Without You: Book 1 of the Changing Hearts Series (21 page)

Now that she saw her mom, though, she needed to ask about how they were going to figure out things financially.

“So are you liking the school?” her mom asked with a smile.
 

“I love it,” Ariana said. Which would make it that much more devastating if she couldn’t come here after all. She took a bite of her Philly steak sandwich. “Hmm, this is so good.” She took a sip of her smoothie. “Oh my gosh, this is better. And it’s healthy. Why can’t I eat like this every day?”

She glanced at her mom, who was giving her the look.

She decided it was time to change the topic. Her mom looked back down at her spaghetti and continued eating.
 

“So, Mom. Did they tell you about how much it costs to come here and everything?” She took another bite of her sandwich, enjoying the cheesiness.

“Oh yeah. Almost twenty thousand a year.”

Ariana’s mouth fell open, and she had to cover her mouth quickly with her hand so her food wouldn’t show.
 

“You can’t be serious.” She kept chewing. She guessed it made sense with the dorm, meal plan, books, fees, and tuition.

Her mom nodded. “They’re giving you scholarships, right?”

“I mean, I applied for some yeah, and I should have HOPE because of my grades, but I haven’t really calculated how much I might need after that. It just depends how many scholarships I get.”

Her voice got smaller and smaller with each word she said. It became hard to swallow, and she couldn’t help but sigh and put down her sandwich.

“If you really want to come here, we’ll figure it out. Don’t worry,” her mom said. She looked up at her, but looking at her mom’s eyes, Ariana knew she was saying what a mom should say right now. She just wasn’t sure if her mom truly believed that.
 

Her mom looked down. “We’ll take out a loan every year if we have to.”

“No,” Ariana replied immediately. “It’s way too much, even with your raise. I don’t want to come here if it means you and dad getting into a whole bunch of debt. It’s not worth it.”

“We disagree,” her mom said.

The one up side to not coming to UGA? At least she wouldn’t have to choose between UGA and Lucas.
 

But she knew she’d always wonder.

###

“What’s wrong, babe?” Lucas said. He put his hand on hers as they headed to his house. It was his day off. Her parents had finally said it would be okay to go over there as long his mom was there, and she would be. For a few minutes at least, before she left for work.

She’d left that part out, though. She needed some alone time with Lucas. Or at least as alone as they could get with his two sisters around.
 

She sighed but didn’t really want to talk about it.

“You never really told me about what UGA was like. Did you love it or what?” He had a smile on his face. He truly wanted her to be happy. She could tell from the way he always asked for updates.

“It was awesome,” she replied.
 

“Then what’s up?” he asked. “Is it about…you leaving?”

“A little. It’s just that I don’t even know if I’ll be able to go. It’s kind of expensive, and it just depends on the scholarships I get, if any, because I’m not sure if my parents are gonna be able to afford to help me with much.”

Lucas stared at the steering wheel in front of him after he pulled in to his driveway and turned off the car.

It was quiet for a few seconds before he asked, “Have you asked your parents about it?”

“Yeah. They can help me with a couple thousand maybe, but it wouldn’t be enough. HOPE will cover my tuition, but then there’s the dorm since I have to live there the first year, the meal plan, the fees, gas, and other stuff and I just don’t want them to have to take out a loan or get into serious credit card debt or something.”

More silence from Lucas.
 

“This is one of those times I wish I was a millionaire, so the people I love didn’t have to worry about something as dumb as money.”
 

Ariana smiled, despite her thoughts going a million miles an hour. She squeezed his hand. “This isn’t your fault.”

“I know. I just wish I could help. I don’t really have much saved up. You know if I did—”

Ariana kissed him. Hard.
 

She finally pulled back a minute later. “I could never let you do that. What you do for your family, for your mom and sisters, is amazing.”

She had tears in her eyes now, and if she kept talking, they’d flow down her cheeks. “Like we keep on saying, if it’s meant to happen, it will happen.” She looked at him. “Right?”

He smiled softly. “Right.”

###

“Happy birthday to you,” everyone sang around the table. Jimmy looked around with a goofy smile on his face. “Happy birthday, dear Jimmy, happy birthday to you.”

Ariana’s phone buzzed. It was Lucas.
 

I miss you. Wish I could be there with you.

He had to work all day. He hardly had any days off and worked even more hours than before. Someone had quit, and they were short on people at the clothing store where he worked.
 

“It’s actually a good thing, I guess,” he had said as they talked about it while having lunch a couple weeks before. “I need to save up some money anyway. My mom kinda wanted to take my sisters to the beach this summer, so I can help pitch in. We’ve never been on vacation.”

“When you said you needed to save money, I thought you meant for college in the fall,” Ariana said, putting her fork down.

Lucas sighed. “That too.”
 

Now Ariana’s dad went over to the stereo in the living room and pushed play.
 

Estas son las mananitas…

The equivalent of the birthday song in Mexico began playing. It was one of Ariana’s favorite songs to listen to, but it was really long, and she didn’t know all the words.
 

Her mom squeezed Jimmy’s shoulder and kissed him on the cheek. Ariana playfully bumped into Mayra, who gave her a smile. Ryan looked on politely from the opposite end of the table. It was a given he’d be invited to Jimmy’s birthday every year.
 

When the song was over, they all clapped and cheered.
 

“Que le muerda,” Ariana said, still clapping. Everyone joined her, except for Ryan, who watched and realized what was happening.
 

Ariana went over behind Jimmy.
 

“Take a bite,” Mayra shouted.
 

“Yeah, right,” Jimmy replied, staring behind him at Ariana, who was ready to shove his head into the cake as soon as he let his guard down for the briefest of moments.
 

“I’m protecting you from everyone else,” Ariana said.
 

Jimmy laughed, and Ariana took advantage of his glance towards everyone else.
 

She shoved his face down hard, except his head was turned slightly to the side.
 

It worked, though. Jimmy came back up with over half his face covered in blue and white frosting.
 

“It’s up my nose,” he said, his voice funny. “And my eyebrows.”

Everyone laughed and their mom led him from his seat to the kitchen sink. She heard the faucet come on as she headed back to where Mayra was.
 

They high-fived and looked at the cake. They had only messed up a small part of it.
 

Ariana’s mom came back to the slice the cake and pass pieces around. Ariana went to help her.
 

“This looks so good,” Mayra said, holding her plate. “I love pastel de tres leches. And it has strawberries.” She grabbed a fork and took a seat to dig in.
 

“Ryan, can you put some water bottles on the table for me?” her mom asked as she continued cutting.
 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, walking into the kitchen to grab some from the pack. Ariana handed her dad a small piece. He wasn’t big on sweets.
 

He came back in a second later with a handful of water bottles, and Ariana handed him his piece of cake.
 

“Thanks,” he said, looking at it and walking back to his seat.
 

“I think that’s everyone,” Ariana told her mom. “Just us left.”

Her mom set Jimmy’s piece, the one that had been practically flattened, aside for him.

As they all sat down to eat and talk, Jimmy walked back in.

“You still have some on your chin,” Mayra said with a smile.
 

Jimmy groaned and grabbed a napkin before sitting down. He reached for his plate. “Yes,” he whispered. “My favorite.”

A few minutes later, they were finishing eating. Their mom went to the kitchen to begin cleaning while their dad went outside to have a beer.
 

Jimmy looked in Mayra’s direction and winked. She rolled her eyes but smiled.
 

“This time next year, I’ll have a car and my license. I can’t wait,” he said.

“Good thing I won’t be around then because the roads around here are gonna be a dangerous place to be,” Ariana said.

It was meant to be a joke, but she couldn’t bring herself to even smile. Instead, she swallowed hard to keep the knot in her throat from forming.
 

Not only was she going to give up her current relationship with Lucas for a long distance one, going to UGA meant missing out on Jimmy’s last two years of high school.

###

Ariana stared at the screen in front of her. She had senioritis bad. She had a huge project due the next day for Language Arts, and she still wasn’t done. Not even halfway done. And she still had to work on her DECA project for this year’s competition. She wasn’t even halfway done with that either.

She was supposed to have finished the Language Arts project at least by now, but she kept putting it off. She thought for a minute. This was basically Mayra’s life. Procrastinating even at the very last minute. What had she gotten herself into?

Each person was supposed to pick a book off the teacher’s list (definitely not Hunger Games) and create this huge presentation about it. She had finally finished reading the book yesterday. Why she had picked the longest book on that darned list, she didn’t know.
 

Now it was time to do the presentation, which was basically the hardest part, the actual work, and she couldn’t bring herself to do more than opening PowerPoint.
 

“Gahhh,” she said out loud, mostly to herself. Jimmy was taking a nap in his room, and her mom had let her off the hook from helping with dinner since she had this project. And her dad would be home soon.
 

She stared out her window towards Mayra’s house.

Mayra was actually closer to being finished than she was. If there existed the opposite of senioritis, she had it. She had picked a pretty short book, of course, but had read it pretty quickly. Had actually gotten into it. And was already halfway done with the presentation component. Ariana glanced at the time at the corner of her screen.

7:17 p.m.

She was probably already done by now.
 

She sighed.
 

She moved her finger on the trackpad and navigated to the Internet.
 

A few minutes on Twitter, Instagram, and her email turned into twenty minutes.
 

“Shoot,” she said. And she knew her mom would be done with dinner soon. She was hungry, but then she’d have less time after sitting down to eat.

Just as she was about to exit out for good and get at least the first slide done, she saw an email from a scholarship she’d applied to. The big scholarship.

Her mouth fell open as she read the subject line.
 

Congratulations.
 

“Holy shit,” she said as she clicked. Her heart was already beating about a thousand miles per hour as she tried to make sense of the words in front of her.
 

She had won the scholarship.
 

Just a few days ago, she’d heard from the HSF people who had organized her tour at UGA. She had been awarded a small scholarship from them. One thousand dollars, and she’d have to reapply each year to get it renewed. It had been exciting, but she knew it wouldn’t be nearly enough to get her through college.
 

This was ten thousand dollars each year for four years.
 

Her counselor had recommended her for it, and she’d spent a lot of time filling out the lengthy application, which had to include pictures, recommendations, essays, her family’s financials, and her goals.
 

I guess they liked me, she thought. She smiled as she read the next steps over and over. She couldn’t wait to tell everyone.
 

She took a screenshot and finally exited out. Then she just sat there for a few minutes.

This was really happening. She was going to UGA.
 

She got to work.

Fifteen minutes later, Ariana still felt numb. But also hungry as she walked into the kitchen to wash her hands. Her dad walked in the front door and went into the kitchen. He gave her mom a kiss on the cheek and left to change, patting Ariana on the shoulder as he passed. She opened her mouth to talk but couldn’t.

His clothes were dirty, and he looked tired. “I’m gonna go shower really quick. I’ll be back.”
 

Her mother nodded. “Ariana, go wake up your brother. Tell him it’s time to eat,” her mom said.
 

She nodded and left, trailing after her dad towards the other end of the house.

She knocked on Jimmy’s door and walked in. Only his lamp was on, and he was all bundled up in his comforter. He was snoring a little bit. Ariana sat down on his bed and shook him some.

“Mom said come and eat.”

“Hm,” was all he managed.
 

She tore off the sheets, a smile beginning to make its way onto her face. “Let’s go.”
 

She got up and left, and Jimmy finally rubbed the sleep from his eyes and stood up. He looked like a zombie as he put on a shirt and headed to the bathroom. Ariana shook her head and headed back to the kitchen.