Wolf Tales 12 (24 page)

I’m listening to what you’re thinking, you know. And I’m not all that innocent. I may not have experienced sex, but I’ve read about it. I’ve seen porn on the Internet. A lot of it. There’s not a whole hell of a lot to do when you’re stuck in a wheelchair all day and the only thing you can operate is your computer. I know what naked men look like, and I’ve got a good idea what you two were talking about when you referred to his Louisville Slugger. Please don’t patronize me, and don’t try to protect me. I’m not a child. I’m an adult. Do you have any idea how frustrating it is to be at everyone’s mercy? To be treated as if I haven’t got a mind of my own? Don’t you dare do it, too.

“Shit. You’re right, Sunny, and I’m sorry.” He sat on the bed beside her. “In my own defense, you have to realize you make me feel like a dirty old man. In human form, you look about twelve. I know you’re a virgin, Sunny, so I do apologize, but you’ll have to forgive me for erring on the side of caution.”

He chuckled softly. “But I promise not to treat you like a child. Igmutaka is a spirit guide. He was born a cougar, though we’ve recently learned he’s actually Chanku, like we are. His ancestors were from the first migration from Tibet to the New World. He came to us through Mik, one of Tala’s men, and while he was sort of between charges to protect, he became Liana’s and my lover.”

Both of you?

Her eyes went wide. Adam laughed out loud. “I take it no one’s explained the Chanku libido to you. You’ll find out about it really fast, now that you’re shifting. To put it bluntly, we’ve got a really powerful sex drive. If all goes according to plan, I imagine you’re going to discover exactly what I mean when you shift back to your human self. It’s especially strong after we shift and run, more so if we hunt and kill something, so I’m not sure how much it will affect you at this point.”

He ran his fingers through her thick coat and she sighed. It felt so good to be touched. Even better to have him sitting here talking to her like she was an adult.

It was about damned time.

“You’re aware of the sexual drives of lesbian women, gay men, and heterosexuals. As Chanku, we’re all of the above. Even if we have someone we’re bonded to—a life-mate, so to speak—we take others within the pack as our lovers. Multiple lovers. I’ve been sexually involved with all of the men and all of the women you’ve met, except Manda and Millie, and Millie’s mate, Ric.”

Why not them?

He smiled. “I thought you knew. Millie may look young enough to be my sister, but she’s my mother. Manda’s my twin sister. Chanku avoid incestuous relationships. I consider Ric off-limits on general principles.” He laughed. “I can’t quite get past the fact he’s sleeping with my mother.”

So that means that if I have sex with any of the adults, no one minds? They don’t get jealous?

“No one has so far. No reason to, though we only mate as wolves with our chosen mate. There’s a bond that takes place when two wolves mate that’s pretty amazing. It truly links us for life, though we’ve all been known to fool around with one partner in wolf form and the other human.”

He chuckled softly and she had a feeling he was remembering something very personal. “The thing is, Sunny, when you can read each other’s minds, you know exactly what’s going on. You know that if your guy is having sex with someone else, he still loves you, though we honestly do love one another. It’s just different with bonded mates. Stronger. Deeper. We want a strong, healthy pack, a steady, loving environment for our kids.... It’s a given that we will protect all our children with our lives. We’re family, Sunny. You’re part of that now. Once you’re healthy enough, strong enough to want sex, it’s whoever you choose, when you choose. Trust me on that. You’ll know when it happens that it’s right.”

Then he stood up and folded his arms across his chest. “So. You ready to give it a try?”

What? Sex or shifting?

She imagined she sounded a lot cockier than she felt.

Adam raised one eyebrow and grinned at her. “Let’s try the shifting first, okay?”

She sighed. It was now or never. She called on that part of her mind, the part that had told her how to shift from girl to wolf. It happened so quickly, she didn’t have time to be afraid, though she was just a little bit embarrassed.

She lay on the bed on her belly, completely naked, gazing up at Adam. Her body was sort of twitching, as if there were neurons firing that hadn’t been fired in way too long. Nothing really hurt, but she had feeling in a body that had long been dead to her.

And some of those feelings were totally unexpected. Adam hadn’t been kidding about the libido. She might never have known sexual arousal before, but she certainly recognized it now.

Adam had a huge grin on his face. He grabbed her hand and squeezed her fingers. She tried to squeeze him back, but wasn’t sure how successful she was. Still, she could feel his hand, the rough calluses, what must be a scab on one of his knuckles. The sensation of touch was absolutely fascinating.

“Well? You gonna say something?”

Sunny hung on to his hand. She opened her mouth, but all that came out was a funny croaking sound. She tried again, aware of muscles in her throat working for the first time since she could remember. Feeling her throat move, she tried her toes, but she wasn’t quite sure what to do to make them move.

She must have done something right. Adam laughed. “Your toes are wiggling. Slow, but they’re definitely moving. I’ve let Logan know. He’s headed this way.”

“I’m naked.”

He laughed even harder. “That you are. Of all the things you could say for your very first words, ‘I’m naked’ is the best you can do?”

“I guess. I . . .” She swallowed the unexpected lump in her throat. Her toes were moving. Her fingers. She could feel her arms and legs beginning to jerk and twitch. Muscles that hadn’t seen action in a lifetime jumped and shivered and ached as she stretched out her arms, stretched her legs, and tried to roll over and sit up.

The room went blurry. She sniffed and, without thinking, rubbed her eyes against the back of her hand.

She’d not touched her own face since she was hurt. Not since before she was two.

Without any warning at all, the tears came. A veritable flood of them. Adam reached for her and pulled her into his lap, into his arms, and she didn’t even think about her nudity or the fact she’d never been held by a man in her life. Not until he held her close and she felt the steady thud of his heart and the warmth of his body through the thin T-shirt he wore. Still, she couldn’t stop crying, and when he handed her the clean white handkerchief out of his back pocket, she cried even harder.

Logan’s voice barely penetrated. She’d not heard him come into the room. “Sweetie? You okay?”

She nodded her head. It was the best she could do.

“I think it’s a bit much for her,” Adam said. He rested his chin on the top of her head and held her close. “I can’t imagine what it must feel like, to have a body suddenly work the way it’s meant to after a lifetime without any function at all.”

“F . . . f . . . feels wonderful.” She hiccupped. Swallowed and sniffed. “I’m sorry, but . . .”

“You’ve never heard your own voice before, have you?” Adam chuckled. She felt his chest bounce against her. “Your arms are surprisingly straight. Your legs appear to be, too, though you definitely need to work on those muscles. You’re much too thin. I think Liana and I were right with our original diagnosis.”

She sniffed. “What diagnosis?”

Logan sat on the bed beside Adam and softly stroked her spiky hair. “We think when you were little, whoever beat you hurt you so badly that you tried to shift. It’s a natural instinct for a shapeshifter, to become a wolf and run away from what’s hurting you. That or take a bite out of them. You shift, then run or attack. But you were too young. You’ve been caught in an incomplete shift ever since. It’s caused compression on your spine, injuries that couldn’t heal because everything was out of place and it kept growing that way. When you shifted, all those muscles, bones, and tendons realigned.”

Adam rested his cheek against her head. “That probably explains some of the pain you felt when you shifted for the first time. Once you’re stronger, you should be able to do anything you want. For now, I’d suggest you work at building up your strength, work on your coordination. All of your joints, your bones and muscles, are lined up where they belong. You should talk to my sister about it. Manda was caught in the middle of a shift for twenty-five years. You’d never know it, looking at her now, but her body was grotesque, a nightmare.”

“But Manda’s beautiful.” She sniffed. She couldn’t imagine her as anything other than she was now—perfect in every way.

Logan stood up and went to the closet. He pulled a dark blue bathrobe off a hanger. “Jazzy and I stayed in this room years ago. I think this robe’s been hanging here ever since. Let’s see if you can stand up and I’ll help you get it on. It’ll be a little long for you, but I imagine you’ll be more comfortable with something on. Besides, I want to see if the hole for your feeding tube has closed up.”

With Adam’s help, Sunny stood. She was taller than she thought she’d be, though not too much bigger than Tala. She was definitely too skinny, but no one seemed to mind that her arms and legs looked like sticks. Logan slipped the robe over her shoulders and she managed to get her arms in the sleeves. Her legs felt shaky, but she didn’t want to sit down. Not yet.

What if she couldn’t get up again? What if this wonderful sense of feeling went away? Logan knelt beside her and checked the opening in her side. She’d had the feeding tube for so long that the skin was puckered and raw, though no longer entirely open. Shifting must have helped it close.

Logan stood up. “Sunny, I want you to lie down so we can close this from the inside out. Then you need to rest a bit before dinner. If you’re up to it, come join all of us for dinner tonight. I think your mindtalking is powerful enough to reach one of us to come and get you.”

She lay back on the bed while Logan and Adam placed their hands on her side. As the warmth from their healing touch soothed her body, she drifted off, imagining all the possibilities of a life she’d never dared dream.

Anton sat in the dirt on the cavern floor with his legs folded, elbows resting on his bent knees, chin resting on his fingertips. He’d remained in this position, unmoving, for the better part of the day, not quite meditating, not entirely within this space and time.

He wanted to go to Lily. Wanted his daughter home so badly he ached, but he’d given his word. He understood the importance of Lily’s quest, no matter her age. Since going after her was out of the question, he waited for the moment when she would walk through the gateway.

Eve had said that as far as Lily was concerned, she’d only feel as if she’d been gone for a few hours. He’d find that hard to believe if he hadn’t already experienced the anomaly that was time on the astral plane.

In his case, it had worked in reverse. His thoughts wandered back to that day so many years ago, when Liana had been their goddess, not Adam’s very mortal mate. Anton had been a two-bit magician in a two-bit circus, overwintering in Florida when the Goddess snagged him out of his tent between shows.

He’d spent long days with her, making love, experiencing sex unlike anything he’d known before, and then he was back in his tent and only moments had passed—and he’d totally forgotten the woman and the sex.

But when the memories returned—as they did, years later—he realized he’d spent hours, days, maybe even weeks somewhere with a woman who was in truth a goddess, a woman who had gained power from the sex she’d had with him. She had taken him against his will, kept him as her lover, and then returned him to the same place and time where she’d found him. He’d lost no time at all in the real world.

Since then, he’d gone to their Goddess Eve and spent what seemed like hours or days with her while searching for Lily, only to come home and discover no time at all had passed.

Eve assured him it worked both ways. He prayed she was right, but however long it was—for him or for Lily—he wanted his daughter back.

Sunny turned off the shower and wrapped herself in a soft, fluffy towel. She wasn’t even short of breath, and she was so gloriously clean. No wonder showers were so highly rated! Not that she hadn’t bathed regularly, but the indignity of sitting strapped in a chair while someone hosed your body down and washed your privates with mechanical skill while you couldn’t even feel the water, much less their touch—well, there was no comparison to this. None at all.

She’d even used the toilet, which might not be all that momentous an act, but it was the first time for her, and she was really quite proud of herself. So many firsts, and dinner tonight would be another.

Xandi had brought her some lipstick, and Keisha had left a beautiful moss green sarong on her bed. The lipstick wasn’t too hard to use, though she messed up the first time and had to wipe everything off and do it over, but wrapping the sarong around her body was like a religious experience.

The cool silk slithered over her skin as if it were alive. It left her shivering and oddly aroused. Adam and Logan hadn’t been kidding about the libido thing.

There was a full-length mirror in her room. Sunny stood in front of it and carefully smoothed the silk over breasts that were surprisingly full on such a thin frame, and hips that flared from an actual waist. It took her a few minutes to get the knot right, but she finally got it tied over one shoulder. She’d seen the other women wearing them in dozens of different ways, but this was her favorite.

It was the way Keisha had worn hers this morning.

Once again, Sunny smoothed the pale silk over her hips and stared. The woman in the mirror was a stranger to her, but she wasn’t ugly. Not at all, even with her spiky blond hair and eyes too big for her narrow face. Sunny turned and posed, careful not to stumble. She’d never have Keisha’s stately presence, but she didn’t look bad at all.

The kitchen was at the end of the hallway. The dining room next to that. She’d decided during her shower that she was going to do this on her own. It was time to stop depending on Adam to carry her everywhere—being carried in that gorgeous man’s strong arms could become addictive.