Withstanding Me (14 page)

“I… I can’t… it hurts…,” she whispers. “I got off early to tell you…”

She needs to keep her eyes open. Dammit!

“Shadow, go fuckin help ZZ. I’m good. Just banged up, nothin broken here.” Smokey croaks, and in no time, Shadow is at my side.

I hear bikes and tires squeal.

“It’s brothers,” Shadow murmurs. “Here I’ll cut the seatbelt; you hold her body up so she doesn’t fall.”

“My foot,” She swallows, her eyes opening just a little. “Is stuck… under the pedal.”

I feel someone reach into my back pocket and snag my riding gloves. I look over my shoulder and see a very shaky Winter. She’s putting on my gloves, and she’s white as a ghost. After she puts them on, she moves to the back seat door, and starts crawling through the broken window. She stops in between the two front seats and looks up towards the pedal.

“Ambulance is on their way,” Winter murmurs while reaching up and untying Storm’s shoe. “Sniper and Pyro are standing alert,” she nods in my direction. “I called Braxx; he’s gonna try to get home as quick as he can.”

None of this seems fuckin real right now. It’s like I’m in some kind of fucked up nightmare.

“ZZ,” Winter snaps.

“What?”

“Shadow needs you to hold onto her tight. I’m gonna hold her upper body up and help lower her into your arms. Don’t fuckin drop her. She’s free of the seatbelt.” She grits her teeth.

I don’t argue with her and say I’m already holding up Storm. I’m a fuckin mess and Winter senses it.

“One… Two… Three,” Winter counts as she starts lowering the bottom half of Storm’s body. As Shadow helps me pull Storm freely outta the car, Winter starts coming out with her legs. Strom’s head ends up in my lap and her legs into Winter’s.

“Shadow go help Smokey,” Winter directs.

I look over at Shadow because Winter shouldn’t have to be directing him, and see his line of sight. I look towards Storm’s legs and see the blood staining through her jeans.

“We live in such a fucked up world.” He curses, getting up to go help Smokey.

Storm cries out, her hands shakily moving to her stomach while her eyes remain shut. I look towards the sky and grip my cross with one of my hands. I feel two fingers direct my chin back down.

“ZZ, she’ll be okay.”

“No, no she won’t Winter.” I croak out. “Not after this.”

How the fuck could she be okay after this? I try to jerk my chin away, and Winter’s grip tightens on my face.

“She’ll be okay. She’ll get mad, ZZ. She’ll get so fuckin mad; her life, her safety will depend on that anger. Do you get what I’m saying to you?”

“FUCK!” I roar and immediately regret it because Storm whimpers. “I’m sorry, I’m so fucking sorry.” I whisper stroking her hair from her bloodied face.

“Where are those fucking EMT’s?” Winter starts cursing.

***

Chapter 18

Storm

When I woke up in the hospital stiff as hell, I already knew. I already knew I had lost the baby. Call it a mother’s intuition, even though I wasn’t a mother yet. I knew. ZZ hasn’t left my side. In fact, when the doctors were explaining that I underwent a D&C, he held my hand the entire time. I cried; hell, did I cry. But somethings are just out of our control. Something’s are meant to be, and some aren’t. And unfortunately for me, this was one of those
aren’t
times. I’m not angry. Well okay, that’s a lie. I’m fuckin pissed. Those men were out to kill me and killed half of me instead. Am I gonna turn into a blubbering mess? No. I’ve went through so much bad shit that if I let it control my life, I wouldn’t be living one. I chose to live this life. When Braxxon and Winter found me and offered to send me home free of cost, I chose to stay here. I’d rather be with this family then the family I grew up with. This is the life I’ve chosen for myself, and this is the life I’m gonna live. I’m sure someone from outside lookin in on our world would chastise and criticize us for choosing to live this way and that’s okay; that’s their opinion. The truth people, is that this world isn’t all sunshine, flowers, and rainbows. The people criticizing us and mocking us are just fuckin blind. Blind to it all. Not one inch of this earth has a place that’s perfect. Perfect is a word that some idiot made up to describe a fairytale. And me? I don’t have time for fuckin fairytales. I don’t have time for perfect. I’m not stupid. I won’t waste my time, my life on searching for a damn fairytale. Life is way too short for that shit. All I can do is live the happiest I can with the people I love and I’ll make that my fucking fairytale. That’ll be my
perfect.

I reach over and run my sore hand through ZZ’s hair. He’s awake. I can feel it. But his eyes are focused on the door while his head rests on my bed.

***

ZZ

I dare a motherfucker to come through that door. I fuckin dare them. I’m so fucking angry. So fuckin angry, I can’t see straight. She didn’t deserve this shit. She didn’t deserve to have something so new taken from her. And through all that anger, Pyro’s words keep replaying over and over in my head.

“Because she wants you and you want her. That fuckin simple brother. One day, all the decisions you’ve ever made about staying away from her are gonna eat your insides all fuckin up. One day you’re gonna regret it and one day you’re gonna be pissed you didn’t take advantage of that time.”

Fuck if he wasn’t right. Because maybe if I didn’t have my head in my ass when it came to Storm, we wouldn’t be in this damn hospital room, and I wouldn’t be pissed off that we lost our baby. It’s time to grow up and be a fuckin man. Men have fuckin emotions too. I’ve gotta stop being such a pussy when it comes to her. I close my eyes and take a deep breath in when I feel her fingers running through my hair. I’ve been quiet. I don’t know how to act around her. She just lost our damn baby. What the hell do I say to her?

I slowly turn my head to look at her while her fingers continue stroking my hair. I’m still alert. My right hand between my legs still grips my fuckin gun.

“Whatcha over there thinkin about?” She tries to smile.

She had to ask that. And she deserves the truth right now and so much fuckin more.

“I’m thinkin… I’m done wastin time.”

She laughs. “What in the world are you talking about?”

“Somethin Pyro said to me once.” I sit up and lean on my left arm, staring straight at her. “He said that I’d regret not taking advantage of the time I have with you.”

I watch as her smile turns into confusion and then her face contorts in anger. “I don’t want a pity boyfriend, Mason.” She growls removing her hand from my head. I snatch it before she can drop it away.

The door opens, snapping my attention away. My gun is in the face of someone that I want to strangle for interrupting my conversation.

“Jesus! They let you in here with that thang?” The gay nurse of my nightmares twiddles, carrying a bag of food.

I smirk, lowering my gun. “Do you think they’d try stopping me?”

He shrugs. “Here sugar, brought you some fattening food. It’s better than what this shithole makes. But I have an ulterior motive if you want this food.”

Storm laughs. It’s only been a day since the accident. She’s already laughing and smiling, and it isn’t because of me, and that shit burns my soul on fire.

“What do you want from me handsome?” She says reaching for the bag of food. I sigh, get up, and wheel her tray over.

“I wanna know if this here beast is just that good.”

“What do you mean?” she smirks.

“The fucker knocked you up first go around.”

Too fuckin soon. Too fuckin soon for that shit. I’m about to put a bullet into his head when I look over at Storm and see her contemplating what he just said.

“Or maybe I’m just that fertile.” She jokes.

What the hell? This is not somethin to be sharing or joking about.

“Oh, I like you darlin,” he smiles, handing her the bag of food and turning his head towards me. “Go get the beauty something to drink. I’ve gotten her food; make your sexy self useful.”

Who the fuck does this joker think he is? “Don’t you have work to do? Like harass other patients or somethin?” I growl.

“I came in early after the gossip told me all about the man of my dreams being back in the hospital.”

I groan, and Storm loses her shit and starts laughing uncontrollably.

The pop machines are just around the corner, so I place my gun on the tray table in front of Storm and walk out to get her something to drink. Really? It’s just so I don’t kill that motherfucker. After grabbing her a cold cola, I come back into the room and their laughing together as she eats her fries. She looks so fuckin happy.

“He really has a Jacob’s ladder?”

What the fuck? I was gone two seconds!

“He does.” Her head moves up and down quickly.

I slam the pop down on the tray table and pick up my gun, shoving it in the back of my jeans. Really, I just want to remind this fucker about who I am.

“You’re makin my fantasies eat me alive, darlin,” he teases her.

“Keep me and my cock outta your fuckin mind!” I growl.

“No can do. She’s already let the cat outta the bag, or shall I say the ladder off the fire engine. So many analogies I can use here. Oh this is perfect. Okay gorgeous, I gotta get to work. If you need anything, page me and I’m here.”

Finally, I think but really, I say it out loud and earn a scowl from both of them. Storm thanks him for the food and I cringe when he leans down to kiss her cheek. I watch him with a growl as he leaves.

I take a seat. Storm all but yells at me as she eats. “He’s leaving you know. He’s got a boyfriend in New York. He’s lonely here, no need to be an asshole!”

“I didn’t even know you knew him.”

“I don’t really.” She shrugs. “He said hi to me the last time I was in here for my leg. He’s a good person. Is Smokey and Rap okay?”

Dammit. I don’t wanna talk about other fuckin people right now. “Rap’s got two broken legs, Smokey’s just banged up.”

She nods and seems happy knowing that.

“Back to our earlier conversation.”

She drops her food. “What do you want, ZZ?”

I hate when she says my road name like that. I like when she uses my real name when we’re alone, and the fact that she used my road name means I need to tread lightly and carefully.

“I want to try.”

How else do I say that or put that? Fuck, she looks beautiful even though her face is all cut and bruised up. Dammit, stay focused you idiot.

“What the fuck does that even mean?” she yells, causing the heart monitor to start beeping loudly, and that little fucker comes over the bed intercom.

“Don’t get her riled up again. Sexy biker or not, I’ll boot your ass outta here.”

And he’s gone just like that.

“What he said.” Storm points to the speaker as she unclips the heart monitor from her finger, causing me to smirk.

“I want to try as in… shit, an us. I want there to be an us.”

“Mason,” she sighs sadly. “Just because I got pregnant and lost our baby doesn’t mean you have to feel obligated to be with me. I’m okay, really. It’s life. It happens. It was early on. I’d barely gotten used to the idea.”

She’s killing me here. I had minutes of the idea of her being pregnant with my kid, and I’m fuckin ripped up about it.

“I don’t get it,” I say turning away.

“Don’t get what?”

I look back at her. “How you can be so okay with this shit. It’s fucked up, Apple. It’s seriously fucked up. Even I fuckin know that!”

“It could’ve been worse, Mason. I could’ve been farther along, could’ve already heard the heartbeat, could’ve already knew the sex of the baby, already seen an ultrasound. I was lucky. I’m a lucky woman to not know that heartbreak. That’s how!”

I gulp, realizing she’s right, but I still want her, and she’s not fuckin understanding me.

“I still want to try. All this fucked up shit aside. I do really wanna try Storm. Just let me try, please.”

“Do you even know what being in a relationship entails?”

A little bit…

“Yeah, I can’t fuck anyone else.” I try to smile and immediately stop.

“See!” She screeches.

“Look, I know what it means okay. Devotion, it takes a lot of devotion. I watched my ma and dad. Do you think Phil ever cheated on Berry? Hell no he didn’t. Why the fuck do you think this shit is scary to me? Living up to being the man he was towards my ma, that shit is scary as fuck! He made it work, I can make it work. He’d attend parties, rides, got fucked up, but he still always made it home to my ma. I can try to do that. I will try my fuckin hardest to do that.”

“Mason,” she whispers.

“Please,” I beg. Fuck, what is wrong with me?

“Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she smiles.

Chapter 19

Storm

Two Days Later…

I was released from the hospital this morning. I took one look in a mirror and cringed. I look absolutely dreadful. I look like a blue and black polka dotted clown. I can’t believe ZZ was all about trying to make things work, especially with me looking like this. But even after I thought about myself that way, he somehow made it better because we’re lying on my bed in the new club building talking.