Wolf Tales 12 (22 page)

Damn, but her legs itched! How could they? Normally she couldn’t feel them, but she wanted to reach down and claw the skin off, they itched so badly.

“Sunny? You okay?”

A shaft of light from the hallway spilled through her door. Adam stood there with one hand on the door. He looked as if he’d just crawled out of bed. His dark blond hair was more tangled than usual, and he was wearing a pair of raggedy old shorts that hung loosely from his narrow hips. Even though he was married, and even though she really loved Liana, Sunny didn’t care. She wanted him to touch her. Anywhere. Anything to make this strange itching go away.

I can’t sleep. I feel all twitchy.

“I think you’re ready to shift.”

He yawned and stretched, and she couldn’t stop looking at his beautiful flat belly and the dark gold hair that flared across his chest and then narrowed all the way down until it turned into a single line that disappeared beneath the waistband of his shorts. She’d never seen a half-naked man in person before, and it was hard not to stare.

He smiled really big, like he knew what she was thinking, but he didn’t seem at all angry, even though her twitching and not-so-silent bitching had obviously just awakened him.

“I’ve called Logan,” he said. “When he gets here, do you want to give it a try? See if you can turn into a wolf?”

She’d watched the others shift throughout the past week. They were beautiful, elegant yet feral creatures. Graceful and scary at the same time.
Do you really think I won’t be paralyzed if I shift? Will I be like the rest of you?

She wanted to be just like them. In her dreams, she’d always been able to run. Her legs were powerful, her senses so sensitive she hated to awaken to the numb existence that was all she’d ever really known in her real life.

“That’s our plan.” Adam stepped into the room.

Logan followed right behind him, still rubbing his eyes.

“Couldn’t do this during waking hours, eh, Sunny?” He flipped on the bedroom light and, blinking against the sudden brightness, walked over to her. He stopped beside the bed and grinned at her. Then he brushed his hand over her short, spiky hair and grinned some more.

She’d had to keep it short so it was easier for her caretakers, but if everything worked, if shifting really did help her heal, she wanted to let it grow out. She wanted it long and flowing, just like Liana’s. Imagining possibilities, she realized she was smiling as broadly as Logan, even though nothing had happened.

Not yet. But it was going to. There were no doubts in her mind. Not anymore. She blinked and looked into Logan’s amber eyes. She knew he was teasing her about waking him—all of them teased her as if she were a normal girl. No one here treated her like a cripple, and they definitely didn’t think she was stupid.

She answered his question seriously, even though she knew that wasn’t how it was meant.
I don’t want to attempt my first shift when there are others around. I don’t want to make them sad if it doesn’t work. You and Adam . . . you know what I’m like inside. It’s different with both of you.

Logan gazed at her a moment. His teasing grin had become a soft, understanding smile. “I understand. You’re a good woman, Sunny. Life’s kicked you more times than anyone deserves, but you’re still putting others first.” He glanced at Adam. “You ready to give it a try?” When Adam nodded, Logan said, “Go ahead and shift. Sunny, you link to Adam. Pay attention to what he’s thinking, not to how he looks. You’ll have to ignore the fact this ugly guy’s going to get naked first. Just see what he does from the inside, and then do the same thing. I’m going to help you out of your nightgown so you don’t get tangled in your clothes. Are you okay with that?”

If she could have, she’d be laughing like an idiot. One of the most gorgeous guys she’d ever seen was asking permission to take her clothes off?
Of course I am. Like I said, you’ve seen me from the inside out. It’s hard to feel shy with you guys.

“That’s good to know.”

He slipped her gown off and set it aside, and just as quickly, without embarrassing her at all, removed the adult diaper she wore. Then he ran his fingers over the small button on her abdomen where her feeding tube went. “When you shift, this is probably going to fall out. I’ve got my medical bag with me in case it causes any problems. If you’re still paralyzed when you shift back to your human self, I’ll have to replace it. You okay with that?”

Okay.
For a moment, it was hard to breathe. She’d had the feeding tube for as long as she could remember. What would it be like, to actually be able to eat real food like everyone else?

“Adam? You ready?”

She looked at Adam and immediately forgot about the feeding tube. She couldn’t stop staring. She’d never seen him naked, but he’d slipped out of his old shorts and stood beside her bed, unself-conscious and so beautiful she wanted to cry.

She’d read her share of erotic romances. She’d looked at porn on the Internet. She knew how guys were built, and she’d seen some of the men when they’d shifted over the past week, but never any of them up close like this. Never anyone as beautiful as Adam.

“I’m going to shift, Sunny.” Adam touched her shoulder and forced her to pay attention. “I want you to get into my mind. See what I do when I change.”

She blinked and stared at his eyes. It was hard when all she wanted to do was look at the rest of him. She should probably feel embarrassed—there was no hiding her growing arousal from either man. Even her nipples had tightened, which was just weird, considering her paralysis, but she could actually feel them. She knew they were tight and pointed, something they’d never done before. Thank goodness both men ignored her surging fantasies. Their ease with nudity made her feel even more comfortable.

She linked with Adam and saw herself as he saw her. He thought she was beautiful. His perceptions of her were so shocking she almost forgot to pay attention—the idea that this man, that any man, would see her as beautiful and strong and brave was impossible to accept.

But then he was shifting, and the change was so swift, so simple, she almost missed it. She replayed the steps in her mind. Did exactly as Adam had just done.

Felt her body, the body she’d not felt for almost all of her life, suddenly come to life. Felt the bedding beneath her paws, the air in the room ruffling her thick coat and then . . .

Pain! Unrelenting, unimaginable pain!
She opened her mouth to scream, but the only sound that emerged was a shrieking howl, a high-pitched cry that went on and on and . . .

Chapter 16

“How is she?”

Adam glanced up and slowly shook his head. Anton stood in the doorway to the clinic, looking as if he’d aged a million years over the past long days. And now he and Logan, like idiots, had added another layer of worry to Anton’s plate.

“We’ve got her sedated. Crap, Anton. We didn’t even think of what it would be like, sending impulses through nerves that haven’t experienced sensation for so many years. I can’t imagine the pain she was in, whether real or perceived.”

“You had no way of knowing.” Anton stepped closer to the bed. “She’s a beautiful wolf, isn’t she? Her coat is unusual. So fair, like rich cream.” He ran his hand over her cream-colored shoulder, gently ruffling the thick fur. “When do you plan to bring her out of it?”

Adam sighed. She really was beautiful, and such an innocent. What were the changes going to do to her? Had she ever really experienced sexual need, with a body that couldn’t feel?

“We’re going to let the drugs wear off naturally. We’ll be able to tell before she’s fully conscious if she’s still experiencing pain. Logan’s sleeping right now. He was up all night, monitoring her. I figure she’ll be coming out of it in another hour or so.”

“Just when we think we know so much.”

“Anton? You want to know the truth? We don’t know a fucking thing. Logan, Liana, and I go trucking through people’s bodies, fixing stuff that looks wrong, without a clue what we’re doing. All we can do is pray that we don’t make things worse. I keep thinking that maybe Lily will be able to tell us things when she comes back. Maybe she’ll learn things from those old guys that she can teach us. Have you had any word from her at all?”

“No. Not yet.” Anton glanced toward the window that opened out over the back meadow. The swings and jungle gym were crawling with kids, the sound of laughter and childish voices impossible to ignore.

Lily’s voice wasn’t among them. Adam wondered how the man handled this, where he found the strength. Even Eve’s word that Lily was safe couldn’t possibly ease all his worry.

Anton turned slowly away from the window and leaned against the desk. He planted his hands on the smooth surface behind him and stared down for a long, silent moment. Adam watched him, worrying, until Anton took a deep breath, raised his head and, uncharacteristically, seemed to struggle for words.

“You’re right, you know.” His eyes blinked rapidly, and he took another audible breath. “Not having Lily here is tearing me apart. It’s killing Keisha, but the little ones need their mother and she finds her strength for them. Their need helps Keisha focus her attention.” He bit back a harsh sound. “Hell, who am I kidding? Keisha’s stronger than I’ll ever be. She goes to bed at night and cries, then she sleeps, and then she gets up and deals with another day. I can’t allow myself the luxury of giving in to fear, because I’d lose it altogether, and if that were to happen, I couldn’t get up again. Couldn’t go forward. Not the way she does.”

He shrugged, so obviously struggling that Adam felt tears welling in his eyes.

“Adam, I have to trust that Lily will be all right. That’s the only way I can go on. The only way. As far as Sunny . . . for what it’s worth, you and Logan are doing the right thing. We know she’s Chanku. She has a voice as a wolf and you said she fought you, that she tried to break away, which means she’s not paralyzed, at least in wolf form. We wouldn’t have known this otherwise. If she’s still paralyzed as a human after she shifts, she can choose life as a wolf, among those of us who will love her and understand her. That’s more than she had. Much more.”

“I caused her so much pain.” Adam stared at the floor, unable to face Anton, unwilling to look at Sunny.

“Is that what you think?” Anton pushed away from the desk and stood in front of Adam. “That it’s your fault? Not true, Adam. You and Logan helped this girl find her true nature. What happens next is up to Sunny and the body she should have had all along. I think she’ll be fine, once her system adjusts to the changes, to the sensations she’s not had for far too long. Keeping her under in wolf form is giving her that chance. Look . . .” He rested his hand on Adam’s shoulder. “You’re doing everything you know, everything you can to help her. That should be enough, but if you need me for anything, call me.”

“Thank you.” Adam stood and stretched. His vertebrae made little popping noises as he worked the kinks out. “Where’re you going?”

Anton shrugged. “To the caverns. I want to be there when Lily comes home.” He started to smile, failed, and turned away.

Adam watched him leave. Anton’s shoulders were bowed, his body tired. As he walked away, he looked like a beaten man.

Adam sat down beside Sunny’s bed and resumed his vigil.

Something was very, very wrong, and yet, at the same time, amazingly right. Sunny lay on the soft mattress, aware of its softness. She’d never been able to feel her bed before. Then she inhaled and picked up so many different scents she almost sneezed.

She took another breath, fought it for a second, and did sneeze. Blinked. Opened her eyes, and totally freaked.

Everything was different. Colors were off, sound too loud, smells overwhelming. Panic flashed and she rolled to her belly, prepared to flee. She had to run, had to . . .

“Sunny? Sunny, don’t be afraid. You’re okay.”

Fingers burrowed into the soft fur at her shoulder.
Fur?

A familiar voice.
Nick?
She raised her head and looked into Nick’s dark eyes. Adam stood beside him, smiling broadly.

Still panting, her heart pounding in terror, Sunny jerked her head around, chasing the scents and sounds of many. Four women sat in chairs along the wall. Jazzy Blue, Beth, Xandi, and Tala held hands and smiled at her.

Nick’s grip on her neck tightened.

What?
She blinked, snapped her gaze down, and saw her feet. She was looking at what should be her hands, but they were paws. Big, furry paws with long, sharp nails. Experimentally, she flexed first one and then the other. She whimpered before she remembered she was a wolf, not a woman.

Would she be able to speak and move when she shifted back?
I can move. I’m not paralyzed anymore!

Adam stepped close and stroked her shoulder. “Not as a wolf, at least. Are you feeling any pain? You scared the crap out of Logan and me when you shifted last night. I’m not certain, but I think the pain you felt was mostly from your nerves experiencing sensation after a lifetime without any.”

She gazed at him a moment, thinking about that, remembering the sharp pain that had exploded through her body, categorizing it on a level of one to ten. The more she thought about it, the more she realized it had probably frightened her more than it actually hurt.

She couldn’t remember what
feeling
felt like! After a moment, she slowly rolled her shoulders and, moving carefully, struggling to coordinate unfamiliar muscles with nerves she’d never used, stood up. Nick stepped aside, but Adam kept his hands on her shoulders, helping to stabilize her. Her legs were sort of rubbery and shaky and she was breathing hard from the effort, but nothing hurt. In fact, she felt sort of numb, the way she imagined an anesthetic would make her feel. Not actually dead, the way her body had always been—just numb.

She glanced again toward the women.
You’re doing something to take away the pain, aren’t you?

Tala grinned at her. “Yep. We learned to do this for each other during labor.” She glanced at the others. “We link with you and share the pain, though I’m not feeling any with you at all right now. You guys noticing any?”