Without Me (19 page)

“Hey,” I said, needing to look into her eyes.

She opened them but looked at my shoulder.

“Look at me, Max,” I commanded, not about to play a game as her eyes met mine. “You can play the hardass, Max, the one who doesn’t give a fuck about anything, but I know the truth. We got great news today, baby. Stop being a pessimist.” I placed my lips on her forehead, brushing my nose through her hair.

“I’ve just believed it for so long, it’s hard to think anything different.”

“It doesn’t matter what she said, Max. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life loving you.”

She grabbed my sides, digging her nails into my skin. “Take a day and think about it.”

“I don’t need a day.” I backed away and stared down at her. “We’ve spent enough time dicking around.”

“Can you take me home, Anthony? I’m tired and want to lie down.” She peered down at the ground and squeezed me.

“Sure, but I’m staying with you. I need to hold you.” I wanted to curl into a ball and bring her into my cocoon.

Before she could respond, I crushed my lips to hers. I inhaled her scent, the cherry lip gloss she’d used over her lipstick to give it the shine. I didn’t care about that, but I enjoyed the smell and taste. The fullness of her lips on mine sent the expected sparks of electricity through my body.

By the time I broke the kiss, her breathing was ragged. I needed to bury myself inside her and get lost in the feel of our bodies together. It would help block everything else out and make it about us in that moment. There would be no illness, no future, just our bodies connected and working as one.

As I opened the door, I said, “I love you, Max, and I’m here to stay.”

She just smiled, sliding into the seat before staring out the front window. I needed to remind her of the happy things in life.

No longer did I live life for me. Now, it was about us.

The man wouldn’t take no for an answer.

I’d given him a final chance of bowing out of the entire clusterfuck that was my future. He refused, pressing forward and dropping to one knee. When he did, my knees became weak.

Never in my life did I think he’d propose. Especially since we hadn’t known each other for that long. I couldn’t even form a coherent thought when I realized what he was saying to me.

I know the doctor said I was negative, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that someday I’d face the same fate as my father. Maybe in time I’d feel at ease and be able to believe that I’d have my happy ending.

Anthony made me want to believe it was true. The impossible now felt probable, and for the first time in a long time, I felt hopeful.

No one knows their future, but it doesn’t cripple them and stop them from finding their happiness. Why should I let it stop me? I needed to live my life one day at a time, loving Anthony, and being truly happy. I’d lived long enough with the cloud over my head.

M
ax
and I had been going back and forth about marriage since the day we’d received the results. Months ago, she hadn’t wanted a boyfriend, but I hadn’t given up and eventually got my way. Getting her to agree to be my wife was a much harder fight. Being who I was, I was willing to stick with it until the end. I wouldn’t give up.

“Say yes,” I commanded her through gritted teeth. “Say it.” I slammed my dick into her. Fuck, she felt so damn good.

If I could have done it, I’d have stayed this way, with our bodies connected. There wasn’t an hour of the day that I didn’t think of her pussy, the feel, smell, and taste of it.

“No!” she said, shaking her head.

Max was in front of me, bent over on all fours. Her beautiful ass was on full display as I pulled out. I couldn’t help but glance down and watch my cock as it moved in and out of her.

“Max, you know what I want to hear!” I rubbed both cheeks with my palms, caressing them as I waited for her response.

“No!” she yelled into the mattress.

My hand came down hard on her tender flesh. A loud crack echoed through the room as she howled.

“Say it, Kitty Cat. Whose pussy is this?” I kept rhythm, trying to keep her on the edge both mentally and physically until she relented.

Her side profile was visible over her shoulder as she sank down into the bed, but she kept her ass in the air. Then she sealed her eyes shut as she whispered, “Yours.”

“Louder. I couldn’t hear you. Whose?” I gripped her hips.

“Yours!” she screamed as I drove my rock-hard shaft into her wetness.

“Whose woman are you?” I trailed one hand down her spine, running my fingertips over each bone.

“Yours!” she called out before she sucked in a breath.

Seeing her this way, with my cock inside her and at my mercy, was such a heady feeling. I felt drunk on lust and power with her beneath me.

I pulled all the way out, hovering over her opening. “Whose wife are you going to be?” I figured that, maybe if I threw it in during the heat of passion, she’d finally say yes. I wouldn’t let her forget it, either.

When she didn’t respond, I released her hip and smacked her ass harder on the same exact spot I’d struck earlier.

“Ouch,” she cried as she tried to crawl forward.

I didn’t let her get away, dragging her back with a tight grip on her hips. I peppered her back with kisses until her body sagged into the mattress.

“Say you’ll be my wife, Max.” It was the only thing in the world I wanted to hear.

I slid my fingers between her legs, creating a V. I stroked her clit as I pounded into her. Her pussy contracted as the orgasm began to build inside her.

Just as her breathing changed, I cupped her sex and waited. I wouldn’t let her come until she gave in and said yes. No fucking way would I give her that pleasure without hearing those words.

“I can’t,” she whined as she wiggled, trying to get friction from my fingers.

I still fucking hated that phrase. It was worse than no.

“You can,” I whispered in her ear as I stuck my cock as far as it could go inside her.

“Anthony, please,” she said, pushing her ass backward.

“Max,” I said as I moved my fingers enough to make her body shudder, “if you want to come, you’ll say yes.”

“You’re an asshole,” she snarled as she glared at me over her shoulder.

I kept my voice low as I said into her ear, “I know. Now, say it, baby.”

“Okay. Okay. I’ll marry you,” she said.

Not my shining moment, but I’d fucking take it.

Just as I started to move again, I tweaked her clit, feeling her body tremble, and my phone began to ring.

I ignored it, letting it ring until it went to voicemail. Nothing was going to stop me from fucking the shit out of her until we both collapsed into a sweaty pile. Seconds later, the phone began to ring again.

“Oh, God,” she moaned as she fisted the sheets in her hands. Her ass began to sway as I continued to charge forward and chase the orgasm.

“Ignore it,” I bit out, too deep to stop.

As my movement became sporadic, the phone began to ring again. I didn’t stop. Hell, I couldn’t stop. Pinching her clit between my fingers, I brought her over the edge with me as we both screamed through the pleasure.

By the time my body stopped shuddering from the aftershocks, the phone had rung at least ten more times. She lay beneath me, breathing heavily.

“You better get that,” she said as she collapsed.

I grabbed my phone off the nightstand and looked at the caller ID. “Damn it,” I blurted out when I saw that it was my mother. Total cock-block move. She’d never called me over and over again. It wasn’t her style.

I hit the call back button and waited. She picked up on the second ring.

“Anthony!” she shrieked.

“What the hell, Ma?” I asked as I moved the phone away from my ear.

“It’s Suzy. She’s in labor. Get to the hospital now.”

I shook my head. “Ma, I understand you’re excited, but it’s going to be hours until she has the baby. I’ll be there when I can.”

“Come now, and bring Max,” she said. Then she hung up.

I looked at the phone, wondering where my mother had gone and who the hell was occupying her body now. She’d become a ball of stress as Suzy’s date had come closer.

“You don’t even need to tell me.” Max chuckled, trying to push her body up, but her arms were still too unsteady. “I guess we better go.” She spread her arms out.

My legs were burning and my entire body felt like jelly. I didn’t even know if I could move without falling down.

“We have time.”

“Oh, no. We are not making your mother wait.”

“Jesus, Max. Come on. Lie here with me for a minute.”

“No,” she said as she pushed me away.

I fell on to my back, sprawling out as she climbed to her feet. “You just had to lie there and enjoy the fucking. I was the one doing all the work.” I smiled, knowing I’d get a shitstorm for that comment. Women had it easy. “Next time, you can hop on top and do the work.”

“Puh-lease. It isn’t that difficult, Anthony. Get your ass up,” she demanded as she pulled at my foot.

“Maybe I need to fuck you again. You’re way too mouthy.”

She giggled, slapping the bottom of my foot. “Later. If you’re good, I’ll give you more pussy later.”

“Shit, I’ll just take it. You said it’s mine, Max. I take possession very seriously.” I placed my palms on the mattress and lifted myself up. “Give me five minutes.”

“You have five minutes while I go get ready. Then we’re leaving,” she called out over her shoulder as she disappeared into the bathroom.

I stared at the ceiling and knew that the moment I brought up marriage again she’d deny ever saying it. Or she’d say that I’d blackmailed her to get the answer I wanted. We needed to announce it to the family. If Max cared that much about disappointing my mother, I’d find a way to make the wedding happen.

W
e strolled
into the hospital forty-five minutes after my mother had demanded our presence. The maternity waiting room was filled with Gallos. We were the only ones missing.

“Anthony!” Ma called out as soon as she saw us. She hustled toward us with a giant smile on her face. “It’s happening. I’m going to be a grandmother. Oh my God, I’m going to be Nona!”

“Ma,” I whispered as I hugged her. “Breathe, woman.” I chuckled. I didn’t know the last time she had been so worked up.

“I am. I am.” She rubbed my back, quiet giggles shaking her body. “She’s been in labor for hours. She’s already pushing. The baby will be here any time now.”

“Hey, Pop,” I said as I watched him over my mother’s head.

He was pacing an invisible path across the waiting room. “Son.” He nodded and continued on his endeavor to wear out the linoleum.

“Don’t mind him. Births always make him nervous. This is such an exciting day. It couldn’t get any better.”

I smiled at her and felt that the moment was right. “It can, Ma. Everyone, Max and I have an announcement.”

I didn’t fucking dare to look at her. I could feel her stare boring a hole through my head.

She tugged on my arm and whispered, “What the fuck are you doing?”

I ignored her. “Today, Max agreed to be my wife,” I announced.

Izzy clapped, Ma screamed, and my brothers and Pop smiled.

“Asshole,” Max mumbled, loud enough for me to hear.

“Another daughter.” Ma approached Max and pulled her into her arms.

Max spun with my ma in her arms and glared at me. I just smiled, knowing there was no way out for her now. She’d agreed earlier, and now the announcement had been made.

We were officially engaged.

Joe burst into the room before everyone had finished giving their congratulations to Max and me. “It’s a girl!” he yelled, raking his hands through his hair. “A girl.”

“Yes!” Izzy cheered, and raised her arms. “Thank you, God,” she said as she fell to her knees and looked toward the ceiling.

“Congrats, brother.” I held out my hand to him, grabbing his arm. I could see tears in his eyes.

“When can I see her?” Ma asked as she kissed Joe on the cheek.

“They just need a little time and then everyone can go in and see them.”

“Do you have a name, son?” Pop asked as he stood beside Ma.

“Yes. It’s Giovanna Bianca.” He beamed as he said her name. He stood a bit straighter with his shoulders pushed back. The pride he felt at his new title of father was clearly evident.

“Gigi,” Ma whispered. “You named her after my mother.” She covered her mouth as she began to cry.

“We did.” Joe grabbed my ma and stared down at her. “It’s the perfect name for my little Italian princess.”

Joe went into graphic detail describing the birth of his baby girl. At times, I felt faint. I’d seen plenty of crazy shit. Hell, I’d seen things come out of a pussy that weren’t natural, but seeing a human being slide out, even a small one, was just wrong. He gushed over having been able to cut the umbilical cord and how a small piece of him would live on forever.

The entire time he spoke, I held Max’s hand as she listened and seemed totally enthralled. For a woman who didn’t want children, she was mesmerized and hung on every word.

Twenty minutes later, the family was given the go-ahead to see Suzy and Gigi. We let Ma and Pop go back first and spend time with the baby before we went in as a group.

“You doing okay, Max?” I asked as we waited.

“Yeah. I am,” she answered quietly.

“You seem off.” I stroked her hand as we sat side by side in the waiting room.

“I’m not. It’s just…”

“What is it? You know you can tell me anything.”

“Sometimes, I get sad when I think I’ll never be a mother.” She frowned as she stared down at our hands.

“You can be a mother. There’s nothing stopping you, Max.”

“I do not want to pass my bad genes on to a baby.”

I sat there a moment, thinking about what she’d said. I could understand it. No one wants to give their child a life filled with illness. There isn’t a person on the planet that has been guaranteed a lifetime of healthiness. We all experience some type of health issue in our life, whether it be cancer or some other ailment.

“Max, do you wish your parents never had you?” I asked her. It was the only thing I had thought to say.

“No.”

“Have you had a happy life?”

“Yes. For the most part, I have.”

“Even with knowing how your future could turn out, would you want it to end now?”

“No. Stop asking stupid questions.”

“Listen to me. Just because the baby would have a small chance of getting the gene doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be born. If you had said you wished your parents had never had you, then I’d agree with you. But you said you’ve had a happy life and you want to live. Maybe being a mother will bring you more joy than anything else in your life. Maybe you can have a healthy baby.”

She sighed and blew a puff of air through her lips. “I don’t know, Anthony. It’s a big decision. If the baby is born with the gene, I’d feel so guilty.”

“Do you want your parents to feel guilty about your life? Are you mad at them for having had you?”

I didn’t know where all of this was coming from. Six months ago, all I’d cared about was banging my way through life and living in blissful ignorance of love. Now, I was in deep. So far down that I couldn’t imagine a life without Max anymore.

“Of course not.”

“Then why would your baby feel that way about you? If you don’t wish you weren’t born, neither will they, no matter the outcome of their health. Nothing is guaranteed, Max. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow and die.”

“What did you do with my boyfriend?” she asked as she peered up at me.

“Fiancé,” I said. “I don’t know what happened to me. You happened to me and mixed up my head.”

“I kind of miss my asshole sometimes, but times like this, when you’re so sweet and smart, I realize why I love you.”

“Why is that?” I was fishing for a compliment. Max wasn’t always so willing to hand them out. When she was in the mood, I made sure to get as much as I could.

“You have the perfect mix of asshole and lover. Just when I think you’ve hit your asshole streak, you come back saying such beautiful things that you make my heart melt.”

“And what does the asshole do to you? I know it’s that part of me that you were first attracted to.”

“He makes my panties melt,” she whispered, and bit her lip.

“Ahhh. I always knew that girls secretly wanted an asshole.”

I had known it. Even though they all said that they wanted the nice guy, they really wanted a mix. They wanted the asshole in the bedroom, banging their brains out, and the sweet guy the other times. I could be both. Fuck, I had been my entire life.

“I only want one asshole, Anthony.”

“I’m your man, then, Kitty Cat.” I grinned, bringing her hand to my mouth and kissing the top.

“Anthony and Max,” Joe said from the doorway as he watched us. “You want to see Gigi?”

“Hell yes,” I said.

We followed Joe down the hallway past a set of windows behind which little babies slept peacefully in their small plastic beds. They looked so sweet and quiet, but I remembered how loud a baby actually was, since I’d lived through the infancy of my siblings. Izzy had screamed the loudest and most. We should’ve known then that she’d be nothing but trouble.