Without Doubt (8 page)

“
Does this mean that
you’ll stay friends with me even though my life is chaotic and I’m
a mom?” I ask this beautiful boy that just made me float with his
kiss.

“
No, Ava. This means that
you’re mine and nobody else’s. This means that you’re going to
introduce me to your daughter and we will never again go a day
without some sort of communication. You can forget going another
full week. I won’t let it happen again. Got it?”

“
Yes, but Dec, now that
you know, it’s going to be different. Having a child is completely
consuming. It’s exhausting and there’s no time for fun.”

“
Sunshine, if you can take
on the role of parenthood while working full time and getting your
PhD, I can be your partner in crime. No more arguing about it. It’s
done,” he says with finality.

Relief washes over me and tears threaten to
spill over before his face turns hard once again and he continues,
pointing a stern finger at me.

“
One more thing—no more
fucking kissing Jackson the best friend. We clear on that,
Ava?”

I probably shouldn’t find this funny, but I
do. I manage to tap down the bubble of laughter looming inside my
chest but I can’t hide the smile on my face from his sudden, fierce
possessiveness. I’ve seen it a few times in the last three months.
His tone would change during certain discussions on the phone or
when Jerry would cross a line at the bar, I would see a little bit
of his possessive side come out, even with his friends, but this
was much more than I’ve seen before and the silly girl inside me
melted from it.

I still feel unsure about the whole
situation. I can’t be positive that he’ll be able to handle my
hectic schedule, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt and
handle the outcome later.

“
You ready to go inside?”
he asks in a much softer tone.

I nod my answer and he takes my hand. “I
just need to freshen up real quick before anyone sees me like this.
I’m a mess.” I look up to Declan and find him smiling down at me
with such happiness in his eyes that I almost start crying all over
again.

“
You look beautiful, but
I’ll take you to the restroom before we head out back.”

“
Why are you dressed like
that, by the way?” I ask. “I hardly recognized you.”

He chuckles a little. “Uhh, you’ll see in a
minute.” He pulls on my hand and I try not to freak out over that
vague answer. What could possibly be in the back that would rid
Declan of his piercings, messy hair and street clothes?

We walk inside and are greeted with a
two-story foyer with a curved staircase on either side. The floor
is dark hardwood and it runs all the way up the staircase. The
bannister is made up of a rich wood and intricate wrought iron
detail. It’s stunning.

Declan pulls my hand to have me follow him
upstairs. He looks back down at me and the happiness has mostly
vanished—he looks peeved. “It’s just a house, Ava.”

“
Um no, it’s not, Declan.
This place is…”

“
Don’t. It’s just a
house.”

I’m not sure why he’s acting this way. I
can’t put my finger on his mood exactly. If this were my place, I’m
pretty sure I would have dragged him through every room already. I
would be so proud of it. Instead, he almost looks embarrassed.

“
I was just going to say
that it’s beautiful. It doesn’t suit your personality, but I still
love it.”

“
Yeah?” he asks, relaxing
a little as we start to walk down a short hallway before
approaching a set of double doors.

“
Yeah.”

He leans down and kisses me chastely. “Well,
wait ‘til you see my room.” He pushes open the door to the right
and gestures for me to go in. It’s like a different world in here.
There’s plush beige carpet across the expansive room and a huge bed
with plain brown bedding sits off to the right. It looks so
comfortable I just want to crawl up in it and take a nap. There’s a
chair and a side table next to doors that open up to a balcony.

On the left is a living area with a couple
recliners and a sofa surrounding a huge flat screen TV. On either
side of the TV are framed posters of fighters. There are several
shelves that hold framed magazine and newspaper articles, along
with a lot of trophies and colored belts from a karate GI.

“
Now this is more of what
I had imagined.” I chance a look up at him and he’s smiling again.
This is room he’s proud of. He’s obviously happy to have me in here
and I couldn’t be happier to be here.

“
This is the only room I
was able to keep Macie out of,” he explains as he leads me into the
ginormous bathroom. I mean seriously, what does one need with all
of this space in their bathroom? “She’s infatuated with my shower,
so she showers in here when she stays over. She keeps her own
drawers stocked full, I’m sure I can find you some of those makeup
wipe things.” Declan digs through some very full drawers before he
fishes the wipes out of the last drawer. He walks back over to me
and I can’t take my eyes off of him. Everything about him is so
beautiful. He pulls a wipe out of the case and starts to gently
wipe the running mascara from my eyes. He dips down and kisses me
under my left ear.

I suck in a deep breath and hear him
groan.

“
You look wildly sexy with
your new hair. I miss the long, out of control waves, but I love
this look on you, Sunshine.” Declan kisses along my ear as he
whispers to me. Up until now I had completely forgotten that I cut
off all of my hair.

I don’t want him to stop. I run my hands up
his chest and over his shoulders until my fingers find their way up
into his styled hair. His lips leave my ear and run along my jaw up
to my lips. His tongue once again pushes its way to find mine. It’s
not much of a task, since my lips are on sensory mode and open
automatically to him. He lifts me up onto the counter and wraps my
legs around his waist, pulling me as close as he can, gripping my
hips tightly with his fingers. I bring my hands back down to his
chest and search out the buttons. Just as I get the top one undone
he stops kissing me and presses his forehead to mine.

“
Fuuuuck,” he says in a
long, drawn out whisper, “you don’t know how bad I’m wishing we
didn’t have a house full of people here. I want you so bad, Ava,
but not like this.” His breathing is labored as he takes a deep
breath and kisses me again. “I need to get back out
there.”

I can’t find my words. I’m feeling
unreasonably upset that he’s not taking me on the counter of his
bathroom with a ton of people just downstairs. What the heck is
wrong with me?

“
Just use whatever you
need and then meet me down there, ‘kay?”

I nod my head a couple times and regain my
control. “Yes. Will I be able to find you?”

He gives me an annoyed look and I suppress a
laugh. “Go through the dining room, which is to the left of the
bottom of the staircase. Then go out the door farthest to the right
on the back wall of the family room. We’ll just be on the back
patio.”

“
Is there a treasure map
to go along with those directions?”

Declan laughs and shakes his head. “Shut up,
Ava.”

I giggle along with him as he turns around
and walks out of the master bath where I remain seated on the
vanity. Declan has me feeling a kind of happy that I don’t think
I’ve ever experienced. Not even as a small child.

After a minute of digging through Macie’s
drawers, I find a tube of new mascara and open it up to reapply
what I cried off earlier. With a mildly nervous stomach, I descend
the staircase and easily find the dining room. A beautiful woman is
sitting at the far end of the elaborate dark wood table. She
doesn’t look much older than I am; late twenties maybe.

She’s working on her laptop and talking on
her cell phone. She’s completely engrossed in whatever she’s
working on, but her phone is on speaker and I can hear the woman on
the other end. I try hard not to eavesdrop, but let’s face it,
that’s impossible when they’re the only other ones in the room
holding a conversation.

“
Spill, Bay,” the voice
from the phone urges. “Is he as hot as his cousin? I know is he, he
has to be. Definitely doable, right? I really need to Google this
guy already! I can’t believe you’re staying with him tonight. Are
you going to be able to keep from sneaking in his room? I probably
wouldn’t, screw the contract….”

“
Drea, I need to go.” The
lovely and now completely infuriating brunette cuts off her friend
and hangs up as she sees me walking toward her. “You must be
Ava.”

She sounds kind enough and she even looks a
little happy to see me, which is odd since I have no clue who she
is, what she’s doing staying with Declan tonight, or why she’s
having a conversation about sleeping with my boyfriend.

She stands in front of me and thrusts her
pretty little hand toward my stomach. I’m still reeling from the
phone conversation I was obviously not meant to hear. “I’m Bailey.
It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Finally my brain leaves the phone
conversation behind and kicks into gear. “Yes, I’m Ava. I’m sorry,
I’m not aware of who you are.”

“
Oh, God. Then that
conversation you just heard sounded terrible to you, I’m sure.”
Bailey uses her hands to smooth her skirt down before looking back
up at me. Clearly the woman must work for Declan in some way and
unfortunately I’m getting the feeling that they’re close in some
way also.

“
I think I should probably
go find Dec.” I take a small step to move around her but she places
her hand on the inside of my elbow to keep me from walking away. It
has been so long since I’ve had a boyfriend that I don’t know the
correct protocol for this kind of situation. What I do know is how
I’m feeling and it’s a terrible ugly ball of fury in the pit of my
stomach. Rachel putting her hand on Declan’s neck pales in
comparison to the thought of this woman staying the night in this
house.

“
Wait,” she says urgently.
“I’m Declan’s publicist.” Her golden eyes are round and expectant,
as though that should just clear everything up. It doesn’t. She
smiles kindly as she slowly shakes her head back and forth a few
times. “He never mentioned me?” She sighs and narrows her eyes as
she obviously considers this option for the first time.

“
No.”

She takes a deep breath and releases my arm
but still stands firmly in front of me. “I met him in November when
he came out to New Jersey for a fight.”

I remember when he when
out to that fight. That’s when he sent me dinner and we exchanged
phone numbers when he returned home. He had come straight from the
airport to the bar to see me…and he had been with her just before
that. Before I realize it, I’m cutting her off with my mumbling.
“Of course you did.”
I will not cry, I
will not cry.

“
No Ava, not like that.
You see, I’m sort of what one would call obsessed, or maybe
infatuated, with his cousin, Talon.” She grimaces as she says the
words but she’s still smiling while thinking of what I assume to be
fond memories. “I met Declan while staying at his cousin’s home in
the Hamptons. Declan and the guys spent a few nights with us and we
kind of hit it off in a brotherly/sisterly manner. Anyway, when he
flew out to New York last week he asked me to help him out with the
Public Relations aspect of his fights. That’s why I’m here tonight,
so he can sign his final papers for me.”

That explanation is most definitely not what
I was expecting and I feel bad for thinking she was just some slut
trying to scam on my boyfriend. Bailey was so sweet when she
corrected my assumption; I can see why Declan would strike up a
friendly relationship with her. I feel all the weight lift from my
shoulders and as much as I like talking to her now, I can’t get
past the fact that he needs someone to handle his Public Relations
for his fighting. What does that even mean? Plus, the woman on the
phone said she needed to Google Declan. Really? He’s
Googleable?

“
Declan needs a
publicist?” is all I manage to get out.

There’s that kind smile again. I feel like
she should be looking at me like the clueless chick that I am, but
she’s not.

“
Yeah.” She laughs a
little. “He should’ve had a publicist a while ago, but he was in
denial. Anyway, it really is great to meet you, Ava. You should
probably go find your man. I’m sure he’s anxiously waiting for
you.” She gives me a friendly hug, but before she pulls back that
phone conversation pops back into my brain.

“
Um, that conversation I
walked in on…” I don’t really know what I want to know from her, I
just feel like it should be brought up.

“
Oh yeah. Please don’t
look too far into that. That was my coworker and very single best
friend. I just block her out when she gets in those modes. I would
have shut her up had I known you were coming in here. Sorry about
that,” Bailey explains sheepishly.

“
Well then it’s nice
meeting you too, Bailey.” I told her I was going to go find Declan
and she told me she had more emails to send before she could finish
up and join us in the back.

As I find my way to Declan, I tell myself
that I really am okay with Bailey and her staying the night in
Dec’s house. However, a new unwelcome thought of strange women
Googling him and deciding whether or not he’s doable is now front
and center in my mind and it doesn’t seem as if Ill be able to
shake these thoughts anytime soon. If his career is as intense as
Bailey makes it sound, then this issue of mine will only get worse
with time. I should definitely speak to Declan about all of
this.