked like rum and Coke.

“Hiya,” he said. “I would’ve stood up and hugged you, but since you nearly ran over me trying to get away the last time we saw each other, I thought maybe I should just stay put.”

Scarlett laughed with some embarrassment. “I’m sorry about that. I was just really caught off guard. I didn’t have time to process any of it and I freaked out.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

The waitress came over and Scarlett ordered a beer.

Her dad sipped his drink and ran his finger over the puddle left from the bottom of the glass.

“So, I guess you might be wondering why I called you out of nowhere,” she began.

“Not really.”

“You’re not curious why I called you?”

“Well, I’m your father. I figured that’s good enough reason. You wanted to talk to your dad.”

She felt a knot of frustration in her belly. “Yeah…well…you’re sort of just my dad in name. You weren’t actually a father to me.”

He hefted the glass in his hand. “I still remember holding you when you were first born—you know, you weren’t much bigger than this.”

“I’m pretty sure I weighed more than a glass of rum and Coke.”

“You were tiny. And you were fierce, too. When you cried, it woke the neighbors!” He laughed.

The waitress came back with Scarlett’s beer.

She greedily drank some down, trying to get enough of a buzz to deal with the knots of frustration that were proliferating in her stomach. “Good story, Dad. But moving on…”

“You always had your own mind, Scarlett. You were stubborn then and I bet you still are.”

“So why did you come looking for me? Why now?”

He shrugged slightly. “I never stopped thinking about you, wondering about you.

Never.”

“You didn’t have to just wonder. You could’ve called me.”

“It wasn’t my place. You know, your mother didn’t want me around you, Scarlett. She drove me out, and once I was out, I knew you’d be better off without me in the picture.”

Her hand gripped the bottle tightly. “Why would you let her drive you off? Why did you leave me with her? You must have known what kind of person she was.”

“Well, she was difficult, headstrong, it’s true. Like you, I suppose.”

“You don’t know me. And she was a lot more than just
headstrong
.”

“Your mother wasn’t a bad person, Scarlett.”

“Aren’t you even curious what happened to me?”

He took a sip of his drink. “Sure I am.”

She glared at him. “When Mom remarried, I became an outcast. My stepdad and her treated me worse than dirt. Eventually, they kicked me out of the house entirely and I had to look after myself. It’s been a hard life, Dad. A really, really hard life.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“You say it like you had nothing to do with it.”

“I’m not sure I did.” He paused. “I tried my best. I was young, and I made a lot of mistakes. I thought you’d be better off without me in the picture, but now you’re telling me that wasn’t the case.”

She shook her head and blinked back tears. “I never understood why you left the way you did. And I thought that maybe if we spoke, you could help me…you could explain and I might be able to let go of this tremendous anger I’ve carried around with me for so long.”

“I want to show you something,” he said. “Can I…can I show you some pictures on my phone?”

“Sure.” She sighed, knowing that this was going absolutely nowhere.

He came around to her side of the booth and showed her his phone.

Scarlett could smell his leather jacket, and the scent of Old Spice or something—

it was very familiar to her. It was almost as though she could remember it from when she was an infant.

“I have a bunch of pictures on this thing. You have a sister, you know.” He glanced at her, trying to gauge her interest. “You’re only six years older than her. She’s actually in school at New York University.”

Soon, he was showing Scarlett pictures of her half-sister, Sandy. “I insisted we gave her an S name, he said, eyeing Scarlett. I wanted it to remind me, you know?”

Scarlett nodded, not taking her eyes off the pictures. Sandy was beautiful, with dark features but a rounder face than Scarlett possessed. She also seemed a little sunnier, smiling more, happy to be photographed. “Is that your wife?” Scarlett asked, of the woman who seemed to accompany them in many pictures.

“Was my wife. We divorced about ten years back.” He grimaced. “I suppose I haven’t been lucky in love, after all.” He put his phone away and moved back across the table.

“Sandy’s gorgeous,” she said, meaning it. “And she looks happy.”

“I’d like to think so. Not sure how much I had to do with it, though. Her mother doesn’t have very many nice things to say about me, and Sandy isn’t always crazy about me either. Maybe you two could trade stories about how big a screw up your old man is.” He chuckled, and his whole face seemed to light up.

Scarlett couldn’t help but return the smile. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe it was seeing her half-sister, but she felt less angry now.

“I’d like to meet her sometime.”

“She wants to meet you too.” He sipped his drink, his hands moving as he talked.

He was more animated suddenly. “The fact is, Sandy really wanted to meet you. She always wanted a sister, and for a long time I never told her you existed. I didn’t tell my wife because I thought she’d be angry, and then I just started to feel ashamed of never having said it.”

Scarlett nodded, trying to look at it from his point of view. It was difficult, though. “When did you tell her?”

“Just a few months back. She found a wedding announcement online, something that was printed in the paper years ago. It somehow ended up on Ebay, the picture and everything with mine and your mom’s names on it.” He shook his head. “Funny how things work.”

“Especially when you consider your occupation. Shouldn’t you have had that scrubbed from the Internet?”

He laughed heartily. “What can I tell you? I’m an eternal optimist, and an eternal screw up, Scarlett.”

“Well, pass along a message from me,” Scarlett told him. “Tell her that if she wants, I’ll introduce her to the actor Dale Nolan. She’ll like that, I bet.”

His eyes widened. “You could do that?”

Scarlett just laughed as she polished off her beer. “I can do a lot of things, Dad.

I’m a pretty cool person.”

***

Scarlett was pensive on the cab ride back to her apartment.

It was funny how the meeting with her father had gone nothing like what she’d imagined. She’d been hoping for answers and apologies, when in reality he was just a simple man who didn’t seem to realize what he’d done or even why he’d done it.

And she also realized that nothing he could have said would ever change what had happened to her. No apology would ever take away the pain she’d experienced, the loneliness, the guilt, nothing would ever make those years roll back.

What was done was done, and there would be no changing it.

But just being able to sit across from him and talk —it had done something to her that she couldn’t quite comprehend. It was as though the past hadn’t been changed, but her present had suddenly come into solid existence.

She really
was
a pretty cool person. Somehow, despite everything she’d been through—or maybe because of it—Scarlett was now somebody worth getting to know.

And she liked that about herself.

The cab slowed to a stop at her building and she paid. As she got out, she saw a shadowy figure standing near her doorway and almost screamed.

It was Terrence’s son, coming to kill her.

Except it wasn’t. As the figure stepped into the light from the streetlamp, she saw that it was actually Bryson.

“Where were you?” he said accusingly.

“None of your business.” Her heart was already hammering away inside her chest.

“I think it is my business. We had plans, Scarlett, and you just cancelled on me with no explanation.”

“I don’t owe you an explanation, Bryson. Now leave me alone.” She tried to walk past him, and he grabbed her arm.

“Scarlett—”

“Do not touch me.” She yanked her arm away. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“I’m your boss, that’s who, and I demand an explanation.”

Scarlett couldn’t help but laugh at that. It was absurd, and even Bryson knew it.

She could see his cheeks reddening, even in the semi-darkness.

“I went out to meet my father, okay? Does that put your mind at ease now?”

He crossed his arms and looked down at the street. “I’m sorry, I know it’s none of my business. I was just really disappointed that you cancelled on me. I’ve been wanting to see you and talk to you.”

She hated that he was doing this to her right now. Because the truth was that she wanted him, just as badly as she ever had. But he’d ruined it for both of them with his constant back-and-forth, indecisive ways. She couldn’t trust him and she refused to be at the mercy of his whims.

“Bryson, I’m sorry too.” She licked her lips, swallowed. “It was really nice, what we had. It was nice while it lasted.”

He looked up at her, his eyes pained, as if she’d just stabbed him. “But I can explain,” he told her. “You see, when Eliza got sick, I blamed myself. I felt like it was my fault—that I should have been there for her. I thought it would all be easier if I kept things simple and compartmentalized and didn’t let my emotions get in the way again.”

Scarlett touched his arm lightly. “Bryson, I’m just not interested in your excuses anymore.”

His gaze faltered. “Yeah, I can see that.”

“You know, the simple fact of the matter is that when things got tough, you disappeared. And now that everyone loves your movie and you’re on top of the world, you want me back again. But I deserve better than that. I know that now.”

“You deserve everything,” he said, his voice choked.

“Thanks for saying that.”

She walked to the door and let herself in. When she turned around for a brief moment, she saw he was still watching her. If he’d called after her, she might have been too weak to resist. She might have let him in, and he would have been too close to resist.

But he didn’t call out, or at least, she didn’t hear him.

And then she was out of sight and he was out of reach.

***

Scarlett got a call the next morning from Nicole.

Happily, she answered it as she was walking to the train station.

“Hey, Nicole!”

“Listen, I know this is crazy last minute, but the bridal shower for Kallie has been moved up to this Thursday night.”

“What?” Scarlett said. “That really is last minute. You weren’t kidding.”

“I know. Apparently, Kallie and Hunter have decided to just go ahead and get married this weekend.”

“Wow. How come?”

“Nobody knows. At least, I don’t know. I haven’t been in touch directly with Kallie, but Hunter and Red spoke and Red just said that they decided they want to be married and were sick of waiting and dealing with the headaches around planning it.”

“So we’re going to do the shower on Thursday night at your place now?”

“Yes. Since it’s so sudden, it’s not going to be as big or fancy as originally planned. It’s just going to be a few of the girls: you, me, Danielle, Lydia, Kallie and Kallie’s mother.”

“Did you already tell Lydia about it?”

“Yes. She seemed very excited—almost too excited, in a strange way.”

“Well, she is a bit strange.”

“Do you know Lydia well?”

“Ummm…not really. But I suppose she should be there.”

Nicole seemed confused by where Scarlett was going with the Lydia portion of the conversation, so she just moved on. “Anyway, I’m really glad you can still make it, Scarlett. I’m hoping Kallie will be happy that I threw this for her and see how much I care about her.”

“I think she’ll definitely see that. It’s a really sweet idea. Should I bring anything?”

“It’s going to be catered, so all you need to bring is yourself and a gift.”

“Perfect!” Scarlett was smiling as she walked to the train. She was almost there now. “Does Hunter know about the shower or is he in the dark too?”

“Oh, he knows. In fact, he and Red and Kane are kind of planning a guys’ night out thing for Thursday as well. Men, they always have to try and compete with us, am I right?” Nicole laughed.

Scarlett felt a pang. If things had gone differently, Bryson might have been a part of that group of men, all going out together while their wives gathered to celebrate the coming nuptials.

They said their goodbyes and got off, and Scarlett’s smile had faded.

She suddenly pictured Bryson standing outside the door of her apartment the previous night—an image so vivid that it was almost as though she’d photographed it.

She saw him standing there, waiting for her to turn around. And in her mind, she willed herself to do it—just turn around and open the door. Let him in. Swallow her pride and let Bryson in, let him hold her close just one more time.

It felt so real, so real she could almost smell him and taste his skin as she imagined herself kissing his cheek softly.

And then, it was gone and so was he.

Scarlett was just a girl waiting for a train in the city, and nobody was coming to save her.

***

The next few days only seemed normal.

In reality, they were anything but normal. Scarlett and Bryson were acting like professionals, consulting with one another like always, talking about the movie, and working together to do the job right.

But underneath it all, there was tension between them. Scarlett could feel it under the surface, and it was awful—like a constant itch that couldn’t be scratched.

There was an unspoken agreement that they would not talk about anything personal, and so they didn’t. But it was there—it was always there, and it was making working together painful.

Wednesday afternoon, while they were working on some script revisions over lunch, Bryson surprised her when he finally broke the agreement.

“Hunter invited me out tomorrow night,” he said.