Wolf Asylum (5 page)

Darwin sat on a stainless steel stool watching the arm twitch in anticipation. For hours he had sat in utter silence watching and waiting for his friend to awaken. He enjoyed watching him in his restless slumber.

For six months torture had been inflicted on the man known as Teddy Holmes, and inside Darwin was the simple truth that he had begun to enjoy his time with Teddy. It wasn't the act of mutilation that was done as atonement for atrocities against Steve he enjoyed—at least not anymore; Darwin would never let up on the punishment he had to deliver in Steve's absence—what was enjoyable was the bond that Darwin and Teddy had begun to develop during their time together.

Darwin's first parade into human tenderizing now seemed like a dream. Years of harassment and bullying began with this one person. He relished in the chance for payback and to bring some justice for Steve. But the dream never seemed to be fulfilled.

The act of snapping the leg off of Teddy had been enjoyable enough, and eating the flesh brought insurmountable pleasure with it. His nemesis had become his passion. It was the story in the blood that held him back.

When Darwin visited Teddy for the second time they only talked…or rather Darwin talked. Teddy lay on the gurney furious at his situation, but his ears had been opened. The plan was to distress Teddy with the threat of more dismemberment without actually doing it. Darwin only hoped that Teddy would open up and shed light on the story he had seen in the blood.

After the third visit Darwin opted not to say anything to Teddy, instead he gave him the opportunity to speak. Teddy had remained quiet for several hours but he eventually broke down, admitting to Darwin that he hated what he had done to Steve. In fact, Teddy had gone further than Darwin had ever expected.

Teddy admitted to Darwin that he felt nothing but shame and guilt for what he had done. He had demonized Steve, like any young man would have in the situation. It had to be done to protect his own, dark secret. Steve had ejaculated spontaneously all over Teddy during a chance collision in the high school shower. Teddy was older, muscular and good looking. An over flow of hormones with the tiniest bit of pressure during the skin to skin impact and it had been enough to set Steve off.

If anyone had found out that Teddy was secretly excited by the incident, his fate would have been sealed as well.

Teddy wasn't gay, but he was bisexual, and he had already fooled around with several guys at Ridgemount at the time of the Steve incident. It was a secret he had to protect at all costs, and Steve's public event had to be chastised the moment it occurred; to show no remorse or pity to the young man. It was the only way to ensure his public standing and to maintain his own lie.

It was despicable, and yet Darwin understood.

Teddy had come close to killing himself several times and had the scars to prove it. The last arm remaining was like a historical record. Scars that stood out across his wrist were evident but there was also a large wound that ran up his arm…a true sign that he had wanted to end it. Teddy admitted it wasn't just solely having to do with Steve, but it was a large part of it. He hated himself for that.

In the months following the first amputation, the lack of torture and the abundance of talk had begun to change the dynamics between the two. They began to respect each other. Darwin shared his stories and Teddy shared his. On occasion, they had a laugh or two together.

Darwin had always intended to finish the job despite the growing bond between the two. The mid afternoon chats were just a break from the work that needed to be done. As it happened, Darwin found the conversations insightful, much like his own graveside chats with Steve. The connection was becoming a distraction and deep inside Darwin wondered if he was becoming soft in his approach to Teddy. That question went away when Teddy himself requested Darwin to continue his punishment.

His desire for suicide had thrown Darwin off, but it had been sincere. Teddy was prepared to hand himself over; he was satisfied in his end. Darwin complied with the request and after months of delaying, he tore the first arm off, which actually bothered him. Darwin was superior to Teddy but by consuming him he felt like he was killing a part of Steve, and someone who had the same issues, but was better at hiding it.

After the first arm was gone Darwin left Teddy for weeks before returning to eliminate the last leg. It was the remaining arm he could not face because it meant a pending end to their time together. It had been nearly two months since his last visit to hallway Ten, Room One at Special Projects, and the guilt was mounting. He felt sick for not coming to see Teddy, but he also felt ashamed for lying to Steve, or at least telling half truths. Darwin had neglected to mention that he had grown fond of Teddy as a person and that eating him was becoming more and more difficult.

“I was wondering if you were ever coming back,” Teddy asked Darwin who was zoned out looking at the floor blankly.

“Hi, I hope I didn't wake you,” Darwin replied politely.

“You should have, watching me sleep is kinda creepy,” Teddy said with a smirk.

Darwin shot back , “and waking you up to eat you isn't?”

“Touché!” Teddy replied.

“Teddy, I've been thinking. How do you see this ending?”

Teddy waved his right stump around. “Keep doing what you're doing, I guess. I thought we agreed it had to be done.”

“You asked me to. Why did you want me to do that?”

“I'm a bad person, a coward! I see that now. I guess I always knew that, why else would I have tried to kill myself?”

“I've enjoyed our talks and getting to know you has helped me to quell some of my own demons—”

“I still deserve to die! Don't you forget that!” Teddy interrupted in a shout.

Darwin looked into the watery eyes of his subject, “I wish you had been stronger. If only you had reached out to Steve then maybe things could have been different. I just don't know if continuing is serving a purpose. I know you're repentant, and I believe you when you say you are filled with guilt.”

Teddy demanded, “how is letting me live honoring the memory of your friend? You should have no compassion for me! Steve is all that matters to you, don't you forget that. I was wrong, in everything. I was a coward! Bruce and I did this to you! We crushed your spirit. We took away your chance for happiness…all to protect our own damn shame! How many jocks wrestle because they enjoy grinding against another guy? I bet most of them! We were a bunch of fucking hypocrites! What I did to you two…it was wrong.”

Teddy paused, almost panting, “the worse thing was…I knew it was wrong—but I did it anyway! In a way, the torment I saw happen to you guys reinforced why I tormented you. I was afraid to give up my privileged life and risk becoming the bullied. The shit part of it all is…had I come out…I bet it would have been fine. I was popular, good looking, strong…I wonder what would have happened if I had been stronger, proved to others they weren't alone, life for all of us might have been better. I was a fucking coward! So I'm damn fucking sure you're going to continue with my punishment.”

Darwin replied calmly, “are you sure it's the punishment you want, or an end to your suffering?” Darwin replied.

“Do whatever you must do,” Teddy huffed.

“Did you know there's a name for what's going on here?” Darwin asked.

“What do you mean?”

“This right here, you and me. We were adversaries and now we're like an old married couple. There's a name for it; it's an actual syndrome. It's called the Stockholm syndrome. It's where the hostage begins to relate to the captor, and hostage actually becomes supportive of the captor and the cause. You really should hate me for everything I've done to you, but yet you don't. It's really quite strange. I was just wondering if this was your way of asking me to end your suffering.” Darwin suggested.

“What about your suffering; when does it end?” Teddy asked in disgust.

Darwin replied simply, “I'm an immortal, I control an entire population, I decide who lives and who dies, and I can do whatever I want.”

Teddy smirked at that. “You have no one to love you. Cindy couldn't stand you, I know her well enough to say that. She thought you were a good fuck, but that was about all. You could never be what she wanted. You were too obsessed with Steve. You think she didn't pick up on that? You deny yourself happiness and for what? I've fucked a lot of people over the years, male and female. The only one I was truly in love with was Bruce, but it took me years to admit that. We had fun together. I fell into the trap of this town and molded myself into what I thought was expected of me. The jock had to have a beautiful girlfriend—a wife eventually—and then kids. I could have done it, but I didn't want to and that's why I dragged my feet after high school. I would have been happier with Bruce, but I refused to be that person publicly, and now you're doing the same.” Teddy finished in disgust.

Darwin replied returning his eyes to the ground, “life has denied me the opportunity to explore what could have been. At least you had that chance and chose to walk away from it. I never had that choice.”

“I hate being cliché, but there are other fish in the sea,” Teddy offered.

“Is there another Bruce?” Darwin replied.

“Maybe, but I'll never know unless I look…which seems to be out of the question for me…but for you, another Steve may exist in this world.”

Darwin asked the room as though he was speaking to himself, “even if everything had gone the way I had wanted it to…how would it have been received?”

Darwin looked at Teddy, focused. “Why are we afraid to be who we are…because we're taught to sit down and shut up? Yes we do, just so a handful of religious nuts can keep their perfect image of a world that doesn't really exist. I was cruel because I was bigger and stronger; I could do that and hide what I was, what I am. Steve and you were small with little chance to hide it. You got dealt a shit hand. We created our own personal hells because other people demanded it. I think we might be surprised how most people could care less who you fuck. With that said, it doesn't excuse what I did, or how I did it. I'm the worst kind of person because I helped create you-an angry and astringent monster who is bent on death and destruction. I am guilty.” Teddy confessed.

“You think I'm bent on destruction?” Darwin asked, surprised.

“Aren't you? A death camp, undesirables, Special Handling…anyone you don't like is disposed of.” Teddy was shocked this was news to him.

Darwin spoke philosophically as he wandered the room, “I'm actually trying to create a world that is free of drug addicts, assaults, senseless violence, racism…if you can think of something wrong with this world I'm trying to fix it. Maybe I've been too heavy handed, but you should see what New Haven has become. Believe me, you wouldn't recognize it. As for the camp, we're werewolves; we need human flesh to eat. I wasn't random in the selection of who dinner was, and who was a guest. Would it have been any more palatable if it had been random? Targeted murder or random, isn't it all the same?”

Teddy said, “You're looking out for your people. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.”

“Was that Marx?” Darwin asked.

“No, Vulcan philosopher Surak, but it is most notably quoted by Spock in
Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
.” Teddy chuckled.

Darwin laughed. “You Trekkie fag!”

“Insults are highly illogical” Teddy shot back with a hint of sarcasm under his tongue.

“Okay Mister Spook, that's enough!” Darwin said, still chuckling himself.

“It's Spock!” Teddy barked back, beginning to laugh harder.

“Whatever! Geeze, beam me up anytime,” Darwin said, returning to his stool.

“You're telling me you never watched an episode of
Star Trek
in your entire life?”

“No,” Darwin said bluntly.

“Don't tell me you're a
Star Wars
dork?”

“Suck my force, you Trekkie bitch!” Darwin spouted off in defense.

Teddy replied in a Yoda-sounding voice, hoping to poke Darwin a little more. “I knew it! Brain little, this one has.”

“Oh, so you know Master Yoda?” Darwin said, quickly reversing the game.

“It's not difficult to sound retarded!” Teddy replied.

“Ouch! That hurt!” Darwin grasped his chest, laughing as he did so. “I guess there are no werewolves in
Star Trek
?”

“No, none come to mind. They did have a shape-shifter in a
Next Generation
episode. She wasn't really a werewolf, but she could change into some kind of hairy monster. Why?”

Darwin asked, serious now, “When we were younger, didn't you ever want to be something supernatural—a vampire or a werewolf?”

Teddy looked up at the ceiling. “I guess I did like some of the vampire flicks. The geeky friend in
Fright Night
who becomes a vampire, I always wanted to be that guy. Never gave it much thought in being a werewolf.”