Within Sight (New Adult Biker Gang Romance) (Night Horses MC Book 5) (2 page)

“Get some work done,” she said.

She sat behind her desk and pulled a stack of grading to her.

Our talk was over. She was the teacher again, with a gulf between us.

She was right.

I hadn’t noticed, but the whispers… they followed me like a wake behind a canoe.

A boy coughed and said “Slut,” behind his hand.

A girl said “God, she’s weird.”

What was who I was to these people now. I saw it in their eyes. I was strange, foreign.

Some kind of slut.

Three periods of being aware of what they were saying, aware of their gazes, was almost more than I could stand.

I didn’t trust myself to speak.

As soon as the last bell rang, I was the fuck out of there.

I cut through the woods and made it to my little apartment in twenty minutes.

Merle showed up after I broke the third glass.

“I hate being a fucking landlord,” he said, shutting the door behind him and re-locking it. “People texting me about someone throwing shit at walls.”

I picked up another glass and eyed him.

I didn’t throw it at him, but I threw it on the floor.

Neither of us flinched at the shattering noise.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he said. “What happened?”

“Why the fuck are you here?” I asked him.

He shrugged.

“I figured I’d take you out,” he said. “Good thing I was in the area. Got some pissy texts from your neighbor.”

“Oh, so you figured you could take me out now? I’d just come when you called, like I was at your beck and fucking call?”

The irritated knocking on the wall didn’t get me to stop shouting. Even the pained look on Merle’s handsome face.

He sat on the couch, my couch, and crossed his arms.

“You done?” he asked.

“Fuck you,” I said. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. Fuck all of them. Fuck those stupid fucking assholes.”

“Ah,” he said. “Bad day at school?”

“Oh, can it,” I said. “You’re not my fucking parent.”

“No,” he snapped. “I’m sticking with you. So stop attacking me, okay?”

That hurt.

I sighed.

I sat down next to him. I didn’t reach out to him, but I was there.

“I hadn’t realized what people were saying about me,” I said.

He winced.

“Bad?” he asked.

“Slut, bitch, all that shit,” I said. I tried to keep my voice steady. I tried not to yell, to attack him, to break everything within reach.

My hands were in fists on my legs, my back was ramrod straight, but the dishes were safe.

For now.

Merle didn’t try to touch me. I was grateful. He was always good at that, at knowing when to touch me and when not to, knowing when to give me space.

I needed that from him. I needed him. My heart ached when I realized how much.

I felt my body start to relax. I was finally letting go of this anger.

For now, at least.

“I’m sorry, Merle,” I said, looking up at him from under my lashes. I couldn’t help it. I wasn’t trying to be flirty, but I was too embarrassed to look at him straight on.

He reached over and squeezed my shoulder.

“No harm done,” he said. “Well. No harm done to anything we can’t replace.”

“I need a job,” I announced.

“Hey, you have one. You’ve gotta finish school.”

“Seriously,” I said.

“I’m serious, I want you to finish high school before you have to worry about anything else,” he said. His dark eyes were intense and wonderful. I felt like I could lose myself in them, but I knew I needed to hold myself steady for a bit.

“Merle. I need a job. I can’t just… just live off of you like this. Like you’re my… my dad, or my sugar daddy, or something,” I said.

“I feel responsible,” he said.

“Bullshit,” I told him, jabbing my finger at him. “That right there is some goddamn bullshit.”

He glared.

He crossed his fingers over his chest. Hah! I bet he wasn’t used to people calling him out like that. He was so fucking handsome, girls probably fell all over him.

Well, I was definitely falling all over him, but I wasn’t going to let that be all I did.

“I knew my parents would be upset if I went out with you. I knew they’d be pissed if I didn’t check my phone. I did it anyways. I made that choice. You don’t have to protect me from the fallout of my decisions. I’m not your child,” I repeated.

His hands were strong and calloused against mine when he reached out to me.

“I… I didn’t mean it like that,” he said, holding my hand in his own. “I don’t want to ruin your fucking life, okay? You’re beautiful and you’re smart and you could do anything. I… I didn’t have those choices.”

I snorted.

“You’re not going to tell me you’re some stupid bumpkin, are you?” I demanded. “You’re the boss of the Night Horses. Even I’ve heard of the Night Horses. You don’t get to be the leader of a group like that without being seriously smart.”

He shrugged. “Sure, but… That was my only choice. I never could have gone to college or anything. No money. No family who cared about me.”

“Looks like I have no money and no family now,” I said. “Isn’t it nice to have things in common?”

It was a terrible joke, and I burned with embarrassment after I said it.

When I opened my mouth to apologize, he shook his head.

“Yeah. Do you get what I’m saying, though? It hasn’t been that goddamn long since you were going to prom, living in a nice-ass suburban house, going to the best public school around… Shit, you were probably in AP courses, getting college credit and shit.”

I looked away.

“Two,” I said. “English and U. S. History.”

“That’s all changed for you, since you met me. Since I came into your life, I’ve done nothing but fuck it up, make you fucked up like me,” Merle said.

I refused to look at him. I didn’t want to see the pain in his eyes. Hearing it in his voice was bad enough.

“Bullshit,” I repeated in a whisper. My voice grew stronger as I went on. “When you met me, I was sitting there crying because my asshole prom date got me mixed up with some scary gangbangers.”

I reached out and took his other hand, finally looking towards him, meeting his eyes.

“You didn’t sweep me away to a life of drugs and sex,” I said. “You gave me a handkerchief and bought me breakfast. How the fuck is that fucking me up?”

I got a smile from him. God, his smile was so amazing, breaking out like a sunrise, to illuminate his whole face… and turn me sappy.

“Merle,” I said. I felt like if I said his name enough, if he said mine enough, our connection would have to stay strong.

It was all I really wanted from him.

I didn’t want his apartment, his money. I sure as hell didn’t want his drugs.

I wanted more than that.

I wanted every fiber of his being. I wanted the dark intensity of his soul I saw behind those amazing eyes. I wanted all of that passion focused on me.

I don’t bother dreaming small.

Merle leaned over and kissed my cheek, and then my lips, softly, chastely, sweetly.

I sighed and leaned against him.

“The storm is broken?” he asked.

“I’m done throwing things,” I said.

“Can I take you out to dinner?” he asked. “We can talk about what you can do.”

Before we left, I got out a dustpan and swept up the remains of my temper tantrum.

Now that I was calm, I was ashamed of what I’d done.

How on earth could I expect Merle to treat me like a responsible adult when I was acting the spoiled child?

Fuck me, I’m dumb sometimes.

Merle took my dumb ass out for a burger at a decent place downtown.

I found myself eying everyone who walked by, my heart racing each time someone looked our way.

Merle’s eyes were a little shadowed.

His smile twisted.

“We own this place. Everyone who works here is a… friend, or a friend of a friend,” he said.

“How do you own it?” I asked. “Like, do all of you own it together, or one person?”

“Well, on paper, Alex owns it. He’s in charge of… making things look good on paper,” Merle said. “It’s a useful business.”

“Makes a lot?” I asked.

He laughed out loud.

“Shit, no,” he said. “It costs us money to run, sometimes.”

I frowned at him. How on earth could a business that cost money be useful?

Seeing my confusion, he explained. “We need a way to pay ourselves, legally,” he said.

“We have a few businesses around town, and we’re all on the books. We have social security, workman’s comp… everything you might want.”

“But… why?” I asked. With all Merle talked about not having any options, why go through all the trouble for social security and all that?

“The IRS,” Merle said, simply. “You can fuck with the law in a lot of ways, but if you don’t pay your fucking taxes, you’re totally boned. That’s how a lot of the big guys get taken down – they’re in for life on tax fraud or tax evasion and that sort of bullshit.”

I almost laughed. That sounded like such a… such a white-collar crime, and a lot of these guys I’d met were as blue-collar as you could get.

“You want a job at one of our places?” he asked. “You can have your choice. We’ve got a laundrymat, this place, a quick-mart… I’d go for the laundrymat. You can sit and do your homework and make sure nobody actually walks away with an entire machine.”

“What would I have to do if they tried?”

His grin was wolfish.

“Text me, of course,” he said. “Somebody’d be there in five minutes or less. You can’t get a big machine out faster’n we can get there.”

“So, no confronting anyone?” I asked. “No heroics?”

“Shit, we’d dock your pay if you fucked up that bad,” he said.

I considered it.

That didn’t sound that bad. It would be somewhere to go other than school and my apartment. I’d feel like I was actually doing something.

“I wouldn’t be taking a job from anybody else?” I asked.

Merle grinned at me, no trace of the attitude that made him so dangerous. Just amusement. I sometimes wished that that was the only side I saw of him.