Wolf Home: Paranormal Werewolf Romance (5 page)

“Not tacky. It's interesting.” He paused. “You're not like most wolves, are you? You have long hair, and body modesty...”

His tone was light and teasing, but Nicole flushed. “I left home when I was eighteen and I haven't been back in almost ten years,” she admitted quietly.

“Damn. Long time with no visit. Were you really far away?” He ran his fingertips down her shoulder to her back. “West coast?”

“No. I was in New York City, it was only a few hours away.” She curled in on herself. “I didn't come back because I didn't want to. I didn't really think I ever would until this weekend.”

“Okay, whoa, wait a second.” Adam pulled back and went to sit on the bed. “I think we should probably talk before we go back to the sex – which was mind blowing, by the way--”

“You haven't even orgasmed,” Nicole said, bemused, but followed him to sit next to him.

“Yeah, but I can tell it's going to be from the way you did. Anyway.” Adam shook his head. “Look, the Fannons have been great to me and so have your parents when I saw them, but I don't really know these people and I know it. Is there something I'm missing? If this is a run while you still can deal, I am totally up for hot wiring a car and speeding off with you in the night.”

Nicole's lips twitched. “We wouldn't need to hot wire anything, everyone leaves the keys in them here. But... no, it's not that.”

She sprawled back on the bed and sighed, staring up at the ceiling. It was decorated with glow in the dark stars in constellations she had put up painstakingly when she was fourteen. Until this morning, she hadn't seen her room since high school, and being in here gave her the disturbing sense that no time had passed, and her time away, her entire adult life had been a dream.

Of course, her mate was sitting on the bed next to her. That was new.

“It's difficult,” she said slowly, speaking almost in defiance of herself. She felt like she was split in two, between the Nicole of the last ten years and the Nicole of her childhood, allied fiercely with her wolf. “I always – I love my family, you know? And I love the Catskills. I love being a wolf.”

“But?” Adam asked.

“But... it's not... I mean, it doesn't really matter anyway.” She turned away from him on the bed, staring at the wall. “I don't know if you know, but my mother lost her child in the slide, when she was hurt, and something went wrong...”
“I heard.” Adam's voice was close behind her; he must be lying only a few inches away. Her wolf whined for her to press against him, go back to the sex and stop this stupid introspection. Stop fighting herself.

“So I'm her heir and I should just stop
dwelling
. It's stupid, anyway.”

“If I'm your mate, that's like your life partner, right?” Adam asked.

“Yeah,” she muttered.

“So you should tell me and we'll work it out together. Even if it's stupid.”

“It's – this is a whole new exciting world to you, but that's because you already
had
the rest of the world. I had – my family, about a hundred acres of wilderness, and the public library the next county over on weekend trips. I love the Catskills, but they're not the whole world. And I love my wolf, but I don't want my wolf to be my whole life.

“Going to college would be good for the pack if I came back. That was my excuse to leave. But I kind of wish I hadn't, because now I don't just suspect there's a whole other world out there, with
billions
of people and so many places and things and smells, I know, and I can't have it.

“My job is to stay in the Catskills and mate you and run the family finances and have wolf pups to carry on the family line, who will
also
have to stay here and do the same thing when they grow up. I have to do those things.

“And it's the stupid stuff, too, not just the big things. I have to dress to show off that I'm an alpha. I have to wear the tacky jewelry and the clothes my mother picks out for now, and then I have to use the same standards when it's up to me. I have to treat people the right way, to show that I'm the alpha and they're my responsibility and my subordinates. I have to be friends with the right people, depending on what my pack thinks of theirs. Humans, not a chance. But it's all for
reasons
. It's not like this is some torment for the fun of it. It's because I have power and I have to show I'm worthy of it.

“So it's stupid. I'm just a child who sees her responsibilities and says no, no, no, I don't wanna,” she finished, dropping her head to the mattress and letting her hair fall across her face to hide the frustrated tears welling. “I feel so selfish.”

The bed springs creaked, and at first she thought Adam was leaving her to sulk alone, but instead, she felt his fingers on her face, drawing back her hair. She felt the warmth of him bending over her, and then he kissed her cheeks, lapping at the tears lightly.

“It's not selfish,” he said, softly, eventually. “We all want things, you know? And...” he hesitated. “It feels like you're complaining that your family brought you up to be, you know...”

“Barefoot in the kitchen and pregnant?” The thought wasn't like her; she wondered if she was catching his. “It's not like that. I mean, it's not just because I'm a woman, for one thing. I'm supposed to run the pack, too, with my mate, that's the reason for most of it. And I
want
children, is the thing, the same way I want the Catskills and I want my wolf.”

“You just don't want them to be all you have?” Adam finished wryly. He ran his fingers down the other side of her face, pulling her hair back; she lifted her head slightly, and he moved it all behind her shoulders and went back to petting it.

“Yeah.” She looked away. “I love you, I can't help it, but at the same time – you know, when I heard you were a park ranger with your undergrad in earth science, I was scared for a minute you'd be offended I'm more educated than you, in the same field? That's
not
like me, if I had a date who got mad about that in New York – and I've had them – I'd throw them over the fucking table. But just because my wolf wants you, it becomes this whole head game of, can you really say no, if you say no you're being selfish, you'd better change yourself to fit him if he says no.”

“Do you want to say no?” Adam asked.

“No.” She reached up to where she thought he was, pulled him down and kissed him. “I like you, you've been nothing but sweet and respectful and sexy as hell. Assuming you're not secretly a serial killer or something. But if you
hadn't
been, I'd have been stuck either way.”

“Okay, good. Then what I want to say is – you're not selfish. And maybe I'm missing something, but you've been gone ten years so I think I can say that – it seems like things are a little more open than you're used to. Like, a few of the wolves in the Fannon pack live in New York or Toronto and drive over and spend the weekends here, and I haven't seen any big dramatic productions over it.”

“That
is
new,” she agreed, trying to guess which wolves he was talking about, and unable to.

“So. I think, if we're going to be in charge of the pack, then maybe it's our job to change things so being a wolf isn't choosing between that and the rest of the world. So our children aren't just carrying things on, and they get to choose.”

“Maybe you're right,” she said, slowly.

“And Nicole? Were you
happy
in New York? I was going crazy before I had a pack, and I wasn't without it for anything close to ten years.”

“It's not as bad if you're just separated,” she said. “But... not really.” She remembered waking in the night, terrified and
alone
and muffling tears that sounded like canine whining into her pillow to avoid scaring her roommate, and huddled against her mate. “You can be in a crowd, you can have a hundred friends, all the lovers you could dream of, too, and there's still this part of you that thinks it's been locked in a cell away from humanity for years.”

“So we'll find a way to give you both. I promise.”

“You're confident, newcomer,” she murmured dangerously, opening her eyes, but smiling. “If you promise, I accept.”

“Good.” He kissed her, one hand on her hip. “Back to where we were?”

“One thing, first.” Nicole wanted to melt into him. It was amazing how much better he had made her feel about the things she'd been tossing around in her mind for years in one conversation. Just saying it out loud felt like an immense burden lifted.

But she had to be sure he knew what he was getting into. “You know – once we have sex, I mean penetrative, or at least mutual orgasm, we're married according to the pack. The ceremony and party is just for fun and public record.”

“Would've been nice to know that.” Adam blinked. “Thanks for telling me.”

“If you want to wait until you know me better...” Her wolf was less than pleased. Nicole told herself firmly that she
owned
a vibrator. They could both wait.

“Magic says we're mated for life, magic says we're mated for life,” Adam said wryly. “I can't say married is more of a commitment than
that
.” He leaned in to kiss her again, and whispered against her lips, “I do.”

Nicole was suddenly grateful for all of those chick flicks her roommate had dragged her to. She'd have been totally lost here otherwise. “I do,” she said. “Now take your damn shirt off.”

He hadn't so much as unfastened his pants earlier. Now, he pulled his shirt off, grinning at her stare, and shucked out of his pants in about two seconds flat before returning to the bed. “Please tell me you have a condom,” he said.

“I'm on birth control, have you been tested?” Nicole asked.

“Right before I came here, and I haven't really had sex with anyone to catch something. You're clean if you're asking?”

“Yeah.” Nicole leaned over to kiss him.

He bit at her lips and slid his hands into his hair. The wandering fingers turned into a surprisingly harsh grip as she moaned. “Nothing else to worry about?” he said into her ear.

“Nothing.”

“Good.” He rolled them down onto the bed, holding her hair with one hand and her back with the other, and sank to lick and suck at her neck.

Nicole went willingly, letting her legs slide open when his other hand moved down. He pulled one knee up sharply and groped, sliding two fingers between her lower lips and teasing at her clit with his thumb nail, making her gasp and whine.

“You like that?” he asked, fluttering his fingers against her.

“Mm, harder? I like a little pain.”

“So do I,” he murmured, digging his nails in. Her hips bucked and she tried to toss her head, but found it trapped by his hand still in her hair. She pulled anyway, shivering at the sting.

“Especially when it's mine?” she murmured, feeling his fingers questing for her entrance. She rolled her hips upward to make it easier, and was rewarded with the feeling of him sliding two fingers into her.

“Oh, yeah. You're really fucking wet.” He slid his fingers in and out.

“You
did
just go down on me ten minutes ago,” she mumbled, curling her toes at the sensation of him hooking and twisting his fingers inside her. “What did you -- ah! -- expect?”

“Good point.” He scissored his fingers open, stretching her entrance, and she groaned at the feeling of herself being pulled open and the cool air against her. “Then you don't need more foreplay?”

“Take me,” she said, smirking. “Take me now – are you my prince or more of a scoundrel?”

“As you command,” he joked, “My
wife,
” and with that he thrust his erection into her.

She gasped and closed her eyes, trying to concentrate on the sensation. She had had sex before, of course – the automatic marriage was only among other wolves, and her dates while away had been human – but this time it felt subtly different. More real, more intense, more
everything
.

Adam thrust into her, filling her again and again, pinning her hips down with his weight and her head down with his hand in her hair, and she shivered, feeling anchored as she had never been. The sensation of his cock inside her, filling her, matched the sensation of his mind against hers, the mate bond intensifying with every touch. She would never be alone again, never be lonely again. His mind took hers as his body did.

It was intense, and wonderful, and frightening, and she was going to think about it later. With a groan, she forced her eyes open. The sun had set, and the only light in the room came from the glowing constellations on the ceiling, but her wolf's eyes focused easily for all it lost some of the color she had in more light. She saw Adam's face. His eyes were closed, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he slid his hand down between them and wriggled his fingers to rest against her clit as he fucked her.

Nicole shuddered hard at the touch, then rocked frantically against him when he started to take his hand away. “Dammit, don't stop--” she cursed, then broke out into high pitched whining as another orgasm took her.

Adam's eyes opened as she groaned and yelped, and he watched her intently. Something in his eyes touched her deep inside, some quality that seemed like – reverence. Too much, far too much. Nicole leaned forward to kiss him, to take away that look before it drowned her, and rode out the aftershocks of the orgasm on his cock.