Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom (141 page)

Close your eyes. . . .

For a moment just reflect on what the word
forgiveness
might really mean. What is forgiveness?

And now, very gently—no force—just as an experiment in truth—just for a moment—allow the image of someone for whom you have much resentment—someone for whom you have anger and a sense of distance—let them just gently—gently, come into your mind—as an image, as a feeling.

Maybe you feel them at the center of your chest as fear, as resistance.

However they manifest in your mind-body, just invite them in very gently for this moment—for this experiment.

And in your heart, silently say to them, “I forgive you.

I forgive you for whatever you have done in the past that caused me pain, intentionally or unintentionally.

However you have caused me pain, I forgive you.”

Speak gently to them in your heart with your own words—in your own way.

In your heart, say to them, “I forgive you for whatever you may have done in the past, through your words, through your actions, through your thoughts that caused me pain, intentionally or unintentionally, I forgive you. I forgive you.”

Allow . . . Allow them to be touched . . . just for a moment at least . . . by your forgiveness.

Allow forgiveness.

It is so painful to hold someone out of your heart. How can you hold on to the pain, that resentment even a moment longer?

Fear, doubt . . . let it go . . . and for this moment, touch them with your forgiveness.

“I forgive you.”

Now let them go gently, let them leave quietly. Let them go with your blessing.

Now picture someone who has great resentment for you. Feel them maybe in your chest, seeing them in your mind as an image—a sense of their being. Invite them gently in. Someone who has resentment, anger— someone who is unforgiving toward you.

Let them into your heart.

And in your heart, say to them, “I ask your forgiveness, for whatever I may have done in the past that caused you pain, intentionally or unintentionally— through my words, through my actions, through my thoughts. However I caused you pain, I ask your forgiveness. I ask your forgiveness.

Through my anger, my fear, my blindness, my laziness. However I caused you pain intentionally or unintentionally—I ask your forgiveness.”

Let it be. Allow that forgiveness in. Allow yourself to be touched by their forgiveness. If the mind rises up with thoughts like self-indulgence or doubt, just see how profound our mercilessness is with ourselves and open to the forgiveness.

Allow yourself to be forgiven.

Allow yourself to be forgiven.

“However I caused you pain, I ask for your forgiveness.” Allow yourself to feel their forgiveness.

Let it be.

And gently . . . gently . . . let them go on their way in forgiveness for you— in blessings for you.

And turn to yourself in your own heart and say, “I forgive you” to you.

Whatever tries to block that—the mercilessness and fear— let it go.

Let it be touched by your forgiveness and your mercy.

And gently, in your heart, calling yourself by your own first name, say, “I forgive you” to you.

Let it be.

It is so painful to put yourself out of your heart.

Let yourself in. Allow yourself to be touched by this forgiveness.

Let the healing in.

Say, “I forgive you” to you.

Let that forgiveness be extended to the beings all around you.

May all beings forgive themselves.

May they discover joy.

May all beings be freed of suffering.

May all beings be at peace.

May all beings be healed.

May they be at one with their true nature.

May they be free from suffering.

May they be at peace.

Let that loving kindness, that forgiveness, extend to the whole planet—to every level of existence, seen and unseen.

May all beings be freed of suffering.

May they know the power of forgiveness, of freedom, of peace.

May all beings seen and unseen, at every level of existence, may they know their true being.

May they know their vastness—their infinite peacefulness.

May all beings be free.

May all beings be free.

STEP TWELVE: ACTIVELY PURSUE
PLEASURE AND PURPOSE

By pursuing your allurements, you help bind the universe together.
The unity of the world rests on the pursuit of passion.

When my younger daughter was nine, she reminded me how beautifully we are equipped with the innate capacity to live life fully, appre ciating it as we go along. On Easter Sunday, she came bounding downstairs and exclaimed, “Don’t you love it when you feel good, and you look good, and your room’s clean, too?”

Watch children for a while, and you will begin to see what qualities you need to embody to wake up your soul and your immune system regularly. Most young children know exactly what they want. We are all born with an innate ability to know what we want. We are then socialized to believe that we can’t have what we want, and so we grad ually dismiss our innermost desires, our lives’ passions, to avoid disappointment. But I have come to the —Brian Swimme conclusion that feminine desire is the most powerful force for good on the planet.

David Ehrenfeld, M.D., Ph.D., wrote in
The Arrogance of Humanism
(Oxford University Press, 1978, updated 1981):

Our civilization is coming to equate the value of life with the mere avoidance of death. An empty and impossible goal, a fool’s quest for nothingness, has been substituted for a delight in living that lies latent in all of us. When death is once again accepted as one of many important parts of life, then life may recover its old thrill, and the efforts of good physicians will not be wasted.
²¹

Get out a piece of paper and write on the top of it, “I desire . . .” or “I choose . . . ,” then write in what you want. For example, “I desire a strong, healthy body” or “I choose a strong, healthy body.” Notice that the word
desire
or
choose
feels effortless. You just have to allow it to come. This is the feminine receptive mode, so often lacking in our culture. Now write down exactly why you want what you want, so that you can literally feel the excitement generated by your enthusiasm. Remember: By the law of attraction, you attract your vibrational equiv alent. It is the feeling and the vibration of the feeling that have the power to attract circumstances to you. In one example: “A healthy, strong body makes me feel powerful and vibrant. I desire my body to be an instrument that is highly attuned to my needs. I desire a body that is a reflection of the beauty that is inside me. I choose a body that is capable of getting me where I want to go. I choose a body that has lots of energy and stamina so that I may enjoy my life more fully.”

The positive emotional energy generated by this experience literally begins to draw the experience of health to you. Focus on and think often about what you desire, and you will be setting up an invisible magnetic field that begins to draw health to you, unless you keep blocking it with other thoughts such as “Well, I want it, but I’ll never get it.” (Review step one and see if your future self has anything to tell you here.) Your thoughts and your emotions need to line up on this one. You can’t get around subconscious programming simply with affirmations. If you say you want a healthy body, but deep inside you don’t feel that you are wor thy of it or that illness is a punishment of some kind, you will be creating a mixed message, and your results won’t be nearly as good.

Every day, spend just a few minutes focusing on appreciating what brings you pleasure now. Make appreciation a habit. Keep an appreciation journal. What you pay attention to expands. Spend time noticing what is working and what you like right now. You will never be able to feel happy or fulfilled in the future unless you can feel how that would feel right now. Over time this process will change every cell in your body.

For thirty consecutive nights, just before falling asleep, say to your self, “I am peace. I am beauty. I am vibrantly healthy. I am prosperous.” During sleep, the intellect is quieted and your inner guidance takes over. Your intent to attain or maintain pleasure and peace will be programmed into your body-mind as you sleep. Just try this and see what happens.

As you move through your day, use the power of intent to clear a path for yourself. Say, “I am divinely irresistible to joy and freedom.” Post affirmations at strategic places around your home and workplace to program your subconscious for more pleasure, health, and purpose. Take the time to really listen to good music and really take in beauty and pleasure. I have found that the Mastery Program at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts is tremendously effective at inspiring women to heal through the deliberate cultivation of pleasure in a supportive community (
www.mamagenas.com
).

Make it a habit to concentrate on what is working in your life. Cultivate the habit of noticing what is good and appreciating it. A teacher named Abraham says, “Appreciation is the strongest emotion we have for attracting what we want.”
²²
When you look for people, places, and things to appreciate and learn to appreciate all of the aspects of your life that are working well, you’ll attract more of what you like and less of what you don’t. Start noticing little things, like how good the bedsheets feel on your toes at night or how good the pillow feels under your head.

I strongly recommend that you avoid watching the news on television, hearing it on the radio, or reading about it in the papers for at least thirty days. Instead of waking up to the news or to people talking on the radio, wake up to music. When you do this, you will be removing a major impediment to tuning in to your inner guidance—negative information overload. If you wake up to soft music or silence each morning, you will also be better able to remember your dreams. Over time, you will notice that you don’t miss much by avoiding the news. Media-savvy individuals are well aware of how thoroughly the news is manipulated to be as attention-getting as possible, thus whipping you into a frenzy of worry and fear so that you will feel more vulnerable and therefore buy what the advertisers are selling in order to feel better. The culture being what it is, someone will always tell you what is going on “out there.” You’ll always find out what applies to you and what you need to know. But you’ll have the advantage of a much more intimate relationship with yourself than most people have. I’ve been on a mostly news-free diet for over a decade. I cannot believe the difference it has made in my thoughts, dreams, and general state of well-being. Now, when I watch television or read the paper, I don’t take it very seriously and I’m very selective. I have proved to myself, beyond any doubt, that my ability to create the life I want by selectively choosing what I will give my attention to is the most powerful creative force in my life.

Write down your short-term and long-term goals for the coming year as already described on page 590. The very process of writing them down and thinking about them sets something magical into motion. The magical “something” is the power of intent—the power of our thoughts to create.

Get in the habit of noticing what you want—that is how you find your passion. Maybe you need to walk in the sun more, dig in the dirt more, wear skirts that swing more. When you allow yourself to feel more joy, your life will be filled with more abundance on all levels. I guarantee that somewhere inside you, you already know what it is you need and want.

I hope that going through this section has:

Jogged some stuck places in you that needed readjustment Reassured you that you are right on track Touched your anger Brought up tears Made you laugh Inspired you

That’s what life is: growing, changing, moving, creating—every day. A thirteenth-century Japanese Zen master, Dogen Zenji, once said that life is one continuous mistake.
²³
I love that. It’s so freeing to know that you can’t get it right—and you’ll never get it wrong, either.

Maybe you need to sing; maybe you need to run. Don’t wait. This life is not an emergency, but it also doesn’t offer any guarantees about going on forever. How do you want to feel? Imagine feeling that way often. What action do you need to take right now to live your life more fully? . . . Got it?

Now take a step toward it!

Blessed be.

16
Getting the Most
Out of Your Medical Care

Wellness that is being allowed, or the wellness that is being denied, is all
about the mindset, the mood, the attitude, the practiced thoughts. There
is not one exception, in any human or beast; because, you can patch
them up again and again, and they will just find another way of reverting
back to the natural rhythm of their mind. Treating the body really is
about treating the mind. It is all psychosomatic. Every bit of it, no exceptions.