Wonderland (Intergalactic Fairy Tales Book 1) (13 page)

"But I didn't intend to cut the table or the kettle," argued Alice.

"No, I don't suppose that you did." Seamus grinned and his bright amber eyes glinted and he raised a finger in the air. "But you were annoyed and probably wanted to cause a ruckus, didn't you?"

Alice nodded reluctantly. "I was being a bit of a child, wasn't I?"

"Oh, don't fret over that," said Seamus stepping up close to Alice, his brilliant eyes smiling. "I can be quite a child myself from time to time. The important lesson here is that while you hold the sword, you must be very careful of your emotions. You could do great harm before you realize what it is you've done."

Alice lowered the tip of the sword carefully, trying to keep her thoughts as calm and collected as possible. These people and animals seemed to be friendly enough. They'd let her stay inside Tea Time and out of the queen's clutches. Maybe they would even help her figure out how to get to The White Rabbit.

The sword came into contact with the surface of the table and this time it rested there without cutting through the wood. Seamus nodded encouragingly and held out his hand. Alice passed the hilt of the sword over to him gently and sighed when the song of the sword left her mind.

"Ahhh," cooed Seamus, his eyes drooping closed. "It's been a long time my friend. I'm so glad you found the one I made you for."

"But, we only just met," said Alice. "As a matter of fact, I think you may have made the sword before I was even born." She looked up at the hatter and waited for him to start spouting madness again.

"True enough on both accounts, but neither fact does anything to contradict what I said." The hatter's eyes flicked open. They were fogged over, leaving them almost entirely white. "This sword as I designed it can only be wielded by one person. A singular being who is meant to accomplish much in her lifetime. She will bring peace and dignity back to Wonderland and Snicker-snack will dance at her side. She will smite the wicked and inspire nobility in those whose lives she touches. And as I can see now, her name shall be Alice."

The March Hare finally seemed to rouse from his reverie and stared over at Alice. "Wait, Seamus. Are you saying this little slip of a girl is the one you designed the vorpal sword for all those years ago?"

"I am, indeed," said Seamus, his eyes returning to their usual unsettling shade.

"So she will slay the Jabberwock?" asked Lyla, peeking from behind the remnants of the tea kettle.

"And any who stand in her way," agreed Seamus.

"Well, then," said Lyla, drawing her tiny sword and holding it in the air. "Let me be the first to pledge my sword to help you in any way that I can. That foul Jabberwock burned the tree that my family was in. If I weren't out foraging at the time I would have gone with them. I curse the powers that be every day for that cruelty, and then thank them for being given the opportunity to avenge my family."

"Aww, you poor thing," said Alice, looking down at Lyla.

"Don't you dare pity me because I'm 'small and cute'. I'm a warrior like the rest of my family was and I'll cut out your pretty eyes and use them as decoration."

It didn't seem the right time for Alice to argue that she only felt sorry because a fellow creature had lost their family, so she just said, "Duly noted."

"Hmmph," said the dormouse, nodding emphatically.

Alice couldn't be sure, but it seemed to be a nod of approval. "I'd be glad to have you fighting at my side."

"Oh-ho-ho, and fight you do, Alice," said Seamus, eyeing the vorpal sword. "Snicker-snack was just explaining to me that you enjoy cutting hands off. She quite enjoys it herself."

"I don't enjoy cutting hands off," said Alice, the bright spray of scarlet gushing from Karl's stump flashing before her eyes.

"Well, then whatever did you do it for?" asked Seamus, just then injecting a tone of disapproval, as if cutting hands off were a perfectly fine hobby, but a deplorable thing to do if you weren't enjoying it.

"He was trying to take me somewhere," said Alice, her body shuttering involuntarily.

"Note to self," said the hatter seriously. "Avoid taking Alice places unless you want to lose a hand."

"No, no, no," said Alice, sighing with frustration. "He was trying to abduct me. I think he meant to hunt me…” she said, avoiding the glances of the two non-humans at the table. “Like an animal.”

"The scoundrel!" shouted all three of the visible people at the table and Cheshire from somewhere toward the other end.

"He's lucky you only took his hand," added Lyla. "I'd have used a more final form of retribution, if you know what I mean." She drew a line across her throat with one tiny claw.

Alice smiled, glad to hear that not everyone in Wonderland thought what he’d planned to do was acceptable. "Thank you, Lyla, and the rest of you as well."

“Every living thing deserves to live the life it was given," said Seamus. He gently handed the sword back to her. "Snicker-snack told quite a story about your escape. The two of you together are truly magnificent. What are your plans now?"

"Well, I'm not really sure what to do. I'm sure the queen is still looking for me. She doesn't seem to be the type to give up something that she believes is hers." Alice sheathed the sword and took a seat at the table. It groaned loudly when she leaned her elbows on it. "What I want to do is meet up with The White Rabbit and see if he'll give escaping with me a try."

"White Rabbit?" asked March, one of his bionic ears perking up.

"Oh, that's right, I haven't told you all much of anything about my adventures," said Alice.

So, Alice recounted her tale from her parents sending her to bed, all the way up to meeting Seamus. When it was said all together it sounded completely mad. The hatter, the hare, the dormouse, and she assumed the Cheshire cat, listened with rapt attention, gasping and jeering in just the right places during the story. Lyla seemed particularly impressed with her escape from The Red Palace and reaffirmed her wish to put up her sword next to Snicker-snack and battle to the bloody end. The more the dormouse spoke with no one scoffing, the more Alice believed she might actually be as fierce as she claimed.

"This White Rabbit sounds like quite a noble creature, so I approve of you giving him a name relating to my short-legged cousins,” said March. “I should love to meet him some day. Too bad that's impossible.”

"Impossible?" asked Alice.

"Oh yes," said March sipping his Tea. "The Red Palace is an impenetrable fortress. I don't see you just marching in there and getting your friend the ship to fly away with you. You could wait for him to go on one of his excursions like the one where he picked you up, but who knows when that will be and the queen would probably find you by then. So, I don't see any way we're going to ever get to meet him."

"Impossible?" asked Seamus. "Impossible is my favorite flavor. People said that a sword that could cut through anything and be smarter than its user was impossible, but there she sits on our young friend's hip."

"Right," piped in Lyla. "I say we storm the place and give the bloody queen of hearts and her lackeys what they deserve. If we're lucky, she’ll put out the Jabberwock and I'll get to take my revenge."

"You keep talking about this Jabberwock," said Alice, looking down at the dormouse. "What is it exactly?"

"It's a hideous beast," responded Seamus. "Covered in scales and horns, it breathes fire, and its roar is a shrill psychic attack that drives people insane. It's the most horrible creature ever to exist and it answers only to the queen. Nobody knows how she controls it."

"If it doesn't kill you, it leaves you mad as a...um, hatter," said March. "Pardon the expression, Seamus.

"Don't worry about it," said Seamus. "It's not like I'm really a hatter anyway. They just started calling me that because of my sense of style once I went round the bend." He tipped his oversized top hat and grinned. "Besides, it was that beast that drove me to it."

"The longer I'm here," said Alice, "the less I think that any of you are truly mad."

"You're probably being affected by the Jabberwock already. I'm sure if you have some Tea, you'll be back to thinking us all off our rockers in no time," said Seamus, pouring some more Tea into the cup in front of her. At some point Violet must have dropped some more off because there was a new steaming pot next to him.

"Oh fine," said Alice, gingerly taking a sip of the piping hot Tea. "If it will make you feel better, I'll drink the stuff."

"The point is that it will make
you
feel better," said March.

Alice took another sip of the Tea and smiled. It really was quite pleasant to drink. It had a rich earthy flavor with just a hint of mint and it warmed her stomach nicely. "Well, it tastes nice, but I don't feel a bit different."

"Give it a moment," said Seamus.

All three of her companions watched her expectantly. Alice was surprised to find that she thought of them as friends already. Things happened so quickly in Wonderland, it was hard to believe that anyone lived beyond the age of ten. She'd only been there the span of a day and already she felt as if she were nearly a hundred years old.

The warmth of the Tea suffused her body, making her fingers and toes tingle. It was rather a pleasant feeling. Then her problems loomed large in her mind, threatening to overwhelm her. There were so many. She was trapped in Wonderland. Her only means of escape was locked inside The Red Palace. She was being chased by the queen of Wonderland who most likely wanted to take off her head, and lastly, she was starting to miss her parents. For a moment she felt cold dread at having to face those dilemmas. Alice was only a small girl after all. How could she ever hope to do anything to help herself?

Then, like magic, her problems began to shrink. One by one they got smaller and smaller in her head until they only occupied the tiniest corner of her mind. All that mattered was that she was sitting with friends and having a pleasant cup of Tea. They may be barking mad, but they were her friends. A slow smile crept across her face.

"There," said Seamus, nodding. "That's it."

March smiled and went back to drinking his own Tea. "Much better," he said, though it wasn't clear if he was talking to himself or Alice.

Alice nodded anyway and took another sip of her Tea. This time the effects were much more immediate. It seemed as if everything in the world were being shoved through a keyhole. It twisted and pulled at Alice, threating to pull her in.

Her companions didn't seem to notice anything. They just chatted idly and drank their Tea. Alice's insides began to writhe and she grasped at her stomach, but her hands were entirely too small for the task. Seamus' voice grew impossibly loud and Lyla's started to deepen into a husky human female register.

All at once the world dimmed and began to spin. Alice had read plenty of descriptions of the feeling before. She was passing out. It wouldn't be long before everything would go black and then she wouldn't have any thoughts until she came around again.

The table fell away above Alice, as she expected, though she didn't feel a sensation of falling. Her insides finally righted themselves, but there wasn't anyone around. In front of her was only a large screen of cloth. When she looked up all she could see was darkness. A sudden breeze drifted through the space, chilling her backside. Alice reached back to pull up her pants and found that she wasn't wearing any. In fact, she was completely naked.

Her cheeks burned red. She instantly crossed one arm over her chest and squatted down to try and hide her lower half. She scuttled over to the cloth screen as quickly as she could, hoping no one would see her. That didn't seem to be a problem though, as she was completely alone in the strange cloth room. In the darkness above she could hear rumbling that sounded vaguely familiar, almost like voices, but they were impossibly deep and loud.

Then one voice called out in a normal pitch, "Banzaaaaaiii!" And the cloth room shook around her.

"Hello," called Alice, pulling the light blue fabric as best she could around her naked body.

"Alice?" called a husky feminine voice. "Are you down here?"

Alice debated not saying anything because she didn't want someone to find her naked. Then it occurred to her that whoever it was, knew her name, and at least they were a woman. "Yes, I'm over here," she shouted.

Fabric rustled, then a large hairy beast toppled over one of the fabric walls opposite her. It had a long furry tail and was wearing clothes. There was a sword strapped to its back. As soon as the beast looked up at her, Alice recognized her. "Lyla! You've gotten so large!"

"Not quite, Alice," said Lyla, standing up on her hind legs. She wore an expression that was hard to interpret; possibly a strange mix of concern and amusement. "Don't you recognize the fabric you've got yourself wrapped up in?"

Alice looked down at the light blue material and tried to place it. It wasn't until she saw a splotch of reddish brown that she understood. She was naked because her shirt was the massive pile of fabric laying around her like walls. Lyla hadn't gotten larger; Alice had gotten smaller. "I've shrunk!"

"Indeed you have," said Lyla. "You're probably just about my size now, which is quite a nice size to be if you ask me."