Authors: T. S. Joyce
Tags: #Romance, #Fantasy, #Werewolves & Shifters, #Paranormal, #Literature & Fiction
I might be lacking in other ways, but I was going to love that woman until my last breath. She’d grow old knowing what it was to be adored by a man.
Kristina
“There,” Trudy said as she bit the last stitch on the cream and bluebonnet colored floral fabric. “What do you think?”
“It’s beautiful,” I gushed.
On the inside, however, I was so nervous my knees quaked. I liked to think of myself as a brave person, but five day healed burns being shoved into a dress for the first time sounded about as much fun as jumping back into the fire that caused them.
Trudy spat out the thread. “Stop worrying. I told you I made it looser on that side so it won’t rub you as badly, and I’ll be gentle putting it on. You need to get back into a dress to lift your spirits and going out today will get your mind off waiting on your man.”
As she said that, I was sitting in the rocking chair closest to the window, and every few seconds I would glance out of it with an obnoxious little balloon of hope that deflated as soon as I figured out no one was there. Maybe she was right.
Trudy reached for the bandages on my neck. “You finally ready to look? The faster you look, the faster you’ll accept it.”
I pouted testily. Avoiding that area of my body at all costs was something I was actually good at. “Fine.”
She handed me a mirror and I put it up in front. I winced at the redness. My skin had blistered and smudged together in places, like thick clay I used to sculpt little animals out of during my youth. And on top of it all was a layer of scabbing that was starting to itch.
“You ain’t even looking at the good part. Here.” Trudy pulled the curtains closed and latched the door before pulling my nightdress over my head. It hurt to lift my arm on that side, but my mobility was improving.
“Why’re you smiling?” I asked suspiciously.
Trudy held up the mirror for me to see. “I’m just glad you’re finally looking is all. It looks a lot better than I thought it would.”
“That makes one of us,” I grumbled. The burn on my neck was bad, but the slash of burned skin down my ribcage and on the back of my arm was atrocious. “Good thing I quit whoring.”
Trudy’s eyebrows knitted together as she pressed on an area with some swelling. “Why do you say that?”
“Because I’d starve to death if I had to support myself by selling this body. Men have lots of fetishes, Trudy. Bedding a hideous burn victim isn’t one I’ve ever heard of.”
“Oh, stop your belly achin’. It could’ve been much, much worse.”
I thought about the whip lashes across her back. She was right and I grabbed her hand. “Are you sure you want to eat at Cotton’s on your one day off?”
She smiled. “Of course I do. It’ll do you good to sit among other people for a while. Now, I think your burns need air more than anything. After these bandages, we need to start letting them out. No more salves except for an ointment I’ll give you to help with the scarring, all right?”
“Fine by me. That poultice smells rancid.”
She ducked down to check the length of my hem. “It’s the possum fat.”
Gross. Trudy bandaged me enough to shield my side and arm from rubbing against the fabric, but left my neck exposed. When I asked why she left that one out, she said it was good for the town’s people to get used to the way I looked.
My legs were a bit weak under me from disuse over the past week. In an attempt to steer clear of the laudanum, I’d had to stay motionless to limit the pain. The air was crisp against my exposed injury and Trudy and I made matching high button boot prints across the walkway to Cotton’s. The eatery was bustling, as always, with nary an open chair to be had.
Trudy made a clucking sound behind her teeth. “I told Elias to get here early and save us a seat.”
“Ms. Kristina,” a booming voice hailed from the corner. Sheriff Hawkins waved for us to join him. Trudy and I shared a wide-eyed glance.
Trudy recovered from the shock first and pulled me by my good hand through the maze of chairs and tables. A woman in a daffodil yellow dress with light hair and deep blue eyes beamed up at us. While the sheriff scooted down the bench seat to make room for us, the woman offered her delicate, gloved hand.
“I’m Daisy Hawkins. Eugene’s my husband and he’s told me so much about you.”
I gave her fingers a gentle shake, then took the seat beside her with a grateful smile.
Eugene leaned forward and raised his voice over the crowd. “I’m mighty glad to see you healing up. You looked pretty banged up last I saw you.” He pointed to my neck. “Looks like it’s been a rough week.”
I put my hand lightly over the marred skin and tried to stop the heat rising in my cheeks.
“Don’t do that,” Daisy said quietly, pushing my hand out of the way. “Eugene told me what you did. You’re a brave woman who’s earned those scars, so don’t you cover them up.”
I didn’t know Daisy from Adam, but I liked her.
Trudy had been right, as she was about lots of things. It was good for me to get out and socialize with other people. My spirits had already lifted with the relief of not obsessing over when Luke would come to take me home, so when he came through the door of Cotton’s, I was in the middle of a conversation about the likelihood of the railroad sending a connecting track to Colorado Springs. His presence was so unexpected, surely I was imagining him.
“Luke?” I whispered.
His head snapped right to me and such a delicious smile took over his face, it melted my insides. Hells bells, that man was a beautifully built and masculine creature.
Some of the patrons stopped talking and stared at him, but he seemingly didn’t notice. His eyes didn’t waver from mine as he made his way through the winding pathway to get to our table. He greeted everyone at our table warmly before straddling the bench beside me. His legs surrounded me and brought the warmth and safety I’d been desperate for since he’d left.
“Hey,” he breathed.
“Hey, yourself.”
He traced a finger over the marring on my neck and said, “You’re a sight for sore eyes, woman.”
His legs pressed against my knees and back and I couldn’t take my eyes from his lips. I’d never wanted a man more than Luke Dawson. His smile was crooked and knowing and he leaned into my neck and spoke in a velvet stroke against my ear. “I have a surprise.”
“What is it?” I whispered.
“Circuit preacher’s in town.”
I gasped. “Don’t you tease me, Luke Dawson, or so help me I won’t be a pleasant woman to live out your days with.”
The look on his face was pure elation. “I swear it. I’ve already talked to him and he’s willing to do a ceremony today. He’s leaving tomorrow for a funeral, but today he’s ours.”
I squeaked and hugged Luke around the neck. I didn’t care about the pain. He was finally going to be mine, and I’d be his. The diners around us went quiet and watched us with curious expressions. Right, I was being inappropriate in front of mixed company. I grinned helplessly at Trudy and Luke cleared his throat.
“It seems that today’s our wedding day. Circuit preacher is in town and Kristina will be takin’ my last name this evening. Anyone care to witness?”
Luke took my hand under the table as Trudy, Elias, Daisy and Sheriff Hawkins congratulated us. The rest of the diners couldn’t care less, but the people who mattered were all smiles.
“What all do we have to do for a wedding?” I asked. One day sure didn’t seem a lot of time to plan something.
“I don’t know. I never thought I’d be doing one of these,” he admitted.
Trudy leaned forward over the swell of her belly. “Food. We need to cook a meal to celebrate. Even if it’s just a few people witnessing, you can’t have a wedding without some good food.”
“Is this all right to wear?” I’d meant the question for Trudy, but I looked at Luke while I said it. I wanted him to think me pretty on our wedding day, because I was sorely convinced he’d be disappointed in the way I looked on our wedding night.
His finger traced the outline of the blue and cream print. “That dress suits you perfect.”
“Where’re you planning on getting hitched?” Daisy asked.
“I’d always imagined it under that big tree out in front of the cabin,” I said.
“It’s a hanging tree now,” Luke said somberly. He rubbed his healing neck. “Takes the romance out of it.”
“It’s where we saved each other,” I argued. “Let’s steal the romance back.”
The smile on his face faded slightly but returned when I arched my eyebrow and didn’t admit to teasing. I was determined.
“Okay,” he said. “Let’s do it up at our place. It won’t be nothin’ fancy, but it’ll be memorable.”
****
On account of the cold, the ceremony would be short. Wind swirled lazily, lifting tiny twisters of snow across the clearing, and the lanterns that hung from the hanging tree rocked gently in a tiny celebration of the tradition destined to overpower the blood soaked earth beneath.
The bearskin cloak was warm around my shoulders and the green in Luke’s eyes had never been brighter as the preacher, a squat but powerfully voiced man, talked about the importance of our union.
He read scripture and we repeated simple vows. Luke’s warm hands were protective over mine, cradling them like he’d never let anything happen to me again, and the seriousness of his voice when he said his own words of devotion were enough to bring steady tears to my eyes. I hadn’t come to this land looking for love, only protection, and by some small miracle I’d received both.
There wasn’t any pain as I stood here in the frosted January evening, drinking in the power that seemed to cascade from my lover’s skin. He was mine, and the rightness of him beside me, touching me, was overwhelming. I couldn’t help but smile at Trudy’s sweet sniffles from behind.
My heart was breaking in the best of ways, too.
“You may now kiss your bride,” the preacher said.
The happiness in Luke’s eyes was almost tangible. He brushed my cheek with his thumb. Leaning forward, he pressed his lips to mine. His jaw worked as he caressed my mouth, and when he slipped his tongue against mine, I melted into him.
How could a man be so hardened that he broke his bones every few days, but still kiss in such a gentle way? Ignoring my burns, I threw my arms around him, bearskin cloak and all and nibbled his bottom lip. A contented growl reverberated against his chest, and he plunged his tongue past my lips again, deeper this time. I was going to burn up with the delicious taste of my mate. His hand on my neck pulled me closer, like he couldn’t get enough of the taste of me either.
I pulled away, dizzy and laughing at the hootin’ and hollerin’ carrying on behind us. As the tiny crowd advanced to congratulate us, I knew I’d never had a moment as happy as the one I was standing in right now.
One by one, we untied the lanterns from the tree and made our way as a group to the barn. The crook of Luke’s arm was warm and the perfect fit for my hand, like it’d been made with me in mind.
The barn had all new reinforced wood around the bottom half of it, and a small hearth had been built against the back wall. Lanterns were hung every ten feet on old nails that had held dozens of lights before. Trudy and Daisy had helped me set up a table of food near the doorway and benches were hauled in and placed in front of the stalls. The animals chewed their own dinner and watched us curiously.
We descended on the food like a pack of hungry vultures. Trudy, miracle worker that she was, managed to secure the dinner from the kitchen of Cotton’s. The stove had already been started there and the recipes were easier to make in the bigger space, so we paid her a dollar and a half and got the best meal in town.
Roasted beef, chicken, mashed potatoes, red beans, creamed corn, and buttered rolls followed by an apple pie to cut the grease. Plates were cleaned until the scraping of forks and spoons could be heard against the metal of the dishes. The barn was warm but it wasn’t all due to the hearth. There was something about good conversation and merriment between growing friends that made me forget about the cold creeping in through the cracks.
The preacher left first, followed shortly by Daisy and Sheriff Hawkins, and then Elias and Trudy. In a move that shocked me, Jeremiah shouldered a leather bag and headed for his mounted horse.
“Where will you stay?” I asked.
“I’ve set up a shelter way back in the woods. A tent of sorts with a wood floor. It’ll keep the weather out fine. My wedding gift to you is giving you some space,” he said with a wink. He kissed me on the cheek. “Welcome to the family, Mrs. Dawson.”
The name gave me chills. I was a Dawson now, and it meant so much more that I even thought it could. Luke’s smile was proud and he kissed me on the forehead as Jeremiah patted him roughly on the back.
“You done good,” he said before he pulled the barn door open and disappeared into the snowy night.
I wrung my hands together. Everyone was gone and Luke would expect me to perform my wifely duties. I had other plans though. Plans that housed the potential to make him very angry.
And an angry werewolf was a deadly werewolf.
Kristina
Trembling hands gave away my fear. The dishes clattered against each other like the earth shook under my feet, and Luke slid in behind me and steadied my fingers with his own.
“Hey,” he said quietly. There was a worried little frown in his voice. “I’m not going to hurt you.”
“I’m scared you’ll be mad.” Could werewolves hear a lie?
“Talk to me. What’s wrong?”
“I don’t think I’m well enough to bed you tonight.” Did my voice drip enough with self-deprecation?
Slowly, his hands spun me until my cheek was against his chest. “Your heart is racing. It sounds like the wings of some tiny bird. If you don’t think you’re healed enough, I don’t want to push it. We have our whole lives for that. Waiting another week won’t kill us.” His eyebrows lowered. “Is this about the wolf? I won’t be like that when we’re together. I won’t even talk about that part of me. We’ll keep it separate. We’ll pretend I have to go tend the cattle for the night when I have to leave.”
“Can we pretend tonight?” I asked.
“I…I guess I don’t understand.”
“If I can’t bed you, I don’t want to sleep next to you. It’ll be a torture for us both. Jeremiah said you haven’t changed since that first morning you were back so you’re overdue.”
“You want me to leave you on our wedding night?”
“You haven’t seen the rest of my burns,” I pleaded. I’d say anything to get my way. “I want to be alone tonight. That’s what I wish for my wedding gift.”
The abundant hurt that swam in his eyes made me sick to my stomach. I’d caused it, but the pain was necessary.
His look grew faraway as lantern light flickered in the reflection of his gaze. His mouth was set in a grim, unhappy line, one that clashed with his natural features. “If that’s what you really want, I’ll do it.”
“It is.” My voice broke on the words.
The corners of his eyes tightened and he angled his head, like he’d heard something bitter. Without another word, he grabbed his coat and headed for the front.
“Wait.”
He turned slowly.
“I know you like your routine. Please stay in here. I’ll wait outside and open the door for your escape when you’re finished.”
“Kristina, I can’t ask you to stand out in the cold like that. It’ll take me a long time tonight because I wasn’t mentally prepared for a change.”
“Please,” I pleaded. “I’m begging you. It’s the least I can do after my request.”
His sigh tapered into a growl, and his eyes shone from within like the wolf was already plotting his escape. I grabbed my thick cloak and opened the door.
“Kristina,” he said in a gruff voice. “Look up in the loft while I’m gone.” He turned without so much as a smile and headed for the back stall.
Outside, I pressed my back against the new wooden wall and stared into the cloudy night sky. Not a single star shone for a companion tonight. He was angry and probably thinking this the worst wedding night ever. Had I gone too far? What if my plan was about to get me killed? No. I didn’t believe that. Not for one second. He wouldn’t hurt me.
At his first grunt of pain, I slipped back in through the door. My fingers fumbled with the clasp before my cloak fell to the floor. The hearth crackled and threw shadows up ahead. That was where my husband would be.
I trembled less with the laces, and though my heart raced with nervous energy, my dress slid easily to the dusty floor. Only when I was completely unencumbered by clothes did I step into the light of the stone fireplace.
A low growl escaped Luke’s lips as he leaned heavily against a wooden rail of an empty stall. His eyes glowed eerily against the warm illumination of the fire, and the white of his teeth cut through the shadows as he snarled, “You need to leave.”
“I need to see this, Luke. You need me to see this. You need me to accept all of you and this is the only way I can. Here, let me.” I reached for the top button of his shirt and he grabbed my hand in a painful grip so quick, I didn’t catch his movement from one position to the next.
I turned slowly and showed him the burns that marred the right side of my figure. “I’m a monster, too.”
His crystalline blue eyes raked across every inch of my skin with a hungry look that made me reach for him. His grip on my arm loosened and button after button was undone until his shirt hung open. Only a sliver of his tensed chest and abdomen showed but it was enough to draw a shaky breath from me. I’d never seen a man better made. He grunted as a crunching sound came from his hands and with his eyes closed against the pain, I pressed his hand between my legs.
His voice was agonized. “I’ll hurt you. If I bite you, you’ll die. Don’t you understand that?”
On the tips of my toes, I reached up and brushed his healing neck with my lips. “I trust you,” I whispered.
I couldn’t tell if his groan was from pleasure or pain but he gripped the railing behind me until it splintered and trapped my body with his. I pushed his shirt back to expose more skin and nibbled gently on the tip of his collarbone. “Do you trust me?”
His face was downcast, and his silky raven hair brushed the tops of my breasts, but in a movement as fast as it was decisive, his mouth crashed down on mine. Pinned against the railing behind me, I opened for my new husband. I wanted more. I wanted everything he had and still, I’d never be close enough to him.
“Please,” I begged as a growl ripped through him and his head snapped back. “Don’t change until you’re finished with me,” I rasped as he backed me against the rail. “Turn, run, hunt, and then come back to me. Own this pain, Luke Dawson,” I said to the sound of his rasping breath. “The faster you change, the faster you can come back to the warmth of my bed.”
Tugging at his trousers, I unsheathed him. His cock jutted between us, thick and long and hard as stone. I caressed the silken skin of it, and his hips bucked forward like he couldn’t help himself. A single bead of moisture sat the tip of his cock, and I wanted to taste him. The fiery look in his eyes said we didn’t have that kind of time.
He nudged my knees farther apart and pressed the head of his shaft against my wet slit. A low rumble came from his throat as he slid into me and inch. With a look both pain and pleasure, he thrust upward, filling me completely.
Hells bells, he felt so good inside of me.
Jerking his hips, he pulled out of me slowly, then thrust back in even deeper. I moaned and closed my eyes as his fingers dug into my waist. He pulled me so close, it was hard to concentrate on anything but the way his skin felt inside of me. I gasped as he plunged in again and brought a tingling wave of pleasure that just about bowed me over. Clawing at his back, my body filled with pressure I’d never experienced before. His powerful hips pumped against mine with every stroke, and just as I found myself on the verge of an explosion, his cock swelled even bigger within me. His pace was punishing, but still, I wanted more.
“Faster,” I cried out, and he obliged until I screamed his name and the first wave of my release crashed through me, clenching around him until his first shot of heat burst into me.
Two more deep strokes and he swelled again and gave me more of his release. Wet heat trickled down my thighs as he growled out my name and emptied himself completely.
He still looked mostly man in the moments after our blinding release, but in a series of cracks, like the rush of gunfire on some faraway battlefield, Luke changed in a moment without even the time to cry out at the pain he surely felt. I fell to my knees without the strength of his arms to hold me upright. There was no point in trying to stand, because my legs had as much substance as jelly.
Luke stood in front of me, appearing about as shocked as I’ve ever seen an animal look. I supposed he’d probably remember this change for the rest of his life. Head down, tail motionless, he just stared at me like he couldn’t figure out what form he was in.
This was the first time he’d been still enough for me to really see him, and what I saw filled me with pride so deep, it was hard to breathe. Gray fur, black tips, a white underbelly and those lupine eyes, softening by the moment as he watched me. My wolf was a looker, and no one on earth could convince me it was wrong for me to be attracted to my husband in both forms.
Spent and exhausted, I curled up beside my wolf and ran my hands languidly through his course fur. He sat there, watching me for a long time with those inhuman eyes. Maybe I was supposed to be scared with his warning about a werewolf bite, but something deep down in my gut told me that, man or beast, Luke would never hurt me. Nestled in the warmth between the hearth fire that crackled away and Luke against my skin, my eyes soon became a burden to keep open.
A low rumble came from deep within him. I needed to open the barn door. Slowly, I made my way to the bearskin cloak piled onto the wooden floor and wrapped it tightly around my bare shoulders. The door rattled as I slid it open, and fat snowflakes floated lazily in, only to melt as soon as they touched the hay scattered floor. A winter wonderland called to my wolf but he turned once more before he disappeared into the night.
“I love you,” I whispered with a smile.
He bounded toward the tree line in a flurry of fur and snow and as I waited inside the barn, his voice rose in a haunting lullaby. It was for me.
Sleep my wife
, it sang on the wind,
for when you wake, I’ll be man once again and by your side.
I didn’t bother with my dress other than to lay it across a rail so the mice didn’t shred it for their nests. Instead, I nestled closer into the warmth of my cloak and climbed the stairs to the loft. When I lifted my gaze to the loft before me, I gasped.
The hay had been cleared of half of the space, and a makeshift fence held it back from the bedroom. A simple wooden bed beckoned me from the corner over the fireplace and under the window, and the mattress was covered with thick furs and blankets. A long curtain of thick, red fabric was attached to a rail that ran the length of the loft to give us privacy.
It was perfect.
I set the lantern on the small table beside the bed and closed my eyes. This kind of happiness shouldn’t exist for a girl like me.
We’d struggled along the way, and it had taken both of our near deaths to fully accept our destinies in each other’s lives, but I’d made the right decision when I chose Luke over Jeremiah.
He was my best friend, my husband, my wolf, my protector, my lover.
He was everything.
****
Luke
Kristina looked so damned pretty in the early morning light, I couldn’t look away from her. Dusty rose colored rays of it drifted through the paned window and brushed her cheeks. Her curly hair looked as if it had spun gold weaved through it, and it lay in a soft wave across the pillow. The furs covered her body but still, I could see the outline of her hips.
The vision of her body had stayed with me, even as a wolf. She was flawless, from her creamy skin and hourglass body, to the warrior’s scars she called monstrosities. I hadn’t seen the burns in their entirety until last night, and the wolf inside of me crowed that I’d be the only one who ever would. I’d never found one feature more attractive on a woman than the scars my mate got fighting to save me.
Did she even know what she’d done for me? That change had been an easier transition than I even thought existed in my world. Holding back the wolf to satisfy her needs had heightened my senses, and where the pain had been staggering, the pleasure had been a blinding pinpoint of light that cast the ache away. And then I was wolf. There hadn’t been a drawn out transition. It had been an instantaneous mutation from one form to the next, as if it were actually the magic of legend everyone thought it to be.
Lifting the furs just enough to climb into bed beside her, I took a long draw of the air around her. She smelled of woman, and lavender wash, and both sides of me—the man and the animal. I’d claimed her as my mate and wife, and in turn, she’d accepted me right down to the darkest and grittiest places within my soul.
“Luke?” she said in a sleepy voice as her legs stretched against mine.
I kissed the back of her hair and pulled her tightly against me. “Go back to sleep, wife. I’m home.”