Without a Doubt (23 page)

Her question catches me off guard. “What? Why?”

“Catherine thinks her boyfriend is clingy. I'm curious with how you would define it.”

“I guess clingy would be someone who didn't know when to give you space.”

“Good answer.”

“Could there be a bad answer?” I ask and she chuckles.

“I don't think so, but you never know.”

A long twenty minutes later, I'm finished with my second paper. “I'm done,” I tell her.

Eva sits up, looks over her shoulder as if she needs proof, and then turns to me with a smile. “Then you get the privilege of removing the last of my clothes.”

“Finally. I'm calling you every time I have to write a paper.” I stand and carry her to my room while she laughs.

The sound of my cell wakes me. I grab it and answer it before it can wake Eva up, too.

“Hello?”

“Hey, did I wake you?”

Shit. Kelly. “No, what's up?” I quietly and carefully ease away from Eva and out of bed. I grab my boxers, slipping them on as I leave the room with the phone pressed to my ear.

“I was calling back.” Right. Because I told her she could.

I withhold my sigh as I sit on the couch. “How are you?”

“Good.” She pauses. “Will you tell me about her?” She wants to know about Eva? “Please, Emerson?”

“Why?”

“I'm curious.”

Part of me doesn't want to share Eva with her. Hell, I don't even know why I'm still talking to her. We're talking like we're best friends again and she doesn't have that privilege anymore. And I know Eva won't be happy to hear I've talked to her again. Swallowing hard, I decide that maybe this should be my last conversation with Kelly. She's going to mess things up with Eva if I continue answering her calls and I don't want that at all.

Closing my eyes, I whisper, “Her name is Eva.”

“Pretty name. What's she like?” Her tone is pure curiosity and it confuses me.

“She's perfect,” I reply before I can think about it. “She's, ah, funny, nosey, smart, caring, and she loves surprises and animals. She's majoring in communications. She has good taste in food. Her family is great and mine seems to like her so far.”

“She's met your parents?”

“Yeah. It was a side effect of me giving her a surprise, although we'll probably go visit again soon.”

“Do you love her?”

Again, I answer without hesitating. “I could.” Hell, maybe I already do. I'm choosing her over Kelly, aren't I?

“Are you happy with her?”

“Yeah, extremely. Are you happy?”

“Yeah, I am, and I'm glad you are too.”

Footsteps sound behind me. I look over my shoulder to see Eva walking toward me with her comforter wrapped around her body. She's frowning and I hate I'm the reason why. “I need to go.”

“Everything okay?”

“It will be.”

“Okay, bye.”

I hang up as Eva sits next to me, our bodies touching from our shoulders to our knees.

“Was that her?” she asks, almost hesitantly.

I nod.

Eva sighs. Her voice is soft as she speaks, keeping her eyes focused on her lap. “Once, I could handle. Twice, I could find a way to deal with it. But Emerson, I wasn't comfortable with it and now this is like the fourth or fifth call; it's becoming a routine. How would you feel if I were leaving you naked in bed, shortly after sleeping together, to talk to my ex? I'm glad you're telling me, but I don't like it. I stayed quiet because I figured maybe you needed closure and because I trust what we are and what we have is worth sticking around for.”

She pauses for a moment to let her works sink in. “Your two years will be up soon. Maybe she doesn't want to wait that long anymore. What am I doing here if she's still in the picture? If you're going to leave me to go back to her because all you were doing was biding your time by doing what she asked?” Eva shakes her head. “I don't think I can do that, Emerson. I don't want parts of you, I don't want to wonder if you'll up and leave me, and I don't want to get hurt.

“This thing with her is driving me
crazy
. I've tried not to tell you, but I don't know how many times I can stand for you to leave me in bed to talk to her. I don't want to make you choose, I really don't. But I don't think I can do this, Emerson. I thought I could, but I can't. I can't.”

A tear falls from her eye and I wipe it away. The words come willingly with no doubt accompanying them. “If it makes you uncomfortable, then I won't answer any more calls, Eva.” Her eyes widen in disbelief. “Until the day I met you, I had every intention of going back home to get back together with her. I care about you and I don't want to hurt you. So, I won't talk to her anymore.”

“Are you sure? I know what she means to you and—”

“She asked me to see other people. She knew what that could lead to.” I cup her face. “Don't you know what
you
mean to me, Eva?”

She gives me a rueful smile. “I have an idea, but it's kind of hard not to let the doubt creep in, Emerson.”

“No more doubting.”

“Are you sure you're sure?” She studies my face, searching for answers.

“So sure I made the decision during the phone call. I don't want to mess things up with you. I trust that what we have is worth sticking around for, too.” I stand and pull her up with me. “Let's go to bed. I'm sure you're shivering under there. My grandma would be.”

Eva shoves me. “Shut up or I'll make you sleep on the couch in your own apartment.”

I laugh. Finally, my shoulders aren't feeling weighed down. In fact, I feel weightless. All because I let Kelly go and held on to Eva. Never in a million years would I have guessed something like this. Maybe I'll never find out why Kelly wanted the break or why she started calling again. I'm actually okay with that though. Kelly is my past. Eva is my present and future. That's the way I want it.

I WAKE UP cold and with goose bumps on my arm. When I notice I only have the sheet covering me, I roll over to see Emerson with both comforters. Groaning, I push him. “Emerson, you stole my comforter,” I practically growl at him.

He wakes up easily since it's probably time to wake up anyway and gives it back to me. “Sorry, sunshine.”

“Whatever. I'm cold.”

Emerson has the nerve to chuckle. However, he makes it up to me by pulling me against him and sharing his comforter as well. “I'll warm you back up.”

I bury my face into his neck, smiling as I remember what happened last night. He closed the door on his past. He decided his present was more important.

“Are you actually smiling? In the
morning
?” Emerson teases.

I wrap my arms around him. “You're the one who calls me sunshine.”

“Because you're grouchy as hell in the morning and I love that about you. It's the opposite of what I usually see.”

“You like that I'm grouchy?”

“And a little mean, too,” he adds. “You pushed me off the bed. Almost did it again this morning.”

“No, I didn't
almost
. You woke up too easily. Now, be quiet and let me sleep some more. And don't say it's about time to get up. A few more minutes, please.”

He kisses my temple and lets me sleep for those few more minutes. Or at least, he tries to. I'm nearly back asleep when he speaks again, his lips brushing against my skin.

“Let's play hooky, Eva. I don't want to get out of bed either.”

“Even work?”

“Yeah.”

“You're becoming a bad influence, Emerson,” I say, leaning back to look at him with a slight smile. “If I call in sick, I can't promise Barry will let me have a weekend off soon to visit your parents.”

“We could make a day of it instead of an entire weekend then.”

“You really want to do this?” He nods. “Okay. You're going to have to feed me though.”

Emerson grins, kisses me, and gets out of bed. “Get that extra bit of sleep and I'll bring you breakfast.”

“I'm too awake now,” I complain.

He laughs on his way out of the room. I lie in bed for a moment longer with a smile stuck on my face before I get up, dress, and call into work sick. These past few weeks have felt like I've been twisted and tied tightly, unable to move much or focus on anything other than being twisted and tied up. Now, it's like those restraints have fallen away. I'm moving, breathing, and feeling at ease. A small part of me feels guilty because it's due to Kelly officially being out of the picture. It's counteracted with the reminder that Emerson seemed to reach the decision on his own.

“Eva!” Emerson yells from the kitchen. “Bring me my shirt and shorts please.”

I snatch up the clothes and take them to him. He shoots me a grateful smile, asking me to man the bacon while he puts them on. “Decided it wasn't so smart to cook in your underwear?” I ask, trying not to laugh.

“The grease got my stomach three times. Thank you.” He kisses my cheek before taking over again.

“Anything I can do to help?”

“No, I got it.”

I take a seat at the bar. “You owe me a steak,” I say, the thought suddenly hitting me. “I almost forgot about it.”

“We'll go to the grocery store and have it for dinner then. Are you staying here again tonight? What do you want to do today?”

My phone vibrates with a text from Catherine, wondering where I am. I send her a quick reply and answer, “It's always a tough choice between my best friend and my boyfriend. I think I'll choose you this time.” I flash him a grin as he chuckles. “I don't care what we do, really. We could stay here all day or go out or maybe ride down to visit your parents if you wanted. You pick.”

He shakes his head. “I don't want to go home.” He moves the bacon to a plate, checks on the biscuits, and starts the eggs. Does he not want to go because he fears he may change his mind about his decision if he's in the same town as Kelly? God, why am I still doubting this? “It looks like it's going to rain all day or I would suggest going to ride the horses,” he adds.

“Let's stay here then.” We're quiet while he finishes fixing breakfast. I get up to pour us something to drink, wanting to slap myself for letting the doubt eat away at me again. When we sit at the bar, I don't bother trying to eat yet. I angle myself toward him. “Can I ask you something? One last time?”

Emerson laces our fingers together and kisses my knuckles. “I'm not having any doubts,” he says. When my lips part and I stare at him in surprise, he laughs. “I've gotten better at reading you, Eva. The only time you seem nervous or worried is when you're thinking about Kelly, the first few moments when I met you and you were worried over hitting Sweet Irene, or that time you wanted to tell me to have sex with you.”

I roll my eyes, pull my hand from his, and shove his shoulder playfully. His smirk is annoying. “Don't make me push you off the bar stool, Emerson,” I warn.

He holds his hands up in surrender before getting a bit serious. “Do you have doubts, Eva?” He turns to face me completely and takes both of my hands in his. “I don't.” He glances down at our hands, rubbing his thumbs over my knuckles. “Kelly will always have a piece of me. The love I had for her will still be there, but not like before. I know you said you didn't want parts of me, but,” he takes a deep breath and looks up at me, “I can give you the parts I have left.” He finishes with a low voice, “I can give you every part of who I am now.”