Withholding Secrets (16 page)

The house was silent, an eerie silent, and something wasn’t settling right inside of me. Maybe this was what my mom had talked about; that gut feeling when you had kids that something was wrong. And something was really wrong. I barely saw Kane the whole week except when I picked the kids up from the rink. My paycheck did deposit into the new account that Kane gave me, but he was staying away from me at all costs, all because I broke down to him in his office after last Saturday’s game.

It was a knife plunging into my heart, my stomach, and every inch of my body to sit there and tell him that I was doing the wrong thing by keeping the kids. He, of all people, was the one who originally told me that he knew a number I could call to send the kids into foster care. Now, I admitted to doing the wrong thing, to not being able to keep the kids safe, but what did he expect when I saw Skylar with skinned knees and elbows and the bruise on her face? She was being bullied because of me, because I was too young.

Maybe I was too young to take care of them, but I just couldn’t let those two go back into a place like they came from. But when he looked me in the eye and told me that the best place for them was with me, everything crashed inside of me. I was the one who got another boy in trouble for fighting because the kids were too scared to tell me what was going on at school. Ben was probably on the verge of keeping his kids away from mine, and it wasn’t long before the fighting would bring the child protection services into our home.  

I had a lot of time to think after my talk with Kane. He made sure that we had some money so the kids wouldn’t know what was going on, but the bill was getting larger and larger to a point that I wasn’t sure that I would ever be able to pay him back. My life had always been easy and relaxing, everything was always paid off right away, and I had a nice cushion of savings to fall back on just in case something ever happened. Now, my whole world was flipped upside down and I had no idea what to do. I had a moment of weakness and it ended up pushing away the one guy who was really helping us out.

As I sat in my room staring at my sneakers, my heart was getting heavier in my chest by the moment. The kids’ accounts were wiped clean and it was all my fault. If they found out, they would be so upset that I insisted on them starting up their own savings and putting all of their money in the bank. It was supposed to be the safest, right? And someone robbed them, also.

A little soft bumbling, thump echoed in the silent house. The thick raindrops clinked against the window, but it wasn’t anything to be alarmed over. It actually fit the feeling that I was having. Bad things always happened on nights when it rained. Well, that was how it always went in the movies, and my life was turning into nothing but a sappy drama.

The noise came again, only to instigate a surge of panic and fear to up rise in my stomach and cause my heart to take a flying leap into my throat and beat as hard as it possibly could without imploding. For as much as my knees refused to lock and load for me to investigate, I had to force them to obey in order to find out what that noise was.

Leaving the lights off, I made my way through the living room without making a sound, staying as close to the wall as I could. It could be Jordan getting something to eat, seeing as he was always hungry lately, or Sky could have come down to use the bathroom. But, for what I could see in the darkness, there wasn’t anyone loitering in the kitchen and the bathroom light wasn’t on.

If there was someone in the house, I could get down to Jordan’s room and get him up to guard the staircase as I went up to Sky’s room. Quietly, I took each step to the basement carefully, assuring no boards would creak under my weight. Arriving to the bottom, I could see through the doorway at the flattened comforter. He wasn’t there.

Jordan went downstairs after dinner because he was so beat after the game. I watched him retreat to his bedroom, but he was gone now. Keeping my back to the wall, I went to the staircase, each step causing the muscles in my chest to tighten as much as they could. Jordan was gone, and if Sky was gone also, I wouldn’t know what to do. It was midnight and my kids ran away. Why would they run away? They both told me that they were happy and I was all they ever wanted. They both were happy, weren’t they?

My heart stopped as I heard the floor creaking upstairs. A breath came out that I hadn’t realized I was holding. Sky was still up in her room. She was home, but where in the hell was Jordan?

Just as I made it half way up the steps, the front door handle jiggled, seizing every spot in my body. My feet were glued to the floor and my knees were weakening with each movement of that damn handle. Jordan had a key, but this wasn’t someone trying to use a key to get in. Someone was trying to break in by jimmying the lock.

Thankful to be dressed in my sweatpants and sweatshirt, I pushed my legs to get me upstairs to get to Sky. Reaching into the right pocket of my sweatpants, my heart sank into my stomach, though it kept its sporadic beating, just hard enough to send my dinner into an assault movement. My phone was on the kitchen counter where I always left it for the kids to call someone if they wanted to.

Someone was trying to get in the house, Jordan was missing, and my phone was on the counter and I couldn’t get to it. I had to get Sky out of the house. Even if I did have my phone, how could I call the police and tell them that the boy who was under my care ran away in the middle of the night and someone was breaking into my house? My butt was already under the firing squad, and one wrong move, they would shoot me down.

The handle went silent for a moment and the footsteps thudded down the steps of the rickety wooden porch. As quiet as I could, I snuck up the steps and rounded the corner, inching my way down the wall. My heart pounded in my ears and my breathing was drowning out any other noises I needed to hear. Beads of sweat were balling up on my forehead, and my stomach was crawling its way up my throat. With the prickliness attacking the back of my neck, my gut was screaming to get Sky and get the hell out of the house. And going through the main floor was not going to be an option with whoever was trying to break in choosing that way to do so.

Just as I got to Sky’s bedroom door, she stepped out, looking at the front window where the rain was pelting on the glass. Cupping my hand over her mouth and sliding an arm around her waist, I pulled her to me. “It’s me. It’s me. Shhh.”

Her heart was pounding so hard that it was beating out of her chest and I could feel it slamming against me. I didn’t mean to scare her, but I couldn’t have her make any noise. Her hands wrapped around my arm, holding onto me, her fingertips digging into my arm.

Taking her to the window at the back of the upstairs, I carefully slid it open as quietly as I could. Waving her over, I helped her out as the back door’s handle jiggled. The door slowly creaking open, and sloppy, dragging of boots told me that it was absolutely not Jordan at all.

Looking over Sky being soaked in the heavier rain, my chest collapsed on my heart. All she had on was her tank top and her boy shorts underwear, and we didn’t have time to grab anything else. We needed to get her the hell out of the house. Slipping out behind her, I palmed the cold glass as the rain seeped down the back of my neck. Of all the nights to rain, this had to be the night.

I got the window down and pointed to the edge of the little roof. “We need to go now. He’s in the house.”

“Where’s Jordan?” Her hand wrapped around my arm as she held on to me as tight as she could, her body trembling and the water was beginning to run off her saturated tank top.

“I don’t know.
He’s not home
.” I gritted my teeth and the words nipped at her, though I didn’t mean to bite the anger at her. It wasn’t her fault her brother decided to sneak out. And whoever was in the house probably saw him leave the house and that was why the intruder came in.

Taking hold of her hand tightly, I laid down and motioned for her to come close. Getting her to safety was the only thing I could think of doing right now. Then, I would have to find out where the hell Jordan was. “Crawl over to me, feet first, and when you get to the edge, hold on to my hands tightly. I’m going to lift you down.”

“I can’t, Keri. I’m scared.” The whimpers were beginning to come through, and I couldn’t risk her bellowing out cries right now.

“I got you, Sky. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.” I waited, and she finally did what I said, easing her over the ledge, my hands slickening with the rain coming down even heavier.

She went over the edge and I scooted more and more until she slipped away. I pointed over to the bushes in the back and she started for them. Turning around, I inched myself over the edge and my hands slipped against the river that was building on the old and tattered shingles, sending me straight down to the muddy ground, and hard. The pain shot through the arm that braced my fall, but it didn’t feel like it was broken. More like a warmth that was pooling into my bicep so far. Wasting no time, I picked myself up to my feet and followed her into the thick brush.

The hammering in my chest grew violent, knocking out all the air from my lungs, and I couldn’t breathe. Clenching in my stomach was threatening to shove my dinner out, but I managed to hold it back for now. My poor little girl was standing there in her boy shorts and a tank top that was showing off her adolescent goods, and I had to do something about that. Pulling the sweatshirt over my head, I handed it to her and she quickly started to put it on. I had a tank top on, but at least it wouldn’t show off anything but my curves and my discounted plain white bra. Besides, if someone did try something with me, I could send her for help while I fought like hell.

“Put that on now.” I looked over my shoulder, checking to see if I could see any movement, but there wasn’t anything. I had to get Sky in a safe place. And I just prayed that Jordan stayed wherever he was until I could get help. But where could I take Sky, and where would she be safe? The only ones that I had trusted with her were Ben and Kane. Ben lived out on a farm where there was no way we could get there tonight, and Kane…

Kane was probably at the club. That was where I heard that he spent his weekends. If he wasn’t there, I would just have to find someone who would call him or Ben to come and get us. Calling the police with Jordan missing would only assure I would be constantly watched and the kids could get removed from my care.

Hooking my fingers in the waist of my bottoms, I slipped them down, kicked off my shoes, and stepped out of them. Passing them over, I watched her fumble around while trying not to cry. Her fear was so thick that she was shaking worse than anything, managing to knot up the saturated pants more than getting them on.

Checking over the back yard again, there wasn’t any sign of Jordan, nor another intruder. But, I needed to get to Jordan before he went into the house.  

“Keri, I’m scared.” Sky grabbed my hand, squeezing it hard. Her dark eyes were focusing on me; her body right tight to me.

“I’m right here, Sky.” Checking her over, I swallowed hard. Running around in my tank and panties wasn’t something I ever thought I would have to do, but I couldn’t let her run around half naked in the middle of the night. “We are going to go through the back, and I need you to stay right by me. If I tell you to hide, you hide. Don’t worry about me.”

“No, Keri. Don’t leave me. Please, don’t.” Her fingers pressing into my chilled, clammy skin, the small edges of her nails were digging through my barrier and cutting straight to my arm bone.

“If something does happen, I need you to go straight down the road, follow it to Center Street, and go to the club called
The Edge
. You go in there and tell them that you need to talk to Coach Kane. They will find him for you.”

“No. Please.” She covered her mouth with her hand.

“If I tell you to run, that is where you run straight to. Do you understand me?” I poked my head out of the bushes a little, checking the back yard for any signs of Jordan. There wasn’t any, but the intruder was still in the house. The shadow passed by the kitchen window again, bringing the nausea up my throat.

Turning around, I pointed to the backside of the bushes. Following her, I stuck close, my hand on her the whole time, directing her where to go. We made it across the back yard and through the neighbor’s miniature lawn and we were out of yards. Reaching the town’s fenced in lot, I found a weakened spot in the chain-link and lifted it up enough for her to crawl through.

Once she was through, I slid down into the sandy muck and began to work my way under, but the weakened section snapped apart, stabbing its way right into my upper thigh and the searing hot pain shot into my left thigh where a sticky, thick crimson syrup was oozing from. 

Tears scorched my eyes as I tried to tug a little to free my leg, but the fencing wasn’t giving. The trembling hands grabbed my arm, and the color in Sky’s face was fading fast as her eyes were focused on the blood. Hearing a car, I clenched my jaw tightly as I just pulled, causing the jagged end to slice through my skin all the way to my knee before letting go. Blood oozed down my leg and the pain was piercing. I needed to throw up. I needed to just…

The ground was shifting and weaving and … it was fading … sideways…

“Keri, please don’t leave me. Please don’t.” Soft sobbing dug into my heart and pulled me from the fuzziness that was trying to invade my mind. “Come on. I can’t do this without you.”