Without You: Book 1 of the Changing Hearts Series (27 page)

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Where was Lucas? Ariana had been waiting half an hour for him to arrive, but so far, nothing. No text. No call.
 

They were supposed to be meeting up to grab something to eat before he ran into work at the mall.
 

If he didn’t get here right this minute, they weren’t going to have time to eat at all.
 

Ariana paced and kept her growling stomach at bay. She had skipped lunch at her house and left to meet Lucas instead. And begged her parents to let her come alone. Her dad had finally agreed.
 

Ariana watched people walking into the fast food place. She hadn’t even asked to go somewhere nice. Just somewhere they could grab something together before he had to get to work.
 

Ten minutes later, there still wasn’t any sign of Lucas, and Ariana was ready to go home.
 

Just as she went to get back in her car, her phone began ringing.
 

No surprise there.
 

She swiped to answer and put the phone to her ear as she got in the car and closed the door.
 

She sighed and said, “Hey.”

“Hey, I’m so sorry,” Lucas said.
 

“Where are you?” Ariana said, hesitating to start her car but trying not to suffocate from the heat.
 

“I’m…barely leaving my house.”
 

Ariana glanced at the clock on her dash. “There is no way you’re going to make it here.”

There was a brief pause before Lucas went on. “I know. I’m heading straight to work.”

Ariana decided not to say anything.
 

“I’m sorry,” Lucas said again. “My little sister got sick, and I had to take her to the doctor. My mom’s car isn’t working since last night, so we’re having to share mine until we can get it fixed. I was gonna call you earlier, I swear, but there was throw up everywhere, and—”

“It’s okay,” Ariana said, turning on the car.
 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m just gonna head home and eat there.”

“All right. Maybe we can meet tomorrow? Oh, but I have to take my mom to work.” Lucas sighed.
 

“It’s okay. Just figure all that out first.”

“Thanks. I hate that this happened. I really wanted to see you.”

“Me too,” Ariana said, pulling out of the restaurant and putting her phone on speaker. “I just feel like I haven’t seen you in ages, and there’s literally like two weeks before I have to leave.”

“I promise you I will figure this out, and I’m going to spend some time with you. Monday is my day off, and I will make sure I get to see you.”

“Okay. I just hate that this summer hasn’t been what we thought it would be. It’s kinda sucked. I mean, if we were going to be going to the same school in the fall, I honestly wouldn’t care…” Ariana had to stop there to swallow hard and keep Lucas from hearing the tears in her eyes.
 

“I get you,” Lucas said. “Believe me, I feel the same way.”

“It’s just not fair,” Ariana said.

###

“Happy birthday,” she whispered in Lucas’s ear. It was a bittersweet day. She and Lucas were finally getting to see each other, but there was less than a week left until she had to leave for UGA.
 

She gave him a peck on the lips since his mom was there but gave him another squeeze before giving his mom a hug as well and then his sisters.
 

They finally went outside to talk and walk around. They began strolling down his street, hand in hand.
 

“You look good today,” she said. He did. She tried not to stare too much, but Lucas looked hot in his cargo shorts and slim-fit t-shirt.
 

“You sayin’ I don’t look good every day?” he asked, a smile forming from the corner of his mouth.
 

“Uh,” she said.
 

“You hesitated,” Lucas said, acting offended.
 

Ariana laughed.
 

They began walking again and Ariana said, “Last week was so crazy. Even with your day off, I didn’t get to see you.”

“I know. Taking the car to the mechanic and getting it back took forever. And my mom needed to run errands before and after.” He shook his head.
 

“I made sure to have Friday afternoon and Saturday morning off, though. I’m gonna need to work a crapload of hours after that, though, to help pay for the mechanic, but I don’t care.”

She’d be leaving Saturday. She had to be at orientation and her dorm by 2:00 p.m. And it’d take her almost two hours to get there.
 

Part of her had wanted Lucas to drive her, but she had decided it would be a hundred times more difficult to say good bye to him at UGA. And her parents and Jimmy had already offered, and it would be wrong to tell them no.
 

Ariana looked down and tried not to think about all of it.
 

“This is really gonna suck, huh?” Lucas asked, his hand holding up her chin. They were far enough away that his mom wouldn’t be able to see them.
 

She nodded, not wanting to talk right now. She didn’t want to cry in front of him.
 

She looked him in the eyes, and he came in for a kiss. A long one but sweet. Like they were telling each other how much they were going to miss each other.
 

A minute later, she said, “I don’t have a gift for you. I honestly didn’t know what to get you. Sorry.”

Lucas hugged her tight. “You’ve been the best present I could ever get. I just want you.”

###

Ariana wheeled her suitcase to her car and adjusted the huge bag on her shoulder.
 

“I’ll take that,” Mayra said, grabbing the bag for her.

Ariana couldn’t even bear to look at her best friend. “Thanks.” Mayra had been just a couple houses down the street for almost as long as she could remember, and now she would be over a two hour drive away.

“You sure you have everything? Phone charger, toothbrush, ID?” her mom asked, walking behind her with another bag.
 

She nodded. Jimmy came out with a couple other bags. That was pretty much it, except for her folded up and packed bed sheets and her favorite desk lamp.
 

Jimmy went back in for them.
 

She looked at the back of her car, at all of the stuff sitting there. It looked wrong. It was supposed to be in her room, not out here.
 

This was really gonna suck.
 

And her dad wasn’t here. He couldn’t get off work, but they had hugged that morning. He’d given her some cash and an emergency credit card.
 

“Well, this is it, then,” Mayra said, her arms falling to her sides.

Ariana finally met her eyes for a second, trying to keep the hurricane of emotions inside her at bay. “Good luck with your new job.” She was gonna miss hearing Mayra talk about working at the local burger place.

Mayra came in for a hug, and Ariana put her arms around Mayra’s neck, closing her eyes.

“This is gonna suck so bad, Mayra,” she said quietly.

“I know,” she replied. That was the first time she hadn’t said how great UGA would be. “But you’re gonna be so glad you did this. You’re gonna come back a completely different person. Better. Just watch.”

They pulled back, and Mayra gave her a smile. “Call me. Like every day. And I’ll do the same. Keep me updated, okay?”
 

Ariana tried not to look at the tears starting to well up in Mayra’s eyes because then her own tears might spill over.
 

All she could do was nod.

Mayra finally turned around and walked back to her house. Ariana watched her the entire time, aching for time to slow down just a little.

Then she saw Lucas’s car pull up. He got out and headed up the driveway.
 

For the first time ever, she didn’t see a smile on his face. An attempt at one, but not a genuine one.
 

And the look in his eyes…it killed her.
 

She met his eyes and walked toward him. She put her arms around his neck, not wanting to let go. But she did eventually.
 

“How do you feel?” he asked after saying hi to everyone. He took her hand and led her a few feet away while Jimmy and her mom went inside to grab their things so they could get going.

She checked her phone. “Okay, I guess. I have to leave in a little bit.”

They had had breakfast together early that morning, but Ariana had come back home to finish packing and Lucas had gone home to let her get her things done.
 

“Last night was fun,” she went on. The movie had been good, but it had been hard to focus. After, though, was what she wouldn’t forget. Ever.
 

She touched his shoulders, his neck, his face, trying to remember the feel of his warm skin from last night.
 

He put his arms around her waist, slipping them underneath her t-shirt. She felt his fingers press down on the small of her back as he put his forehead to hers. Their eyebrows touched, and Ariana got goosebumps. Lucas came in for a soft kiss. She deepened it, wanting more.
 

She heard her mom and Jimmy come back out of the house, and she put her arms around his neck as hard she could. Lucas squeezed her so hard she felt she couldn’t breathe, maybe didn’t want to.
 

She closed her eyes, committing Lucas’s smell to memory.
 

“I love you so much,” he whispered.
 

“I love you too.”

“You’ll be back before you know it, and I’ll go up there. We will make this work. No matter what.”

Ariana nodded, not letting go of him.

Four weeks later, Ariana finally seemed to be getting her groove when it came to college.
 

She and Vanessa, her friend and roommate, arrived at the bus stop, and Ariana grabbed at the straps of her backpack, looking for the East/West bus. She needed to get back to her dorm. Lunch with her friends had been amazing, although she realized from her aching stomach she’d probably eaten too much. She’d walk back to her dorm if it weren’t too far away. Maybe it was time to think about biking to class, she thought as she looked down at the love handle that was forming on either of her sides. Definitely. She smiled, though. She made a note to bring her bike next time she went home to see everyone.

She’d had a hard time adjusting to the college life at first but had finally made a handful of friends, which was crucial on such a huge campus.
 

She still remembered getting on the wrong bus the first day, even though she had done a complete walkthrough of her schedule the day before. Not fun walking in late to class at all. At least the professor hadn’t made a big deal out of it, except for saying hi to her in front of the three hundred person lecture class.
 

“So do you have a ton of reading to do tonight?” Vanessa asked. They were both wearing strappy sandals and shorts with t-shirts. It was sweltering outside. Ariana couldn’t wait to see the campus in the fall.

“Yep. You?”

“Tons. History is killing me.”

Ariana nodded. “Me too.”

“I’m so behind. I heard some people saying the readings aren’t even on the tests.”

“Really?” Ariana replied. “Don’t know if we should risk it, though. We should see what the first test is like first.”

“When is it again?”

“Like two weeks,” Ariana said as the East/West bus pulled up. They got in line to get on.
 

“No freakin’ way. Already?”

“Um, yeah,” she replied, climbing the steps. She walked down the aisle and took one of two empty seats. She chose the one by the window. She liked to people watch. There were several dozen students milling about, walking to class or a dining hall, even the occasional professor or T.A. heading to the next class.
 

She wondered what Lucas was doing right now. She took a deep breath and focused on their last time together, besides saying goodbye. It was still too painful to think about that.
 

Next, she wondered about Jimmy and how his day had been. He was probably gearing up for basketball season with Ryan.
 

That was going to kill her not being able to go to most of his games. She had made a promise to him, though, to make it some of them. She had to.

Mayra. How was she holding up?

She hadn’t talked to her in a few days, even though they’d said they’d talk or text every single day.
 

Same with Lucas.

It hadn’t happened. Between their completely different class schedules, his work, her new friends and making time for studying, and Mayra’s new job. It was impossible to keep up.
 

She had to call them tonight, though. Had to. And her parents. Although she could count on her mom to call every other day at least.
 

She sighed.
 

College was amazing. She never imagined it to be this fun meeting new people, studying together, going to the dining hall at two in the morning, and just learning.
 

But she also never thought it would be this hard leaving everyone behind.

###

“Whatcha thinking’ about?” Vanessa asked.
 

Ariana kept her gaze out the window as they bumped along to their dorm.
 

“Who did you leave behind?” Ariana asked.
 

Vanessa had moved here too. From several hours away, though.
 

“An ex-boyfriend, who I don’t miss,” she emphasized. “And some friends. My family. I keep in touch, but I like it here a lot better.” She could feel Vanessa’s eyes on her. “Do you miss yours? Your family and friends?”

“Yeah. My boyfriend. My brother, my best friend. I didn’t have a lot of friends in high school, but those three are just…”

Vanessa nodded and gave her a half hug as best as she could on the crowded, moving bus. They hadn’t talked a lot about their loved ones before. Just the now.