With or Without You (27 page)

Liv looked at Jamie and Felix for a second, before running towards them and scooping Felix up in her arms. ‘Oh my God!’ she cried, burying her face in his neck. ‘I was so, so
scared! Don’t ever do that to me again!’

Jamie watched them awkwardly, suddenly realising that he should have gone back to the hotel in the car. Now he was stuck up here with no way of getting back.

As if reading his mind, Liv looked up at him. ‘Thank you so much. I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Let me get you a drink or something. Then we can call a cab to take you back.
Come in,’ she added, already heading through the giant doorway into the hall.

Jamie followed, aware that he could smell alcohol fumes on Liv and that she was walking unsteadily, although he thought charitably that maybe that was down to her carrying Felix. He gazed around
him as he walked, distracted by the size and scale of the house. It was vast, yet tasteful and pristine. No broken shelves or endless pairs of shoes, trainers and flip-flops kicked off in this
hallway. It was stunning. But it wasn’t homely.

Liv put Felix down in a large squashy armchair and kissed the top of his head. The boy curled up and put his thumb into his mouth, his eyelids already drooping shut. Liv watched him for a
minute, then sighed deeply and shook her head before turning towards Jamie.

‘I have never been more frightened in my life,’ she said, her huge violet eyes brimming dangerously. ‘Thank you so much for bringing him home safely.’ She stopped
speaking abruptly and put the palm of her hand against her chest, as if to steady her racing heart.

‘I was happy to help,’ Jamie noticed that she was swaying quite alarmingly. Probably down to a mixture of alcohol and shock, he decided.

‘So,’ she said, putting her hands on her hips and flushing with embarrassment. ‘Listen, I’m really sorry, but I didn’t get your name . . .’

‘Jamie.’

‘Jamie,’ she nodded to herself, still looking embarrassed. ‘Well, Jamie, I’m sorry to have put you in that position . . .’

‘It’s fine,’ he said, waving his hand dismissively. ‘Would you mind calling me a cab?’ He was suddenly anxious to get away. ‘I should have gone back in the
house car. I’m an idiot!’

‘Of course!’ Liv picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts list before pressing a number.

‘It’ll be about twenty minutes,’ she said apologetically, after she hung up. ‘Let me get you a drink while you wait. Would you like a glass of wine?’

‘Um, sure,’ Jamie followed Liv into the open-plan kitchen and taking a seat at the island in the middle, where there were two empty wine bottles and another that was half empty. He
wasn’t sure she needed any more booze.

She took a glass out of a cupboard and sloshed some wine into it, before refilling her own and perching opposite him. ‘So, you’re Martha’s husband,’ she said, her eyes
glittering slightly.

Jamie took a sip of wine, enjoying the cold, dry sensation as it hit his throat. ‘Yup,’ he said, thinking how surreal it was to be sitting opposite a woman he had watched on the big
screen at the cinema, sharing a drink with her. He wondered how much Liv knew about the situation.

‘You’ve been a naughty boy, I gather,’ she added, answering his unasked question.

Jamie took another gulp of wine and met her eye. ‘I’m not proud of that.’ He was annoyed that this stranger knew his intimate business.

Liv looked away, as if she sensed that she had said something she shouldn’t.

‘I love my wife,’ Jamie added, not sure why he felt the need to justify himself.

Liv shook her head, causing her golden hair to pool around her shoulders. ‘Don’t worry, I’m not in a position to judge,’ she slurred. She had drunk her whole glass of
wine in just a couple of minutes. ‘I did exactly the same as you.’

Jamie could feel his hackles rising. ‘No, it wasn’t the same. I felt nothing for . . . for her. There’s no way I would have left Martha for her.’

‘Some might say that’s worse,’ Liv shot back. ‘I fell in love with Danny. What’s your excuse if you felt nothing for the other woman?’

Jamie closed his eyes and let his shoulders drop. ‘I don’t have an excuse,’ he said, in a voice that was almost a whisper. ‘There is no excuse for what I did.’ He
opened his eyes to find Liv watching him in silence. ‘I love my wife,’ he repeated.

Liv blinked slowly. ‘I think you might have some competition,’ she said, and Jamie wondered if he detected a note of pique.

‘They’re just friends,’ he shrugged.

She pursed her lips and Jamie felt a spike of anger that she seemed to know more than him about his own marital situation. ‘Why are you looking at me like that? Do you know something I
don’t?’

She sighed. ‘I know that I haven’t seen Charlie this way with anyone. Since me. Maybe not even with me.’

A shiver of fear passed over Jamie. ‘Well I’m not prepared to let her go so easily,’ he said, feeling suddenly defiant.

Liv bit her lip and stared into the distance with a forlorn expression on her face. ‘She’s a lucky woman, having two men fighting over her.’

Jamie took another swig of wine and realised that he had almost demolished the whole glass too.

Liv slid off her stool and moved unsteadily to the fridge, where she retrieved a fresh bottle of wine and deftly twisted the lid open.

‘No, I’m fine . . .’ Jamie started to say as Liv began to pour it into both their glasses, but he had quickly realised that where Liv and booze were concerned, resistance was
futile.

‘She’s a very beautiful woman, your wife,’ Liv said, and again Jamie wondered if he detected a note of bitterness in her voice. Liv herself was stunning, with large lilac-blue
eyes, long golden hair and a very sexy, full mouth, but she wasn’t as unusual or as exotic-looking as Martha. He also thought that maybe her flawless, unlined complexion wasn’t entirely
natural and that her pout had had a bit of assistance.

‘Yes, she’s beautiful,’ he agreed. ‘I’m a very lucky man.’

She nodded. ‘I really hope you guys can work it out. It’s obvious how much you love her but it’s the guilt that’s the real killer. It never leaves you.’

Jamie suddenly wanted to cry. He had such a mountain to climb that it seemed impossible. Hopeless.

Liv reached across and took his hand, causing him to look up in surprise. ‘I think you’ll make it,’ she said, with a smile so sad that it only made Jamie feel worse.

He drained his glass and stood up. ‘My cab will be here any minute. I’d better go out and wait for it.’

Liv’s eyes widened in alarm. ‘Listen, Jamie,’ she said, as her voice dropped to a whisper. ‘You won’t . . . mention any of this to Charlie, will you?’

Jamie looked down at her pleading expression and the desperation in her eyes. ‘I think Charlie Simmons is the last person I’d be mentioning anything to.’

‘Thank you so much!’ she said, following him down the hallway.

He opened the front door and stepped out. ‘But listen,’ he turned around to face her. ‘You need to sort yourself out, you know that, don’t you? Getting so drunk that you
pass out when you’re looking after a small child is no good.’

Liv physically shrank back at his words and Jamie immediately felt sorry for her. She seemed so lost and not much more than a child herself. ‘I know.’ She bit her lip and looked
contrite. She pulled her cardigan more tightly around herself and stared at her bare feet. ‘It won’t happen again.’

‘I promise not to mention anything to Charlie if you promise to get some help.’

Liv frowned. ‘Help?’

‘I think you know what sort of help I mean.’

‘I’m not that bad!’ she said, trying to shrug and laugh at the same time.

‘You’re not that good, either,’ Jamie said. ‘Promise you’ll get help?’

Liv’s eyes darted from side to side as she tried to weigh up her options. Then, realising she didn’t have much choice, she nodded. ‘I promise.’

‘Good,’ Jamie said. ‘I can hear a car,’ he added, indicating towards the road beyond the gates. ‘That must be my cab.’

‘Good,’ Jamie said. ‘I can hear a car,’ he added, indicating towards the road beyond the gates. ‘That must be my cab.’

Just as he finished speaking, the gates swished open and both Liv and Jamie looked up in surprise as Charlie’s Range Rover pulled in.

‘Oh shit,’ muttered Liv.

‘Oh shit,’ echoed Jamie.

Charlie got out of the car and walked towards them, frowning. ‘What the hell are you doing here?’ He eyed Jamie coldly.

‘Charlie!’ Liv yelped. ‘I asked him to come. I, uh, I thought I heard an intruder and you weren’t answering your phone.’

Charlie immediately felt for his phone and pulled it out of the inside pocket of his jacket. ‘Ah,’ he said, as he peered at the screen, which Jamie knew would show dozens of missed
calls from Liv. ‘Sorry, we were in a restaurant and they don’t like you using mobiles . . .’

Liv waved away his protestations. ‘It’s fine!’ She glanced for a split second at Jamie, as if to confirm that he would back up her story. ‘Like I said, Jamie came and had
a good look around. If there was anyone here, they’ve gone now.’

Charlie’s eyes narrowed and for a moment Jamie thought he had clocked that she was lying, but eventually he smiled stiffly. ‘Well, thanks for that. But I’m home now, so you can
go.’

‘I will,’ Jamie said, enjoying Charlie’s discomfort. He was always so composed and full of himself, with the sort of confidence that only fame and money can bring. Jamie
enjoyed seeing him out of his comfort zone for once. ‘Just as soon as my cab gets here.’

Charlie tutted and rubbed his forehead. ‘I’ll run you back. Liv, cancel the cab.’ As he spoke, he turned back towards his car and climbed in without waiting for Jamie to
answer.

Jamie looked at Liv but she nodded towards the car. ‘Take the lift. The cab could be ages anyway.’

‘OK,’ Jamie agreed, still reluctant to be alone in a car with his arch rival. ‘Well, goodbye then . . .’

Liv smiled and reached up to kiss him on the cheek. ‘Thank you,’ she whispered.

Jamie smiled back and turned towards the car, which Charlie was revving impatiently. He climbed into the passenger seat and was just about to do up his seatbelt when the car shot backwards,
throwing him forward violently.

‘Oh, sorry.’ Charlie’s voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Jamie surreptitiously rubbed his neck and clicked his seatbelt into place. Neither of them spoke for several minutes as Charlie manoeuvred the car around the twisting, dark roads.

‘So, do you want to tell me what you were really doing there?’ Charlie said finally, glancing slyly towards Jamie.

Jamie’s skin prickled with indignation. Charlie was acting as if he had been up to no good, when little did Charlie know it but Jamie had just done him the biggest favour of his life.
‘Do you want to tell me what you were doing with my wife?’ he shot back.

In the dim light of the car, he saw Charlie’s Adam’s apple rise and fall as he swallowed. ‘We were having a meal. That’s all.’

‘Glad to hear it,’ Jamie said. ‘Because if you were doing anything else I—’

‘If we were doing anything else it would damn well serve you right!’ Charlie spat, interrupting Jamie.

Jamie had no answer because Charlie was right. ‘Look,’ he said, trying to sound more conciliatory. ‘I love Martha . . .’

Charlie opened his mouth with a retort but Jamie put his hand up before he could speak. ‘I know what you’re going to say. I fucked up. But I won’t make the same mistake again.
I want to make it up to her – and to our kids.’ He glanced sideways at Charlie to see if he had picked up on his mention of the children and was irritated to see a slight smirk of
satisfaction on his face. ‘So I guess what I’m saying is . . . leave her alone.’

Charlie didn’t answer for a long time, and Jamie thought he might be going to stay silent for the rest of the journey. But as they stopped at the intersection just up from the hotel, he
finally spoke. ‘I’ll leave her alone for now. We had already decided that that would be best and anyway, I’m going to be spending a lot of time here over the next few months. But
I swear to God, if you let her down again, all bets are off and, next time, I promise you, she’ll choose me.’

Charlie pulled onto the paved driveway of the hotel and stopped the car slightly away from the arched entrance, so that the bell-hops didn’t immediately open the door. Jamie stared ahead
at the expensive waltz being danced by the succession of top-of-the-range cars coming and going, fighting a desperate urge to punch Charlie hard in his handsome face.

‘Well, you don’t need to worry,’ he said at last, opening the car door. ‘There won’t be a next time.’

Charlie watched Jamie’s retreating back as he made his way towards the entrance of the hotel. Here he was with the world at his feet and yet he had never felt such jealousy and loathing as
he did now for this house-husband from the suburbs. Yes, Charlie could have anything and everything his heart desired, but this guy had the one thing Charlie couldn’t have. He had Martha.

Once they had taken off, Martha just wanted to get home. She leaned her forehead against the window as the plane climbed through the Californian sky and looked down on the
sprawling white urban landscape, glinting in the incessant sun. She reached out and touched the window with her index finger, saying a mental goodbye to Charlie and the place that had been her
sanctuary for the past week.

Beside her, Jamie picked up her other hand and squeezed it. Instinctively, she pulled it away, but immediately she reached out and allowed him to take it again, letting their entwined hands
settle on the armrest between them. Jamie had a lot of work to do to convince her that their marriage was worth saving.

She looked away from the window and up at Jamie, who was watching her nervously. ‘What are you thinking?’ he asked, his bright blue eyes creasing as if he already knew the
answer.

‘Nothing really,’ she replied, running her thumb over the back of his hand. She had always loved his hands, with their long, tanned fingers and light smattering of pale golden hair.
Now she could only think about what those hands had touched and they made her shudder with renewed revulsion. ‘I was thinking how good it will be to see the kids again,’ she said,
folding her hands together in her lap while trying not to make it seem like a hostile gesture. ‘I just want this flight to be over.’ She rested her head against the seat back as the
plane began to level out and twisted round so that she was looking at Jamie.